Embarassed


Higgles

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I had a successful Whole 30 for the month of June, and spent the month of July doing introductions. I lost weight and felt great, but the restrictions put a strain on my family as my husband makes all our meals and he is not following the protocol and we travel a lot because we currently live in Germany (big language barrier when trying to order compliant food). I attempted to "ride my own bike" in August but was completely derailed by September. Now its October and I've gained all my weight back and I feel awful. My clothes are tight, my skin is broken out, I feel embarassed and defeated.

 

I know I should just jump right in, but I feel like I always have one reason or another that stops me, (4 work trips in Sep/Oct, next/last 2 have set meal plans and not a lot of compliant choices)... all excuses, trust me I know. I feel like when I was on plan I had more willpower...I had gone so many days, or it had been so long without a certain food that I didn't crave it. But being off-plan, I have zero willpower,. Every "Day 1" I'm in situations where I don't control myself. For example...my next trip is a conference in Italy, pasta and wine everywhere.

 

I want to be healthy and happy.. I start out every time so motivated, and then somewhere along the line I lost it. I know I just need to jump right in, but I don't want to lose the motivation. Somehow the thought of knowing this will make me feel better isn't enough, as ridiculous as that seems. Are there things that some people do to maintain motivation that is outside of the NSV's? Using quotes, or an accountability buddy (I lost mine and i blame that for some of my failure). I can't believe that I spent a majority of this year slowly losing weight (starting with an unfinished 30 in February), and then I gain it all back in 2 months. How frustrating! I really thought I was going to be a success story, and then I lost my way....

 

 

 

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I have no advice whatsoever, but just wanted to say that I feel your pain! I did a great first Whole30 in June/July as well, but a quite stressful time at work has completely derailed me. I don't even remember how many times I attempted to start over again and get back on track, just to fail a few days later. There's no rational explanation whatsoever for my behaviour, because the cons so massively outweigh the positive effects, and it really annoys me.

 

What I can't do is moderation, I'm either all in or all out. I knew this before, but was hoping that the Whole30 would have changed my relationship with food at least in the way that would allow me to step on the brakes when necessary. Not the case, so apart from trying to stay compliant I'm also worrying about how I will deal with it all once it's over, adding even more anxiety, and making it even more likely to just grab the snacks offered at a work event or eating the cake someone brought to the office. 

 

I'm not even sure where I wanted to go with this, but hey, you're in good company! I'm sure both you and I can eventually do this again, we just need to figure out what to change how in order to make it possible. Things have changed since the first round, and I think we need to adapt to those changes and can't expect the same strategy to work again. Once I figure out those changes I'll let you know :)

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Take things one meal at a time. Build a new support/accountability team (even if it's just one other person) to do this with you.  Create a list of all the reasons why you want to do another Whole30 and post it in a prominent place where you can review it daily.

 

Oh, and take the morality out of the equation.  You have tons of lessons learned from your prior experience. Compassionately meet yourself where you're at now: all it is, is your new starting point. No judgment. 

 

You might find this article helpful regarding why the second Whole30 can be harder than the first.

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Honestly, just taking the program one day at a time helped me navigate through my second W30. I probably tried to start numerous times for the second one and just couldn't get motivated to make it past the first two days. Finally, I told myself "don't worry about tomorrow or next week. You can make it through today." And that really seemed to help! The article GFChris posted was very 'on-point' for me regarding the reasons why it was hard to start up again. Of course, the hardest part is after a week, when you haven't seen mant results yet and are feeling grumpy -- but you have an advantage this time around, because you KNOW the results are coming! 

 

Reading and posting on this forum has really helped me with motivation so I definitely recommend being an active member on here. I look back now, and I am so happy I started back up with the program on a random Saturday -- it could have been 30 days later and I would still be eating the same junk foods and feeling miserable -- but I made some changes and have no regrets! I have a feeling you won't regret it either:) 

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Thank you all of you for replying. That is a great article, I think I fit into the "no fear of the restart" section, which led me to another article by Mellissa which was very helpful (http://whole30.com/2014/09/five-things-melissa-hartwig-learned-whole30/).I think it was harder to stick with it when I'm like oh I know a little bit of dairy is ok, or rice was fine but then rice branched into bread....

 

22twelve you sound so much like me. I can't do moderation... at least not yet. I don't think it had to do with committment, I felt committed, but I have not been in this mindset long enough to undue years of poor food relationships.

 

Like you all said, I need to start one day at a time... a whole 1 or 2 is better than a day making poor decisions, and maybe if I try to point out the good decisions I made everyday, it will be helpful in standing up against the other bad choices that are in front of me :)

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Hi Higgles & 22twelve! I really have nothing to add except to say that the fact you are still looking at the forums & learning from them means you'll undoubtedly do really well once you can clear the space to manage it. And yes, one or two days is far better than no days. This is my second W30 (which took a long time to start) and I'm now doing reintroductions. One thing that has helped is looking at my calendar, seeing ahead of time where there are challenges, and deciding ahead of time how I am going to handle them. That, and always having compliant grab-&-go food in the fridge for those unexpected moments. A day at a time.... you'll do fine.

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I would also suggest joining one of the groups doing a W30 on this forum. I know that helped me tremendously with staying strong and keeping me on track. The camaraderie, suggestions, and positive energy, etc were helpful.  It's nice to be with a group of people have the same struggles and triumphs you are.  And from my experience it's a completely judgment free zone!

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Hey everyone,  I am so glad you all posted.  I am trying to start my second Whole 30 program today!!!!!!!  I too have struggled with starting and stopping.  Everything in the article that the moderator GFChris  told us to read really spoke to me.

 

Completing the 1st Whole 30 program was such a positive experience for me back in May, I don't have to tell you all how it added to my well being.  Please keep posting your struggles as well as your advice as this forum is the reason I got through the first one.

 

I am looking forward to the next 30 days, my sugar dragon is trying to take over as I am writing this

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so the sugar dragon won yesterday and I spiraled pretty far down and of course felt physically ill.  I think I hit rock bottom, and today I DO NOT want to say I'm "starting over".  It sounds to me, negative like I failed.. I want to begin the program today.  It sounds more positive for me.

 

The main thing for me is to make sure I don't get hungry and start foraging for non compliant food.

 

Later, alligator

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Chillyjilly,

 

I like your reframed attitude of saying I want to start the program today. Maybe don't name it when you start over? I've had "day 1" when I knew I would be blowing it 2 days later. This time, I'm really trying to focus on doing 1 day at a time. I've done a complete 30 and a reintro so I'm not trying to go for a full 30 right now, I'm trying to make each day a success, with yesterday being another start. I find that writing down what I ate the day before helps, and knowing that I"ll be posting my diet has helped me think about whether i wanted to eat that unhealthy thing or not. When I got out of the tracking habit I spiraled downhill, I didn't realize I would negate 7 months of healthiness in 2 months... but I did, and I'm back at square one.

 

Thank you for sharing, and continue to post about your progress, I think it'll help you be stronger :)

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