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Katie's Second Whole30!


katieblue

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I completed my first Whole30 on March 22, and I had so many successes and NSV's that I immediately planned to do another one! (Starting on April 1st) I have a long history of chronically restricting food/counting calories, and I think some of the damage I've done will take more than 30 days to undo. Plus, I've just felt so incredibly awesome since I've been eating this way (and conclusively crappy after I reintroduced too much dairy and sugar on Easter) that I can't see how there could not be benefit in undertaking another one.

 

So I have a new set of goals this time around to try and build even more off the amazing improvements I've already made! 

 

- Eat more mindfully to satiety instead of stuffing myself (which should be easier because I am FINALLY getting hungry for lunch/dinner!!)

- Focus on things that aren't food that make me happy and things that can improve myself esteem.

- Stop counting calories. Seriously, I stopped logging them physically but also I want to stop trying to calculate them in my head!

- Make sure I get more sleep and take SOME amount of time each day for myself, even if it's just 15 mins of quiet!

- Eat low-FODMAP foods and cut back on the eggs and tomatoes to see if that helps with my skin issues.

- That being said, try out other things for breakfast that aren't as "traditional" - I had leftover tacos one morning last week and they were awesome!

- Get outside for walks as much as possible, even if it's just a short one!

- Get better at the bulk prep of foods so I'm not scrambling around trying to have dinners ready!

- Worry about making food that is good/convenient for me, rather than what my boyfriend is going to like. I'm doing all the work, so he can suck it up! (Plus, he's not joining me this time around, so he can take care of himself ;)).

 

Two more days until I officially begin, but I've been eating Whole30 since Monday, anyway. :)

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Hi Katie - I think you're so inspirational! I jumped into the forums when I started 18 days ago so I saw the tail end of your first log and I have to say that you were really motivational for me. I even tried my hand at carnitas after you said how delicious it was. I made my husband sick of it because I made so much and subsequently ate it everyday until it was gone. ;)

 

We have different situations as far as issues we are working to improve but for some reason I feel it really easy to relate to you. So thank you for taking the time to write out not just your log, but also the April 1 group as well! I'm certain I'm not the only one who feels thankful to be undertaking this journey at the same time as you. Keep it up!

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Hey, vancy! Thank you so much for your kind words! :) I was really touched to read that!!

Weren't the carnitas absolutely delicious!? I have them planned again for Tuesday! And such a great, simple slow cooker recipe to boot! I really loved tossing them with olives and pico de gallo.

 

Best of luck to you starting today - and feel free to reach out anytime! :)

 

Edit: Okay, so I walked away and continued my getting ready for the day, and I have to say, I kept repeating your words in my head and getting happier (and grinning like an idiot), and I want you to know that you just completely made my day. Maybe my week. So seriously, thank you so much!!

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I'm so happy to hear that!! And that was all completely honest. I feel like so many people read our logs but don't necessarily say anything, even if they found your words helpful, so I just wanted to make sure that I did say something. :) And thank *you* so much!

 

Yes, they were delish! I made Mel Joulwan's stovetop recipe. I'm a huge citrus lover so when I read her recipe, it sounded like a winner. It's a little more involved than the ease of a crockpot version but well worth it for all the crispies that get super caramelized on the bottom of the pot. I was literally standing at the stove just hand picking the little crisped bits right out of the pot and eating them! It's definitely worth a try if you have the opportunity.

 

Happy Round 2, Day 1! I look forward to checking in with you and the group throughout the month!

 

~Megan

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You're awesome! I look forward to "hanging out" on here with you all month, too! :)

 

I've been SO intimidated by Mel Joulwan's recipes. They all look so involved to me, but they do look completely delicious. I know we took the extra step of pan-frying our carnitas on the stove to get the crispies, so I wonder if maybe it wouldn't really be any more work. I'll definitely think about it, thank you!! :)

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So, here we go:

 

April 1: Day 1/30

 

M1: Green tea, two eggs, scrambled with coconut milk and in clarified butter, homemade turkey sausage, green beans with clarified butter, salt, and pepper.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, artichokes, cucumbers, carrots, shredded cabbage, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Roasted turkey, homemade compliant ketchup, mashed Yukon gold potatoes with coconut milk and clarified butter, mashed turnips, and green beans.

 

Feeling really sleepy and kind of heartburn-y today. I went out to dinner at Red Robin last night with my dad, stepmom, and boyfriend, and I used their allergy and nutrition information on the web site to determine a mostly compliant meal. I had the classic double with no cheese, no sauce, lettuce wrap, lettuce, tomato, and pickles, and steamed broccoli as my side. I did indulge in regular ketchup (and oh my god was it amazing). This (or the FODMAP broccoli) could totally have caused the sleepy and heartburn.

 

Also, I have eased up on the tomatoes but will definitely have to try something other than eggs for M1. I'll be doing lots of food prep this weekend, so maybe a big scramble/hash with veggies and sausage. :)

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Hi Katie! Its so nice to see another Katie! :) Such a nice name, my mother knew she made a right choice to name me Kathryn/Katie once she saw my red hair start growing! The irish in me is strong! haha I'm on day 1 as well. I had been eating Whole 30 for almost 2 weeks, but had some slip ups along the way. I had no idea last saturday night when we went to a party what to expect. I knew there would be chips, alcohol, and all the junk so I was ready to say no. I had an idea that there "should be" compliant foods or at least enough for me to eat until I got back home. I was expected veggies or fruits as hors d'oeuvres or something. I knew I could make it work! I had no idea that this party had 40 people! The host bought $400 of filet mignon (about 30 lbs pre-cooked) and that was not enough to feed everybody. But hey, they have sides right? Well apparently this was a pendulum party where it swings one way to super rich (the filet) and it swings the other way to the super poor, which meant french fries as our only side. I was so mad! I was starving, there wasn't enough filet for everyone so I couldn't take more than my fair share because I'm not that heartless, so I had to eat a few fries just to stop my growling stomach especially since we didn't even eat until 9:30 at night, I was ravenous! But I was proud in the fact that I didn't drink or rummage to find more carbs or other foods! But ever since then, I've been doing amazing. i'm just taking on another week, so I'll end on the 30th too! Hope you had a great day! Enjoy your weekend! I get to do a beach workout with some girlfriends tomorrow! Ah, the joys of living in California! :) 

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Hi, other Katie!! :) I'm a Katherine too, just spelled a little different (but still with a K, which is the part that really matters! :P) Irish Pride all the way! Haha.

 

That party sounds insane - that is so much food, and still not enough! I'm impressed with your self-control - just a handful of fries is REALLY hard to do! (They're like, the ultimate FWNB!)

 

Enjoy your weekend, too - I am SO jealous of where you live!! It's 50 degrees in Jersey and rainy as anything!

 

April 2: Day 2/30

 

Pre-WO: Fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey breakfast sausage

M1: More breakfast sausage, one egg, crumbled up in a scramble with green beans, some butter, coconut milk, salt and pepper. Tried a less-eggy variation of the norm.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, carrots, shredded cabbage, black olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Beanless chili with lots of veggies! (Carrots, zucchini, diced tomatoes, bell peppers, chili peppers)

 

Feeling pretty tired this morning, and kind of frantic. So much homework to do today, and so much food prep. This is going to be the most challenging part - time management around the homework since it is the beginning of the quarter. But I made a ton of breakfast sausage, hopefully enough to last me the entire 30 days! (if Rob doesn't eat any, I should be fine). And I doubled the batch of chili so we can freeze some and have it for the future! Also made some more chicken for future salads, and have the extra work this week of putting together a sweet potato dish to bring to dinner at my mom's tomorrow, and making my own BBQ sauce for the pulled pork she is making, and PROMISED would just cook in its own juices. (We will see... this from the woman who emails me recipes that claim "healthy" but are just gluten-free corn bread or bean salad or something else non-compliant!)

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It was actually really simple, more or less like making meatballs. You just throw a bunch of ground meat of your choice (I used turkey, but the recipes called for pork) and spices in a bowl, mix them together with your hands, and then form them into little patties of your size and pan-fry them. Then I freeze them and reheat them.

Here's the spice combo I used:

- 3 lbs meat

- 1 T. smoked paprika

- 1 T. Garlic powder

- 2 T. Ground fennel

- 2 T. dried sage

- 1 T. sea salt

- 1 t. cinnamon

- 1 t. red pepper flakes

- 1 t. black pepper

- 1 t. oregano

- pinch cayenne

- pinch allspice

- pinch nutmeg

 

I made relatively small patties, but I've done this 3 times now and always get between 22 - 28 of them.

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April 3: Day 3/30

 

Feeling pretty good today! It was leg day and I totally dominated, AND did 2 miles on the treadmill at 4.5 and 3 more at 4.0, with a 3 point incline. I feel like I'm killing it! :) Maybe I'll get that tiger blood this time around!

 

Pre-WO: One fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey sausage

M1: Three eggs, scrambled in butter with coconut milk, broccoli, olives, and salsa.

M2: Leftover beanless chili from dinner last night.

M3: Pulled pork with Whole30 BBQ sauce, roasted vegetables in EVOO, roasted sweet potato, apple, walnut and raisin bake with spices, and pineapple-broccoli slaw with Whole30 mayo, celery seed, salt and pepper. (Late Easter dinner at mom's).

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So, the Easter dinner at my mom's solidified something that I already knew: being around her is a trigger for stress eating. I'm not going to pour my heart out here, but let's be real: moms are so often a source of stress. Mine is no exception. Lots of passive-aggressive comments and judgment and self-involvement. I was full after eating one plate, but I went back and filled up again two more times. Three plates of food - I did not need that much. Yes, it was all compliant, but it was not consumed in the spirit of the Whole30. It was consumed out of stress and frustration. Bad Katie! I think it might be best if I avoid eating around her in the future. If have to see her, then we should plan for some activity besides having dinner together. Staying mindful, moving on!

 

April 4, Day 4/30.

 

I couldn't sleep last night to save my life. It took me forever to fall asleep, probably dozing off finally around midnight, and then I woke up at 3am, exhausted and wide awake at the same time. I'm attributing it to stress from being around my mom, and also from the massive influx of schoolwork I've been buried under all week since the quarter started. Luckily, after I tossed and turned for an hour, I just got up around 4:30 and started working on more homework. I got a good chunk done, so yay for that! Less stress now with the rest of the day. I am wondering how I'll manage to stay awake at work, but we'll figure that out as we go. ;)

 

M1: Leftover pulled pork and roasted veggies.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, carrots, shredded cabbage, black olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Leftover beanless chili!

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April 5, Day 5/30

 

Finally got some sleep last night!! Knocked right out and slept straight through until my alarm went off at 5. Still super tired, but I think that's just me needing to catch up on some sleep still - I was debating waking up to go to the gym before work today, but decided to just do it because it always makes me feel good to do. And I killed my workout! I really think I'm finally getting fat-adapted. :)

 

Pre-WO: Fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey breakfast sausage

M1: 3 eggs, scrambled with coconut milk and fried in butter, roasted veggies in EVOO.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, carrots, shredded cabbage, black olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Carnitas!! :wub:  Skipping the guac this time (*tear*) but making a lovely side of cilantro-lime grilled zucchini and summer squash, and topping with some pico de gallo.

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April 6, Day 6/30

 

So I made the carnitas again last night and I completely over-ate them. It was the first time I ate so much Whole30 food that I actually felt ill. I just kept mindlessly taking more and more and more.

 

I think it's my stress levels... they're so high right now. I just started a new second job last month and the transition to going from working at home to going into an office has been not so fun. Also, last week I just started full-time grad school as opposed to the part-time I had been doing the past two quarters, and holy wow, it's a LOT of work. I feel like all I'm doing is working, coming home, cooking up a storm, and doing homework with whatever time I have left. Even at the gym, I'm listening to my reading for class on audio (I'm in library school, so I have a YA lit class right now so luckily a lot is available digitally for me!). But I really miss having some down time for me where I can turn my brain off, but I have such a hard time justifying it because I have so much work to get done and so little time. :(

 

I have a job interview for a full-time position in the library system today, so that would definitely take away the stress of having to switch between two different jobs. But it would also add stress because it would be even more hours and a longer commute and take more time away from my doing schoolwork and cooking. But I'm turning 26 this year so as of January I won't be on my father's benefits anymore, and that's a big concern, so I kind of feel like if I can get a full-time job, I need to. Which makes it worse because it feels like pressure rather than, I want to.

 

/endrant.

 

Sorry. Ugh. Just wanted to get that out there. I feel a little better having just said so. Haha. So I'm barely sleeping, I'm worn out, and of course I'm over-eating when I make a food that is AMAZING. It takes my mind of the other stress for a little bit... but creates more in the long run.

 

On the bright side, my boyfriend and I have plans to go out to the Paleo restaurant nearby tonight and to see a movie afterward. I'm not sure I'll be able to actually tear myself away from homework tonight, but I feel like a small break would be good for me. It's only one night of the week; I've done homework the last two nights and can do more of it the next two, as well as on the weekend. Having a little bit of fun/not cooking would probably be super helpful. Also considering maybe sleeping rather than going to the gym tomorrow, but that's a hard choice, too, because I feel so good when I work out, but I have to wake up super early to go before the Bro population invades and it's too crowded for my high-anxiety self.

 

I'll post my eating for today later on, since I don't know what I'll decide to get at Cave/if we will actually go - I just wrote all this out on another board and decided to put it here, too, so I can keep track of how I've been feeling on what days. :)

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First, yesterday's log:

 

M1: One egg scrambled with coconut milk and cooked in butter, two homemade turkey sausage patties, green beans with butter, salt and pepper, roasted orange peppers and tiny potatoes in EVOO.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, beets, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Salad with cucumber and heirloom tomatoes and Paleo avocado-citrus dressing, 1/2 Thai Turkey burger with pickled cucumber and carrots, 1/2 Jerk pork burger with caramelized plantains, lettuce, and tomato, and sweet potato salad. :wub:

 

We did go out to Cave and I'm so glad that we did!! It was SO nice to get out for the night and get away from the stress - and food that someone else cooked, especially NOW that I'm cooking SO much food - is always 10x better!! And this place did not disappoint, it was just as incredible as the last time. Rob was just as impressed, and we talked a lot about my stress over dinner and he told me to just STOP cooking so much. We have a lot of food in the freezer and we eat a lot of salad as it is, so we don't need me to keep planning and making dinners. I agreed to try not making anything else this week and only planning one dinner next week and seeing if it alleviates some of my stress. We also picked a day next week to go out again. :) AND he got a paleo mocha bacon brownie for dessert and I was sssooooo tempted to try a bite but I didn't!! When the chocolate smell got to be too much I just got up and went to the bathroom and by the time I got back he was done. I felt AWESOME after that!!! Then we went to a movie and it was just so great to get away and actually connect with a person instead of my textbooks, especially MY person, who I've really missed a lot the past week or so since classes started again.

 

April 7, Day 7/30

 

I actually decided not to go to the gym today because we got home late and my head was splitting from stupid allergies and I've just been so tired. But my headache woke me up at 5:30 anyway, so I got up and gave in and took something for it and am sitting here now with some coffee, ready to dive back into homework. I actually don't feel very tired, so maybe it's a good thing that I don't push it and go work out (too much pain even though I'm awake). Maybe later on I could do my arms/shoulders workout with my free weights if I feel better. But taking care of myself goes further than just what I put into my body and even though I'll miss the gym and the endorphines that come with it, this mindset applies to how hard I push myself, and I felt like I just needed a break. And even if I didn't get to sleep, I don't ALSO have to make myself work out for an hour and then powerwalk four more miles. (I know I'm rambling but I'm trying to justify to myself that this is a good decision and okay to skip the gym and I'm not being lazy, I'm being mindful!)

 

My headache is already going away as I sit here writing this. Maybe it was a good idea. :)

 

I noticed that yesterday, I had no coffee, and my appetite was way increased. I was hungry faster for lunch and actually hungry for dinner. I remember reading a few times on here that mods noted this could be an effect of having coffee. And I don't even have a lot; maybe a 8-10oz cup with about a teaspoonful (I just scoop, I don't measure) of coconut milk on the days that I wake up balls early to go to the gym (or accidentally because of anxiety). Today I hit the 6oz button on the Keurig because I know I'm not planning to work out and I just wanted to have some because I know it helps me when I get headaches like this. Just an observation!

 

The job interview didn't go so well yesterday. I felt like they asked me a LOT of questions that were concerned with the circulation department, while I no longer work in circulation so I'm not really familiar with that any more... but honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think I'd rather stay where I am. Full time with benefits sounds great in theory, but so does finishing school quickly and getting that enormous workload off my plate. So we'll see where that goes, but I'll be definitely okay if I don't get the job. I like being able to focus on homework rather than putting all my energy into work.

 

So, really, today I feel pretty good, in spite of the allergy headache and the waking up early. I feel much more relaxed and less anxious after having gotten away, and I feel at peace with the situation of the job and whatnot. Also, my second job at the chiropractor's office is closed today, so I get the whole day to crank out some homework, which is fabulous and makes me really happy. And I'm not cooking, I'm just using the time for me (which isn't the same as like, hey, I wanna relax today, but it's still getting me further toward my goals).

This is becoming like a diary combined with a log! Lol. Sorry to anyone who happens to look at it and doesn't really care. I just figured that all thoughts/feelings are relevant in this journey. :P

 

Anyway, so on that note, the food plan for today:

 

M1: 2 eggs, scrambled with coconut milk, cooked in butter, homemade turkey sausage, green beans with butter, salt and pepper.

M2: Carnitas over salad with pico de gallo, cucumber, carrots, black olives, grilled zucchini and summer squash with cilantro and coconut oil.

M2: Last of the leftover pulled pork, roasted veggies, and broccoli-pineapple slaw from Sunday's dinner.

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April 8, Day 8/30!  One week down!

 

I woke up a lot last night, and I'm ssssooo tired today... really glad I wound up not going to the gym yesterday, because my whole body just feels exhausted. I need a good night's sleep so badly. Hopefully tonight will be better! I just feel so out of it... also blaming the allergies for making my head fuzzy. I don't think we should have to deal with allergies while it's also still this cold out. Just saying.

 

Fridays are exhausting at work, they're our busiest day by far... but once I get through this, I can come home and will probably be too tired to really do homework, so luckily I can take the night off again. I'm working tomorrow, but Saturdays are generally slow enough where I can get homework done!

 

M1: Homemade turkey sausage scrambled with roasted veggies in EVOO and one egg.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, beets, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Leftover carnitas in lettuce wraps with pico de gallo and olives and a side of grilled jalapenos, zucchini and summer squash tossed in coconut oil. 1/2 baked potato to add some starch in and maybe help with sleep. :)

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April 9, Day 9/30

 

Yesterday ended in so much exhaustion and such a throbbing allergy headache, I just wound up taking a Zquil and passing out. I know this isn't the ideal solution by far, but I finally slept through the night until my alarm went off and I feel so much better. I could feel myself starting to get mean to myself and to my boyfriend, and after six nights of not really sleeping at all, I had had enough.

 

All of my jeans just keep getting tighter on me, so I went to Kohl's to try some on last night after work and see if I could afford a new pair or two. They had such a sad selection (mostly shorts and capris at this time of year), I couldn't find anything that worked. Most of them sat on my waist too high and were really unflattering to my stomach. But instead of getting all depressed and angry at myself, I just sort of shrugged and decided to try again another day. This is also a HUGE NSV for me -- normally I would have been sad and yelling at myself internally for DAYS. I did feel a compulsion to weigh myself and see where I'm at, but I resisted! But, I'll be honest, I am feeling pretty down about it today. In general, I have really cared less and less about my actual numerical weight, but the hardest part is trying to jump and squeeze into my way too tight jeans that just seem to be getting tighter. And to not be able to find any new ones was sad. I feel like I'm taking such good care of myself and yet still gaining weight and that's frustrating. :/

 

Today's Plan:

M1: Two eggs scrambled with coconut milk and fried in butter, with steamed green beans with butter, salt, and pepper, and homemade turkey sausage.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, beets, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Mexican-spiced burgers in lettuce wraps with pico de gallo and olives, with a side of steamed broccoli and baked "fries".

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April 10, Day 10/30

 

So, it's 3am, and I'm wide awake. (Well, it's 3:40 now, but I've been wandering around trying to get some odds and ends done since 3). I really don't feel tired at all, I feel like I got a good sleep and it's time to get up. But the time is making me angry because I know it's too early to be up; I'll be ready to pass out by, like, 7pm. This keeps happening to me because of stupid anxiety (TONS of school work to get done and haven't been nearly as productive as I should have been). Ugh! Frustrating.

 

On the bright side, after today the Whole30 will be 1/3 done! I know I was just saying that it felt like it was going slower this time, but it's cool to hit this milestone. :)

 

We were supposed to have a brinner party today, and I was all set with some compliant frittata, but now that has been cancelled and I'm honestly happy for the extra time. Maybe I can get some down time to myself tonight now, especially since I am awake so early and have at least two hours to do homework before the gym even opens. Lol!

 

Pre-WO: One fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey sausage

Breakfast: Three eggs scrambled with coconut milk and fried in butter, steamed green beans with butter, salt and pepper, leftover steamed broccoli.

Lunch: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, bamboo shoots, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner: Salsa chicken from freezer inside half a sweet potato, with side of steamed broccoli with EVOO and lemon juice.

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April 11, Day 11/30

 

So today, I feel great. I woke up feeling frustrated and tired and a little anxious. But I went to the gym and just did some cardio rather than strength training because I was feeling so tired. 1 mile at 4.5 and 4 more at 4.0, which has become a pretty easy pace for me. I listened to the Hunger Games (one of my school reading assignments) on audiobook while I did, so I feel like I was accomplishing more than just one task. And by the time I got out of there, I felt awesome. I'm still tired, but I feel so positive for some reason! I just feel happy, like I'm strong and capable and doing great work. And all I can think about is I want to keep being this kind to myself, and how it will only be challenging to avoid foods that will make me feel less than this when going out, and I can still be mindful and not gorge on breaded, fried garbage or anything.

 

Interestingly, I did have some high-FODMAP foods yesterday, in the form of broccoli and sweet potatoes, but I don't feel bloaty or gassy or anything today. I also don't think I look bloaty; I actually had a moment where I thought I looked pretty good! I did notice that I wasn't really hungry this morning at all, but I did have coffee before the gym, and I've definitely noticed that has an effect.

 

Pre-WO: One fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey sausage

Breakfast: Three eggs scrambled with coconut milk and fried in butter, steamed green beans with butter, salt and pepper, and half a tomato sliced up with salt and pepper.

Lunch: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, artichokes, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner: Turkey burger with homemade ketchup, lettuce, and tomato, side of baked sweet potato fries and green beans with butter.

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April 12, Day 12/30

 

OMG, the stress. I got a full-time job. I don't want a full-time job. But I took it because I need a full-time job. So much to process. So much to handle. Can't focus on anything else, but logging anyway!!

 

Glad I decided to give myself a break and sleep today instead of going to the gym - I feel so tired. And now sssooo anxious. Argh!!!

 

M1: Two eggs scrambled with coconut milk and cooked in butter, steamed green beans with butter, salt and pepper, one homemade turkey sausage patty, half a tomato sliced with salt and pepper.

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, artichokes, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Baby back ribs with Whole30 potato salad and collard greens simmered in chicken bone broth with red pepper flakes.

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April 13, Day 13/30

 

So, yesterday was crazy insanely stressful with a TON of emotion and anxiety. While I was at my second job, I got the phone call from the library, but didn't realize it until I saw I had a voicemail. The voicemail in question was very nondescript, but since I had gotten notice of not getting the other full-time position I had interviewed for via email, I assumed the phone call meant something good. And the freaking out ensued: I feel so much pressure to take the job, but I don't want the job! I like where I am now, I have a good thing going. I already have so much on my plate, how can I add even MORE work and take away the very last slivers of time I had to do homework and maybe the occasional free night? But the full-time offers benefits, which I need when I turn 26, and all sots of good stuff like paid time off and floating holidays and comp time... and let's not forget the fact that it would afford me financial independence because I'd effectively be doubling the salary I make right now with two part-time jobs. After a lot of deliberation, I decided to take it. It's at the same branch I work at now, so it's a 5 minute commute from my house so there's no added time there, I can go home for lunch every day, I already know the people and a lot of the procedures even though it would be a different department. I am really concerned with how it will affect school, because I don't see how I can do full-time job and full-time school, and if I drop back to part-time school I won't graduate on time, I'd have to add an extra quarter, but then, what is the rush if I know that I'm covered both with benefits and financially? It's just hard, because like anyone, I'm uncomfortable with change. I was tossing and turning all night, having nightmares about it, thinking, "What have I done???"

 

That being said, I SO wanted to eat. It was amazing how much my instinct was just, "SUGAR! I'm stressed, I need some ice cream!" Even after ALL this time and work and squashing the cravings and feeling good. I mean, holy crap, the dragon woke right up. Thanks a lot, stress. But I was like, "Um, no. I'm almost halfway through, I am not messing this up. The only way I will survive this is if I continue to eat well and take care of myself. I'm already going to have to give up sleep and time, I will not give up nutrition as well." And the urge went away. But wow, that was certainly eye-opening!

 

On the bright side, those ribs I made were STELLAR, and actually really easy! The potato salad was the bomb, too! :) The collard greens not as tasty without the added ham, but not too bad! So dinner was delicious, and I got to talk through a lot with my boyfriend, and I realized that I will totally not be able to cook like I have been, either, since I have mostly been doing that on the days I work my second job and get home at like 3 or 4 instead of 5, so I have the extra time. But there will be weekends (if I can get away from homework??) and he did actually offer to help with grocery shopping and even cooking. And in any other way he can, too. This might be hell for a while, but it will be a manageable hell. I can do this. We can do this. It will work.

 

For today:

M1: Two eggs scrambled with coconut milk and cooked in butter, steamed green beans with butter, salt and pepper, one homemade turkey sausage patty, half a tomato sliced with salt and pepper. (I'm doing a terrible job at cutting out nightshades... but I just love this breakfast so damn much!)

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, artichokes, kalamata olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Baked chicken with the last of the Whole30 BBQ sauce, Whole30 potato salad, and steamed kale.

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April 14, Day 14/30

 

So I got some sleep last night, which was good, because it totally affected how I'm feeling about everything (stress and anxiety = way down today). I feel much more empowered and good about taking the full-time job. A little frantic, sure, but I think that kind of nervousness is normal. It's a big step and my world is going to change a bunch with it!

 

My mind feels a little better, but my body is still really tired. I managed to get up and go to the gym, but man, I didn't have the best workout. All the weights felt really heavy and I kept wanting to just stop and go home. But I persevered, and I finished 90% of it! (The remaining 10% I couldn't do because people were using both lat machines... but I'm okay with that!)

 

I'm excited because tonight, Rob and I are going out on another date night to Cave! We had so much fun last week just getting away from everything for a little while, we decided it was important to make sure we set aside some time for us. I'm a little anxious that we may not be able to do this as often when I start working full-time, but I'm sure it's just a matter of learning how. Also, all the more reason to go out tonight!

 

Pre-WO: Fried egg

Post-WO: Homemade turkey sausage

M1: Two eggs scrambled with coconut milk and cooked in butter, steamed green beans and black olives tossed with butter, salt and pepper, homemade turkey sausage patty

M2: Salad with balsamic grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, artichokes, olives, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

M3: Cave!! :wub: Excited to try their special of wild boar ribs, roasted yams and brussels sprouts, probably accompanied by organic greens salad with heirloom tomatoes and cucumbers.

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Sooooo, I woke up at 2:30 again... it's now 5:15 and I'm still awake. <_< Eventually I just gave up and did some homework. I don't really think this has anything to do with what I'm eating, just with the amount of stress and anxiety brought on by knowing how much work I need to get done - and made way worse by the knowledge that I will be adding ten more hours of work per week next week. Ugh. I will get through this. I will get through this. I will get through this. Just so tired.

 

M1: Two eggs scrambled with coconut milk and cooked in butter, steamed green beans and black olives tossed with butter, salt and pepper, homemade turkey sausage patty

M2: Chicken salad with Whole30 mayo, celery, raisins, and pecans, over lettuce with carrots and cucumber.

M3: Baked pulled chicken with leftover Whole30 BBQ sauce from the ribs, Whole30 potato salad, and steamed green beans.

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April 16, Day 16/30!!

 

I'm halfway there!! This is awesome, because it really just feels so extremely easy to keep eating this way. Even the cooking and shopping and planning that's involved feels second nature now. It's just part of what I do. And that makes this feel like it will be totally sustainable to eat Paleo long-term. The only real issue I've found is in going out, which I think is the same for everyone. I've looked at many chains' allergen information and it's possible to avoid some things in some places, but it is really challenging and requires a lot of thought.

 

Anyway! I slept last night - yay! Went to bed at 9:30, passed right out, and slept until my alarm went off at 6. We're supposed to go get in a nice walk today because it's supposed to hit 60! And it will give me a break from where I sit here doing homework. Ugh.

 

Going back to Cave again tonight! I'm in love. It's official. Taking my girlfriend this time instead of Rob and excited for some lady time! :) I have no idea what we'll get, so I'll have to update that tomorrow. There are so many exciting things on that menu. So glad we tried the boar ribs, because they're gone now!

 

M1: Last of the pulled chicken with BBQ sauce, steamed kale, olives, and grape tomatoes with salt and pepper.

M2: Chicken salad with homemade mayo, celery, raisins, and pecans in lettuce wraps with tomato slices.

M3: Cave!! :wub:

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