Starting May 25th

[Guest bfree11]

Day 88 (of healthy eating)

 

Breakfast: plain siggi yogurt, berries, chia seeds, 1/3 cup of granola (still a small portion, but more than usual, not sure why I did it...), black coffee

Lunch: salad with chicken, veggies, nuts, seeds, 1/2 avocado, balsamic, olive oil, whole spinach millet & flax pita, kombucha

Dinner: chicken, tomato sauce, 1/2 red bell pepper

Exercise: Rest day again (so sleepy!)

 

I took another rest day today because I felt drowsy and bloated all day again. I'm not sure what's up with me, but I just feel sleepy and weak. The thought of exercising seemed miserable, which is not how I typically feel about workouts, especially yoga. I felt a strong guilt all day about not working out, but my body was telling me to rest, so I listened. I'm hoping I get out of this funk soon. Is it the extra carbs from the granola and the millet & flax wrap? Is it because I skipped eggs and had a smaller breakfast? I'm not sure. My plan for tomorrow is to have a little less granola with my yogurt and add 2 eggs. Then at lunch, I'm not going to have the wrap with my salad. I hope to be in the mood to do something active tomorrow after work!

 

Sleepiness historically has triggered snacking for me. If I'm tired, I crave sugar and snacks. I saw that happening to me yesterday with the chocolate, but I managed to not spiral out of control and kept my chocolate intake to just a taste. Today, I didn't have any sugar or snack cravings despite how tired and drained I felt. At Whole Foods, I thought about picking up a dark chocolate bar or Arctic Zero ice cream, but now when I have thoughts about food, I don't necessarily act on them. I had the thought, and then moved on and didn't buy any treats. 

 

For dinner, I cooked a chicken breast and heated up some tomato sauce to put on top. I had some goat cheese in the fridge and thought about putting that on top as well. I took it out and almost went through with it, but then stopped myself. I remember feeling like the goat cheese made my stomach a little grumbly the night before and I didn't want to feel this way after dinner once again. Without a second thought, I grabbed the goat cheese, and threw it in the trash (the Best By date was 2 days away anyway). 1. I can't believe I had cheese in my house for so long without binge eating it. It must have been there for a month. 2. I'm totally being more mindful about what I'm putting in my body, how I suspect it will make me feel, and if it's really worth it to me to eat. The emotional connection to food is dwindling. Sure, I walked by someone eating french fries today and thought "mmm I want one!" but then I just moved on and forgot all about them. 

 

At lunch, my friend was having a deli sandwich on a big sub roll with cheese and a bag of chips. She kept saying, "You're eating so healthy and I'm eating like crap, don't judge me!' I told her that it's her body, her choice and what she chooses isn't my business. Sometimes people almost feel threatened by the healthy choices I make. It makes them feel guilty about what they are choosing to eat. The more I look around, the people eating junk food are overweight and I'm just not interested in being overweight anymore. It's so hard to get onto the healthy eating wagon and it's even harder to stay on without falling off, but the confidence that committing to this has given me is huge. I've held on for 88 days now because eating healthy and staying active (besides the past 3 days    ) has made me like myself more. I enjoy my company more. I feel better in my skin. I see weight loss progress. The longer you resist junk food, the less important it becomes. I've emotionally detached from it at this point.

 

I remember my old behaviors vividly and I can completely see why I gained so much weight over time. I snacked and snacked and snacked, without even realizing I was doing it! The food in my kitchen would call to me. One handful would become the entire box in a matter of minutes. When I was sad, bored, or tired, I found happiness in food. I found comfort in restaurants and takeout. I found excitement in ordering all of the yummy things I wanted. I'd get an urge for something, think about it all day, and then treat myself to it. Sure there were stomach aches, regret, bloating, and shame, but when the negative consequences came, I turned to even more food to make it feel better. Even if I was super full and not hungry at all! Tonight, I almost ate the entire chicken breast, but there were 2 pieces left at the end that I was trying to decide what to do with. My immediate reaction was to quickly shove them in my mouth and get it over with so that I didn't have to throw away food. But then I thought about it... I wasn't hungry anymore and how big of a deal is it really to throw two small pieces of chicken in my garbage? But, it wasn't enough to be worth saving for leftovers, so why not just finish it so it doesn't go to waste? Why not?! Because I'm NOT hungry anymore, that's why! I was proud of myself for working through this one and seeing the light. It's definitely harder to stop myself when eating something more desirable like dairy or grains, but mindfulness is the answer. We need to truly think about what we put in our bodies. Every bite. 

[Higgles]

Your willpower has been so strong for the past 3 months, but I'm starting to realize the whole "taming the sugar dragon" thing is legit... the longer you can go without feeding it, the easier it may be. I haven't touched the snackbar or any junk food or anything all week. This morning I walked in the snackbar to heat up my breakfast meatballs and I looked at all the sugary junk and though, nah I'm good. But of course, that doesn't mean all cravings are gone. If someone walked right in here with a croissant, its more difficult to resist because bready things are a little different than sugary things to me.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good getting rid of that stuff again. However... last night I had a beer. This is the first one I've had in MONTHS! One of the leadership positions here (not my boss) wanted to do a mentoring session and the 4 of us hung out in his office with a beer. Now, I didn't feel peer pressured in a way that they would have said anything if I didn't take one, but I wanted to fit in. Surprisingly, the beer didn't negatively affect me... I expected I would be super bloated or gassy after. I chose whats called a Kristalweisen, which is like a hefeweisen but its been filtered, I thought that might have been the safer choice. The hubs was fake upset when I got home, he was like I"ve been wanting to have a beer with you for months and the second someone else asks you to have one you say yes!I told him I plan on this being a rare occurrence, but it was interesting to see how it effected me. I always knew different beers affected me differently, oddly enough wheat beers (like blue moon) don't bother me but a bud light will make me feel gross.

 

Yesterday was still a bit of a struggle. At one point I did want to go and grab something sugary but I resisted. I also ran to the mini-mall with someone from work to grab some coffee for the house. There is a mini-starbucks counter there (not a real starbucks) and I mentioned, oh I think I want a coffee. So I stood in front of the counter for a bit and realized, I don't need a fru-fru drink... I can't have milk in a regular coffee, plus I already had coffee, so why did I think this would be a good idea? And the I realized, it was because I wanted a cookie. They have big soft cookies at the counter and I think I was slowly convincing myself to get one, so I walked away and didn't get a thing. I knew I was going to be having a beer later in the day so I felt like that cheat made me strong to hold out on everything else.

 

Today we have a new monthly tradition to do birthdays and hails/farewells for those who have moved in and out this month. I'm sure there will be a cake, but I think I'm strong enough to resist it. The sugar will make my head hurt and probably cause me to make other bad decisions. I've done so well this week that I don't want to trash it over some cheap supermarket cake.

[Guest bfree11]

Day 89 (of healthy eating)

 

Breakfast: plain Fage 0% yogurt, berries, chia seeds, sprinkle of granola, black coffee

Lunch: salad with chicken, veggies, nuts, seeds, 1/2 avocado, balsamic, olive oil, kombucha

Dinner: steak, carrots, asparagus, 1/2 glass red wine

Exercise: Rest day - hopefully my last day of rest!

 

Tomorrow is day 90! When I wake up, I'm going to weigh in and take before and after pictures. I can't wait to compare Days 0, 30, 60, and 90! 

 

I woke up feeling kind of cloudy and had a runny nose. I think I finally figured out that I must have had a bit of a head cold the past few days. I felt so much guilt about not working out, but I'm proud of myself for listening to my body. I'm also proud of myself for cooking/eating healthy the past few days even though I've been feeling exhausted and drained. I've also been doing a ton of physical labor at work this week and working longer hours, so I feel like I was still able to stay active and even did a little strength training at work!

 

After an 11 hour work day today of constant lifting and moving around, I felt tired, but I also felt hungry! I haven't had red meat these past 30 days, but I was sort of wanting it tonight. I wouldn't say I was "craving" it, but the thought of getting some iron into my system seemed like a good idea. I always have spinach at lunch in my salad, but probably not enough to get a healthy amount of iron. At work we have a Dry Age Room, where we dry age our steaks and I've actually never tried one. We charge $55 for a 16 oz bone-in Kansas City 55 Day Dry-Aged Steak, but I get 50% off, so I decided to go for it! I ordered some asparagus on the side and it also came with carrots (which tasted a little buttery actually, probably cooked in butter). The asparagus was tossed in olive oil and the steak had nothing on it. 

 

The restaurant staff insisted of giving me a wine tasting to find my favorite wine to pair with the steak. I don't really care about alcohol that much and didn't really want this to become an unhealthy meal, so I compromised for just a tiny taste of each wine. I may have had a 1/2 a glass at most by the end of it, but I just had a few sips of each variety for the most part. They taught me all about the wines and it was fun and educational. I learned about the soils in France vs California, etc. The steak was delicious! 16 oz is a lot, but that's counting the bone too. I kept asking my coworkers how much of it I should eat. I didn't want to overeat! I ended up eating half and packing the rest up. I learned the difference between splurging and pampering tonight. I pampered myself with high quality steak and farm fresh veggies, along with a tiny taste of wine. I did not however, splurge. I could have had a TON of wine if I wanted to. They kept trying to push more wine on me and mixed drinks, but I said "no way." I could have tried to rationalize getting an appetizer or a dessert because I had "a long week." I could have said yes when friends at work asked me to go out to the bars after my meal, but I declined because I didn't want anymore to drink and wanted to get some rest. 

 

My relationship with restaurants has changed drastically. They are no longer a playground for me to run wild in. They are a lot of work actually. I have to ask several questions to ensure that I'm getting what I want and what's right for me. The best part of the night was when one of the bartenders asked how my meal was and I told her it was healthy and delicious. After that, she told me that every time she sees me walk by the bar at work, I look smaller and smaller. So nice to hear! Tonight was really special. I ate by myself at the bar, but I had the best time ever! I got to learn about food and wine from my coworkers and I pampered myself without trashing my body with junk. It was really nice to have a mindful, reasonable meal with myself and to enjoy my own company. 

[Guest bfree11]

Day 89 (of healthy eating)

 

Breakfast: plain Fage 0% yogurt, berries, chia seeds, sprinkle of granola, black coffee

Lunch: salad with chicken, veggies, nuts, seeds, 1/2 avocado, balsamic, olive oil, kombucha

Dinner: steak, carrots, asparagus, 1/2 glass red wine

Exercise: Rest day - hopefully my last day of rest!

 

Tomorrow is day 90! When I wake up, I'm going to weigh in and take before and after pictures. I can't wait to compare Days 0, 30, 60, and 90! 

 

I woke up feeling kind of cloudy and had a runny nose. I think I finally figured out that I must have had a bit of a head cold the past few days. I felt so much guilt about not working out, but I'm proud of myself for listening to my body. I'm also proud of myself for cooking/eating healthy the past few days even though I've been feeling exhausted and drained. I've also been doing a ton of physical labor at work this week and working longer hours, so I feel like I was still able to stay active and even did a little strength training at work!

 

After an 11 hour work day today of constant lifting and moving around, I felt tired, but I also felt hungry! I haven't had red meat these past 30 days, but I was sort of wanting it tonight. I wouldn't say I was "craving" it, but the thought of getting some iron into my system seemed like a good idea. I always have spinach at lunch in my salad, but probably not enough to get a healthy amount of iron. At work we have a Dry Age Room, where we dry age our steaks and I've actually never tried one. We charge $55 for a 16 oz bone-in Kansas City 55 Day Dry-Aged Steak, but I get 50% off, so I decided to go for it! I ordered some asparagus on the side and it also came with carrots (which tasted a little buttery actually, probably cooked in butter). The asparagus was tossed in olive oil and the steak had nothing on it. 

 

The restaurant staff insisted of giving me a wine tasting to find my favorite wine to pair with the steak. I don't really care about alcohol that much and didn't really want this to become an unhealthy meal, so I compromised for just a tiny taste of each wine. I may have had a 1/2 a glass at most by the end of it, but I just had a few sips of each variety for the most part. They taught me all about the wines and it was fun and educational. I learned about the soils in France vs California, etc. The steak was delicious! 16 oz is a lot, but that's counting the bone too. I kept asking my coworkers how much of it I should eat. I didn't want to overeat! I ended up eating half and packing the rest up. I learned the difference between splurging and pampering tonight. I pampered myself with high quality steak and farm fresh veggies, along with a tiny taste of wine. I did not however, splurge. I could have had a TON of wine if I wanted to. They kept trying to push more wine on me and mixed drinks, but I said "no way." I could have tried to rationalize getting an appetizer or a dessert because I had "a long week." I could have said yes when friends at work asked me to go out to the bars after my meal, but I declined because I didn't want anymore to drink and wanted to get some rest. 

 

My relationship with restaurants has changed drastically. They are no longer a playground for me to run wild in. They are a lot of work actually. I have to ask several questions to ensure that I'm getting what I want and what's right for me. The best part of the night was when one of the bartenders asked how my meal was and I told her it was healthy and delicious. After that, she told me that every time she sees me walk by the bar at work, I look smaller and smaller. So nice to hear! Tonight was really special. I ate by myself at the bar, but I had the best time ever! I got to learn about food and wine from my coworkers and I pampered myself without trashing my body with junk. It was really nice to have a mindful, reasonable meal with myself and to enjoy my own company. 

[Guest bfree11]

Hi all,

 

For the past 90 days, I've been posting here and on my  "Starting May 25th" thread everyday. I post the same thing in 2 different spots because this was more of a log of my journey and the other thread was more of a back and forth  between other people starting on the same day. I was just notified  by one of the moderators that I'm not allowed to put the same post in two locations. She even deleted my other thread because it had non-compliant food. After 90 long, hard days of commitment to healthy eating and writing all of these posts, I'm disappointed by the rigidity and tone I received from this moderator. I'm not sure if anyone has still been reading this thread, but if so, feel free to follow my blog instead, listed below. I'm happy to say that this forum was a very supportive place  during my journey, but unfortunately, I was just rubbed the wrong way and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

[Guest bfree11]

A moderator deleted this thread today because I had non-compliant food listed and I was putting my posts in 2 threads. Apparently that is a serious no no here... I thought I was just reaching out to more people and being a support to others...

 

Ok, she undeleted it, because I complained, but honestly, I can't support this forum any longer if this is the way  moderators are treating people. The emotional detachment and rigidity is sad to me. This should be about helping people.

 

To anyone still following, feel free to follow my blog listed below. And Higgles, I hope we can find another way to continue, email?

[missmary]

bfree11 I'm sorry you were upset by our attempt to keep the boards in order. Your two threads have been merged into one. Cross-posting has long been against forum rules, and we often have to merge two threads. This is not an attempt to silence you or a judgement of your content. You are free to continue posting whatever food you desire in the "your post whole30 log" section. 

[Higgles]

Bfree, I'm sorry your other log was taken down... I always viewed the thread as a whole 30 plus riding your own bike... its obvious from the posts that we are post whole-30 and working reintroduction/working out our lives so the idea that talking about non-compliant food is the issue seems silly to me because you're not advocating or stating that you're on a whole 30 right now, it was a continual log. 

 

Knowing that I had someone who was sharing their journey daily helped me stay accountable. Telling my husband I stayed away from the snack bar didn't do much, he doesn't understand not having willpower, but being able to tell you made it feel like a success, because you know  the struggle. I don't know what I'll do while eating breakfast if I'm not checking our thread

[ladyshanny]

Hi guys, so sorry that this has caused so much negative feelings. To be true, we as the mod team messed this one up because as soon as you folks started posting about non compliant foods while doing reintro and riding your own bikes, we should have asked you to either open a Post Whole30 log or let us move the one you were using. Unfortunately we missed it and let it go on too long which wasn't fair to you who got used to using it.

(as far as having the exact same thing posted in more than one location, if I could I would show you that I personally PM at least 2 people a week asking them not to copy and paste into different threads........it was simple oversight and quick moving, volume heavy threads that prevented us from noticing this was happening before)

There really is no reason you can't continue to use this thread, you obviously both enjoy it and you are free to post whatever you like on it as it is in the Post Whole30 section. There should be no ill will about being in this section as you two aren't disputing the fact that you are riding your own bikes.

Once again, I apologize, I suspect that if we had taken care of the cross posting and off-plan in the on-plan section 60 days ago, this would have been less of an issue, it was probably somewhat unexpected as you were just cruising along doing what you were used to.

(Please also know that while it is obvious to you guys and the mods that you are riding your own bikes, we cannot leave off plan posts in the on plan section in order to keep the forum clear and clean. I trust you understand this and once the emotion settles a bit, you'll not fault our moderator, Miss Mary, for doing her job).

[Guest bfree11]

I have no issue with the rules. I am happy to respect whichever rules you have. It's the way she went about it that was uncool and insensitive. Best of luck to everyone, but this forum isn't for me!

[Higgles]

Exactly, I understand moving the thread to over here, as we are post-whole 30 now, honestly I didn't even think it was a problem or we would have started a new thread, the momentum had us keep going. I also understand about the cross-posting as I understand a lot of people don't understand how the boards work. I knew she was posting in her log but to me I thought the logs were unmoderated so it was more of a holding place for all of her personal posts without my junk getting involved in her log. Regardless its over now, thanks for your thoughts ladyshanny.