fmr_sailor

My name is Erica, and I am a Whole30 flunkie

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I have attempted to complete a Whole30 five times since July 1st. Here is a summary of those tries:

1: 3 days, made it through dinner of day 4

2: 6 days, made it through dinner of day 7

3: 7 days, made it through dinner of day 8

4: 14 days, made it through lunch of day 15

5: 1 pathetic day, made it through dinner of day 2

I have read It Starts With Food and other Paleo books that were listed on the Whole9 website. I have actively participated in the forums, recognizing the "power of the group." I just can't seem to stay the course. I feel physically great eating Whole30-style. I love the foods. I love the freedom from having to eat every 2-3 hours. But I have grown so frustrated with myself and confused by my seeming inability to finish this thing that so many have....many more than once. I am a very dedicated person who works hard at the things I care about. But the Whole30 has really thrown me for a loop, and I am at a loss.

I'm asking for your opinion. With this track record would you step away from the Whole30 for a while and revisit it later? Or continue to restart, maybe with a different perspective? In the end, I know I'm the one that has to decide and do it. But I am truly interested in your insight. I thank you in advance.

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what was the situation when you broke your whole30? Was it similar each time, or different?

 

I would study whatever triggered you to stop, and, if doing a complete whole30 is important to you, figure out other ways to respond when these situations turn up again.

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Sailor,  

I think there's a good chance you've answered your own questions.  Perhaps, a break would be best at this particular time.  The Whole 30 is a judgment free zone.  There's no way I could point a single finger without having four fingers pointing back at myself.  If you take a breather and clean the slate, you might be ready again down the road...and you may be ready again, tomorrow.  :rolleyes: 

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You know, I have to hand it to you for keeping on starting over. I can totally understand being disheartened.

 

I had a similar thought to others. Is it the same thing that thing keeps putting you off track? Like a specific kind of food, or socializing, or eating out? Perhaps make a specific plan that addresses that?

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I hope you don't genuinely feel or see yourself as a failure or flunkie. I see someone who's really determined - like 5x determined. You've just hit a wall and haven't figured how to get past it.

 

I agree with missmary about spending some time to figure out what might be some potential triggers or scenarios. Otherwise, starting again only to stop shortly thereafter is a bit too similar to our unhealthy relationship with yo-yo dieting and food. And it's the complete opposite of what the whole 30 is about: resetting so you can have a better, healthier emotional *and* physical relationship with your body. :)

 

I recall from previous posts that you're very active, which is awesome by the way. High five! But I wonder if that might also be a potential source of frustration. Being on whole30 is a shock to the system and there's no way your body can deal with whole 30 *and* all the usual load of workouts. FWIW, when I did my whole 30 I had to constantly repeat a refrain to myself everytime I struggled with a workout that would "normally" not be a problem: "This is not your body rejecting whole 30 or being weak. This is your body transforming itself." I had to put whole 30 as my number one priority - and let everything else fall and adjust around it.

 

Best of luck!

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Not being able to get through this is all in your head, you are fully capable of doing this you just got to figure out what's stopping you mentally. You are obviously very determined and you will get there when you are ready, just don't give up! You just have to step back and think this through!

Never ever, ever give up!

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I agree with the others in that I believe in order to succeed you need to take a step back & take time to re-evaluate why you started this process in the first place, and to review the events/meals/thoughts that led to your demise. As Evaq has said continuing as you have been is only serving to develop a new unhealthy relationship with food.

What you don't mention here is that you are a WW Leader, where the obsession is with points & weigh-ins, and I clearly recall saying in one of my first ever replies to you that for this to work you would need to leave everything you knew about weight control at the door. You eventually removed the 'WW Leader' from your signature, but I don't believe that you ever removed it mentally.

Perhaps it's time you took a real break from WW too.

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Have you read "Wheat Belly" or heard the author talk about it? He says wheat is as addictive as crack. Maybe you need a more gentle approach to the whole30 instead of going cold turkey. Here is an interview with Pete Evans of the Paleo Way and Dr. William Davis. 

I hope this help. 

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I love what evaq said: I had to put whole 30 as my number one priority - and let everything else fall and adjust around it.

 

I am a travel writer by profession. I purposely picked a month where I could be ALL IN with Whole30, meaning a month with no travel. I declined dinner dates. I have been a hermit. My family has wholeheartedly supported me. I could ask for a better "set up" for tackling this challenge (and it has been a challenge).

 

You need to ditch Weight Watchers - with the weighing and measuring and point counting - if you really want to succeed at Whole30.

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But you did weigh, and although it was only the once it was clear from your log that you did so because you read about another member gaining weight which made you panic....

 

And although you weren't counting points you were very obviously very conscious of the amount of food/fat you were eating - even when you felt better for it.

This makes me think that you are struggling to shift from the WW mind set, and the two programs really don't work hand in hand - ones focus being on weight, the other on health.

 

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I would also look back over your attempts and count the successes you've had - and there have been many!   Make a list and study it. Make another list thinking back over what happens when you go off the W30 (both why, and how you feel physically/emotionally) and see the differences.

 

I agree with the others. Step back and really think over the various things that threw you into a tailspin, or even into a full-blown panic and sent you off the Whole 30. Once you get a handle on that, and are able to internalize this does NOT need or want weight loss mentality, but a health-conscious mentality I think you'll find success. 

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I'm so sorry love...you have had a tough ride! I'd take a break from whole30 and we but start taking baby steps towards a whole30 that will be easier...maybe one thing a week? Then you may find doing another go less stressful in a couple of months?

If there's anything you need (or just to rant) let me know xx

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I guess I've been in "weight loss mode" for sooooo long that it's hard to get out of that.

First-off, I'm rooting for you SO HARD. I hope you know it and feel the love.

Second, I think you hit the nail on the head, here. Correct me if I'm wrong, but WW leaders get to be leaders by successfully losing weight on the program. At least, that's how it was when I was a member. My guess is that because WW worked for you in the past, and you lost the weight and kept it off, any departure from the WW mind-set feels like throwing caution to the wind (at best) and a sure-fire recipe to get right back to where you were when you joined WW in the first place (at worst).

On one of my Whole30s, I gained six pounds. That seemed like so much weight at the time. I wasn't underweight, but I was coming from a very controlled/controlling place with food. Whole30 said I could Eat The Paleo Things, and I Ate ALL The Paleo Things. I was devastated. But that weight came off again on its own when my body figured out I wasn't going to starve it again.

On my recent back-to-back 30s, I gained enough "weight" after the first two weeks that I needed to buy new pants. (I didn't weigh myself, but my clothes told the undeniable truth: I was larger than I'd been.) That "weight" came off too, and those bigger pants are now too loose again.

The thing I am having to come to terms with—and one of the things that has made it so dang hard for me to ride my own bike—is that gaining a little weight is not the end of the world. It's really not. Even if I need bigger pants for a while.

I'm also learning that maintenance—and especially maintaining health and wellness—is much, much harder than losing weight ever was. In part, because a person has to get out of the weight-loss headspace and into a more body-nurturing thought-process. And that's not easy! The culture certainly doesn't support loving your body into health. If you've lost weight, the culture says, Great! Now lose even more—or look "fitter" or "more toned." And don't you dare GAIN any weight! We wouldn't let anyone treat our children that way, but we do it to ourselves when we hang on to this notion that the shape of our bodies somehow makes us more or less worthwhile.

I'm going to step off my soapbox now. But I hope you see how much support you have here, and how much you are not, in any way a failure.

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I want to thank you all for offering your opinion, advice, and perspective. I have grown to really appreciate this community. You all have truly been a blessing to me!

Your prognostication, Sailor.  I'm all ears. 

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Hi Fmr-Sailor!

 

I too am rooting very hard for you!  You're so committed to being healthy and that's just a joy to see!

 

I read this article the other day from a blogger I used to follow... she talked about how she had lost 135 pounds from watching calories and running... and how she made the jump to realize that she didn't have to KEEP RUNNING to keep the weight off... maybe it's worth a read to you to understand that you don't need to keep WW'ing in order to stay slim... and that health comes in a lot of forms and not all of them are measured by the size of your pants...

 

This is a three part series and I would encourage you to read through the whole thing... she's quite funny and maybe something in there will touch you to help break the 'addiction' to WW... from what I understand of WW, having never done it but knowing people who have, it can be a very very tough mental barrier to break.

 

http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2011/04/04/my-exercise-history-part-1/

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Right now I'm reading The Power of Habit and examining my habit of wanting to weigh myself.

The cue: I feel like I'm eating too much.

The routine: I get on the scale to see if the number is moving up or down.

The reward: I get "feedback" on whether or not I am fine eating the foods/amounts I am. OR I need to cut back a little bit on the amount of food I'm eating.

Thoughts about with what to replace the routine of weighing myself within a Whole30 context?? Maybe asking a mod to check out my food log..... Any other ideas for me? Thanks!

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Right now I'm reading The Power of Habit and examining my habit of wanting to weigh myself.

The cue: I feel like I'm eating too much.

The routine: I get on the scale to see if the number is moving up or down.

The reward: I get "feedback" on whether or not I am fine eating the foods/amounts I am. OR I need to cut back a little bit on the amount of food I'm eating.

Thoughts about with what to replace the routine of weighing myself within a Whole30 context?? Maybe asking a mod to check out my food log..... Any other ideas for me? Thanks!

 

Yes, asking a mod to check your food log would be one option  :)

 

When you feel like you're eating too much, start to really tune in and ask yourself if you're overstuffed or pleasantly satiated. It might take some time to hone in on that feeling.

 

From a shifting your mindset perspective, another thing is to track/notice any other non-scale victories. Here are LOTS of ideas to get your started. http://whole9life.com/2012/08/new-health-scale/

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Right now I'm reading The Power of Habit and examining my habit of wanting to weigh myself.

The cue: I feel like I'm eating too much.

The routine: I get on the scale to see if the number is moving up or down.

The reward: I get "feedback" on whether or not I am fine eating the foods/amounts I am. OR I need to cut back a little bit on the amount of food I'm eating.

Thoughts about with what to replace the routine of weighing myself within a Whole30 context?? Maybe asking a mod to check out my food log..... Any other ideas for me? Thanks!

What would happen if you got stranded on a remote island. The island has no junk food, no alcohol, no sugary crap. It has lots of different kinds of protein, lots of veggies, some delicious fruits and an ample supply of fats like olives, coconuts and avocados. Also, lots of fresh water.

You build your home and maybe a boat or a dock, you walk the beaches and rest when you need it and eat about every 4-5 hours. You're burning fuel because you're busy moving so you eat as much as you need to in order to ensure that you don't "bonk" because that would be a huge problem on the island. While you're busy figuring out how to "live" and thrive on the island, do you panic that you can't weigh yourself? Does the pull of gravity against your body have any impact whatsoever on your life on this island? Besides the fit of your clothes, is there any reason that you can't judge your health and fitness by your ability to do the things that need to get done or that you want to do? Is there any reason you can't judge how much you should be eating based on not wanting to have to prepare food more than 3-4 times a day?

The scale is a completely mental thing. It is a terrible, hard habit to break. The level best way to break it is to put the scale into the boat you just built and row it out to sea, never to be seen again. :)

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It totally freaks me out. Lol. But really. Yes.

I know. I lost 80+ pounds on WW before I transitioned to grain free and then paleo and then finally Whole30. Getting off the scale was both incredibly exciting and terribly scary. It was like giving myself all the power but also thumbing my nose at "them" who taught me that my value was in my number and that the smaller I got, the more loveable/better I was. Telling "them" to get *&^%[email protected] was like slamming the door in the face of a really obnoxious door-to-door salesman who wouldn't take no for an answer. Scary and exhilerating.

You are a valuable human being. You deserve love and happiness and good things and absolutely none of that is predicated on what you weigh or the size you are.

Slam the door in their face. Take back your ownership of yourself, they have to give it to you if you demand it back. :)

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I've other kinds of body trusting in other areas of my life.

I gave birth to my first two babies at home with a midwife and my husband. The second baby was over 11 pounds. Of course I didn't know that until she was born, but we knew she was big. But I trusted my body and the birth process. And both births were amazing. (The third birth was great too, but had to be a c-sec for a previa.)

I trusted in the self-weaning process. I knew eventually my children would be satisfied with breastfeeding and stop when that need had been met. For baby number one that was 23 months, baby number two was 33 months, and baby number three was 39 months. They are wonderfully independent people now who are not overly attached because I met their needs until they didn't need it anymore.

But trusting that my body will tell me that I don't need to eat anymore......and actually HEEDING that message, wow.

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