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Metrics are making me sad. Need encouragement.


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I just finished my second Whole30 in a row. Very proud of all my hard work - even stayed on board during a 12 day convention, cooking groceries from Whole Foods in my swanky hotel room!   

 

I don't know if I have really hit "tiger blood".  I am working on thyroid/adrenal issues with my (paleo, integrative) doc. My energy is better, not awesome.  Sleeping is still a work in progress.  I am COMPLETELY confused about exercise given the thyroid thing and am meeting with the doc next week to discuss. That part is a little erratic.

 

When I did my weights and measures on Day 60, the results were underwhelming.   I lost 5 pounds in this one - for a total of 10 pounds in two months.My measurements, which improved fairly dramatically the first 30 days, were the same to very slightly worse.  That was a huge bummer.  I know my clothes are fitting better, so I don't really get that

 

I know 5 lbs/month is "in range" for weight loss, but not really inspiring, given that I can't eat in restaurants or at friend's homes except with a lot of jiggering around, and I had to eat from an electric skillet in a hotel room when everyone else was out wining and dining. Now I'm whining.  But NO CHANGE in measurements in a month, when I have been very careful?  Ugh.

 

I know Whole 30 is not supposed to be Whole 365.  But at this rate it will take at least another 8 months to lose the remaining 40 pounds I need to take off.  That's a long time without a single taco or glass of wine.  I'm feeling rebellious.

 

I do think my "day 1" and "day 60" pics tell a better story, though I'm mortified to post them. 

 

Need some starch  - in my spine, not on my plate - to go another 30 days.

 

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You are upset about losing 10 lbs in two months? 10 lbs is AWESOME. 10 lbs means your body is in a hormonal place where it can let go of weight. 5 lbs consistently two months in a row means there is a good chance that you could lose several more pounds the next month and the next month and get this party going. You should be dancing.

 

That said. Your mindset right now is not where it needs to be to keep a sustainable loss long term. This rate of loss (and even the losses you have had so far) will only continue as long as you continue to eat this way. If you get to a magic number and then go back to how you ate before you will be right at this same place in a blink. 

 

So. Here is my advice: Don't do another whole30. Start trying to figure how you are going to LIVE. Would a glass of wine every six months be enough? Once per week? Start testing and thinking and working on figuring out what you need to make a lifestyle that you continue forever. It might mean you stop losing weight, or it might mean the weight loss gets slower, but don't worry. You have your entire life to keep nourishing your body and getting healthy. Your life doesn't wait to start until you get there. Your life is happening right now.

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Your life doesn't wait to start until you get there. Your life is happening right now.

 

Wise words, missmary.  That's a much more articulate way of saying what I was feeling.  I did not mean to imply that I want or intend to go back to the old ways, ever.  I am trying to find a way OTHER THAN either/or.  

 

Thanks for responding.

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I've been thinking about your responses, missmary and carlacci, and I'm feeling the need to reply.

 

I asked for encouragement and I got what felt like a condescending scolding.  I know that the point of Whole30 is life change.  That's why I'm doing it.  I described how hard I was working on it.  And I also described some of my frustrations.  I put out some information that I explained was a little risky to me, and there really was not any affirmation in response.  That's okay - you're not my mother, and I'm an adult.  But I didn't need a lecture.  I needed a small dose of compassion to renew my courage and commitment.  I know there's a "tough love" vibe about this program and I understand that it has to do with developing resolve and sticking to guidelines, but as I explained, I have been doing that. 

 

I may or may not continue with the Guidelines, but I won't ask for encouragement again.

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10 lbs in two months?  I would have been ecstatic :)  And the pictures are pretty drastically different (especially the side shots).

 

8 months seems like a pretty realistic time frame to lose 40lbs for a person who is (a) not a 20 something male (b  ) not 100+ lbs over weight.  

 

But I guess the more important question is are you happier eating this way?  Do you feel good nourishing your body rather than giving it 100 calorie snack packs?  No one says you have to do a Whole8months.  Go out to eat with friends, have a glass of wine from time to time.  But if you LIKE to eat real, good food that is GOOD for you, do that all the other times!  You've probably established some really good patterns in the last two months - just stick with those things 90% of the time and I bet you'll make some steady progress towards your goal.  

 

I know the mods on here (cough, Tom) can say some things that are tough to take via written text when you can't quite tell what the intent of the "harshness" is, but I think Miss Mary was really saying "you are on a roll! keep going!  with a glass of wine from time to time!".

 

Good luck :)

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I asked for encouragement and I got what felt like a condescending scolding. 

 

 

I'm really sorry you heard it that way, because that wasn't where I was coming from at all. The mindset work is the hardest work you have to do on the whole30. It is not easy to find the place of balance where you feel good about what is going into your body and you don't feel deprived. I was just encouraging you to get started figuring that part out. I thought you were ready to move on from the strict rules of the whole30 and start riding your own bike. It's natural to rebel against the strict rules and want freedom to choose for yourself. Instead of fighting that and forcing yourself to do another whole30, I wanted you to start figuring out how you want to live and find that balance for yourself. Where in that sentiment do you hear scolding or condescension? What would encouragement have looked like?

 

littleg has a great point in that sometimes it is very hard to read tone in text on the internet. Please know that all of the moderators (yes, even Tom) are rooting for you here. We want to see you succeed in the long term. Here is a great article direct from Melissa and Dallas about how to make choices when you are not on a whole30. Everybody's balance will be different, but it might do a better job than I did at explaining a possible way forward. http://whole9life.com/2011/04/whole9s-guide-to-nutritional-off-roading/.

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Thanks for staying in the conversation with me, missmary and littleg.  It is helpful for me to hash this out, because this whole nutrition AND community thing matters to me.  I agree that it is really hard to hear tone in text, and I will accept that "what i heard is not what you said".

 

Since you asked, I'll elaborate a  bit on what what was happening on my end (though it is fixed now.) I suppose that i reacted to being told how I should feel instead of having my actual feeling acknowledged and then maybe some other options discussed.  

 

That said. Your mindset right now is not where it needs to be to keep a sustainable loss long term. This rate of loss (and even the losses you have had so far) will only continue as long as you continue to eat this way. If you get to a magic number and then go back to how you ate before you will be right at this same place in a blink. 

 

I knew that.  That's what I was writing for help with.  So it felt like a criticism. The condescending part was telling me that if I get to a "magic number" -i.e. healthy weight - and then go back to the old ways, the old weight/unhealthiness will come back.  I'm well aware of that!  That's part of the frustration of what feels like a slow recovery.  It FEELS (not necessarily completely rationally, but reinforced by the ironclad nature of the Whole30 program) like one false step jeopardizes my new-found health and imperils my goals.    So I guess what I was looking for was guidance on beginning the offroading without accidentally driving off the edge of the Grand Canyon. The chart is great!  I will use that.

 

I want to say again, I'm not ranting or arguing here, just filling in the blanks as you asked.  That was my thought process at the time.  When I'm down, I'm not as tough or rational as I am most of the time.  And it's hard for me to admit I'm down.  So I probably set myself up.

 

I have also just gotten confirmation from my doc that I have some pretty gnarly thyroid/adrenal issues to address, and that's obviously a factor too, so I'll be starting my offroading by doing some specialized protein shakes for breakfast - at least for a little while - and readjusting the macronutrient ratios a bit. I'm optimistic that will help with a lot of things  - though a bit nervous about the non-whole-food shake thing and increasing evening carbs a bit.  But I've learned on the Whole30 a number of important things - especially, if it doesn't work, adjust it! 

 

thanks again for hanging in with me.

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Thank you for sharing more of your thought process. Although each individual person is so different, it definitely helps to understand better how things might be perceived on the other side of the computer. best of luck to you in your off-roading.

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"I am trying to find a way OTHER THAN either/or. "

 

I think this is an awesome place to be.  I totally get the "wait, I worked so hard and got... THIS?!?" sensation.  I have definitely had that one myself.  And for me, it's been a very long journey.  My life was fantastic and I was in the best shape of my life fifteen years ago.  It was total chaos a decade ago (no really -- the whole thing fell apart), insane five years ago, and exhausting two years ago.  So now that I am finally in a place where my stress levels are actually low and I can actually make progress on enjoying living life, I want all the goods Right This Minute.  So far it's not really working that way.  

 

But I can see the muscles in my legs for the first time in more than ten years.  I got enough sleep last night.  I had fantastic and healthy food yesterday.  I got to work out AND go for a walk with my husband yesterday.  And I keep working and learning how to live a totally awesome life for me. 

 

Keep going.  It sounds to me like everything you're feeling and doing is absolutely in the right direction -- even the parts where you're annoyed and upset.  It's okay.  It gets better.  Just keep going.

 

ThyPeace, notes that her Whole30 efforts are part of a larger life-change effort.

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Thank you, ThyPeace (great name).  I'm laughing at myself looking back over these posts.  When I get cranky, apparently I get really cranky.  Sorry, everybody!  

 

If I had to synthesize all the advice and put it in my own words, it would sound something like this:  Find the place where what you are eating and how you are living is as healthy as humanly possible, and sustainable for you.  Over time, your body will conform to that level of health - fitness, weight, energy,all the rest.  It may take a while.  It will probably not all be perfectly smooth sailing.  Do the best you can - you are doing a great job; keep it up - and have patience.  

 

What I HEARD was - "hey, it's a marathon; buck up."  I HATE running!  The idea of a marathon makes me want to sit down and bite the runners in the knees.  I mean, I like walking and weight lifting and other things, but it just happens that a marathon is my idea of hell on earth.  It's okay that other people like them - it just hit me like seriously bad news.  Maybe "hey, it's a regatta - tie your topsiders" would have worked better (not that I've been on a sailboat in 20 years, but it sounds more fun). 

 

Anyway, the news from the doc is that the thyroid/adrenal thing is in fact a problem, and we are working on it.  That should help everything.  I'm working a lot on sleep, and realizing that I have a very ingrained habit of cheating myself in that department.  The "prescription" for all of that involves being outside more in the morning and that is good.  It is hard, putting this all together!  But not impossible. I think I'm going to like it a lot.

 

I can tell I've come a long way when I got home past 8 last night, starved, and my crashed-and-burned emergency dinner was a can of sardines, a zapped small sweet potato, and a handful of leftover kale.   THAT is a change!   And I felt great.    And it actually tasted pretty good, even without my beloved Paleo sauces.  

 

So thanks for the support, and I'm sorry about the crankiness.   

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.... Sardines.  You are a brave, crazy, amazing person.  

 

And hey -- if there are thyroid and adrenal issues, thank goodness there is a doctor on your side!  Getting those things treated is really important.  And -- I would be throwing tantrums too if I were feeling as low as you were.

 

ThyPeace, would rather run a marathon, bad knees and all, than ever be out in a sailboat.  Been there, done that, for years.  Gales on the Great Lakes.  Cold, terrified, and wet.  Or, alternatively, no wind at all so breathing diesel fumes and broiling in the sun.  No thanks.  

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Nuthatch Rancher.

I must commend you on being an absolutely fabulous person! We all get cranky and low, but it is a good few who come back to the 'advice' that they didn't appreciate and re-read it with new eyes. I loved that!

It's not really a marathon... it's more like a journey... I"ve been doing this for going on three years now... it's often those moments that you look in the mirror or wake up feeling refreshed that you realize how far you've come... when we are in the thick of our own battles, it's hard not to look to the 'end' and want to be there... it's when you realize that you've been improving the whole time and there's no discernable 'end' that you realize how amazing you are and how far you've come.

I have a terrible bad case of sunstroke (watching the Vancouver Pride Parade in 30 degree heat with no hat on this red head) so I hope I"m making sense and you're hearing the cheering and rah-rah-rah encouragement to keep going and realize you're an amazing person who is doing amazing things. If what you heard was me being mean, then stick your tongue out and me and give me raspberries and then know that I MEANT 'rah rah boom pish pah'! Go girl!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can totally relate! I've had both adrenal and thyroid issues, and untreated, they can be killer. I'm really happy you have a doc that acknowledges your issues and wants to help; I had doctors that refused to check mine, even though I was doing the whole30, running, walking, and swimming every week, and had no weight loss for months (even though I had 40+ lbs. to lose). And my hair was falling out, and I was constantly sleepy. Finally got checked by another doctor when I got pregnant, and it's been night and day being on synthroid. :)

That being said, I completed my 2nd W30 mid-July, and have been sticking to the plan since then, but allowing myself the occasional treat. My weight loss results were underwhelming, but they've suddenly picked up in a big way! It may just take some of us longer to get our engines revved, but hang in there! You really are doing great, and you'll be able to look back and say, "I'm so awesome, look what I've accomplished. And I'm not done! Just see where I go next!" I never thought I'd be a runner, but I now run 3+ miles a couple times per week, and ran a 8:14 mile for the first time yesterday! We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. :)

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Nuthatch - just to clarify my much earlier comment - I hear your frustration, and crankiness. And yes I come from that place too.  

 

You see my weight loss stalled 7 months after my first whole 30.  I lost 35lbs in 7 months (that roughly about a pound a week) and then stayed. That was 3 years ago.  I am still considered overweight/obese for my height.  Mind you my body composition has changed numerous times as I change things up etc. but that dang number on the scale doesn't go below 225. I have gotten to the point where I have given up on that number.   Is my body happy?  Are my hormones in balance?  Is my skin clear? Am I sleeping well?  How are my energy levels?  How is my digestive system doing?  Am I suffering from chronic pain?

 

The comment of it's a marathon (I dislike running as well) and not a race - is me speaking from my personal experience.  I have chosen to make health, not the scale my long term goal.   Is it frustrating at times?  You bet!!  I need to remind myself of this too - in moments where I feel sorry for myself (hey it happens) on how limited I have become in what I can eat (generally eat lowish FODMAP, and lean on the side of AI protocol)

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The comment of it's a marathon (I dislike running as well) and not a race - is me speaking from my personal experience.  I have chosen to make health, not the scale my long term goal.   Is it frustrating at times?  You bet!!  I need to remind myself of this too - in moments where I feel sorry for myself (hey it happens) on how limited I have become in what I can eat (generally eat lowish FODMAP, and lean on the side of AI protocol)

wet-kiss-smiley.gif?1292867699  Carlaccini.  You are appreciated.   You don't drink coffee,coffee-bath-smiley.gif?1292867572  do you.  When I finally gave it all up...everything started falling into place.  coffee2-smiley.gif?1292867572

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Hi Meadowlily - Thank you!

 

Dropping the coffee is kind of a work in progress.    I notice I do better without it - but I am finding that it's very similar to my love affair with sweet things.  I give myself permission to have 1 cup of espresso a week.  (Sunday after lunch with my in-laws)  And I enjoy it very much.  I would consider getting romantic with it if I was alone.   :D But I've noticed that after that my brain craves it...  

 

My brain goes - coffee?  Sure? COF FEEEEEE!  Coffee!  Cof FEEEEEEE.  I am finding it a bit amusing at times.

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Wow!  Huge success for dropping it then.  Most days I used to drink only one cup.  Occasionally 2.  Very occasionally 3 - but then I felt that I was drinking too much and my whole body was just a buzzing.

 

Now I am finding the days that I go without it are better than the days with.  I do good quality decaf occasionally through the week.  I have never been a tea person - so tea isn't a good substitute for me.  I can do cold turkey on so many things - but coffee - I can't get myself to rip the band aid off yet.

 

Sorry Nuthatch for hijacking this thread to talk about all things coffee

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