Raising kids to understand food

[krisuga]

I'm having my first kid and i'm already worried about how to talk to him/her about their food choices without causing food hangups or body image issues.  I watch my niece eat more sugary foods than any adult would ever eat and i'm worried about how i'll "prevent" my kid from preferring those foods over healthy choices.  I'm also afraid of making "bad food" taboo and thus forbidden fruit.  

 

Any articles, books, etc for talking to your kids about healthy eating and raising them to prefer healthy foods over crap from the start?  

When do you let go and when do you put your foot down?  

How do you talk about food choices in a way they will understand and not translate into "mom doesnt want me to be fat"

 

Thank you! 

Kris

[MrsStick]

I'm in the same boat you are and have to say that what you wrote here hit me pretty hard. At this point, I've been mostly figuring I'd just call certain foods 'sometimes foods' for the less-healthy ones but how do you teach a kid the difference between the granola bar their friend just ate and the one you made at home? Or how the granola bar their friend just ate is literally just a cookie by a different name and so not healthy even though everyone thinks it is? How do you not turn them into little judgmental jerks like we all can sometimes be as adults (but never say, because we've learned not to do that) because I certainly don't want my kid disrespecting someone over their food choices/availability.

 

As for raising them to prefer healthy foods at the start, look into baby led weaning. No purees/puffs so they learn actual textures and flavors (I mean, if you've smelled/tasted baby food flavors at a baby shower you can agree, they taste NOTHING like the real thing...I'm looking at you, salmon and wild rice...ugh...) instead of the puffs that just dissolve on their tongue and aren't like any actual food that we're eating as adults. It's what I'm planning on doing with my Twig (unknown gender at this point) in 28 weeks + about 6 months.

[eelopez]

One thing to remember is that kids take cues from their parents. The more you seem to obsess over food the more they will too, that also goes for body image issues. I have two little girls (age 4 and almost 2), and since my oldest was a baby I decided to never, ever let her hear me call myself "fat" or "ugly" because i remember my own mother calling herself fat/ugly many times and always felt awkward when she did it because I never viewed her that way (even when she was overweight) and couldn't understand how she could call herself ugly when everyone else thought she was beautiful. 

That being said, I don't always do a good job keeping my kids eating healthily. I try, but depending on the child, it's hard. My oldest is very picky, strong willed and won't eat veggies unless I chop them fine and put them into something like meatloaf and smoothies. Of course, I still offer her fruits and veggies as side dishes, as well as explain to her that veggies/meat/fruit make her healthy, help her grow, and be strong. If she doesn't eat it, I don't force it on her because then it becomes a control issue with her. Once that happens she won't do it simply because I want her to (she's going to be a fun teenager). If she comes to me and says she's hungry and wants something that is full of sugar I explain that something with protein would be better and give her other choices, I also don't stock my kitchen with a lot of bad stuff. If she asks then I simply open up the pantry and show her we don't have any of the cookies she's asking for and offer her other choices. Overall, I remind myself to stay calm/patient and eventually she will get use to seeing brussels sprouts on her plate with dinner and one day will try them. 

As for letting her have non-healthy food: If we're at a party, then yes, I let her have the treats. When she's at other people's houses and they offer her food, she's allowed to eat it (she doesn't have any allergies or sensitivities or I would handle this differently). In general I try to take the "calm the F down" approach to food with her because I have a lot of other areas in her life that I need to remain diligent on (like wearing a helmet, not diving off the furniture, and getting to bed at a decent hour) and food fighting is not one of them. I don't stress if she eats something unhealthy because I try and focus on offering her healthy food. 

As for my second daughter, I did more of a baby-led weening approach with her. We still did purees (in general I was more comfortable with that) but after her jar of whatever, I gave her stuff from my plate. The girl was born hungry and would mess/play/eat until she was full. Now she eats almost anything and I'm not so worried about getting her to eat her veggies. It's not a cure-all for pickiness (I have friends who did baby-led weening and still their kids are picky), but it does help them understand when they are full and get use to a wide variety of textures and tastes.

You're baby will probably prefer sugary, unhealthy foods over good, nutritious foods. Heck, even I prefer cookies and ice cream over kale chips. I wouldn't worry so much about preventing this because it probably won't happen (sorry). It's good that you're thinking about this now, eating healthy now, and doing what you can now because you're child will mimic you and take after your example.

[krisuga]

eelopez, thanks for the advice and the comfort. It was exactly what i needed.  i hadn't heard of baby led weaning, but i'm definitely going to read more about it!  I'm feeling much better about this now.  

 

MrsStick, your concerns are exactly mine! Thank you for sharing!

 

If either of you run across any resources or have any more advices as your "babies" get bigger, please keep me posted!

 

Thanks

Kris 

[GFChris]

When your kids are old enough to be read to, a popular book choice around here is Eat Like a Dinosaur. 

[librarianprincess]

Completely agree with eelopez!
We go to the farmer's market every week, so we've become friends with the people who grow some of our food, and we talk about how much better the food tastes when it's fresh and in season. We pick berries when they are in season too. I want connection with where food comes from for my kid! 
I try to make lots and lots of good food. There is more sugar in my house than there would be without children. We do have pancakes and syrup on Sunday mornings, for example. They're pancakes made from pumpkin puree and eggs, but it's still syrup. I don't buy food I don't want her to eat, and there are always good snacks in my purse, just in case. But, I don't do much limiting of what's eaten away from our house (except gluten- but we've got issues with it). It's working for now- will have to see how it goes when I have a teenager. 
And keep serving the things they don't like- often they come around. My avocado and spaghetti squash hater loves them now. 

[krisuga]

Thanks, librarianprincess!  Getting them involved in food choices and understanding where "raw" foods come from is a great idea.  How do you handle the meat aspect of that?  I don't really want my kids to be vegetarians :/.

[SpinSpin]

I have a little guy who is 4 and he has been raised pretty much paleo. He has had the occasional cookie, and we do get cupcakes for his birthday and once in a while, ice cream. We just don't let junk in the house. His favorite foods are mushrooms, baby shrimp, grape tomatoes and baby carrots -- this week! He loves fish and chicken, pork and beef -- bbq tri tip is a big favorite -- blueberries and raspberries, strawberries too. He has never had cold cereal. I don't think he would even know what to do if he was offered a bowl. He has only ever had one sandwich, and he took it apart, ate the meat and cheese that was inside and left the bread. We did a delayed food intro started at 9 months with him and his first food was zucchini. 

 

What we do now, is let him pick out veggies at the store, put them in a bag and then he carries them to the cashier. That helps him with eating the veggies and fruit later, because he helped pick them out. He also helps as he can with cooking too, stirring, putting things in the pot or pan, being Mama's taster. I highly reccomend Eat like a Dinosaur. Besides having a fun intro section with a neat story, it is also a really good kid friendly cookbook. I have found that being 'cool' about food and not making a big deal and not getting heavy about good vs bad is a good way to go. By not making a big deal about the occasional cookie or treat from Grandma, I think forstals any issue about good vs bad and helps to reduce relatives going behind your back. There are things I have said no to, but I think not making a big deal about it makes the bad things seem less alluring and far less tempting than if you said all "blank" are  bad and forbidden then they are going to look to sneak, at least in my experience. Also, if you make eating good food fun and not a chore, there will be less allure to go to the bad foods as well. 

[Oldehiker]

I have a little guy who is 4 and he has been raised pretty much paleo. He has had the occasional cookie, and we do get cupcakes for his birthday and once in a while, ice cream. We just don't let junk in the house. His favorite foods are mushrooms, baby shrimp, grape tomatoes and baby carrots -- this week! He loves fish and chicken, pork and beef -- bbq tri tip is a big favorite -- blueberries and raspberries, strawberries too. He has never had cold cereal. I don't think he would even know what to do if he was offered a bowl. He has only ever had one sandwich, and he took it apart, ate the meat and cheese that was inside and left the bread. We did a delayed food intro started at 9 months with him and his first food was zucchini. 

 

What we do now, is let him pick out veggies at the store, put them in a bag and then he carries them to the cashier. That helps him with eating the veggies and fruit later, because he helped pick them out. He also helps as he can with cooking too, stirring, putting things in the pot or pan, being Mama's taster. I highly reccomend Eat like a Dinosaur. Besides having a fun intro section with a neat story, it is also a really good kid friendly cookbook. I have found that being 'cool' about food and not making a big deal and not getting heavy about good vs bad is a good way to go. By not making a big deal about the occasional cookie or treat from Grandma, I think forstals any issue about good vs bad and helps to reduce relatives going behind your back. There are things I have said no to, but I think not making a big deal about it makes the bad things seem less alluring and far less tempting than if you said all "blank" are  bad and forbidden then they are going to look to sneak, at least in my experience. Also, if you make eating good food fun and not a chore, there will be less allure to go to the bad foods as well. 

Two thumbs up

[SpinSpin]

lol little update on the little man tonight -- he announced that he didn't like carrots anymore, but ate 6 huge florets of broccoli after declaring he was a dinosaur and dinosaurs eat trees! :-) 

[krisuga]

SpinSpin, that's awesome!

[Munkers]

When it comes to talking about food, I think it's important to focus the conversation around health and not weight. As kiddo grows and is old enough to understand these things, he/she can learn about how protein helps us build muscle, fruits and vegetables gives us vitamins and minerals, fats help with hormone production, and water keeps us hydrated and is needed for everything to keep running. Start simple and build on the details as kiddo is interested and able to learn about them. Other foods outside of the Whole30 plan aren't "bad" foods, but they're foods that make your tummy hurt, give you a headache, make your joints hurt, or fill in the blank with your own reactions to different things. Kids pay attention to this sort of thing and they'll think about how different foods might make you feel yucky. And kiddos usually don't like to feel yucky.

 

I agree that baby-led weaning is a great way to help your little one learn about real food and getting kiddos into the kitchen with age-appropriate tasks helps encourage them to try new things. (Not to mention that it helps them learn the very important life skill of cooking!)

[Goob]

Another fan of baby led weaning!  I didn't really use it til the younger two kids, but I never fed ANY of them any of the rice/oat/etc cereals.

 

As far as foods, I was nervous about body image and food relationship with my oldest.  A girl to boot.

 

We did a red light, yellow light, green light concept.  Veggies and fruits- green light!  Eat them and often.  Yellow light- proceed with caution, not every meal-yogurt, "bars" or whatever kind, PB, etc and red light meaning that it is NOT an every day, or even every week, food.  The junk.  It is not forbidden, but it doesn't make us healthy and strong.

 

Those are the body image words we have used from day one- healthy and strong.

 

Then I had two boys and they will eat whatever for the most part and don't care. 

 

Now there is another girl in the mix... and the first one is going on 9 so we will be getting into more and more body image issues.  Fortunately for her, she has gained her daddy's family's long and lean gene.  And her favorite food is salad.  And she doesn't like candy. 

 

 

Outside of all of that, we live on a small farm so the kids are VERY clear on where their meat comes from and they put enough hours in the garden and canning and preserving to understand that as well!  Literally getting their hands dirty gives them a strong respect for the work that goes into the food  on their plate.