My Whole50+


CaseyD

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It's about time I write in this section....

Let me just start by saying, the Whole30 has changed my life. Now, let me detail this in what will likely be a painfully long post:

I did the big August Whole30. It was my 3rd attempt at doing a perfect Whole30, but the first time I succeeded. On August 31, I ate out at a restaurant and had french fries with soy in the seasoning. No ill effect noticed, but not very tasty, either. On Sept. 1, I went right back into Whole30-clean-eating mode, continuing on with a fellow-Whole30er I met here a few months ago. Her name is Donna and she's my inspiration, really. One could learn a lot from her!

I stayed complaint with Whole30 until September 22, when at a birthday party, I just got fed up. I didn't bring enough food with me (long story) and I didn't feel it was worth being hungry the whole rest of the day, as this was the longest kid's bday party ever. I wound up eating baked beans and ketchup. Both were organic with no high fructose corn syrup (yes, my rebellious self read the containers first). Even in my frustrated state, I couldn't really justify going too crazy. Later, I made paleo pumpkin muffins. I felt miserable and angry over stupid things the whole next day from the sugar. It was absolutely not worth it.

I got back on board immediately, then it fizzed away. As in, I started eating white potatoes that came with our co-op produce basket. I think I was done with my Whole30 finally, and that was just the reality. I thought I needed a Whole60, but today I have realized that I learned what I needed from this. I learned to listen to my body and respect what it is telling me. I also can now say I am paleo.

Sure, my pants are looser. I'm actually down a couple sizes. I fit in the smallest of my pre-pregnancy clothes (I was up 2 sizes). Have I weighed myself? No, because I just don't care what I weigh. My skin is clearing up. My hair actually looks better. My digestive track is finally feeling better (after some extra tweaking of my diet). I don't have weekly migraines anymore. I don't even have headaches. During my last period, I had virtually no pms symptoms. I have tons more energy. I recover from exercise much faster (this used to be a big problem). I sleep better (although I have a weird issue with waking up for 2 hours in the night). I feel calmer. My depression symptoms have vanished - literally, I feel like I am cured of something I've dealt with for decades. My weird, unexplained joint pain is gone. I crushed two fingers last year and had lasting effects from the injury - now any pain in them is gone. Shyness I've always seemed to have is lifting - I actively seek out social situations now and don't feel overwhelmed. I don't eat away emotions, I work through them instead. I feel alive - really, beautifully alive.

I am now a better mom, a better wife, and a better friend.

But, the absolute best part - the lesson I just realized I've learned - is that I can now eat to live instead of living to eat.

Since I was a kid, I've had an obsession with body image. While I've made great strides this year, I can't deny that there was still a weird, unhealthy obsessiveness going on with food. But, now I can honestly say that I love myself so unconditionally that I just want to put what feels right in it. To me, that's the definition of healthy eating. Not necessarily eating a perfectly clean-Whole30 compliant diet, but eating natural foods that help you to be your best, respecting what your body tells you, and separating your self-worth from food.

The Whole30 was like the diving board hovering above the pool that is the rest of my life. I stepped up on it several times before, thinking I was ready to jump in but ultimately backing away for one reason or another. Today, I jumped in and I have to say, the water is absolutely perfect.

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