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Zoe's W9 Challenge


Zoe

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192

Did my big run last night - enjoyed it

We have had some lovely weather here the last few days - so it was nice to be in some sunshine

I see today we are back to cold wet and miserable

This is a pity as the sun lifts everyone's spirits

NOW WORK

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191

Was double booked last night - boy 1 had to go to an extra hockey assessment- boy 2 had hockey development

Boy 3 had to drop his activities - much explaining needed !!!

Shopping had to be put back (even the delivery guy commented that I usually do the 7-8 slot and asked had there been a problem - sad to have such a regimented life)

BUT on the positive side of things - Boy 3 and I had a lovely walk round a local country park - we got to talk / we were in the fresh air / it was calming

Boy 3 did OK - he got a "mum guilt" comic

2 bigger meals today to fit around other stuff

M1 - liver / leaves / egg / grapes - have really eased off on eggs - aiming for 2-3 a week

M2 - s'salmon salad

Hope to get a walk at lunch and a training walk before bedtime

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190

Fri 13 - I'm not superstitious BUT you are never too sure what a Friday the 13th will bring

I am going through a real fruit phase - meat and veg are just not doing it for me

Not sure if it is down to the nice weather we are having but only cold fruit and weirdly sauerkraut (straight from the fridge) are ticking the boxes

Oh and freezing cold soda water

Exercise today will be - walk at lunch / spinning / yoga and I will round off the evening with a sauna

Bye for now

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186

Feeling sad today

Will be going to a funeral later on and was feeling generally down about that

Have come into work and heard about someone trying to slit their throat - wrists I get (I think) but it must take a certain kind of person to embark on slitting their throat

I know I have my moments of feeling down - but I can usually pull through with a hug / cry / walk etc...

I have been re-reading Chris Kresser's personal paleo diet - wellbeing is so much more than the food we eat

I know I had swapped my whole 9 monthly topics around a bit but with all that is going on at the moment I feel the need to get socialisation back on track

I know this is a bit disjointed but my head is all over the place today

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186 # 2

Worse than I thought

The funeral brought lots of things to the surface

My friend was sad and grieving - that made me sad - she looked older and haggard - that also made me sad

Her mum died at the age of 89 loved and loving - if only all of us could say that

Her dad died only 6 months ago - arguably mum just wanted to be with dad after over 70 years of marriage

It made me sad to think of my opportunities lost & time wasted

It made me sad to think the mess I am in at the moment and how and when I will get fully clear of it

It generally made me think about friends and family and making time for the social side of life - my social life has been sort of on hold during my marriage break

I am generally going from one drama to the next crisis while running the household / job / kids etc

My general observation is "civilisation" is not all it is cracked up to be

We are killing ourselves with food

We are depressing ourselves with lack of real community

We are frazzled and stressed trying to meet everyone else expectations and we frazzle and stress others by expecting of them

SIGH

I know it is not meant to be easy BUT you do hope things will get better and sometime soon

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It made me sad to think of my opportunities lost & time wasted

It made me sad to think the mess I am in at the moment and how and when I will get fully clear of it

It generally made me think about friends and family and making time for the social side of life - my social life has been sort of on hold during my marriage break

I am generally going from one drama to the next crisis while running the household / job / kids etc

When my parents celebrated their 50th anniversary a few years ago I really felt the 'opportunities lost' thing. Many of my friends (or rather my exes friends) are approaching the 25yr milestone and I know that for me that will never be. And since they are my exes friends I've pretty much lost those friendships too.

It wasn't until about this time last year that I really took stock of where I was, what I was doing, where I was headed, what I wanted out of life for ME... Up until then I'd been surviving - going from day to day, putting my energy into my training, juggling work & kids, & ignoring me.

I'm not even sure what it was that made me take that good long hard look at myself, but I didn't like what I saw, so I took steps to change things - not big steps, but steps all the same, and every day I take a step forward. Some times I still take a few steps back, but I've nourished relationships with friends (especially) & with family, and so even if I *do* take the odd step back I'm still miles ahead of where I was and I have the support network in place to keep me driving forward.

I'd agree - civilisation is not all it's cracked up to be - but all you need is a small circle of friends to protect you from that big bad world, or to at least be available every now & then to help you put that big bad world to rights...

 

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185

jmcbn - thanks for the supportive words

The sadness is still lingering - probably fueled by a full blown row with boy 2

I know our lives are stressful at the moment and the boys Dad has not been making that any easier

BUT you do wonder what switch goes on inside your child's head that suddenly makes them hate you

You cook for them / you clean for them / you wash for them / you taxi them / you try and guide them / you try and broaden their horizons

You try and get them up in the morning so they are fed and not late for school

AND they "STOMP" and do the "I HATE YOU" look

I wouldn't mind so much if school days were the exception - but we do it 220 days of the year for 15 years per boy

You would think it would become a habit rather than a fight each morning

Rant over

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184
And still the sadness lingers

Coffee has wormed its way back into my life
I don't mind I know I will drop it again when I need to
I do enjoy my coffee - it has a social side to it
I also love the smell of a coffee shop - coffee / goodies (goodies not for me - dreaded gluten & dairy)
BUT I have been observing more and more when I visit them that people are getting bigger - actually its just everywhere
People just seem to be getting more and more inflamed - that will be the mocha - choca - frappe - latte - caramel thingy with cream on top & and bun for good measure !!!

I really shouldn't pass judgement I do allow my kids to indulge - but these occasions are treats 

I wonder when we will suddenly realise that a mocha - choca - frappe - latte - caramel thingy with cream on top has about 2 meals worth of calories in it 

Anyway - got to go 

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180

So I really eased off on exercise last week - boy can I notice the difference

But feel really to go for it again

You can normally tell what day it is by what I am doing 

 

Mon - morning exercises (squat / cross crawl / press up) - lunch walk - evening willpower and grace + flipping tyres

Tue - morning exercises - lunch walk - evening run

Wed - morning exercises - lunch walk

Thur - morning exercises - lunch walk - evening training walk

Fri - morning exercises - lunch walk - evening spin / flipping tyres then yoga

Sat - morning exercises - rush around like a demented mum !!! - evening training walk

Sun - swim - training walk or out with boys on bikes -  rush around like a demented mum !!! - take boy swimming 

 

Don't know if this looks like a lot or not much to others - but some of it I don't really consider exercise eg lunch walks even my 1 km swim I don't get worked up about as it only takes 25 mins

BUT IT WAS GOOD TO TAKE A BREAK

 

I have been taking my youngest swimming on a sun evening - he swims like an epileptic frog - he uses about 100 times more energy that I do when he is swimming as he flaps about so much - SO in an effort to be a good mum I have been trying to coach him - it is a slow process - when you can swim it is hard to appreciate how all that flapping about can take it out of you - but he is slowly getting better (he does everything slowly) - managed to get it into his head last night that he still needs to use his arms and legs when he breathes or he will SINK !! 

 

Also had a lovely cycle yesterday with eldest - he is good to cycle with - he doesn't do stupid things when we are on the roads / he has good pace and can do a good long cycle without getting tired &/ grumpy (middle boy needs fed regularly as he uses up energy so quickly) which means we can get to more interesting places. 

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178

Quick catch up 

Feeling lousy / sluggish 

Not sure if it is the aftermath of taking it easy for a week on the exercise

OR it is another sensitivity coming up

DEEP JOY

My money is on eggs / coffee

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177

Still feeling rotten 

Something is clearly working on me

Coffee out again - slight head ache - will see if that works

The irony is I have been sleeping well / resting and generally trying to minimise stress

SIGH 

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170

The sun is shining 

Another beautiful day 

Life without coffee going well - getting out of the habit of it 

Have been busy reading Allen Carr - don't even know what lead me to his work - but anyway

Did the "How to stop smoking" 1st - I have never smoked but found the read very interesting and a good information base if my kids ever go down that route and I got his principle 

Did the "How to control alcohol" next - again a very interesting read and a useful thing to have up your sleeve as a mum

Ironically just after I finished this book I was staying with friends and brought them a bottle of wine - alcohol is so ingrained in society - a poison so taken for granted - this book really changed my perspective on alcohol

Finally I have been reading "loose weight now" - I have a bit of weight to loose and any different perspective is always nice - I have enjoyed this book - he proposes vegetarianism which is not for me but I like his take on being informed / ignoring societies brainwashing / making a decision for you and standing over that decision 

Z

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169

The sun is still shining - its fab

I had been taking a little coconut oil to see if I could tolerate it and things seemed to be going well

So I decided (STUPIDLY) that I would get a coconut

It was happily bashed open 

It was not happily digested - stomach cramps for hours (although better than my raw cauliflower incident earlier this year - felt rubbish for days then)

SO coconut oil OK - BUT boy 2 can finish off the NUT

Fortunately I have learned my lesson with my other NO GO fat - I will never do another avocado again

z

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166

We are still having sun - we normally get liquid sunshine - its fab

Did a long walk yesterday 

Don't know if it is being paleo or just me BUT I yomped yesterday for 3 hours up cavehill a few times with my backpack on (18 kg) and although I was thirtsy at the end (quenched with a freezing cold grapefruit) it really didn't fizz on me 

I only say this as I saw loads of people & dogs exhausted / hot / bothered drinking fizzy drinks and eating sugary stuff to keep them going 

You forget how wet and hydrating real food is

Z

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165

The liquid sunshine has returned 

I woke early this morning and thought I hadn't slept well until someone told me there had been torrential rain and a thunder storm - slept through it like a baby

I have continued increasing my fruit - I am loving it 

Other favourite foods at the minute are ice berg lettuce (which I could eat all day) and tomatoes and peppers - both of which I haven't eaten for a long time (nightshades) but my head hasn't fallen off yet so I guess they are ok for the time being 

Z

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164

Had my long run last night - it was hot - I probably walked more than previous times BUT the beach was beautiful

Slept like a baby - did wake early though 

I have a busy day today 

Got to get through work 

Have a meeting late afternoon which may be emotional 

Get home - boy 2 to hockey / boy 3 to cricket 

BAKE BAKE BAKE - have buns and biscuits to do - NOT PALEO / NOT W30 - but everything will be gluten free

I have a fund raising coffee morning tomorrow - this is my last official fund raising activity - I hope it goes well 

Z

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163

Today is my fund raising coffee morning - slow but steady - this is good

The Allen Carr books have shook me a bit particularly re addiction to food

Having watched people this morning - people love sugar / coffee / dairy / chocolate - creamy & gooey and sweet - or are they addicted - I am pretty sure I was addicted

Anyway back to normality

Z  

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162

Still Allen Carr is nagging away at the back of my head 

Addictions to food - thinking these are your favourite foods when they really are not 

Eating what we were meant to eat - fruits and vegs / nuts and seeds

I have never thought about vegetarianism but the thought of food rotting inside you because we were never meant to digest meat has unsettled me 

Might do a week of fruit and veg and see how I feel - summer is definitely the time to try - could eat salad all day

z

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