art cabana jojo

Peer pressure is more difficult to resist than sugar.

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Why is it that NOT DRINKING is such a huge deal... and by NOT DRINKING.. i mean not drinking an alcoholic beverage... who gives a @#!*** what is in my glass... (what are you drinking?... oh seltzer water... WHAT?... WHY???... oh i am just going a month without alcohol... a program i am doing... WHY??  that is CRAZY... just don't eat junk food... just exercise more... just do this just do that... blah blah blah...)  i walked around last night at a charity event wine tasting with a small amount of wine in my glass just to avoid the judgment and the questions... and i am not 17... i am over 50... after the event everyone was going out for pizza... i just went home to avoid a disaster..... (come on... just one won't hurt... seriously one piece of pizza isn't going to kill you... don't be so strict... you're not chubby... you look great why on this crazy diet... ITS NOT A DIET!!!!!)... so i am pledging to myself to never ask someone again... what are you drinking?... and possibly it is easier to just be a recluse. ... thank you for letting me vent... have a good day.

 

PS.. in my friends' defense.. they just want me to be happy and i think they feel like if i am not enjoying all life has to offer or i am restricting what i can and can't do/eat/drink that i must be unhappy and thinking i need improvement and they want to assure me that i am fine and should just relax and enjoy good food, good wine, good friends.. good weekends!... but it's day 12 for me and i am just now starting to feel really good... rested.. didn't realize how bloated i was... my head feels clear on a saturday morning!  yeah!!.... now THAT's the way to enjoy a weekend

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I haven't been a drinker my entire life, so I completely understand where you're coming from! People seem to get insulted if you tell them you don't want any alcohol. I've always just politely said, "No thank you" to most drinks that I'm offered, and they ask me if something is wrong. Every now and then, when something sounds good to me and I decide I would like to try it (MAYBE once or twice a year... so rare and I never finish it), they get SO excited and run around offering me more and more. It's insane. So I'm used to this aspect of it, fortunately.

 

My boyfriend and I went out with friends on Thursday night and did a lot of thinking/planning to come up with a compliant dinner, but ALL our friends were trying to shove beer in his face (which was SO hard for him because he LOVES beer). It's like you're committing a social faux pas because you aren't drinking with them!

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I agree with you, I just went out with friends to dinner and a comedy show on day 16, and because I have gotten a cold, they blame it on my "crazy diet" and tell me I "should just drink a beer" and I would be fine. I have a poor immune system, one of my motivations for doing whole30, so being sick really doesn't mean much to me!

They all mean well, my friends too, but change makes folks uncomfortable, and I think sometimes when you choose to do something different, your friends start to evaluate themselves....and don't necessarily want to! :) keep up the great work!!

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Yep, its like you have to part of the drinkers club.. if your not on board they're unhappy.. I get it all the time.. I travel periodically back and forth to a quaint little Mexican Island.. Its like if you're not drinking theres something wrong with you.. 

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Before I gave up juice, I would go to the bar and ask them to pour me a cranberry juice in a red wine glass. If anyone asked what I was drinking, I'd say it was "a house red".

Now I'll take a real glass of wine, make the toast, set the glass down and go get a glass of water and drink that instead. Nobody cares as long as you have that full drink close at hand.

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Great topic jojo, I spent 4 years telling lies why I wasn't drinking to avoid telling people I was doing IVF. Well 6 years on (and 4.yo twins ) when I decided to do the programme I was going to tell the truth. I am naturally thin so people tut if I ever say the word diet so I have been saying I am on a huge health kick and exercise programme and alcohol is totally out of bounds. I then start to wax lyrical about the programme and they usually get bored! It feels so much better to just tell the truth and not worry about what people think. I agree that it actually makes your friends think a bit more about their lifestyles and I have found they are starting to ask questions!

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"they feel like if i am not enjoying all life has to offer or i am restricting what i can and can't do/eat/drink that i must be unhappy"

 

This is also why people feel the need to encourage celiacs to eat wheat (cos ya know, that's bound to be fun!), alcoholics to drink, tiny children to consume junk food, it's conditioning that eating junk and indulging in things that are bad for you is somehow looking after yourself emotionally. Which is really so wrong it's not something most of them will be up for discussing.

 

I always bring that conversation back to choice. It's my choice and I don't want it.

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Find new friends! Mine have all been 100% supportive. They would kill me if I fell off the wagon!

I tell people who aren't close to me when they ask why I'm not eating this or that, or not drinking, that I'm on an elimination diet to see what I'm intolerant of. They just say, "Oh!"

This is mostly because I've tried to diet so many times, they would just see it as another failed attempt about to happen.

Your healthy choices can also force them to look at their unhealthy choices, and NOBODY likes that!!!

Rise above it!

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it is difficult, but if you explain the reasons why, and don't call it a diet, most people get it.  If someone is still trying to force alcohol on you then you need to rethink that relationship.

 

I make homebrew wine and cider, not so much recently, and I'm on the organising committee of The Home Brew Festival - which is where loads of home brewers get together to share their concoctions.  I'm going, in early June, but I'm not sure yet how much I'll drink, if anything.  I'm not currently on a W30, but am trying to stick to meal plans as much as possible.  I know what alcohol can do to me, and I hate the mornings after, or trying to drive home, techinically sober, but feeling like a sack of crap.  I've had too many nights previously where I've lost memory of events.  It's not a nice feeling.

However, on the plus side I've had plenty of nights with friends where I've maybe had only one or two drinks, and got home at a reasonable time, and felt fine, so I know that I can restrict it, and minimise it sometimes, but I also know that my wife and I also use alcohol as a crutch when we're very stressed - which is not good.

 

live your own life - answer truthfully, your true friends will understand, and respect you for it.

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 Here's how I handle it:

nosy person: "why aren't you drinking?!"

me: "because I don't want to"

NP: "why?!"

me: "*shrugs* because I don't. You can drink for both of us if you want"

usually gets a laugh and a change in conversation.  

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I'm really lucky in my circles of friends and family, there are a couple alcoholics that don't drink, and my BFF is actually allergic to alcohol, so I rarely get questioned... but if you need an 'excuse' (not that you ever actually need one) not to drink?

"I'm driving tonight."

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If someone is really pressuring someone else to drink, that's a reflection on them, not the non-drinker. If someone really can't let it go, I'd simply ask "Why is it so important to you?" and let them ponder that awhile.

Stephanie

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I had loads of people analyzing my eating & drinking habits over the past month (I finished round 1, took about 10 days off and I'm starting again today). I had some serious NSVs to share from the very first day and found so many people had great questions. I loved chatting up W30. I started it because I was having problems with migraines and had just previously identified and solved blood sugar problems (not diabetes, thank goodness!). I think some people stopped asking why I wasn't drinking because my answer could be 30 minutes long. LOL!!!

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