Who's got my back?

[seawinters]

I'm restarting today. I was doing great, about 6 days in and had most of the uncomfortable detox symptoms behind me, but then a series of circumstances (not enough sleep, let myself very stressed, and more) found me gorging on Halloween candy for two days. I live with people who bring vast amounts of junk into the home, with which they literally taunt me. I've got a must attend potluck tonight and the birthday dinner celebrating for my youngest son tomorrow, so need to be prepared with more than just will power. I got a good night's sleep at least, which isn't always a given. Toss me some newcomer love and energy, would you?

[mergthemagnificent]

You got it....all the love you need....but the most important is that you know this starts with taking care of yourself.  I must admit, it took awhile for me to get more comfortable with saying: I am on a food elimination program right now.....or I'm just not eating XXX for the time being.....of course, I still get some strange looks and nosy questions, but it comes a bit easier the longer you go and the more you know and realize the benefits.

 

This all works together: sleep, exercise, eating well, time for quiet....so a big weakness in one area definitely makes it harder to stay strong in the others - BUT, the reverse is also true:  the more you do to take care of yourself, the way will be greased for all of those hard times, all those events that will just keep coming along and try your will...

 

also, consider that if this is not the right time to start, set it up for a time when you can really be ready.  A friend from work was going to start last week, but the more we talked about it she decided to start in January....no shame in that...success is a valuable motivator.

[Lessser]

Wishing you well, I'm restarting again too.  This is my 3rd start and I hope to make some better choices this time around.  Eat before you go, bring food you can eat and who said you have to tell everyone what your doing.  Just smile and enjoy yourself and eat only what is whole30 approved.  I'm going to a book signing with a friend and I know she will want to stop and get a drink after, but I'm either going to decline or have fun and order a club soda with lime and say I have to work tomorrow which is true.  Sometimes I think we are our own worst enemy.

[GFChris]

I live with people who bring vast amounts of junk into the home, with which they literally taunt me. 

 

Can you have an adult discussion with the people with whom you share your home?  Explain your commitment to this program and why it's important to you. Request they not verbally taunt you, and respect your choice to stay on this program for 30 days.

[seawinters]

Thanks everyone. Today went fine. Got in a nice workout, ate a little afterwards, and did alright at the potluck, with the only offense being a couple slices of pepperoni.

To elaborate about the other people in my home, "taunting" was honestly a bit exaggerated. They like sweets. They like junk foods. They like mountains of rice. When I'm on my own, I simply don't have that sort of stuff in the house. I'm simultaneously the oldest and likely the most fit and health conscience of the bunch. I'm also horribly addicted to sugar, which the rest of the crew might or might not be. That's none of my business really, since what I do know is that I can't eat just one cookie. No matter how much of a solemn oath I make, one is simply too many, and a dozen are not enough.

Onwards to day 2. My son's birthday dinner is at Benihana's, so it shouldn't be too much of a challenge.

Thanks again for the excellent energy you sent over. It worked! :-)

[GFChris]

did alright at the potluck, with the only offense being a couple slices of pepperoni

Did you check the pepperoni ingredients for compliance? It would be suspect for things like sugar, wine and gluten.

[Lessser]

Love Benihanas............. maybe you could call ahead and ask for something made without all their corn oils and sauces.  Its worth a try- stay strong I just completed my first day and slept horribly but I'm keeping steady.

[seawinters]

Nooo, I certainly didn't check the ingredients of the pepperoni, as none were available. Feel just fine about that too, since, while I chalked up to an offense, I didn't touch the myriad of pastas, breads, chips, or, pastries.

For tonight, I'm going to just have a dinner of protein and lots of veggies. If yesterday's pepperoni and today's potential corn oil are considered too off plan, I'm happy to restart.

I cook daily and eat very few processed foods anyway. I'm avoiding sugars, artificial sweeteners, dairy, and grains. My goal is to be less obsessive about food, whether I'm eating it or not eating it, let my insulin receptors heal, since they must be exhausted, and hopefully get my cholesterol down. I'm slowly working my running mileage back up and hope to run some (slow) races next year, so the combination of everything should help.

Even though I basically declined both suggestions, thank so very much for your input. This has really helped me more clearly identify my focus.

[GFChris]

Nooo, I certainly didn't check the ingredients of the pepperoni, as none were available. Feel just fine about that too, since, while I chalked up to an offense, I didn't touch the myriad of pastas, breads, chips, or, pastries.

For tonight, I'm going to just have a dinner of protein and lots of veggies. If yesterday's pepperoni and today's potential corn oil are considered too off plan, I'm happy to restart.

I guess the question to ask yourself (no judgment either way) is whether you want to do a true Whole30, which requires following all the rules for 30 consecutive days, or to do something close to a Whole30 and follow your own program?

 

[Bronwyn]

You've got this seawinters. Sending love and positive energy your way. Try not to beat yourself up about your slip up, because you can't change what happened, but you can change how you act / react going forward. The Whole30 is a perfect time to examine what you're eating,why you're eating, and to develop new coping mechanisms for stressful, emotional situations. It's hard, and going to be hard, but you've got this. Posting here is great, writing it out is great. You're great!

 

Maybe have a chat with the people around you on how this is important to your personal well-being, and if they love you, they will try not to wave things in your face. Perhaps there can be a designated "junk food" cupboard away from where you'd usually be looking to prep meals.

 

I think that it's up to you if you want to restart. If you feel like you are doing everything possible, reading ingredients, asking questions, and being diligent about what you're putting into your body and something still gets past you, it's fine to keep going. But if you're seeing these ingredients and eating them anyway, that's different.

 

You do you!

[seawinters]

So when I wake up in the morning I'm 10 days in. Or not. I suspect that depends on your perspective.

So why do I say this?

In my adult life, I've been both under 100lbs and over 200lbs. I'm a 5'7" middle aged woman, and am clear that both of those situations are severally unhealthy. Right now I'm pretty much right in the middle of those two weights.

I've done most "diets" and many with great "success". Even without the guidance of the Whole 30 program, I tend to choose whole foods and cook the majority of my meals. I eat hardly anything that comes out of a can, box, or has a colorful wrapper. I work out regularly, and even ran my first half marathon last year. I don't drink any alcohol or do any drugs, whatsoever (though I did quite a bit of both in my past.)

I'm seeking to understand the concept of moderation, though have accepted that when it comes to sugar, this will most surely not be possible. I can't say I'll never consume something with sugar in it again, but am happy to say that I haven't done so today.

Here's how I've followed the plan so far:

1) I eat a good sized breakfast most days. Usually a couple scrambled eggs cooked in coconut oil on top of a bowl of greens, maybe with some left over dinner meat, and topped with avocado, maybe some salsa and/or olives.

2) I enjoy a big mixed salad for lunch or dinner dressed with vinegar and olive oil. Typical would be organic mixed herb greens, tomato, peppers, cukes, a bit of sliced orange, a boiled egg, a few pecans or seeds, and maybe some meat or fish.

3) Some sort of cooked hot meal, often a fully compliant veggie laden soup or stew that I cooked myself.

4) I have an extra boiled egg or other type of protein within 30 minutes of strength training if my next full meal is a ways out.

Here are the ways I guess one could say that I'm not following Whole30, or doing my own version:

1) On my son's birthday dinner I mentioned would be at Benihanas, I ate two small pieces of vegetable tempura. The batter is most surely not allowed.

2) Most evenings I've had a late evening snack of a banana usually with a few pecans. I'm an insomniac and the tryptophan helps me sleep.

3) Twice I've blended mango with a bit of almond milk, and enjoyed it in a bowl on its own after dinner.

4) Several times I've had a few drops of Stevia in my coffee. I grow the stuff in my garden. It's been my sweetener of choice for years.

5) While I haven't smoked for four years, I continue to consume nicotine in the form of lozenges.

I find paleo much less restrictive than living a ketogenic life style, so easier to stick close to due to the allowance of some fruit and starchy veggies, i.e. yams and beets.

Believe me, I remember each time I've consciously broken a Whole30 rule. For me personally, I see my greatest focus to be to nurture self acceptance and minimize self-reproach. I'm reluctant to actively engage in my default of perfectionistic thinking. It will sabotage my efforts to live well quicker than a Snickers bar. I'm celebrating 7 full days of no sugar, grains, or dairy (since I can't count time before veggie tempura) and for this I am most grateful. If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll add another day to that count tomorrow.

I thank all of you who replied to my plea for support. I really appreciate it.

[GFChris]

Here's how I've followed the plan so far:

1) I eat a good sized breakfast most days. Usually a couple scrambled eggs cooked in coconut oil on top of a bowl of greens, maybe with some left over dinner meat, and topped with avocado, maybe some salsa and/or olives.

2) I enjoy a big mixed salad for lunch or dinner dressed with vinegar and olive oil. Typical would be organic mixed herb greens, tomato, peppers, cukes, a bit of sliced orange, a boiled egg, a few pecans or seeds, and maybe some meat or fish.

3) Some sort of cooked hot meal, often a fully compliant veggie laden soup or stew that I cooked myself.

4) I have an extra boiled egg or other type of protein within 30 minutes of strength training if my next full meal is a ways out.

Here are the ways I guess one could say that I'm not following Whole30, or doing my own version:

1) On my son's birthday dinner I mentioned would be at Benihanas, I ate two small pieces of vegetable tempura. The batter is most surely not allowed.

2) Most evenings I've had a late evening snack of a banana usually with a few pecans. I'm an insomniac and the tryptophan helps me sleep.

3) Twice I've blended mango with a bit of almond milk, and enjoyed it in a bowl on its own after dinner.

4) Several times I've had a few drops of Stevia in my coffee. I grow the stuff in my garden. It's been my sweetener of choice for years.

5) While I haven't smoked for four years, I continue to consume nicotine in the form of lozenges.

...

Believe me, I remember each time I've consciously broken a Whole30 rule. For me personally, I see my greatest focus to be to nurture self acceptance and minimize self-reproach. I'm reluctant to actively engage in my default of perfectionistic thinking. It will sabotage my efforts to live well quicker than a Snickers bar. I'm celebrating 7 full days of no sugar, grains, or dairy (since I can't count time before veggie tempura) and for this I am most grateful. If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll add another day to that count tomorrow.

Thanks for the update.

With respect to whether or not you're following the Whole30 rules, there is no judgment, morality or perfectionism around that.   If you're following all the rules, you're doing a Whole30.  If you're following some rules and not others, you're doing your own program.  It's pretty black and white.  It's not about being punitive.

For your own clarity and for those who may read this thread in the future, here are the items that are off-plan:

- tempura (likely contained corn starch and/or gluten)

- stevia (no amount of any sweetener is permitted on a Whole30)

- nicotine lozenges (contain artificial sweetener)

With that information, you get to decide whether to continue on your own plan or give 30 consecutive days of Whole30 a shot. Either way, you're welcome to continue posting in the forum (the Whole30 log areas allow for posting when following all the Whole30 rules or creating your own plan).

 

[seawinters]

Wow, so Chris, a feeble utterance of "no judgment" doesn't sway from the fact that I came here for support, and while some members have kindly provided such, the moderator was able to say little more than a paraphrased, "you're doing it wrong."

That totally blows.

I sincerely hope you never have to talk someone off a real ledge. I picture you telling them their not living life right, no judgement, but maybe one day they'll choose to.

There are alternative ways to show support and direction, that include encouragement as well as critique. That's simply not the method you choose to apply when offering help to people who reach out. No judgement. It's apparently working well for you.

So kind of you to allow me to continue posting to this forum. I'll pass.

And with that, adieu, and good luck.

[ladyshanny]

Hi seawinters, I'm sorry that you read judgement into Chris's response.  It's so hard to determine tone in text.  Everyone receives encouragement in a different way and we volunteer moderators all have our own personalities so it's nearly impossible to make sure that every person who is receiving a critique or encouragement is getting it in precisely the way they prefer to receive it.  Some of us are more effusive and "warm" in our responses and others of us are not.  

 

As far as the "no judgement" phrase, it's true.  We don't place any moral distinction on foods.  There is no "good" or "bad" and there is no "right" or "wrong", morally.  As far as the Whole30 rules go, there is "Following the Whole30" and "Not following the Whole30".  There is no grey area but whether or not you have chosen to stay within the rules doesn't increase or decrease your value as a human being in anyone's eyes.  

 

We always need to make sure that anyone new who comes along doesn't become confused when they see someone eating tempura and sweetening their coffee with stevia.  It's not a judgement against you but rather that we keep the rules of the program clear.  

 

I hope you do continue to post here, it's a community like no other and as in any community, mild conflict and the polite resolution of it helps people grow as individuals.  And in some cases said conflict can help us moderate ourselves to ensure that everyone feels supported and encouraged.