Starting my first W30 on April 1!

[prynceszh]

It's not an April Fool's prank, I swear 

 

Hi everyone, I'm Ren! I'm hoping to find some support/accountability here since I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this in person. I'm 21, graduating from college in May. When I lived at home, I used to be thin (5'2.5", 105 lbs) without paying much to exercise/nutrition because my mom cooked most of my meals (asian, so it was 99% veggies and rice). After I turned 21, I did an internship during the summer, and the combination of stress + legal drinking + eating out every day led me to put on about 10 lbs during the course of the 3 months.

 

When I got back home, I moved out on my own. I tried to lose the weight I gained for vanity reasons by calorie counting, dieting, exercising, etc. I managed to lose about 3 lbs before becoming obsessed with food, binge eating, losing my period, and injuring myself from inadequate recovery. Then I gained the weight I lost back and then some. My diet also changed drastically since moving out and I've been experiencing digestive issues since then and can't pinpoint the cause. I have seen doctors for my physical ailments and am recovering but I've still been struggling with my relationship with food. I'm hoping that the Whole30 will be able to reset my mindset because I'm tired of feeling powerless.

 

I set my start date so far out because I'm trying to absorb as much information as I can (jumping into strict diets is what landed me here in the first place  ) and also figure out what to do with all the non-compliant foods in my apartment. I hate wasting food and a lot of it is stuff that would be weird to give to other people (half-eaten jars of hummus, 5 bagels, etc.). What did you guys do with your perishable non-compliant foods?

 

Also I would appreciate any insight from women who have been through similar situations and have (or haven't) overcome it. I didn't realize how terribly I was treating my body until none of my clothes fit anymore and it became impossible for me to do the things I used to love.

[johnson.renee84]

I just joined the forum to see if anyone else will be starting April 1st, and lo and behold… here you are!! 

My name is Renée, I am a physical therapist with some of my own health issues… some of which include no longer having a period, issues with swelling, weight gain, chronic fatigue, digestive issues, overeating/binge eating combined with skipping meals all together… to name a few! I am hoping that this lifestyle change will improve things for me, so that I can focus on my patients instead of being a patient. 

I followed Mark Sisson's primal blueprint style of eating for about 9 months in 2013, but I have been struggling to get back to it ever since, and each time I try to start fresh I end up failing. I am hoping that a new, but similar, philosophy/perspective will re-inspire me - hence Whole30! 

It sounds like you and I have similar health struggles, and also similar goals for starting this challenge. I look forward to having your support and giving my own support to you throughout the month of April (and beyond). Accountability can really aide us both in this process as well, so feel free to message me whenever you want or need! You can also find me on instagram (@nene.bird). 

[katieblue]

Hi Ren and Renee! I'm Katie, and I was actually really relieved to find this thread! Really similarly to you ladies, I have a history with being thin (I'm 5'3, 25 years old, and was 110 pounds up until I was about 22). When I moved in with my boyfriend, I gained just a little weight, but it freaked me out so much I started chronically restricting food, which then led to bingeing, and more restricting, for a few years. In that course of time, I lost my period also, dealt with serious chronic fatigue, and gained about 12 more pounds (I was hovering around 122 when I last weighed myself before starting the Whole30 I'm in now). 

 

I have always had depression and anxiety, and I had noticed after doing a 30-day sugar cleanse that my attitude changed a lot. So I found the Whole 30, and I'm just finishing up my first one tomorrow. I've seen such a dramatic emotional improvement that I have already scheduled another one to start April 1st after some reintroductions just to see how I react to certain things. Physically, I haven't seen any real changes; my clothes don't fit any better than they did at the start, I still get regular headaches, no period or sex drive to be found anywhere, and I'm exhausted all the time. But I'm able to eat as much as I want, and to feel good about doing so. My relationship with food and with my body have both improved. I don't always hate the person I see in the mirror - sometimes I actually like her and think she looks kind of good. And that alone is enough for me to believe that some people just need more than 30 days to repair all the damage they've done to themselves - so I want to go further and see where this will go.

[Heather Lynn]

I too am planning to start on April 1! I am putting our whole family on it. Time to reset us all.

[RunnerDenise]

I'm starting my second Whole30 on April 1! Like Renee, I'm also a physical therapist I've had many of the issues you all describe above. I did my first Whole30 last June and loved how it made me feel ( at the end...it was pretty ugly for the first week or so). I am excited for round 2!

[johnson.renee84]

Katie, 

 

I wanted to thank you for your honesty and to piggy back on a few things you have said. I too have struggled with a poor relationship with food and I am so proud of you for taking this leap. The most important thing that you wrote, in my opinion, was that you actually like the person in the mirror. I have been struggling with amenorrhea since I was also 25 and I am now 31, it has been very frustrating but something I have had to come to terms with is that even without that piece intact, I am still vital… I am still alive… and I want to enjoy every bit of my life. Loving yourself is a huge step in loving your life.  I believe that the Whole30 is meant to be a start to a complete lifestyle change. It gives individuals who are overwhelmed by giving up sugar and grains and dairy and alcohol all at once a light at the end of the tunnel (like, ok I can do this only ___ many days left). I'm not saying that it won't also be difficult for someone like you, or me, but for people who can sometimes go many hours and days without ANY food… it isn't as crazy of an idea to take this journey. I just want to you to know that I am very moved by your post and that I think you are doing it for all the right reasons… stay strong!! 

 

Renée

[katieblue]

Renee, thank you so much for the kind, heartfelt words. It has definitely been challenging, but today is my last day, and I actually did it. No self-sabotage, and the mean self-talk started to disappear about halfway through week 3. It's still there, occasionally, but way less loud. I stopped lifting up my shirt every time I stepped in front of the mirror to check on my stomach. I haven't gotten on a scale since before the program - and I don't know if I'm going to tomorrow, either. I haven't entirely stopped trying to count calories (sometimes if I feel I over-ate I try to figure it out in my head to see if it's really that bad) but I have stopped obsessively logging everything. I'm not sure what the results will be for you, or any of these other lovely ladies, but I think you're right when you describe it as a light at the end of the tunnel. It really can transform a relationship with food, and with yourself. Sugar, gluten, grains, dairy, etc. All can play an enormous part in the way we feel. And I'm also proud of you (all of you!) for taking this step to commit to this program, too. I'm so sorry you've been struggling for so long, but I really do believe this undertaking can and will help you. It may not solve everything, but it can help, and definitely put you on the right path!

Also, as you said, feel free to PM me or anything anytime. One of the best parts of the first Whole 30 is the amazing support network that exists on this site.

You're amazing, and we can and will do this.

Xo

Katie

[Heather Lynn]

For me, I have high blood pressure, major depression, weight gain, and major cravings/food addiction. I finally gave in and went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago. She put me on blood pressure and depression medications. However, I haven't even filled them. I hate medication and want to give my all to cleaning my system and see what it does. I am going into this starting the Whole30, but accpeting that if I don't get the results I hope, to extend it to 45, 60, etc.

[prynceszh]

Katie, I really appreciate your insight - it's refreshing to hear something a little bit different than "I lost 20 lbs and 4 dress sizes and my life is perfect now!" which is inspiring but not all that realistic. I'm not expecting a single month to drastically change my appearance but I'm hoping it'll kick start a better relationship with my body so that I can be happy with myself again while working towards a goal of becoming leaner.

 

Renee, I'll definitely follow you on instagram! I'm also entering the healthcare field (starting medical school this year) which is giving me a bit of cognitive dissonance right now since I have NOT been treating my body well these past few months... 

 

To everyone in this thread, good luck! Feel free to PM me anytime and hopefully we'll all make it through the next month

[Laurie]

April 1 or sooner for me. Is anyone starting earlier? I have done many whole 30's and some more than 30

days. I have been eating Whole 30 compliant foods since Feb 23 but I have not been following the spirit of

the Whole 30. I am the old one of the group - age 52. I appreciate the honesty and openness of your posts. I have had issues with depression and body image/bad relationship with food for a good part of my life, and I now fighting complicated grief and PTSD. I will explain further in my next post. Happy to be a member of

your group. I will need lots of support to follow the true spirit of the Whole 30 - this has always been

very difficult for me.

Katie - I read your success story and many of your posts. Congrats on all your victories. You are very

inspirational.

[Marjanill]

 I am the old one of the group - age 52.

 

Ha, ha. I'm pretty sure you don't get that title, Laurie!

[katieblue]

Thanks, Ren! I finished my Whole 30 and actually turned out that I gained two pounds, which at first was no big deal, but then the old thoughts started to creep in. My anxiety got really bad and I started to freak over reintroducing. I was so nervous about it, thinking I should start logging again, I needed to cut back again, etc. But then I really thought about it, and I realized that no. That wasn't working. That made me miserable and hurt my body and I was gaining weight anyway. I would much rather be taking care of myself and feeling good - and I have to say, I honestly don't really care about the weight anymore. Yes, there are moments when I do. But I'm not nearly as obsessive as I was. I still don't hate myself. I even had a bad day today where I was making a cake for Easter and I ate a bunch of frosting which was NOT part of my reintro plan. But instead of going off the rails and tearing myself down, I just went, "okay, I'm an adult. This was my choice. Moving on now." And went back to eating Whole 30 dinner as planned, with every intention of continuing on and starting a new one April 1 with you lovely ladies! And while the sugar and dairy made me feel bloated and headachy, the emotional victory there is in the kindness I've found toward myself. If I can grow like this, anyone can. You ladies will get there, even if you don't believe it.

Laurie, thank you, that was really sweet! I think there are several groups on here starting sooner than April 1! Best of luck to you, and love to have you if you decide to wait and start with us!

[Laurie]

Marjanill -The last 2 year of my life has aged me (emotional stuff/major stress/death) but I used to feel very young. Being the old one of the group would not be bad either. Lots of wise young women in this group which is great! I am thankful that I will have the opportunity to learn from everyone. I see you are also starting on the first but you are in a different April 1st group.

Katie - I am going to begin my next whole 30 journey with all of you so April 1st will be my start date.

My focus for April is life, not just food. I need to learn to live, connect with others, find the light or at least a glimmer of life at the end of a very dark tunnel, etc. I am not going to overwhelm myself but I must take baby steps which for me are actually very big steps.

[katieblue]

That's a really powerful and strong goal to have, and I am really impressed. You'll find a ton of support here.

[DebW]

Hi Everyone!

I started Whole 30 yesterday.  We just got back from vacation and I felt absolutely horrible.  Terrible stomach cramps from all the eating and drinking we did.  My stomach has been an issue now for about 10 years...I am 55...and gets worst all the time.  My husband and I did the Whole 30 last year.  We stayed strict for about 20 days and then eased up a bit.  I felt tremendous! 

 

So now I am on day 2....feel enormously better already.  I think the key is to try to keep some variety in what you are eating.  I went to SAMS Club last evening and stocked up.

 

All the best,

Deb

[hilarypaige]

Hi Ladies!

I would love to join this thread too. I actually started yesterday...BUT I can relate to so much of what you're all going through. I've had a disordered relationship with food since I was 15. (I'm 34 now.) I've struggled with anorexia and binge eating disorder pretty much constantly for over half my life. My weight has fluctuated SO much. Numbers (weight) mess with my head too much so i won't write them here, and I've honestly thrown away my scale and no longer weigh myself. I have 3 kids (ages 7, 3 and 1) so I am realizing that I am the model for how they will choose to eat when they're adults, and I know I need to gain control over my relationship with food for their sake as well as my own.

 

I have done W30 twice before, and lived mostly W30 last year after giving birth to my daughter in February. The holidays threw me off course though (it's Thanksgiving! let's make pumpkin cake...it's Christmas! let's make fudge/cookies/chocolate what-have-you..we had 2 birthdays...Valentine's Day...Easter...you get the idea). I am really struggling with getting back into a W30 lifestyle. I do well for awhile and then the "what the hell" effect takes over, or the "I'll start tomorrow" effect takes over, and I go on a chocolate binge.

 

I need a serious reset, so I'll be spending the whole month of April eating W30, and will probably reintroduce very, very slowly. During my previous W30s I had the best relationship with food I've ever had. I looked at sugar and didn't feel like it was even food. I didn't want it. I ate when I was hungry, and then I got full. I didn't eat because I was bored/sad/angry/stressed or because food was "there". Eating W30 has helped me gain control. I am looking forward to having that control back again, and modeling healthy eating for my kids, and BEING healthy so that I can be there for them. The older I get the more I've shifted away from wanting to look good to wanting to FEEL good.

 

Good luck to you all!

Hilary

[hebchill]

I posted the following in its own post but it looks like this thread will be the happening one... 

 

So let me start off by saying I have done this before exactly one year ago.  I recently got a tattoo that says "Vive memor quam sis aevi brevis"  translated "Be mindful (of) how you are of a brief lifetime".  I got it as a reminder to myself that we only get one life and to live it to the fullest.  At the time, I was not thinking about my health, but shortly after I realized that I had gained almost 100 lbs since graduating military boot camp in 2001 (aka the best shape of my life).  I decided that I needed to take my tattoo literal as well and apply it to my health.  I turn 34 in May and my goal is to be in the best shape of my life by 35.  That gives me 13 months.  I liked the results and how I felt after my last Whole 30 but the siren song of fast food, carbs and pizza was too much and I caved shortly after finishing and not looking back.  I am excited to do this again AND stick with a healthier lifestyle once Whole 30 is officially over.   Last time I was not working out because I made excuses that I wanted to see how just changing my eating habits would effect me but the real reason was I didnt want to get off my fat ass and move.  Thats something I am changing this time as well.  Anyway, I welcome anyone else starting on the 1st.  Lets be friends and "suffer" through the 30 days of April together. 

 

Regards,

 

Colin

[katieblue]

Hey, Deb! I'm sorry you felt so bad after vacation. I know the feeling; I thought I was going to die after Easter gorging. I hope you're feeling better and you'll definitely be motivation to keep going, being a few days ahead!!

Hilary, I am really impressed by the movements you've taken toward self healing and improvement. The scale messes with me so much, too, and yet I can't imagine throwing it away. And it's beautiful that you have your children in mind, too. I love that and really respect it!

Colin, I just posted a reply on your thread, too! Didn't even realize you'd posted something here. I love your title for this Whole 30.

So pumped to see all these determined, tough, fantastic people coming together for the challenge!!

[jmccormi]

I am starting May 1 and am going to follow you guys.  Can I say that you all ROCK.  Take the control back and enjoy the journey over the next 30 days.

[johnson.renee84]

Is Mark Sisson's Primal fuel (protein powder) whole30 compliant? I am very interested to see how I am affected by not having any dairy the next 30 days and don't want to be unintentionally getting it through the whey protein in protein powder. I have become accustomed to throwing that powder in a shake as a quick meal replacement especially after hard runs.

Any thoughts??

[SugarcubeOD]

I'm already madly in love with this group of people embarking on this journey on April 1st! The moderators follow all the groups and help out with tips and advice where we can but I just wanted to say that I"m going to be paying special attention to your particular group this month! You guys have really brought a light to my heart in how real and open you are all being about what has brought you here and what you hope to gain! Sharing our struggles can be one of the most inspiring and motivating things we can do for ourselves and for eachother! I have <3 eyes for you! Let me know if you need ANYTHING!!

[johnson.renee84]

Thanks sugar cube!! It is so nice to know that there is such great support and community out there. I am still so shocked that there are so many of us struggling with similar health issues. And yet relieved at the same time that I'm not alone. I don't necessarily feel prepared to start on 4/1 but I feel very ready for change. I need to create better balance in my life and reprioritize so that taking care of myself comes first. In my field it's very difficult to take care of others when I feel depleted and at war with myself. It's hypocritical and in the end leads to burn out very quickly. I look forward to continuing to honestly discourse with you all over the next 30 days!

[Laurie]

Nice to see more people joining us. I want to apologize in advance if I don't address all the posts. I find that has been a problem for me in the past. Katie - you are great at responding to everyone.

Renee - no to the protein powder. We are supposed to eat real whole foods.

Sugarcube - thank you for your input on our group. Your words hit my heart and the tears were flowing. Even though I have had lots of experience with the W30, I needed to find a very special/open/honest group of people to share my W30 journey. I have read many of your posts and have found you to be very helpful and caring.

To let you all know more about me - The love of my life, Steve, died almost 5 months ago. He gave me the most important gift in life - his love. We had a spiritual wedding (no time to make it legal) in his hospital room 6 days before he died. After the ceremony, I got in bed with him and he kissed and hugged me. Truly a beautiful experience. I am not sure he knew he was going to die but I knew. When Steve died, I died with him. I didn't want to live anymore. The pain was just too much for me to handle. I still hurt (emotionally) all the time. I question life and death, and my purpose for living. I am going to search for an older post I wrote about Steve's illness (see next paragraph). Not long after Steve died, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia. After each round of chemo, she ends up in the hospital. I now live in fear of losing my mom. The wholes in my heart and life are huge and I don't see any hope of repairing them any time soon.

This is a copy of a post I wrote on Feb. 24 - I was going to do a W30 at that time.

I've done many W30s but this time is different due to emotional/personal reasons. On November 6th, 2015 my husband lost the fight for his life. Steve had a stem cell transplant in August 2014. He was very sick with graft vs host disease after transplant. We did have some good times but life was mostly a battle. Prednisone was used to treat the GVHD which caused osteoporosis which in turn caused 9 compression fractures in Steve's back and 1 fracture in his sternum. He then developed double pneumonia. I almost lost him at that time. Two months later I lost the love of my life. We got married on Oct. 31, 2015 in his hospital bed - very sad but incredibly beautiful (6 days before he died), Steve was my best friend, soulmate, hero and the most wonderful man a woman could wish for. Losing Steve completely devastated me to the point that I could hardly function. About 3 weeks after Steve died, I found out my mom has leukemia. She has been admitted to the hospital several times and is currently an inpatient at a rehab center for physical and occupational therapy. My world is collapsing.

[Laurie]

Goals for April 1st:

Exercise at least three times a week - even if it is only for 15 minutes

Mindful eating

Eliminate snacking (if hungry, mini meal is fine)

Fruit - one or two servings a day - I have trouble eating fruit in moderation - if this becomes a problem, eliminate fruit

Drink six cups of water to start and then increase amount - I know I'm suppose to drink more so but starting with six is an improvement.

Finish reading book When Breath Becomes Air

Post on our thread every day - even if it's just to check in

Spend more time out of my apartment - depression causes me to isolate and I often don't leave my apartment

Work on the vision book that Steve and I started before his transplant

Visit my mom twice a week

Attend bereavement support group one to two times a week - being depressed is not a legitimate reason for not attending

[newsilhouette74]

Hi everyone. My name is Crystal, I'm 41, married 21 years, and have 3 beautiful children, 20, 17, and 11. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I battled bulimia from the age of 18 until I finally went and got help at the age of 36. It was a long and difficult process, with many stumbles along the way, but I've finally broken the binge/purge cycle. I'm very proud of that accomplishment, and I don't want to detract from that in any way, but over the last 5 years my weight has steadily increased and I'm currently heavier than I've ever been. Apparently I fixed the purge part of bulimia but not the binge part!

The experiences and feelings you've all shared here have really resonated with me. I'm really tired of this weight loss roller coaster I'm on, and quite frankly I don't remember buying a ticket for this ride! I've decided to start the Whole30 on April 1st because I like the idea of eating clean, whole foods, as close to the way God made them as possible. I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little bit nervous about restricting certain foods and food groups, which goes against everything I learned in the Eating Disorder Program, but it's only 30 days and I'm impressed with the results I've seen in other people. I hope by being a part of this group I can get some much needed support and encouragement, and give some in return.