The most worthwhile thing I've ever tackled

[mariah_papaya]

Day 31!

 

I think it kind of sums it up that, at the beginning, I pictured Day 31 as an orgy with a pile of almond croissants and coffee cream; but instead I’m sitting here, eating scrambled eggs with dill, sautéed zucchini and mushrooms, and a mini fruit salad of banana, nectarine, and cantaloupe. I like coconut in my coffee so much, that it has become a permanent swap-out.

 

Results…… where do I even start. How can I quantify getting my sense of self-worth and efficacy back? Only a few months ago, I was a total disaster. I wondered if I’d ever be able to work in a high-functioning job again. I was on medication for postpartum anxiety and depression (first time ever taking a prescription medication of any kind), lay awake all night having anxiety attacks, was 30lbs over my “happy” weight, crying all the time, racked with all kinds of inflammatory problems, including tenosynovitis so bad I’d yell in pain every time I picked up my baby. It was the low of all lows for me! Pregnancy threw me for a loop – prior to getting pregnant with my daughter (now 10 months), I was super active and healthy. But my pregnancy was a nightmare of nausea, puking, blinding migraines, terrible carb-driven diet, inactivity, swelling, exhaustion, and general anxiety.

 

Now, to be fair, 30 days ago I wasn’t in this rough a state – I had gradually pulled myself out of the mire over the preceeding few months, but wanted to try this because I’m moving back to my hometown next week and starting a challenging new job, and wanted to feel on top of my game. Restricting calories and running weren’t giving me the results I wanted, and I was still trapped in the craving/guilt cycle. So, I remembered seeing a friend last summer who had just completed a Whole 30, and she looked incredible. Far more than just losing weight though, she was radiating happiness and confidence. Aha, I’m going to check that out.

 

Admittedly, I went into this with the primary goal of losing some inches and looking smoking hot in my new business attire. And certainly, I’m going to weigh myself later today, and add that little figure as an addendum, but first I wanted to be sure to get my NSVs quantified. I’m going to divide them into physiological and psychological categories, because I did not in any way anticipate the extent of the psychological changes that have happened over the past month.

 

Psychological:

I no longer obsess about food. I plan meals and stick to them, and don’t waste every intervening minute having these dramatic, drawn-out, debates in my head about the relative pros and cons of eating ____ (fill in the blank) and whether I had “earned” it or “deserved” it. Strangely, by following something incredibly restrictive, I’ve cut loose from half a lifetime of obsessive eating. This is just the premium gasoline that I insist on putting in my vehicle – and why wouldn’t I fuel myself the same way?

 

My anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and intrusive thoughts are GONE. And I mean gone.  I feel like a million bucks. I’m level, optimistic, and I haven’t randomly cried in weeks. I feel strong, capable, and like I have my “old self” back, the one who could and did do anything.

 

I’m friendlier. I don’t randomly send eye daggers to people in the grocery store, etc, when they cut me off. I’m like, “Oh, well, I guess they’re in a rush. Whatevs!”

 

I’ve got my strut back. I walk down the street feeling proud of myself, confident, and like I own my place in the world. I’m not the least bit panicked about taking on my new job, even though it’s going to be the biggest challenge of my life!

 

 Physiological:

 

Sleep: before, I was taking Melotonin on a nightly basis to get to sleep and to stay sleeping. Almost every night, I would get up with the baby and not be able to fall back asleep, sometimes meaning I’d start the day having been awake since 2 am. I was losing my mind. Now I fall asleep and have no trouble going back to sleep.

 

Clear, soft, divine skin – my face looks younger and smoother. My hair is a silky delight. My rosacea on cheeks and backs of arms is completely vanished. The chicken skin on my elbows and knees is gone. My  nails are long and strong. My eye whites (and I swear, my teeth) are whiter.

 

I can go six hours between meals without a hitch. Normally I’d be sweating and falling apart if I didn’t eat every three hours or so, and it would be sudden onset and dramatic, like I get hungry and fall off a cliff and become a useless, whining toddler – now it’s so much better! I get hungry before a meal, but it’s a low-grade hunger, not a panic.

 

ENERGY! I go for runs because it seems like a fun idea. I look for projects to do. I dive into everything!

 

Bonus: I rediscovered my love of creative cooking. I’ve been whipping up some crazy awesome stuff! And I’ve lost my fear of cooking meat. Normally I’d stick to chicken breasts and fish in a pretty monotonous cycle – but since starting this, I’ve tried cooking tenderloin, roast beef, whole chickens, wings, pork shoulders, you name it!

 

And finally…… drumroll please……

I lost exactly 7lbs. Bringing me RIGHT back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My top pregnancy weight, around this time last year, was well over 200lbs. I was a blimp! In November, a few weeks after giving birth, I was devastated to see I was still 187lbs. Today I was 151, right back into my “comfortable” range. (I’m 5’7”) That means I’ve lost over 35lbs in 10 months. I am insanely proud of myself!

 

Looking forward – I can’t see any compelling reason to stop this lifestyle. Despite the current insanity levels – baby, new job, big move, etc, I plan on continuing to at least a Whole 60.

 

To anyone considering trying this – DO IT. You’ll thank yourself later. 

[jmcbn]

My anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and intrusive thoughts are GONE. And I mean gone.  I feel like a million bucks. I’m level, optimistic, and I haven’t randomly cried in weeks. I feel strong, capable, and like I have my “old self” back, the one who could and did do anything.

 

I’m friendlier. I don’t randomly send eye daggers to people in the grocery store, etc, when they cut me off. I’m like, “Oh, well, I guess they’re in a rush. Whatevs!”

 

I’ve got my strut back. I walk down the street feeling proud of myself, confident, and like I own my place in the world. I’m not the least bit panicked about taking on my new job, even though it’s going to be the biggest challenge of my life!

 

So good to see you got your Mojo back...

 

Great results & good luck with moving home and starting the new job....!!

[mariah_papaya]

Thanks @jmcbn ! And thanks for your help and encouragement, and that of all the moderators who pointed me in the right direction

[Carrots&Blueberries]

Wow!! what a great story! Congratulations, and I hope it's a wonderful start to your new job.