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Brewer5: A Fresh Start


Brewer5

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Tomorrow (ugh, TODAY... as I post at 2:29 am) is my middle son's 11th birthday.

 

I have decided I will not get on the Whole 30 forum until he goes to bed tomorrow night.  I love you all dearly, but I check in here WAY too much... and I am going to remove that distraction for his special day.  :)

 

(Of course I will be here with a full report as soon as he goes to bed.  haha)

 

Have a great day, everyone!

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I just sat here and thought about this for awhile, and realized that I almost never feel sad or angry anymore.

 

The last time I remember feeling sad and angry was October.  I remember how I felt quite clearly -- and now it feels like looking back on a different person.

 

I cannot explain how much the ups and the downs with my blood sugar affect my mood.  I cannot explain how sensitive I am -- yes, even to things like potatoes.

 

I feel so much better, and I am so thankful.

 

 

Fabulous!

 

I feel this way about myself as I'm on day 29 of my Whole 30. My October and November were so.miserable emotionally. For the month of December, I've been a different person. How very telling!

 

Happy Birthday to your son! Have I mentioned that I also have 3 boys? And a girl first. They are 19, 17, 14 & 12. It's a full life. :)

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Oh man you guys.  I am paying for my little transgression the other day BIG TIME!  My sugar dragon is back to being awake, and he's a jerk!  I've been fighting it all day.  But I can tell you, even with upping the fat and a lot of positive self talk, it was hard to walk through the grocery store today and not snatch absolutely terrible things off the shelves.  

 

I also noticed my anxiety was up again.  And that fueled my feelings about carb foods even further.  

 

Ugh!!!  I fought the good fight today though, and didn't give in.  

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Hi! I just posted this in my log, and I would be interested in your input. Didn't know if you would have time to look over there, so I copied so I could paste it here. Hope you had a fun day celebrating your son's birthday!

 

Proposed Reintros Schedule

Day 1 (which is New Year's Eve) - having 2 glasses of red wine during the evening with our friends who will be in town

Day 2, 3 Whole 30

Day 4 legumes at all 3 meals - peanut butter, black beans & pinto beans

Days 5, 6 Whole 30

Day 7 non-gluten grains - oatmeal, white rice, white rice

Days 8, 9 Whole 30

Day 10 dairy - cream in coffee, cheese, butter

Days 11, 12 Whole 30

Day 13 gluten - sourdough bread, banana muffin (no sweetener, just the banana), homemade pizza crust (no cheese, just the crust as a "breadstick")

 

Ok - but here is the thing. I think this seems like a good reintro schedule. I like the idea of learning how these foods affect me group by group. But I believe my intention is to go back to a Whole 30-ish way of eating and quite possibly a ketogenic way of eating. So I know that most of the things I am testing during reintros will not work for me going forward. Should I still do this? Is knowledge power? Or will this make me miserable and for what?

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Oh man you guys.  I am paying for my little transgression the other day BIG TIME!  My sugar dragon is back to being awake, and he's a jerk!  I've been fighting it all day.  But I can tell you, even with upping the fat and a lot of positive self talk, it was hard to walk through the grocery store today and not snatch absolutely terrible things off the shelves.  

 

I also noticed my anxiety was up again.  And that fueled my feelings about carb foods even further.  

 

Ugh!!!  I fought the good fight today though, and didn't give in.  

 

Awakening the sugar demon stinks. Good for you to fight the good fight and not to give in. This is the way that you slay the sugar dragon. Don't feed him. I agree with what Brewer said to you a few posts back. Your resolve has been strengthened by your misstep with the graham crackers and milk. Now you know that it's not only a problem the day you eat them, but for several days afterward. So you won't be as tempted the next time it crosses your mind and you can choose to call to mind the pain of today.

 

I read your post after I posted mine about reintros... this causes me to pause even more when I think about having some high carb days during reintros. Maybe not. Hmm.

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Sara ~ it IS very telling.  The thing is:  You don't realize how bad it is while you are in it.  It's only when you have really cleaned things up, and feel G.O.O.D. (as Karen and I like to say  :lol: ) ... that you can really see the big picture.

 

THAT is why I am so determined to not let myself slip back to that place again.  It really does take self-discipline and vigilance... and I think I am so aware of that now -- more than I ever have been before.

 

Note:  I am not saying deprivation.  I do. not. feel deprived, or like I am being controlled by rules, or trying to fit into a tiny box where my body does not want to go.  I feel free.  And I think that is how it HAS to be.  It may take awhile to get there -- but that is ultimately the key to success, IMO.  Following your own, very personal, "rules".

 

"No I will not get into the roasted salted nut tray, because I know where that leads."

 

"No I will not eat popcorn at the movies, because I know I will just want more and more."

 

"No I will not drink wine anymore, because I am not happy with one glass.  It turns into a bottle ~ or a bottle and a half!"   :ph34r: 

 

Anyway -- COOL about your kids.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking:  How GREAT for you that you had a girl first.  I imagine she is helpful and mother-hen-like.  Does she also like to clean?  Man... I have a niece who is a neat freak, and I think how lucky my sister is!

 

My baby is almost 9, middle 11, oldest 14.  And we homeschool.  Not sure if I've mentioned that on this log.  We have morphed from "school at home" more to an "unschooling" approach for some things, and really we just call it "life school" lately.  We are pursing their interests -- whatever they may be.  

 

So when you say "It's a full life" -- I hear you.   :)  Some days it is beyond crazy -- but I wouldn't have it any other way.  (We wanted SIX -- until we had three -- and then we were like, "Woah, Nellie!  That's plenty!")   Haha.

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Sara ~ how many Whole 30's have you done?  

 

If you have NEVER done proper re-intros, I sort of feel like that is essential ........  because, otherwise, you just don't know.

 

Then it's all to easy to get in a funk one day and be like, "Yeah, forget it, let's just eat Panda Express."  (Or whatever.)

 

Then THAT ^ leads to craving dumb stuff the next day, and then you may give in to that......  and before you know it, you're sitting on the couch with a bag of mini Reese's peanut butter cups, eating them one after another after another.

 

I mean, I've never done that or anything, I'm just imagining  ........   :lol:

 

My opinion is that if you are already leaning toward trying a keto approach again ~ doing proper re-intro will just strengthen your resolve to do that.  If you follow the schedule you have outlined above, I can almost guarantee you that at the end of that time -- you will have your answer about what is the best path for you to choose.

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This is my third Whole 30. But I haven't followed the reintro schedule before. So I think it is a good idea to follow it on the one hand. I'm kind of scared to go down that path on the other hand. Your "theoretical example" - uh, let's just say I can "imagine" a similar scenario.  :ph34r:

 

Regarding my daughter - it's a long story for another day, but I read a page or two of your previous log. She and your birthday boy have a lot in common. I wish I had known about Feingold when she was that age. Maybe it would have helped her. I did as much as I knew to do to help her, including home schooling and a type of schooling called "University Model." The great news is that she has matured quite a bit and is on the road to being a super adult. But there were some very stressful years in there, that is for certain. My coping mechanisms have not been the healthiest. That's what I'm working on now. :)

 

Thanks for your feedback about the reintros! And your honesty in general here on the forums. I appreciate it a lot. 

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JESS ~ 

 

Two things come to mind for me about your post today:

 

1)  My anxiety is ALWAYS up after I've had a shot of carbs.  I noticed when trying to follow the Carb Nite program, that I felt good all week -- and the morning after a (ridiculous) night of carbs, I had the whole "sweaty pits, heart palpitations, facial flushing" thing going on.  NO. THANK. YOU.

 

I haven't mentioned it here, because I really don't mean to come across as SO down on potatoes (when they are highly recommended here) -- but now is an appropriate time to share it.

 

I had some chunks of russet potato in a bowl of Instant Pot stuff I made for the kids the other day.  It was Christmas Eve -- I was running around here trying to get a bunch of stuff done -- you know, go, go, go......  So I thought, "Screw it, I'm eating the potatoes and not picking around them."

 

Later -- when everyone was here for the party -- I had a moment of facial flushing (blushing) that was just completely ridiculous.  This is my "anxiety" coming through... and this was the first time it had happened to me for A VERY LONG TIME.  I have felt cool as a cucumber.  Calm, confident.  

 

This moment just further strengthened my theory that my "anxiety" is caused by my blood sugar doing funky things.

 

2)  If you are logging calories in MFP at all right now -- I want you to STOP... especially in times like this.  Feed your body, and don't worry about the scale.   Put it away, stay off of it for awhile .......  What is important is to get yourself back to a state of feeling really good, and if that takes 4000 calories -- so be it.

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Yeah, there has been absolutely no MFP allowed for me for about a week.  Occasionally I'll consult it or log in a new meal just to make sure I'm not over-carbing it unknowingly, but I haven't been logging in entire days whatsoever.  I've been feeding my body and giving it whatever it needs to feel satisfied and to shut up that damn sugar dragon.  And I put away the scale about a week ago too.  That thing is a liar anyway! LOL

 

The anxiety, my god the anxiety.  It's remarkable how "back" it is!  That alone should be all the motivation in the world.  My sleep had been so incredible, and here I am a night before work, amped out of my mind and not sure how I'll fall asleep.  

 

I spent my afternoon/evening cooking and cleaning to try to redirect the anxiety.  I got a lot done, and managed to cook some more of that yummy chicken, plus hardboiled eggs and some taco meat.  So temptation should be less aggravating as long as I have "go to" meals at hand.  Packed my lunch for tomorrow as well.  That alone feels like a huge accomplishment, because before Whole30, I would avoid cooking and packing lunches since it was time consuming and I had, you guessed it, zero energy.  So that's coming up on three months straight of nothing but good, wholesome, healthy lunches.  I'm pretty proud of that!

 

Sara- DO YOUR RE-ENTRY.  Trust me, not doing it leads to nowhere good.  I never did a full one, because I still do not eat legumes or gluten.  But I've learned what my "dairy threshold" is, and that wine and I are like Sid and Nancy.  And please be prepared for that sugar dragon re-awakening.  That guy is an asshole LOL. 

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Since I've got some new folks popping in from time to time, I wanted to share this wine post from my last log.  

 

I think it is really important in the discussion about addiction ~ to realize that never really does mean never.

 

Every other time I quit smoking -- I "tried to quit smoking".  I didn't have the proper tools and understanding to know exactly how to battle the cravings and get through the really crappy withdrawal symptoms.  I didn't know what else to do when I was feeling ~really stressed and at the end of my rope~.  I hated smoking -- passionately -- the smell, the taste, the smoke, the hold it had on me -- all of it.  

 

It was only when I began to really do some research, that I could look at this addiction and see exactly what was going on.  I knew there had to be another way.  I could look around me and see hundreds of other people every day who were not smokers, and they seemed to be getting through life just fine.

 

I decided once and for all that I would never turn back to its grip.  I had learned enough times that it would never be the right answer.  No matter what the consequences were -- depression, anxiety, weight gain, bitchiness, weepiness, stress, "not feeling like myself" -- I got to a place where I decided I was going to figure out what I needed to do to move through those things... to keep moving forward.

 

Now, my struggle with wine was not nearly as big of a deal.  I did not give up alcohol altogether, for one thing.  But also -- my relationship with wine was only for a couple of years, while my smoking experience was (on and off) for 20 years.

 

I've been talking to people about sugar...  People who may not even realize that sugar belongs in that addiction category right along with smoking, drinking, and anything else that we feel out of control about.  

 

And I thought about it today, with the "potty treat" thread .....  How many of us have been "rewarded" with "treats" since we were just barely old enough to walk?  I think the longer we have battled an addiction, the harder it probably is to walk away from it.  It's a part of us, it's part of what defines us... and it can be scary on some level to decide to re-define ourselves.

 

But we CAN do it.  People do it every day.  We are not weaklings.  If you've made it through an entire (or multiple) Whole 30's -- you can make it through just about anything.  You just have to want it enough to make it a top priority.

 

Heck no, it's not always easy -- but neither is being controlled by an addiction.  

 

Looking back, quitting smoking wasn't hard.  Smoking was hard.  It was hard on me... on my body, on my self-esteem, on my relationships with others.  

 

Quitting wine wasn't easy, and it took me awhile to finally get to that point where I could completely "close the door", as kirkor says.  For some reason we can even convince ourselves it is healthy.  And there is a social component with sharing a bottle of wine...    When I announced to my mom that I was never drinking wine again, she looked at my dad and said in a pouty voice:  "Well, I'm just not going to have anyone left to drink wine with anymore."

 

But anyway -- I did it.  Here's the post, for anyone out there who may be interested.   ;)

 

http://forum.whole30.com/topic/31049-brewer5-no-training-wheels/?p=348884

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Well, I did it.  I finally bit the bullet and ordered a blood ketone meter & some strips.  

 

Precision Xtra meter on walmart.com = $22

 

10 strips on Amazon = $35.99

 

I think I will only measure about once a week, at this cost.  I will research when is the best time of day to do this.  With the Ketonix, my readings were always higher in the evenings for some reason.

 

I don't enjoy my Dino Ketonix.  I am never sure if I am breathing in it long enough / hard enough / last breath enough.  And sometimes it makes me feel like I could pass out.   :blink:   ...I mean, not really, but it doesn't make me feel great.

 

I have people ask me about the Ketonix a lot (since Jimmy talks about measuring so much in the book) ...  I'd really like to hear from Karen and Jess, who have the newer version with the software.  What are your thoughts, thus far?  Are you happy with your purchase?  Do you find it discouraging when you don't see the color you hope to see?  That was my experience in the past.  Lately, I haven't really been "hoping" for a certain color.  As long as I am feeling the benefits, I'm happy.

 

But I've always been curious about the beta-hydroxybuterate readings.  I will report back!

 

 

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Hopefully someone comes out with a cheaper way to test blood ketones. Given the exposure keto has had over the past couple years, I'd like to be optimistic (but I do worry it's a little bit like the whole "vinyl is back!" thing ... well, ya, sure maybe vinyl sales have increased by a large percent in recent years, but it's still just teensy tiny numbers in terms of overall music sales) ...

Something like the "tricorder" that's coming soon, perhaps:

http://tricorder.xprize.org/

or this one maybe:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/903107259/scio-your-sixth-sense-a-pocket-molecular-sensor-fo

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Well, kirkor, I will have to check out those links when I get to sit down later.   :)

 

I want to share this one with everyone (I got from you) -- "Humans ferment fiber into fat":

 

http://profgrant.com/2013/08/13/humans-ferment-fiber-into-fat/

 

Which led me to looking up this guy's books on Amazon and realizing that they BOTH are available on Kindle Unlimited.  Thanks!

 

What the Fat?

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B015VQCH6C?keywords=what%20the%20fat&qid=1451529639&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

 

and 

 

What the Fat?  Sports Performance

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B017GRBF6C?keywords=what%20the%20fat&qid=1451529639&ref_=sr_1_2&sr=8-2

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We don't have the breath ones here, but I found an emotional difference between the coloured Keto Stix (more "hoping") and the boring numbers on the meter.

 

I went from being "pre-diabetic" to "normal", tweaking my diet and measuring blood ketones and blood sugar. I found the best measurement for me was in the morning, just out of the shower (which I do first thing) and before breakfast.

 

I found readings after I ate generally didn't help me much, that "first of the day" reading was a much better marker of my health and progress as it was just my body, nothing influencing it yet.

 

Shop around, weirdly, they're much cheaper in Australia and Canada. I have a very similar meter and Jimmy Moore was really surprised how much cheaper our strips are. My model is called "FreeStyle Optium". Not sure if the numbers we see are the same as yours or not, but I went from between a high 7 to 10, down to 5.5 or lower in blood sugar. W30 gave me the best blood ketone numbers, grains really muck mine up, even in tiny doses. Lack of sleep was also a hindrance. My doc is still shocked I did it without any drugs ;)

 

One thing I liked to do was guess it before I measured (based on how I felt), now I can kind of "feel" my general level.

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Shop around, weirdly, they're much cheaper in Australia and Canada. I have a very similar meter and Jimmy Moore was really surprised how much cheaper our strips are. My model is called "FreeStyle Optium".

Hmmmm, strips can't weigh much ... maybe Brewer & I could get you to mail us a case! scratchchin.gif

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Hey praxisproject, good to hear from you.   :)  Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

Measuring first thing in the morning, after fasting all night, makes the most sense to me, too -- and it is easiest time to remember and have it be consistent, I think.  

 

I'm not sure why my Ketonix reading was always higher in the late evening, right before bed, but I have 2 theories:

 

1)  We have a general bump in blood sugar first thing in the morning... our bodies just do this.  That would probably decrease ketone production at that time.

 

2)  I was eating a lot of coconut products back then -- pureed (like making my own coconut manna) & also MCT oil.  We all know this boosts ketones.

 

Unfortunately -- our numbers are not the same.  I can't tell you how many times I wish on online forums that the whole world just used the same damn units of measurement!   :rolleyes:

 

Thank you for the tip about the strips -- I never even thought of ordering from another country.  I have a few online sites in my "comfort zone" and if I am not familiar with one, I don't chance it.  Do you have any trusted sites for me to check out?

 

Congratulations on taking things into your own hands and turning your health around.  I love stories like these.  It reminds me of this link, which I've said before, I am going to just start throwing out randomly because it's my FAVORITE.  Here it is again, folks:

 

:lol:

 

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I saw a new poster with her "personal rules" today, and it fit right in with the post I've been thinking about making re: 2016 in 2016.  She said:

 

 "This takes time and energy. Be conscious about where the time will come from. It has to come from somewhere."

 

Absolutely.  I've been thinking about all of the different ways I (we) can be more active and get more steps each day.  I am excited for the challenge!   :)

 

​The Christmas tree came down a couple of days ago, and the old treadmill went right in its spot.  I'm not sure how I feel about having that thing in the house again -- but I think it is essential to my success with this, at least in the winter months.

 

From now on, if you see me on the forums -- you can almost bet that I am in motion.   :lol:   I can read and walk.  I can post and walk.  I did it a lot this summer, pacing around and around and around at my kids' football practices, etc.  ...I actually really miss it.

 

We already park way out in the parking lot at the grocery store.  We already wander around and around at the stores to get as many steps as possible.  I've thought about adding in some extra, conscious laps -- like maybe a rule, we have to walk the perimeter of the parking lot before we can go in the store.  ...Oh, the kids would just LOVE me...  hahahaha.  But my husband would like it.  He is step-motivated because he gets to turn his in for gift cards at work!

 

As I said before -- dancing counts.  Marching while brushing your teeth counts.  I pace while I fold laundry.

 

I'd like to make a goal to take the kids to one of our state parks -- this is something we've never done in the wintertime.  I think we should go at least once a month.  Maybe twice a month.  I'll post pics if we actually do this.  I think we should.

 

All sorts of new ideas floating around.  If anyone has any good ones to share -- let's hear it!   :)

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The sneaky people have made sure our strips aren't compatible with your machines I think.

 

But I know some people buy Aussie or Canadian meters, as the strips are so much cheaper.

 

This is my model: http://myfreestyle.com.au/products/freestyle-optium-blood-glucose-monitoring-system/

Our measurement is "millimoles per litre of blood (mmol/L)" but you can use this converter if you want to see how it works out:

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/blood-sugar-converter.html

 

I found ketones would often be higher after I ate, but if it was a bad meal they would be much lower in the morning, so I abandoned all later-day ketone measuring as I found it really didn't help me with anything. Blood sugar ones are kind of helpful, but I often found the numbers really inconsistent. For context, my doc used to describe my blood sugar as "erratic".

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