Relax. Eat. Repeat.

[Noelle]

I finished back-to-back Whole30s on July 31, stopped logging, and promptly resumed some old bad habits. Logging is extremely helpful when it comes to addressing my thoughts and habits surrounding food.

I have another post-Whole30 log somewhere, but it's a mess. Lots of anxiety. It's also focused on healing my chronic back pain which is no longer an issue! I read Dr. Sarno's book Healing Back Pain last year, and it turned my life around.

My goals now:

• support healthy hormones in general, but especially boost my progesterone as naturally as possible (and get my period back).

• reverse the osteoporosis in my spine.

• heal my digestive system.

• build a solid, sustainable, sane relationship with food!

***

Unfortunately, I mucked up my reintroduction period with some not-worth-it treats. I plan to complete another Whole30 with a complete, as-written reintroduction period soon; I've done reintro properly once, but I had preconceived notions about which foods were okay for my body and which were not. I also didn't reintroduce as "cleanly" as I would like (gluten-free cookies, anyone?).

For now, though, I'm taking a break from the strict rules of Whole30. I'm eating low-FODMAP for my SIBO symptoms, and that seems to be going well.

[Noelle]

- Monday -

B: 8 oz mug of broth, 2 salmon cakes, 2 eggs cooked with green peppers and ghee, pumpkin

Almond milk matcha latte

L: "hidden liver" meatloaf, romaine, beefsteak tomato, garlic-infused olive oil

Cantaloupe and blueberries

S: homemade kombucha

D: baked chicken with curry spices, butternut squash, ghee

+

Ballet class tonight was tough. The combinations were a little on the advanced side, but mostly I just felt phenomially stiff, sluggish, and tired. I really wanted a "comfort snack" when I got home, but acknowledged that I wasn't truly hungry, and reminded myself that "I don't eat after dinner."

Replacing "can't" in my food lexicon with "don't" has been a remarkable experience. It has the same effect as "I'm choosing not to," but it's more concise and feels weightier. There's no arguing with it. "I can't eat that" becomes a battle: "Oh, c'mon, yes you can!" No, I can't. "Sure you can! Just a little..."

But there's nowhere to go (in my mind) with "I don't eat that." It just is.

[NY2LA2MONTREAL]

Hi Noelle, thanks for posting your menu....please explain your recipe for PUMPKIN ALMOND MILK MATCHA LATTE ( I have the Matcha Green Tea) -- give me the measurements - the drink sounds DELISH

[NY2LA2MONTREAL]

One more thing, I would change the words from Don't and Can't to what you CAN eat...focus on what CAN eat.....I hope that helps.

[Noelle]

Please explain your recipe for PUMPKIN ALMOND MILK MATCHA LATTE ( I have the Matcha Green Tea) -- give me the measurements - the drink sounds DELISH

Hi! I don't actually make a matcha latte with pumpkin—but that might be good. That's just where the line-break fell. For an almond milk matcha latte, I heat 2 fl oz of water, whisk that with 1/2 tsp matcha powder in a mug, and then add 8 fl oz steamed almond milk. You can froth it with a milk frother if you have one to get some foam. It's delicious with coconut milk as well!

As for focusing on what I "can" have...I believe I can have anything I want at any time. No food is truly off-limits. I don't have any life-threatening allergies, so I can eat anything I desire. However, I know some things mess me up big time, so I don't consume them.

This isn't my approach to day-to-day life; I'm not going around saying' "I don't eat this, I don't eat that..." I focus on the things I like to eat, and the things I know make me healthier.

[Noelle]

- Tuesday -

B: 16 oz homemade kombucha

3 eggs, a tiny bit of leftover roast beef, and kale all cooked in ghee

Almond milk matcha latte

L: "hidden liver" meatloaf, roasted carrots, blueberries

S: 16 oz homemade kombucha

D: deconstructed barbecue pork fried rice:

• boneless pork ribs with homemade (sugar-free) barbecue sauce, ginger, and coconut aminos

• sautéed carrots, green beans, and scallions (green parts only)

• black rice

+

My arms and legs felt like lead this morning—a sure sign of under-eating carbohydrate for my activity level. So I decided to experiment with rice at dinnertime.

One thing I'm finding challenging with low-FODMAP and SIBO-conscious eating is getting enough carbohydrate. I've been especially mindful of my carb-consumption now that I'm really trying to get my cycle sorted out. Unfortunately, sweet potatoes and yams exacerbate my digestive symptoms. White potatoes make me want to eat all the potatoes...and then Eat All the Things. Winter squash is wonderful, but not nearly as carb-dense as potatoes. I'm planning to test rutabaga and beet soon. In the meantime, there's rice.

After my generous serving of black rice at dinner, I didn't feel the need to go back for more, and I didn't have the Eat All the Things urge. I'm happy about that!

Except for the issue with my limbs in the morning, today was okay energy-wise. I drank a ton of water—at least 3 liters, maybe more. My bowels were unhappy about something early in the day, and they're a little "bubbly" now, 90 minutes post-dinner. I'm contemplating lifting some weights or going for a walk before bed.

Update: I did the Ballet Beautiful Classic Bridge Series (15 minutes), and then knitted and listened to podcasts before bed. Also forgot to mention that I walked for about 30 minutes in the morning, pushing my daughter in the stroller.

[Noelle]

- Wednesday -

B: "hidden liver" meatloaf topped with a fried egg, spinach

4 oz kombucha

L: salmon cakes, cucumbers, grapes, cantaloupe, cashews (half a Trader Joe's "Just a Handful" pouch)

S: cashews (other half), 16 oz kombucha

D: beef-and-liver burgers, butternut squash, shredded romaine, mustard, spoonful of strawberries (leftover from flavoring homemade kombucha)

(1 hour open-level ballet class)

10 oz coconut water during/after ballet

+

No apparent ill effects from the rice—yay! My energy has been pretty good considering my daughter's crazy sleep schedule (up between 4:00 and 4:30).

Ballet was challenging but so much fun! Except for pirouettes. Pirouettes are my nemesis. I don't think turning is the problem; I think it's trying to hold my huge body up on just my ankle. It feels...unstable, to say the least.

[Noelle]

- Thursday -

B: rutabaga and green pepper had with 3 eggs, handful of almonds, almond milk matcha latte

L: slow-cooked shredded chicken with kale, coconut mayo, and white rice

Lots of kombucha

S: a few sips of fresh coconut water straight from the coconut and a small piece of coconut meat (my daughter wanted to buy a coconut at the market—this was definitely a "just for fun" snack!)

D: "Ultimate Taco Meat" from Frugal Paleo made with ground turkey (and green onion greens instead of yellow onion), shredded romaine, a few bites of home-fermented pickle

*

With a few exceptions, it was a horrible day, stress-wise. My youngest was into everything and anything she could get her hands on. My eldest seems to have inherited my tender digestive system. Without going into detail, I can say I spent a lot of time cleaning up. And after saying I wouldn't bake anything for my daughter's birthday (cupcakes have been ordered), I decided to whip up a little four-serving a.k.a. "our-family-size" Paleo cake, so I stayed up too late working on that and wrapping presents.

[Noelle]

I woke up with stiff fingers, toes, and an itty-bitty bit of hip pain. I see what you did there, rice! (Or was it the coconut meat? Or, you know, all the stress!?)

I really must find ways to up my carbs without grain-ing myself all the time. Rutabaga seems okay. Maybe I'll give white potatoes another chance.

[Tina Marie]

But there's nowhere to go (in my mind) with "I don't eat that." It just is.

 

 

Love this !! do you mind if I 'borrow' it !    that really puts a stop to the "YES you can...just have a tiny bit - it won't hurt you "  just like you stated.

[Tina Marie]

B: "hidden liver" meatloaf topped with a fried egg, spinach



 

Can you share what Hidden Liver meatloaf is ???

[Noelle]

Hi, Tina Marie! You can absolutely borrow the "I don't eat that" technique! It really helps.

As for the meatloaf, I was inspired by this recipe. I made a few swaps (green onion for white onion), and I used all ground beef, no pork, because that's what I had.

[Noelle]

I off-roaded a little on Friday for my daughter's actual birthday (Paleo birthday cake with decidedly non-Paleo frosting), and a lot yesterday for her birthday party. Yesterday, I woke up at 3:45 AM with excruciating low back and hip pain. The pain actually woke me up, and it hurt to turn over in bed. I thought that was interesting, because my only off-road adventure on Friday was a modest piece of cake. But the icing was super-sugary, and I'm guessing what I'm feeling is some serious inflammation from sugar.

Almost none of what I ate was worth it—and I ate a lot of it anyway, because I was disappointed that it wasn't as good as I had hoped, and I felt cheated out of a treat!

A few things I learned:

• it's hard to follow Melissa's One-Bite Rule when I was really excited for a treat.

• it's very hard to follow MOBR when I'm hungry.

• eating not-worth-it foods anyway starts up the negative set-talk machine.

• almost nothing sweet tastes as good as I think it will.* Seattle Chocolates dark chocolate truffle does. While shared with my sweetheart and savored, so worth it.

*Maybe it's because I ate Whole30 for 60 days this time, but I was shocked by how the homemade cake icing just tasted like "sweet" (no depth to it at all) and "pink" (even though there was just a drop of food coloring in it). And the bakery icing tasted like vegetable shortening (disgusting—and so disappointing, because it looked so pretty!).

***

I'm pretty sore this morning, in both the good sense (I worked out yesterday) and the inflammation sense. I'm following strict Whole30 for the next 10-14 days to get the gunk out. Then I'll do a formal reintroduction of dairy.

I have a vacation coming up in two months, and I want to test a few foods properly so I can off-road appropriately.

The BEST part of this whole experience? I'm not beating myself up over any of it. I ate some not-worth-it things. So what? I'm moving on. I've had a liter of water already this morning, and I'm about to prep a veggie-ful breakfast.

[GoJo09]

I off-roaded a little on Friday for my daughter's actual birthday (Paleo birthday cake with decidedly non-Paleo frosting), and a lot yesterday for her birthday party. Yesterday, I woke up at 3:45 AM with excruciating low back and hip pain. The pain actually woke me up, and it hurt to turn over in bed. I thought that was interesting, because my only off-road adventure on Friday was a modest piece of cake. But the icing was super-sugary, and I'm guessing what I'm feeling is some serious inflammation from sugar.

Almost none of what I ate was worth it—and I ate a lot of it anyway, because I was disappointed that it wasn't as good as I had hoped, and I felt cheated out of a treat!

 

 

OMG lightbulb moment - I ate two cupcakes yesterday afternoon (and I don't even like cupcakes!) and woke up in the middle of the night sweaty and with inexplicable lower back pain! An interesting connection that I'll have to watch out for - once could just be coincidence. 

 

BTW, I followed up with a good breakfast this morning, and then Oreos and caramel slice for morning tea... I don't know that I'll ever be able to follow the One Bite Rule, but I certainly shouldn't be following the 10 Oreo Rule!

[Noelle]

I ate two cupcakes yesterday afternoon (and I don't even like cupcakes!) and woke up in the middle of the night sweaty and with inexplicable lower back pain! An interesting connection that I'll have to watch out for - once could just be coincidence.

I don't think it's a coincidence. I get night sweats with too much sugar, too. Something to do with hormones, and blood sugar bottoming out in the middle of the night...

And Oreos, don't get me started. I don't like them, and I will still eat a whole box of them! They're the ultimate example of a food-like substance designed to set off the kind of fireworks in your brain that make you want to Eat Every Single One. But they're not that tasty to begin with! It's crazy food-science, for sure!

[Tina Marie]

I don't think it's a coincidence. I get night sweats with too much sugar, too. Something to do with hormones, and blood sugar bottoming out in the middle of the night...

And Oreos, don't get me started. I don't like them, and I will still eat a whole box of them! They're the ultimate example of a food-like substance designed to set off the kind of fireworks in your brain that make you want to Eat Every Single One. But they're not that tasty to begin with! It's crazy food-science, for sure!

  I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE oreos !!  until after my 1st w30... I wanted to try the red velvet ones -  couldn't find those so I bought the regular ones..  had 3 cookies  (not worth it )  and within 1 hr - had a gurgly stomach and basically felt like crap.  Brought the rest of the bag to work.  Never will touch them again.  They are on the top of the Fake Food pyramid !!

 

thanks for sharing the meatloaf recipe - I used to read her blogs all the time and I know I saw that recipe once before.  I like liver so I think that might be pretty good.  What type of liver do you use ?   I thought I would try chicken first.

[GoJo09]

I don't think it's a coincidence. I get night sweats with too much sugar, too. Something to do with hormones, and blood sugar bottoming out in the middle of the night...

And Oreos, don't get me started. I don't like them, and I will still eat a whole box of them! They're the ultimate example of a food-like substance designed to set off the kind of fireworks in your brain that make you want to Eat Every Single One. But they're not that tasty to begin with! It's crazy food-science, for sure!

 

I've been having night sweats pretty frequently the past few weeks, but I hadn't really thought about food causing it. I haven't been eating too far off track, except my almond milk lattes, which have rice syrup in them - such a negligible amount though, but it could be the cause, I guess. Will have a think about what else it could be.

 

I like the idea of Oreos (the crunchy biscuit with the creamy middle), but you're right, they're not actually that nice.

[Noelle]

I just had an incredibly stressful morning, and decided to drown my frustration in two bowls of muesli: cashews, gluten-free rolled oats, cacao nibs, maple syrup, and coconut. It was magical. Except that I feel so frustrated with myself for: 1. eating out of stress (and also hunger—my hunger wasn't at zero, to be fair), 2. Not sticking with the program, especially since I want to get some good, clean introductions in before my trip in October.

I know part of the problem is that I've been feeling very restricted, even as I off-road. When off-plan foods are only so-so, I feel cheated. When I eat too few carbs, I crave them like crazy and I worry about my sex hormones. When I eat higher-carb, I still crave carbs, I feel hungrier (and no amount of fat seems to help turn on the "fed" switch), and I worry about my gut health.

I'm tired of meat and low-FODMAP vegetables. Some new foods and recipes would probably help, but I don't have the energy to play around with food. In fact, I don't want to be in the kitchen at all.

[Noelle]

What type of liver do you use?

Just chicken liver, so far. I'm interested in trying calf's liver, but I must confess to being a little wary of it. I love the idea of eating lots of organ meats, but it's not my reality yet.

[Tina Marie]

I agree with there are times when it is hard to be in the kitchen.  You  have been doing so well - don't be so hard on yourself -  when you have one of those days, own it - it happened and move on.  Take 1 meal at a time.  And come here - lots of support out here !    When I get down on myself - I post in my log and then I can read what I wrote - and learn and move on. 

 

Good luck !!

[Noelle]

Thanks, Tina Marie! I'm already feeling somewhat better. I just processed some things in a "note to self" kind of format, and I determined the following:

• restriction of any kind is a slippery slope for me. On one hand, I like black and white rules; they take some of the "work" away from me (is it Whole30-compliant? It's not? Don't eat it). On the other hand, I want to rebel against rules SO HARD, because that's the kind of Bad Kid I am, but mostly because of my history with "good" and "bad" foods, diets, eating disorders, and so on.

• getting off-track is easy; getting "on-track" is hard. It's pushing the boulder up the hill. Getting off-track is letting the boulder go and the combined exhilaration and dread of watching it pick up speed as it rolls back down the hill.

• sugar is the worst. No, really. It makes me hate my life. As in, I actually want to run away from home the day after I eat sugar.

• I really, really wish everyone in my family would/could eat the same foods. ONE meal at mealtime: the end. That sounds heavenly.

• something I ate yesterday inflamed my skin. Oats or soy, would be my guesses.

• in order to get back on track and stay there, I need a few days of really delectable Whole30 food. Stuff I LOVE. Not just whatever's lying around or seems healthy and like I "should" be eating it.

***

Also, muesli for lunch + four hours = not at all hungry, but dying for a nap.

[Noelle]

I found this bit of wisdom in a different thread:

I'm shortchanging myself carbs and my body is finding them.

THIS! This is what's been happening with me, partly because I struggle to eat enough and not feel like it's too much (i.e. gluttonous, improper, unfeminine), and partly because I'm worried about my digestive issues and eating the "right" things. With the latter, erring on the side of caution often leads to under-eating carbs, or just under-eating period.

[Noelle]

- Wednesday -

Bear and I had a talk last night about how hard I've been struggling with All The Things. He gave me some wise advice that basically boiled down to: stop tweaking. Don't worry too much about carbs, or FODMAPs, or second-guessing hunger. Do what I know works: Eat moderate fat, moderate carbohydrate, plenty of vegetables, plenty of water. Move, stretch, play with the kids. Remember that my body is beautiful and worthy right now.

Everyone, including my earlybird girl, slept in this morning. It was so bizarre!

A.M.: half-decaf coffee

Brunch: Cracklin' Chicken (Nom Nom Paleo), green beans, sweet potato, avocado, sip of kombucha

P.M.: 16 fl oz strawberry kombucha

Dinner: ground buffalo, a few bites of leftover turkey burger, shredded romaine, salsa verde, extra-virgin olive oil, mug of bone broth

Pre-WO: slow-cooked turkey wing meat

(1 hour ballet class)

Post-WO: canned pink salmon and baked sweet potato

[Tina Marie]

excellent advice !!

[GoJo09]

- Wednesday -

Bear and I had a talk last night about how hard I've been struggling with All The Things. He gave me some wise advice that basically boiled down to: stop tweaking. Don't worry too much about carbs, or FODMAPs, or second-guessing hunger. Do what I know works: Eat moderate fat, moderate carbohydrate, plenty of vegetables, plenty of water. Move, stretch, play with the kids. Remember that my body is beautiful and worthy right now.

 

Very wise! We sometimes feel like we need to keep changing things up, but that is just exhausting!