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Doing it right this time?!


morganbrooke

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So, to start off with here's my story and I apologize ahead of time if it's all over the place since I wrote it quickly:

Towards the beginning of 2012 I realized I had gained a lot of weight in the previous year or so since starting at the company I work for (Desk job!), so in order to combat this I tried the typical method - 1200 calorie diet and the treadmill a couple times a week. After not seeing the results I wanted fast enough it soon spiraled into anorexia and I went 2 months of eating nothing before my fiancee found me help with an amazing group of guys at a company called LEAF who specialize in health, nutrition, personal training and wellness in general. I managed to start eating real foods from great sources. (Love your local farmers!) However I was still and still am obsessed with food in general and my weight (I would take 3 hours to eat a tiny meal just because I was so obsessed with food due to anorexia, I'd guess). I have done one whole30 but feel that I missed the point because I still have a horrible relationship with food. I had been so obsessed and stressed with eating clean that when I finished my first "whole30" I tried some of that Arctic Zero ice cream and got so addicted I was eating 3 pints a day and planning my meals around it - it ended up with a 4000 calorie binge. I have been constantly stressing myself out over food and weight. I currently weigh in at 102lbs after the binge but the week before I was hovering around 96-97lbs (Before the anorexia battle I was 150-160lbs). I am 5'4 and quite small now, but I do still have a tummy I'd like to flatten out - but more than anything now I'd like to have a healthy relationship with food and be able to train with my trainer and actually be able to gain muscle. So here I am, starting my REAL whole30 tomorrow, 9/26/2012 and doing it right this time. It wont be easy to let go of these obsessions but I feel like posting here will help me and I'm excited to start making improvements.

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