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Zoe's W9 Challenge


Zoe

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271

I’m back

Had a couple of days in DONEGAL  - just about as far north and west as you can get in Ireland before falling off and landing in America !!

The views were as usual magnificent and the beaches were empty, windswept, wild and beautiful

It was a time for rest and reflection – well as much as you can with 3 boys in tow

Other than gentle walks and some gentle exercises (squats & press ups) I rested – I never rest

I slept in!! – I never sleep in – especially not for days in a row

I reflected that the last time I was there (last Halloween) I was miserable – coming to terms with my marriage failing / ending

Now I totally realise no matter how awful that is – it is for the best

I reflected that I have to start finding ME again – because for the last 10 years I have been living a “happy marriage” LIE and it has had a big impact on my overall well being

I reflected that I have been trying to be what everyone has expected of me and have completely lost sight of all the things I wanted to do / achieve 25-30 years ago

I am pretty sure having a messed up relationship with my body, food and exercise was not on my “bucket list” back then

So I am going to start doing a “bucket list” thing each year

I am going to take one day at a time – try to have a good day and repeat

FEELING POSITIVE  

:D 

 

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269

Yesterday was also good

Exercise was OK - would have liked to have got out for a walk at lunch but it didn't happen and my circuits class was a bit lame  

My sleep last night was brilliant - I was really conscious about not eating or drinking anything after about 530 and I wonder did I sleep well as my body wasn't processing by the time i got to bed 

Food has been a bit repetitive - I have been working my way through a huge batch of curried mince - but plan lamb chops tonight with salad - I find because I am the only person in my house who eats certain things when I buy them I have to eat them for days

Wednesdays can be a tricky day for me emotionally - don't know why - it is a big house-work night for me and I try to get a walk in once everything is done - it's just pressure to make sure everything is done

I have the added issue of my wayward middle boy today - another meeting at school to try and get him back on track - SIGH 

BREATHE and get on with it 

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268

yesterday was fine - got a couple of walks - enjoyed my grub - slept like a baby

back to liver this morning - had gone off it - but it was just fine with an egg 

was talking with my butcher about beef heart - so may look up a couple of recipes and get one - he says he will chop it up any way i want

what he also said was "in the olden days" he used to stuff lamb hearts and these were very popular as they are more tender - so might look that up too 

BUSY DAY - COFFEE & get on with 

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229

I'm back 

I have been so busy - work and home

I have pretty much nailed my fund raising for EBC - only a couple of hundred to go - didn't realize how stressed out I was by it until I got the guts of the money done

Also have been away - Donegal - fresh air / exercise / living life instead of surviving it - BUT broke a boy - or rather he had a skateboard accident - now plastered - pity they couldn't immobilize his jaw as well as his arm 

I also must confess I have gone crazy re food - had some serious sugar dragon / dairy queen attacks which I am not proud off BUT hopefully that is all out of my system now - I SO CANT DO DAIRY IT KILLS ME

And on the positive my separation with the children's father is getting closer to a sensible conclusion - which is such a huge weight off my mind 

So ...

  • feeling positive
  • keen to get super fit 
  • keen to get nutrition back on track 
  • keen to carry on living life with my wonderful boys rather than tip toeing around their father 

Finally - HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REPEAT

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228

Yesterday - a good day - so repeat 

Had a brilliant sleep last night - but not sure if it was because I had a rubbish sleep the night before

M1 - eggs and smoked salmon - YUM

M2 - tuna salad

M3 - haven't decided - might do another tuna salad

Tonight I plan to go for a run - I have not run for over a year 

I was on hols last week and I always try to walk in the mornings - each morning I tried to put a few more sections of running in 

So now I feel I am ready to go back to running 

I know the general paleo consensus on chronic cardio - but running was the only thing that kept me fit and lean for years 

Now as a much podgier person I want to get the leanness back and increase my cardio fitness

BUT I plan only to run once a week - I used to run the equivalent of a marathon each week before I stopped

Hopefully it will go well 

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227

Sleep last night was good - went to bed a little later and was wrecked so that probably helped

M1 - omelette

M2 - prawn + salad - there were prawns on offer yesterday so bought loads

M3 - liver + salad

Did my first run in over a year last night - went much better than I thought - but think my legs will be sore tommorrow 

Was out for about 90 mins - clearly did not run all of that but I would say I did about 45 mins of intermittent running - it was a lovely evening - I was thankful

Yesterday I met with an ex employee to give her back some personal belongings... I think I gave her some good advice ...

  • Sometimes we sit in life and it is not working out and we are miserable - so when we finally decide to move on we can find it is so much better and wonder why we did not do it sooner
  • I was delighted for her - she looked so much better and was happier

I should listen to myself more often and take my own advice

I took yesterdays encounter as the one good thing the universe will throw at me in a day

Maybe there will be another epiphany today  

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226

Another good night of sleep 

M1 - liver, egg and leaves (had kidney last night instead) + grapes

M2 - probably a tuna salad

M3 - smoked salmon salad + egg

Legs are much less sore than I thought they would be which is good - did some squats 1st thing to get them moving

April is W9 stress management - HA - never going to happen this April - I have been refereeing since 0730 this morning 

  • Boy 2 antagonizes boy 1 (the black belt) and wallops him - not what I would consider to be a sensible move
  • Boy 1 goes to kill boy 2 - clearly I intervene and separate boys 
  • Boy 2 snipes about anger management 
  • Boy 1 goes into melt down with mum for not supporting him while he kills boy 2
  • Mum attempts to explain she would prefer boy 1 to not end up in juvenile detention with a criminal record
  • By 0800 mum is the worst in the world - YOU CAN'T WIN

So I am going to swap April for June - NATURAL ENVIRONMENT- gardening / walks / runs etc

Sounds pathetic but I have to learn to cut the grass but I am sure it will be easier than the impression I have from my ex about how hard it is !! (I HOPE)  

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224

Was so busy yesterday 

I had a curried mince day - YUM

Ended the day with spinning / flipping tyres and dynamic yoga

TODAY 

m1 - finished the mince

m2 - was bad and had some dates with parma ham - an indulgence

m3 - kidney / leaves / olives / egg ?

Hope to get out for a walk this evening - will see how wrecked I am after house cleaning / chores / cooking etc...

Met with a colleague of mine a couple of days ago - he has a new mantra - doing nothing is not an option anymore - so no more sticking your head in the sand - good advice indeed

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222

Today is pork mince day - did a batch at b'fast - it will last the whole day

Work is SO busy - just about keeping on top of it 

Incidentally I was going to consider that as my theme for this year ...

 

"BEING ON TOP OF THINGS" - literally & figuratively

 

Exercise today - morning squats / press ups etc, then tonight willpower and grace + some tyre flipping - oh and hope to get a 30 min lunch time walk in 

Exercise yesterday was OK - swim x 1 km / walk with weights (16 kg) for 2 hours

I used to do weights on a Sunday evening but have lost momentum - must get that back up and running again - even if it is only 15-20 mins 

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221

OK so today is going to be a bit hit and miss

M1 - eggs

M2 - mackerel salad

M3 - probably will not get as going for a run tonight - might get a couple more eggs

My head is away with it - forgot to take out kids dinner - how could I forget !!! I have only been feeding them for 14 years 

SIGH !!....

GET HEAD STRAIGHT - BE ON TOP OF THINGS !!

Go get a cup of coffee and get stuck in 

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220

Did my run last night - ran and ran - it was good - did not feel overwhelmed and was able to go further which allowed me to get to the beach and run along the coast - it was good for the soul - will try to get a bit further round the cost next week

I know I had said I would only run once a week BUT I might do a Wed night as well for 8 weeks as I will have a slot while Boy 2 does hockey talent development

Sleep last night was just ok - was late getting back and a bit buzzed

Was on the scales this morning - so hoping that they will go down - but I seem stuck at the moment

Boy 1 had feedback from his hockey talent development that he needed to improve aerobic activity so I have suggested we sprint up the local hill once a week - I have been reluctant to sprint but maybe this will give me renewed vigor and might just get the scale moving in the right direction

M1 - Omelette

M2 - Tuna salad

M3 - Liver / leaves / olives 

I have been contemplating my sugar dragon - I get worse the longer I abstain - so contemplating a spoon of molasses on a regular basis to see if that does the trick - I have a notion that abstaining is worse for me than a sensible regular planned off road

Ciao

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219

 

jmcbn - thanks for the tip - we should listen to ourselves more often - our bodies are smarter than we think !!

 

Yesterday saw the anniversary of the day when I broke my marriage off - tomorrow is the date - so I guess today is as good a day to reflect

WHAT A MESS...

In a whole year he has done little to nothing to win me back (not sure if I was winnable back - but the notion of him trying might have been nice - but then again maybe not as you make decisions like that for a reason)

I have had too many lows in the last year (and in the years before)

I have been blamed for everything and I guess it will continue

But coming back to our bodies being smarter than we think - my gut feel was it was too wrong for too long - finally I trusted my instinct 1 year ago - well it was more like my instinct let loose

This is why I wanted to do the W9 challenge - to heal / mend / revitalise - is it working ? - yet to be seen

Think I needed to get to this point to get a whole year under my belt - all the anniversaries / birthdays / events done  

I don't think I am the type to wallow in self pity (more his thing) but I have had my moments

I am going to take today as the start of the rest of my life (I know sounds a bit dramatic / corny) - I have had a year to mourn, grieve and reflect - but it is enough now and time to move on properly

My kids need me more than ever now - so I have to be fighting fit emotionally and physically to deal with what ever the universe throws at me

Wish me luck

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Wish me luck

Wishing you the best...

I've come from the same place myself - although I've a few more years under my belt. It's not easy, but it's better, and it gets better too.

Hang in there - you're doing all the right things for you & your boys.

I read >this< the other day & it really resonated with me - it let me know that even if some days I don't where I'm headed that I'm still on the right path...

 

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218 

how annoying - just got kicked out before I posted 

dont have time to redo 

but 

feeling good 

sleep good

turkey curry today 

plenty of nice exercise

& hopefully a low stress day

lets go - got a day to do  

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216

OK so I tried the molasses experiment 

The plan was to have a spoonful of molasses to avoid abstaining completely from something sweet and to ease fighting the sugar dragon

WELL ... the plan did not work one spoonful was NOT enough neither was two - at three I threw the jar out

SO ... back to my silly little habit of 2 dates each time I visit the butcher (the grocers is next door and they sell fresh dates) - which is a snack and a treat 

Read somewhere recently you should not reward yourself with food - you do this for dogs - but the silly little date habit is back and I am happy and content with that for now

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215

Sleep great - but feeling ever so slightly groggy this morning 

I am on a turkey curry day 

Did my morning exercises / hopefully will get a walk at lunch / will power & grace this evening 

Have to take a 1/4 day to day - plastered boy needs re-assessed - maybe this time I will get his jaw done !!!

Going to give eggs a rest for a couple of weeks - so need to do a check on provisions - eggs are a big component of b'fast for me

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213

Had a super day of exercise yesterday - was at a conference so was able to walk there and back - followed by a good long run which ended with a fabulous sunset over the lough

BUT woke up this morning puffy and bloated...

  • cant get rings on 
  • cant get clothes on

SIGH - after all that good exercise - I know I was thirsty yesterday and I drank loads of water BUT I really get down when I puff up for no apparent reason

 

Today

M1 - mackerel salad / handful raisins

M2 - probably tuna salad

M3 - liver or kidney and greens + dates x 2 treat

 

Hope to get out for a lunch time walk - the sky is blue (makes a change) and might get a Vit D top up 

Had planned to get out for a walk this evening - but my plans have been scuppered by Boy 2 charity film night at school 

 

My conference yesterday was a let down - It was about good mental health in the workplace - there was nothing new / nothing I didn't know already - sadly no epiphany 

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212

Sleep was grand - woke up once - but got back to sleep quickly 

Scales still not budging - I am weighing in with another colleague - we hope to shed a pound a week - I wish

Was so busy this morning - I hate when you are mildly agitated by 0750 in the morning with the rest of the day to go

M1 - liver and greens

M2 - probably tuna salad

M3 - smokes salmon salad / olives / capers etc - usually have an egg on top so will miss that tonight

Exercise today - morning squats etc / it looks like a beautiful day so a lunch time walk / HOPEFULLY will get an evening walk too 

On top of that I have a house to clean 

Coffee callls

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211

I am utterly fed up 

I am still bloated - worse than ever

I started eating paleo over 2 years ago 

I have followed W30 on and off for 1 1/2 years

I have done AIP

I really hoped paleo would be the way forward for me to get my hormones / weight balanced for the long term

But I think things are getting worse

It is so frustrating - I eat clean most of the time / I exercise / I get outside when I can

It seems the more I restrict the more sensitive I get - the more I need to restrict - SIGH

There are some days I just hate food

I feel like I am playing food roulette - what is it going to do to me today ?  

Rant over

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208

w'end was ok 

got some good exercise in 

got some good food in

worked my sox off in the house - cleaned from top to bottom - it needs work BUT another day / month / year

sleep was not as good as i had hoped 

still the scale does not budge - sigh - in fact it has gone up

i have a busy week ahead - so better get a coffee on the go and get started 

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194

Back again

Have been so busy - with work / home / walking / fund raising 

Since I last posted I have given up coffee - I have done this many times before 

After a day of pure head ache hell the deed was done 

Since then sleep has been better - didn't think it would be but it is - I did have a cup early one day last week but it did not hamper sleep and although it was lovely I felt it was not a "crutch" - havent bothered with one since then

Have also been keeping an eye on fat consumption - problem being when the fat goes out something has to go in - in my case fruit consumption has gone up - but maybe that will be ok over the summer

Also being conscious about salt

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193

My sugar dragon has been out already this morning

I don't know what starts it - it is frustrating

I gave it some honey and hope that will do the trick

Sometimes fighting it ends up worse

It is big run night tonight - hope my joints hold up - my knee was a bit sore last week

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