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Just No Motivation


creativenikki

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Nikki, at 3 months postpartum it's okay to be all over the place. You're allowed to feel a little crappy. You're doing an incredible thing here with your new baby!

If you do think you're experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, please reach out for help and support. If you cannot find a group, consider contacting your obgyn. At least talk to him/her.

Also, I volunteer with Postpartum Support International and we have regular calls and chats with experts, along with a new online support group. If you'd like more info let me know ánd I'm happy to help. Otherwise check out http://postpartum.netfor more info. And hugs to you. Congrats on your new baby!

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Yeah, this depression stinks. I hate feeling this way. I'm going to bring it up with my midwife on Wednesday but I'm worried that they are just going to push antidepressants. I've been there, done that, and I have no desire to go down that road again.

Are you doing anything to treat your depression besides whole 30? I don't even know what I can try.

 

I've been in talk therapy for almost a year because I really didn't want to go the med route either. My doctor was cool with doing just therapy for now and see how I do. Therapy is amazing; helped tremendously, especially after doing a couple of Whole30's last year. Unfortunately, I thought I was "cured" in October and stopped going to therapy (rookie mistake). Things backslid and I had a relapse, so I re-started therapy again before the holidays. My relapse is a big reason I'm in the January Whole30 now, since I know how much food improves my mood. I might need therapy for a long time, but it's way better than the side effects of antidepressants in my book. It is a time commitment, but most insurance companies cover cognitive services these days. 

 

Definitely bring it up to your midwife, she may have some good referrals or recommendations of other treatment options. But please get professional help for your postpartum depression; I am so glad you are reaching out on the forum. No one should have to go through it alone.

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Just an update. I'm feeling better mentally but still very tired. I definitely wonder how well this work when there's very little chance that I'll get 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep even once during this whole 30. It just isn't likely with a 3 month old baby. Even when she sleeps through the night I become engorged and uncomfortable.

Anyway, I pretty much decided that I'm doing a whole 30ish month and support my husband. I'm going to be strict with grains and alcohol. I may end up using small amounts of honey because there is one recipe I just really love that has some (Cuban pork burgers from paleomg). We will see. I don't react badly to dairy so coffee with heavy cream may be consumed. I feel like I just don't have the resolve right now still.

On the plus side I got my IUD yesterday and the insertion was painless. Wow. Apparently having a baby makes a big difference because my previous IUD insertion was not a pleasant experience. Now if only I had any libido at all that would be nice.

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Give yourself a break, Nikki.  The fact that your baby is only 3 months old - man, that's still really new!  Even though it probably seems like much longer, it's not. You're going to be tired, I don't think there's much getting around that for awhile.  The best thing you can do, when one of the pillars of good health is down for the count (sleep, in this case), is to really focus on the others.  Keep your stress as low as possible, eat as well as you can, hydrate as well as you can, get some pleasant exertion when you can.  Strengthen the aspects you can so that your body can support you while your sleep is interrupted and your body is recovering.

 

You'll be alright, and if you decide not to do a Whole30 right now but to just do the best you can, that's totally fine, you have a lot going on!

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Nikki, at 3 months postpartum it's okay to be all over the place. You're allowed to feel a little crappy. You're doing an incredible thing here with your new baby!

If you do think you're experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, please reach out for help and support. If you cannot find a group, consider contacting your obgyn. At least talk to him/her.

Also, I volunteer with Postpartum Support International and we have regular calls and chats with experts, along with a new online support group. If you'd like more info let me know ánd I'm happy to help. Otherwise check out http://postpartum.netfor more info. And hugs to you. Congrats on your new baby!

Thank you. I really don't know if what I'm experiencing qualifies as depression or anxiety. It's not like I'm sad all the time or unable to get out of bed. I get dressed and wear make-up everyday. Most days i exercise and we leave the house. But, I miss how easy things were before my daughter was born. I feel like I should be getting so much done being home like this and yet I actually get almost nothing done. Folding laundry and washing dishes are big accomplishments. It is very hard to turn off the mindset that I should be doing so much more because the old me would have gotten a ton done in a single day. I miss how productive I used to be. Is that just normal adjusting to parenthood or something more? I honestly don't know.

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Thank you. I really don't know if what I'm experiencing qualifies as depression or anxiety. It's not like I'm sad all the time or unable to get out of bed. I get dressed and wear make-up everyday. Most days i exercise and we leave the house. But, I miss how easy things were before my daughter was born. I feel like I should be getting so much done being home like this and yet I actually get almost nothing done. Folding laundry and washing dishes are big accomplishments. It is very hard to turn off the mindset that I should be doing so much more because the old me would have gotten a ton done in a single day. I miss how productive I used to be. Is that just normal adjusting to parenthood or something more? I honestly don't know.

Read this.  Right now.  Seriously.  Stop what you're doing and read it.

 

http://bigcitymoms.com/blog/archive/2014/01/new-mamas-get-nothing-done-and-other-untruths.html

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nikki, this is called Being A Mother.  I had 3 boys in 5.5 years.  That article is spot-on.

 

Laundry and dishes will always be an Accomplishment.  But guess what else?  Letting them go for awhile because you have other, more important things to do.  Letting your husband figure out the damn mess.  THAT is an accomplishment, too.   :lol:

 

My friend laughed at me when I said I "had to make peace with my crumbs".  There are always crumbs on the floor under the table.  ALWAYS.  I made peace with them.  I had to.  Otherwise, I would have lost my freakin mind.

 

I love the part in that article about growing and stretching into your new role.  Seriously.  Two kids stressed me out -- so when #3 came along, I thought, "Holy crap, how am I going to do this?!"

 

Well, you do.  You just... DO.  My #3 was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it *forced* me to focus each day on what matters -- and LET GO of what doesn't.

 

...Oh, and that neat-freak friend who laughed at me for "making peace with my crumbs"?  Guess what.  She got her surprise #3 and made peace with her crumbs, too.  :)

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Read this. Right now. Seriously. Stop what you're doing and read it.

http://bigcitymoms.com/blog/archive/2014/01/new-mamas-get-nothing-done-and-other-untruths.html

That does make me feel better. I'm just struggling to adjust to the new reality. I'm a neat freak, definitely and I'm still adjusting to having baby stuff all over my family room and kitchen. I'm sure I'll get there eventually.

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nikki, this is called Being A Mother. I had 3 boys in 5.5 years. That article is spot-on.

Laundry and dishes will always be an Accomplishment. But guess what else? Letting them go for awhile because you have other, more important things to do. Letting your husband figure out the damn mess. THAT is an accomplishment, too. :lol:

My friend laughed at me when I said I "had to make peace with my crumbs". There are always crumbs on the floor under the table. ALWAYS. I made peace with them. I had to. Otherwise, I would have lost my freakin mind.

I love the part in that article about growing and stretching into your new role. Seriously. Two kids stressed me out -- so when #3 came along, I thought, "Holy crap, how am I going to do this?!"

Well, you do. You just... DO. My #3 was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it *forced* me to focus each day on what matters -- and LET GO of what doesn't.

...Oh, and that neat-freak friend who laughed at me for "making peace with my crumbs"? Guess what. She got her surprise #3 and made peace with her crumbs, too. :)

I'll have to keep this ask I'm mind for my sister who is about to have #2. Two boys under 2. Yikes. She will need these reminders, I think.

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Also don't forget the toll on sleep can wear you out. In the old days there were lots of grandmothers in the village helping with new babies, but it's not always the case these days (and often impractical, some apartments won't fit in a bunch of grandmothers ;) )

 

If you've got anyone asking if there's "anything they can do", get them to mind the baby for awhile, while you have a nap. It's a small thing but it can really make a difference. Sleep deprivation is used as a torture for good reason.

 

Have some fun with your baby too :) that's it's own kind of relaxation

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