angincanada Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Little background on me. I have been overweight since I was in grade 8. I have gained and lost the same 70 pounds probably 4 or 5 times. I feel my health has slowly deteriorated over the past 6 or 7 years or so. My son was chronicaly ill as an baby/toddler and I took to eating to comfort my frustrations and stresses. I became anxious all of the time and started having daily panic attacks. I became agoropbobic and couldn't leave the house without first suffering a full blown panic attack. Under the direction of my doctor I started taking cipralex and within 5 months I had gained 60 pounds. He was diagnosed with celiac disease last year after 8 years of hospital stays and nobody willing to listen to me. During the past few years I've experienced a significant amount of joint pain. Knees cracking, fingers swell and ache, constant fatigue, mood swings, zero sex drive. I am really not living my life as i envisioned and want to live. I'm not the mom that I want to be and I'm not the wife I want to be either. Today I woke up and just felt disgusting. I felt bloated and my feet hurt and my knees hurt and I was exhausted. I tried on a few different scrub tops for a change and none of them fit. I ended up wearing one of the two I usually wear. So I got half way through my shift and a patient asked me if I was pregnant and touched my stomach. I quickly blurted out that I was just fat, turned quickly around and cried as I walked away. I am so disappointed and angry at myself that I've let my health go. I am so mad at the control that food has over me. I feel so stupid that I just can't get my s@#$ together and lose this weight so that I can take care of the joint pain due to being overweight for 15 years. I am starting an journal here as o embark on my whole30 starting tommorow may 1st. God knows I need the accountability and support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angincanada Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Meal #1: attempted an omelette but I was so nauseated Coffee with coconut milk Meal #2: 3 hardboiled eggs with ghee and steamed vegetables. Still a bit nauseated but I did what I could. Meal #3: burger patty, sweet potato and Napa cabbage salad with Asian dressing. Was really really craving iced tea so I took about 1/8 cup freshly squeezed orange juice and put it in carbonated water. Friday nights are usually pizza night followed by chips and snacks with a movie so I will admit I was a bit sad lol. Instead my son and I are going to go for a bike ride and snack on some watermelon (I'll add a protein so its compliant) and watch a movie. I have a headache that is kicking in and I'm tired but I know it'll pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillyjilly Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 I just read your post and could relate to a lot of what you said. Today is my first day as well. I am happy because I have a plan and need accountability. My husband is doing it with me, but not my daughter. We can do this. I have been in the pit before, and I know it is possible to climb out. Just take it minute by minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angincanada Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 Minute by minute is right! Just got back from a bike ride with my son. Lots of giggles and was awesome to get out there doing something I've been saying I'm too fat to do for a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillyjilly Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 I feel like I am too fat for my exercise class, but I refuse to give up. Today is my 2nd day, up all night coughing last night. Everything is blooming right now here in the deep south, so I think it was the pollen. I have been a little nauseous today. I totally binged out on sugar and carbs the week before my start date, which was May 1st. Also I am not sure how to see if there is a response to my post. this was a fluke, I just typed in my name, it is a little confusing the threads. I'll figure it out eventually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcs75 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Keep going!!! You started this and that is totally awesome!!! Every movement counts and the laughter with your son is even better Sounds like your journey will be longer than just 30 days - for me it is a long journey too, and we will be able to do this I'm not gonna give up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angincanada Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 OK tommorow i am back to day 1. I did well all day until 5:00 when I went to my neieces birthday party. I'd packed my own dinner and felt proud. 6:00 rolled around, opened up my bag and realized I forgot my dinner by this time it had been 6 hours since lunch and I was starving so I ended up having gluten free pizza. Now I feel like crap and I'm kad at myself. At least it was only day 2 but still hate starting over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angincanada Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Today was a good day! Still trying to work on veggies with breakfast though. Meal #1 2 eggs fried in ghee, apple with almond butter Meal #2 Egg salad stuffed in lettuce, watermelon, raw veggies Meal #3 Egg rolls in a bowl. These were amazing. Basically inards of a spring roll without the wrapper. An post the recipe if anyone is interested. Raw veggies (red pepper, carrots, celery, cucumber) dipped on EVOO and balsamic vinegar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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