Jessica

The crazy things people say

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New Years health talk in the lunch room at work...

 

Coworker: I started doing Weight Watchers again.

Me: Oh?

CW: Yeah, it works, I lost 30lbs last time.

Me: Ummm....did it really "work" if you have to do it again?

Coworker: I lost 30lbs last time.

 

I actually feel like the "I'm doing WW again because it worked for me before" is something I hear a lot and just doesn't make sense.

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Since the recent U.S. News, and subsequently CNN.com, article ranking paleo really low among "diets," people keep pointing this out to me.  The author of the article gave it bad marks for not being sustainable because it's too restrictive.  :rolleyes:

 

Better stick to something less restrictive, like Slim Fast.  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:

 

I can't put enough eyeroll emoticons on this post today...

 

And you have to keep in mind that the people who were ranking those diets probably all buy into the lies that whole grains are good for your heart and saturated fat is the enemy and/or are in the pocket of organizations that make money off that lie.

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I also had someone say "your being such a freak about it, and I don't like it."

Oh....YOU don't like what I'm doing? Well I'm not making YOU do it...I think I am in the "Kill all the things" stage because I was not a happy camper this weekend.

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My parents: "When you come and visit, we'll take you to a restaurant, as you'll be eating real food again."

Me: ... I'm eating real food now. I'm not eating frankenfood now.

This from my mom, who ALWAYS orders a healthy salad at restaurants!!!

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Ready for another one? This is a conversation that I actually had at work today. I am still confused by it.

Coworker: What are you having for dinner?

Ali: Meatloaf.

Coworker: How can you have meatloaf?

Ali: ... because it is a loaf made of meat? Also veggies.

Coworker: No, I mean... you can't have meatloaf without oats.

Ali: I would hazard a guess that you can, since it is in fact called a meat loaf and not an oat loaf. (Oat loaf would be a great band name.)

Coworker: Well... but you can't have ketchup.

Ali: I can if there are no sugar and no additives.

Coworker: Where did you possibly find ketchup without sugar?

Ali: Oh, I made some.

Coworker: YOU CAN'T MAKE KETCHUP.

Ali: ... yes you can.

Coworker: HOW?

Ali: I found a recipe on the internet.

Coworker: YOU CAN'T FIND A RECIPE FOR KETCHUP ON THE INTERNET.

Ali: ... there you go again. This is a thing I have done. It occurred in the past. It has already happened.

Her tone was seriously as though I had stated I found a recipe for the philosopher's stone on the internet. KETCHUP: ONE OF THE LOST WONDERS OF THE ANCIENT WORLD, you guys.

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lmao.  i'm pretty sure there are an infinite number of meatloaf recipes out there depending on who's making it.  My mother's never included ketchup, barbeque sauce, or any other condiment like that and i know some people basically smother their's.

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A coworker brought in cupcakes and said "I'm sorry you can't have any on your program because they're made with mayonaisse."

Side note - I work for a large pharma company in the diabetes/insulin department and at least three days a week there are sugary treats 10 feet from my desk. At our health fair the juvenile diabetes table was covered in candy and I finally had to say something! They said "well it's sugar free". I said that wouldn't really make it better ... But it's actually NOT even sugar free.

:/

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This weekend, my mom, who makes really good bread and who's also really good at a running passive-aggressive commentary about the things I eat, healthy or not:

 

Mom: I made some squash bread and I'm packing up a loaf for you.

Me: So sorry mom, really appreciate it, but like I said, I am cutting out refined carbs and sweets.

Mom: But...not even bread? Not even bread YOUR OWN MOTHER MADE for you?

Me: Sigh.

 

We ended the tense phone call with her: "Well, don't overdo this diet thing. It's not good to always be good. You need to sin a little bit." (As if what I was doing was just soooo good and anything else was beneath me.)

 

I was so worked up by that phone call. Mothers, man. They have a special button only they can push!

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This weekend, my mom, who makes really good bread and who's also really good at a running passive-aggressive commentary about the things I eat, healthy or not:

 

Mom: I made some squash bread and I'm packing up a loaf for you.

Me: So sorry mom, really appreciate it, but like I said, I am cutting out refined carbs and sweets.

Mom: But...not even bread? Not even bread YOUR OWN MOTHER MADE for you?

Me: Sigh.

 

We ended the tense phone call with her: "Well, don't overdo this diet thing. It's not good to always be good. You need to sin a little bit." (As if what I was doing was just soooo good and anything else was beneath me.)

 

I was so worked up by that phone call. Mothers, man. They have a special button only they can push!

 

My answer to this would be something along the line of "My choices of food have absolutely no impact on my morality as a person mother, just whether I will be more or less healthy." followed by "please ave me a slice of bread or two for when I do my reintroduction phase". 

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Overheard in the lunch room: Woman1: what are you eating for lunch? Woman2: Just some vegetables. Woman1: Oh, are you on that new diet your nutritionist recommended? Woman2: no, I just ... Wanted to eat vegetables. Woman1: *confused look* Really, if the woman was eating a plate of Mac and cheese or something there would be no question about it. But load a plate up with veggies and it's all, "what are you eating?!?"

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My family has dinner with my mom and dad on Sundays. Mom knows that my partner and I are doing another Whole30. So we walk in, and it smells HEAVENLY.

 

Me: What smells so amazing?

Mom: The pork roast.

Me [Not accusing, just genuinely curious]: What did you do to it?

Partner: Yeah, it smells almost like...bread.

Mom: I don't know why it would smell like bread! It's just pork!

 

[Later, as we're eating, oohing and aahing over the amazing meat...]

 

Mom: Well, the trick is to put it in the pan with some apple juice, nutritional yeast, and a little bit of vermouth...

 

What happened to it being "just pork"? Yeesh.

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This weekend, my mom, who makes really good bread and who's also really good at a running passive-aggressive commentary about the things I eat, healthy or not:

 

Mom: I made some squash bread and I'm packing up a loaf for you.

Me: So sorry mom, really appreciate it, but like I said, I am cutting out refined carbs and sweets.

Mom: But...not even bread? Not even bread YOUR OWN MOTHER MADE for you?

Me: Sigh.

 

We ended the tense phone call with her: "Well, don't overdo this diet thing. It's not good to always be good. You need to sin a little bit." (As if what I was doing was just soooo good and anything else was beneath me.)

 

I was so worked up by that phone call. Mothers, man. They have a special button only they can push!

I would have said. Awesome! Sounda great. Then dump in the trash on the way home.

I try to engage as little as possible with people in regards to food. Ugh. So frustrating.

At lunch I make a huge salad almost everyday for work. Even long before w30, and every day someone says to me 'wow that's so much food you're going to be at all that?'

All that being three cups of veggies and some meat. Probably a third of the caloriesn in their burger etc

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You guys. Are you ready for the best story ever? ARE YOU?

Tonight boyfriend I went over to a friend's house for dinner. This friend knows I am doing Whole 30 and is bemused by it, but has been supportive. She made a dish served over couscous, but made sure she cooked everything else with nothing I couldn't have, and I just brought cauliflower rice to go on mine.

Friend has a four year old daughter. This is relevant.

So we're all chatting before dinner, and me doing the Whole 30 comes up, and friend's husband is giving me grief about it, and like a million times in the conversation, "whole wheat" comes up with reference to the couscous. He's saying things like "but it's whole wheat," and "whole wheat is good for you," and whole wheat whole wheat whole wheat ad nauseum.

So we sit down to dinner, and the four year old takes one look at the couscous and starts to cry. Husband shoots me this dirty look and I'm like DUDE I didn't say anything to your kid, I would never, and so he says, "Baby, the couscous is so good, it's whole wheat."

Kidlet cries harder. Dad says, "Why don't you want to eat the good whole wheat, is it because Miss Ali isn't eating it?"

"NO," sobs the kidlet, "THAT'S WHAT GOES IN THE KITTY POTTY."

Yup.

They use this: http://www.swheatscoop.com/our-products/original-formula/

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