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Dear Mac + Cheese...

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Hey you,


I can't believe it's been over a month since we last met. That's easily the longest we've gone without seeing each other since college - but maybe even since I was a little kid.


In your absence I've been doing some thinking.  It's not easy for me to say these things, but they've been on my mind for a while and it's time I got them out. 


You are my oldest and most reliable friend, my anchor. The rhythm of your ritual and dependability of your taste are visceral comforts to me.  Since elementary school, any time I've felt insecure or incompetent I've put myself through the steps: water, noodles, butter, cheese packet, milk. And I drink in the hot, buttery, salty, nirvana and know that I am capable and that I am loved.


But the thing is, "blue box," it was my own dependability and competence that saw me through.  You were just the medium I used.  In our time apart I took a rather extreme eating challenge and found a better way to love myself.  And when I do that, I actually feel more competent than I ever did with you, because this food actually makes me healthier.


Now, this letter isn't goodbye. You're still invited to my birthday party, of course! But we won't be meeting under the same desperate circumstances we used to. You were never able to bear the emotional load that I poured into you, anyway. 


Thank you for all you've given me.

Love always,


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