kthkm Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I am on Day 21 and doing great!!! I'm starting a new job on Day 28, and I learned today that there will be obligatory welcome lunches on the first AND second days. The first day will be casual, something "brought in." The second will be more formal and at a restaurant. I'd love tips on how to handle these WITHOUT drawing a lot of attention to myself or questions that I'd rather not answer at that point. I don't know that I'll have input on what gets brought in on the first day or where we go on the second. I had hoped to just pack my lunches and fly under the radar for those last 3 days of my Whole30. Help!! Thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators SugarcubeOD Posted September 1, 2015 Moderators Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hi Kthkm; If you had food allergies, you would say something right? You wouldn't just wing it and hope for the best eating something that can harm you. So I would suggest going to the person who is organizing and mention that you're on a strict elimination diet due to some sensitivities (or even say allergies... it may be a bit of a fib, but people seem to take that seriously), and then ask if you can see the menu ahead of time or vet it. then you don't have to worry about making a 'scene' at the meal. They obviously are so happy to have you they're throwing you TWO lunches, so I imagine they don't want to harm you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannlib Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I just say, oh I'm really difficult, strict elimination diet, brought my own, thanks! I find lunches are always a total bread-fest so everyone is used to me turning up places with a tub of food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kthkm Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Thanks for the tips!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 or even say allergies... it may be a bit of a fib, but people seem to take that seriously Please don't do this. fibbing about allergies makes people (servers, cooks, hosts) take allergies less seriously. allergies can be very serious. People can handle being told: "I'm sorry but I have some sensitivities "or "I choose not to each xyz right now". Tell them the truth. I'll even say: "I'm not going to die, but I would really prefer avoiding x in this dish, can you check?" It helps them understand that they can be accommodating without washing the entire kitchen down. With new co-workers, it might help to think about your game plan moving forward. If you make a big deal about not eating certain foods at the welcome lunch but are seen scarfing down cupcakes in the break room one week later, it's going to look odd. You might want to emphasize the temporary nature of this experiment (and the unfortunate timing) in that case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators SugarcubeOD Posted September 2, 2015 Moderators Share Posted September 2, 2015 Please don't do this. fibbing about allergies makes people (servers, cooks, hosts) take allergies less seriously. allergies can be very serious. People can handle being told: "I'm sorry but I have some sensitivities "or "I choose not to each xyz right now". Tell them the truth. I'll even say: "I'm not going to die, but I would really prefer avoiding x in this dish, can you check?" It helps them understand that they can be accommodating without washing the entire kitchen down. With new co-workers, it might help to think about your game plan moving forward. If you make a big deal about not eating certain foods at the welcome lunch but are seen scarfing down cupcakes in the break room one week later, it's going to look odd. You might want to emphasize the temporary nature of this experiment (and the unfortunate timing) in that case. Oh, I 100% agree with this and I wish it was the case but we've seen time and again that people saying that they 'choose' not to eat something is sometimes not met with the seriousness that it should be.I've heard the 'it makes people not take allergies seriously' argument, but I don't understand it. How does the server KNOW if I have a dairy allergy or I just prefer not to eat dairy? Why would it make them take the next person that says it less seriously? Also, allergy doesn't necessarily mean that the person is going to die, or even that they need the whole kitchen washed down. But if I eat soy in something, I will get raging poo pants before I've even chewed the third bite... ya, not an allergy, but I'd really rather not risk it... so I say what I know will cause them to take me seriously... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Oh, I 100% agree with this and I wish it was the case but we've seen time and again that people saying that they 'choose' not to eat something is sometimes not met with the seriousness that it should be. Just because some people don't respect the boundaries we put out there is not a reason to lie. This is an opportunity to be a bigger person and teach the fact that it is ok to have preferences and that you are in charge of what you will choose to eat. Good restaurants/servers/friends will respect those boundaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Rather than saying you are in an elimination diet or claiming an allergy or trying to explain id just say you can't have x, y and z instead. I don't think you need to give a reason. I have an allergy (wheat) and yes I'd say that I do but a whole30 is our choice...we are chosing to limit certain foods...and as such id rather not get into a discussion about it as in my experience the majority if people don't understand and will not accept it without giving their arguments (and is rather not hear them tbh!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted September 2, 2015 Administrators Share Posted September 2, 2015 I've been to restaurants and said "xyz but without cheese or without the bun" or "this that and the other but could you please not season it at all" and I've never had anyone give me a hard time. In fact I have had servers come back and ask me specifically if it is an actual allergy because if it is, they will either make the food in a seperate room or they do a deep clean on the grill and prep area. Because it's not life threatening, I would never expect people to do that for my preference....and I feel like they try even harder to accomodate the request when they aren't having to disrupt the entire kitchen to make one hamburger. I usually say "No, not that kind of allergy, my body just can't tolerate xyz, just leave it off and we should be fine." I'm with Miss Mary on this one, don't lie. Not about this and not about anything else. Lieing is lieing and not something I personally abide by, it makes me feel worse inside than accidental dairy dosing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted September 2, 2015 Administrators Share Posted September 2, 2015 Oh, I 100% agree with this and I wish it was the case but we've seen time and again that people saying that they 'choose' not to eat something is sometimes not met with the seriousness that it should be. I'm sorry, but I just have to add this. Yes we believe in Whole30 and yes through process of reintroduction and elimination we have all discovered things that don't make us feel good. But the fact of the matter is that it is NOT as serious as someone who has an actual allergy who is possibly taking their life or at least the next 6-8 weeks of their life in their hands to eat restaurant food. It's simply not the same, nor does it need to be. We "thoughtful consumers" need to educate our server, be firm and bold and make sure that they understand and then tip and review accordingly. We do not need to pretend that we might die if they make our lettuce wrapped burger on the same grill as all the other burgers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators SugarcubeOD Posted September 2, 2015 Moderators Share Posted September 2, 2015 I actually agree with BritishGal on this... that perhaps in myst situations, no explanation is necessary... I appreciate the feedback on allergies... I didn't suggest that anyone should say they were going to die if their requests were not met and again, all allergies are not immediately fatal, so that's putting an intention on what I said to an extreme. I also don't abide by lying and I don't suggest people lie on a regular basis, but the original poster was asking how to handle an awkward situation without getting into a bunch of this and that and the EASIEST thing to say would be that she's allergic. Is it the best advice? No, perhaps not, but sometimes we need to squeak through a situation the quietest and least visible we can... Telling a server that you don't want xyz is not usually going to come with a host of questions... telling a brand new co-worker the same thing (and having to give somewhat of an explanation in order to not appear rude in the new environment) could come with an interrogation and I think that's what she's looking to avoid. Dollars to paleo-donuts that person isn't going to commit it to memory and sanitize the boardroom after every time they bring in a plate of cookies.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kthkm Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thank you for all the input. I just asked the person coordinating the lunches if we could "brown bag" the first one, since that is what I plan to do on a daily basis. Then she emailed me some choices for the more formal lunch, and I looked at the menus and told her my preference. I didn't have to get into a lot of detail, but I think maybe I set the stage with my request that we just bring our own on the first day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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