Getting Back on Track

[Emma]

Day Nine continuing.

 

This mindful eating thing is really dull.  I know.  I know it's supposed to be me enjoying and appreciating my meals, but I really just feel bored and restless.  I want to get the eating over so I can get back to other things.  It certainly changes the way I interact with food and I'm bound to eat less.  I'm certain I eat a lot more than my body needs exactly because I'm so distracted when I eat.  Ah well.  I'm working on this.

 

On a good note, this morning when I was in the car, I had the big a-ha that I feel like my body is back in my control.  It feels like MY body again.  Before starting this Whole30, I think I was feeling a bit like Jaba the Hut and very disconnected from it - and certainly not in control.  It's a lot like addictions and it got me thinking about how Whole30 seems like it could be harder than just going on a strict diet.  I've never dieted, though I have counted calories.  A diet gives you real clear parameters to work within.  Of course, Whole30 does too, but it takes actual effort to make good foods.

 

And then I was thinking about my lunch today.  It was filling.  I was full and noticing I was full, but then I wondered how many calories it was.  I didn't calculate the calories because what I immediately noticed was a tension in my body - "oh no - did I eat too much.  Oh my - it was only this many calories - well then I won't be full.  I can eat more."  That was the kind of talk going behind the tension.  Knowing I had a tasty, filling lunch is far better.

 

It's now 4:00 and I'm feeling run down and foggy.  This is the toughest time of day.  My kids had granola bars that smelled so good (not sure if I really could smell them, but my nose and mouth and body knew the granola bar experience quite well).  When we got home, I had some leftover pork, carrots, and almonds.  I don't think I feel any more energetic, but the cravings are gone and I'm probably in better shape to make dinner and deal with visitors and life.

[beckerj88]

Keep it up! I struggled with some cravings today too. The mindful eating took me some time to get used to. The first couple of days I just sat there trying to focus on the sensations and just started thinking about all the things I had to do or hadn't done yet. 

 

I think we're in store for some Tiger Blood soon!

[Emma]

Laughing - yeah, I wouldn't mind some tiger blood after this slow eating thing.  I told my kids what I'm doing and so now they think it's hysterical to try to trick me into reading.  My daughter will show me her math work and ask if something is right and then bust up laughing.  I'm not fooled so easily

 

Day Nine at its conclusion - Did okay.  Definitely better energy today.  Still managed to avoid some work.  Never took off like a speed demon getting other tasks done, but my mood was decent and then dinner went well.  I, again, have a grumbly stomach after dinner.  No idea what is triggering it or what to do so I'll just keep plugging along.  I did eat less tonight, but perhaps it's the content and not the amount.

 

Breakfast: Eggs, spinach, onion, garlic, mushrooms (half eaten before coffee and half eaten after)

Lunch: Spinach, tuna fish, beets, mayo

4:00 Snack: Pork tenderloin, roasted carrots, almonds

Dinner: Ground Bison, sauerkraut, over oiled potatoes

[madness]

Sucks on the bubbly tummy! You had potatoes both times...might be something to look at. I'm kinda feeling that this early into the program it might be hard to pinpoint any trigger foods as your body is still adjusting. That's my theory at least!

[Emma]

It's true.  I did have potatoes.  They seem like they should be an innocuous food, but I've never liked them and I rarely ate them growing up.  It certainly could be.  I was thinking maybe it was the coconut oil they were slathered in, but I used olive oil last night.  Okay, no potatoes for me today.  I've really just been making them for the family, but they were so tasty that I had my fair share.

 

Day 10 

I didn't get out of bed till 7:10 which is pretty darn late, but I think I managed to scrap together eight hours of sleep - not great sleep - but sleep.  The kids, dogs, my stomach, needed to pee - uninterrupted sleep just wasn't in the cards, but I did get to the crazy dreaming stage that precedes waking up on my own so I'll call it good.

 

I made breakfast and am now having my coffee.  Really, I have much more charitable, loving thoughts to my family after my cup of coffee which is why it's nice when I wake up first, brew, and drink.  Having breakfast first and sleeping in is throwing off this functional pattern.  I'll continue though and perhaps I won't need charitable mood coffee in the first place at some point (though, right now, I can't imagine that!  )

 

I did my mindful eating.  It was fine.  

And now I need to kick into action mode and get a kid off to school and me to work.

I'm sure to check in mid-day 

[Emma]

Day 10 Over and Done!

 

My current goals:

Eat Whole30 - Did it

Meditate - Did it

Breakfast Before Coffee - Did it

Mindful Eating - Did it

 

Breakfast today was far easier than yesterday.  Lunch was six hours later.  Wow.  I thought it was more like five, but I guess more time passed than I realized.  Normally, I eat breakfast late and lunch a couple hours later.  From lunch till dinner was about 4.5 hours.  I still had an afternoon slump during that four o'clock hour, but it wasn't as sluggy.

 

Overall, I got some things done today that I'd been procrastinating on.  I like to think it's a sign of my energy improving, but it might just be due to deadlines.  Or, perhaps it's a bit of both.  I was pretty pleasant most of the day.  I'm generally pleasant, though grumbly in my head.  I wasn't walking around singing love songs, but I wasn't singing anything ugly either.

 

Breakfast:  Eggs, onions, garlic, broccoli

Lunch: Ground Bison, sauerkraut, almonds

Dinner: Carrots, spaghetti squash with pesto, spaghetti squash with a red pesto, pork chops with tapenade, mixed greens

 

Dinner was looking really bleak when I looked in the fridge for inspiration, but then I realized we had some jars of fancy schmancy tapenade and pesto my husband had picked up when he was traveling a while back.  I checked the ingredients and all was good.  Voila - we had a good tasting dinner. 

 

The kids have also been amazing.  They're eating their normal oatmeal for breakfast and making their own lunches which is generally salami, carrots, hard boiled egg, tortilla, and a whopping big spoon of peanut or almond butter.  And then they're eating our Whole30 dinners and eating them well and having seconds.  They were amazingly good when we did Whole30 as a family, but they've since been seduced back to sweets and salts and some of the processed foods which  slip into our lives and school snacks.  It all makes veggies not near as tasty so I'm surprised by the amounts the kids are eating and their comments enjoying the meals.

 

We had no potatoes tonight.  I ate seconds.  I knew after my first full plate that I should stop at that, but it was SO tasty so I had some more pork and spaghetti squash.  I think my stomach is in better shape than the last two nights so maybe potatoes are not helpful, but it's hard to tell.  It really feels like my system would just be so happy if I could go clear things out, but my body's routine is to do that in the morning.  So darn - I'm gonna go to sleep again with an unpleasant feeling gut (though not as unpleasant).

 

And that's that.  Day 10 is over and one.  I'm looking forward to Day 11 and just the day itself because I'm meeting up with some others to work on some projects and I like doing that a lot.

[Emma]

Day 11 - It's amazing how fast time flies when it's already flown past  .  At the start, I wondered if I'd ever get to the sweet spot which should start happening in the next week or so - at least I hope so.

 

Slept well enough last night.  Went to the bathroom at three.  Fell back asleep.  Was having some pretty in depth dreams and then the pup woke me up to go out at six.  Argh.  I had a headache and wasn't ready to wake up.  I needed another 30 or 40 minutes probably or just to wake up on my own.  I tried to go back to sleep and laid on the couch for an hour trying to doze off, but to no avail so I finally got up, made some breakfast as quietly as possible (since others were sleeping) and am now finally having my coffee.

 

I think my head hurts because I was woken up, but also because my system is not clearing itself out.  I was so nice and regular and now I'm not at all and I just picture the toxic waste sitting in me.  I do actually get headaches if I don't go, but that hasn't happened in so long that I'd almost forgotten about it.  Ah well - this shall pass - haha - hopefully soon.

 

We are eating so darn much that there are no leftovers.  This weekend, I'll make double batches of whatever we eat and cook an excessive amount of squashes.  It's so much better when there are leftovers in the fridge.

[Emma]

Day 11 - Good busy morning and early afternoon, but I was without a lunch.  I never got hungry, but I could feel my brain just getting kinda tired and not with it.  I could use a good meditation session.  Instead, I've got to head out to a party where there will be loads of tasty food and I will be very tempted.  I just ate a very late lunch of leftovers from last night.   And, I forgot to do mindful eating!!!  I just sat down, opened up the computer and started to eat and part way through, I realized!  I gasped out loud and compliantly shut the computer.  It wasn't so bad.  I finished eating and then opened it back up, but boy, it is not part of my normal routine at all.

 

I also switched to black tea as a substitute for my second cup of coffee.  I know it sits more evenly in my system and I have some good tea that I do like.  I don't think it's a big drop in caffeine levels, but it's a step away from coffee.  I think I'll try to do that for a bit and then at some point switch to black tea for my first drink and green tea for my second.  No cold turkey for me!!!

[madness]

That's great that you've gone so long between eating. I think that shows you are getting the right stuff! Stay strong at the party!

 

This is day 2 with no caffeine for me and I think I've over the symptoms. As I haven't been a regular drinker, I didn't have as much of a withdrawal. But boy, that headache yesterday! 

[Emma]

Madness, Super congrats on the caffeine elimination.  That's pretty cool.  

 

Day 11 - Finished

 

I went to the party and had a great time chatting and visiting with a couple friends.  I ate lots.  It was, however, all Whole30!!!!  There were moose burgers, dried fish, deviled eggs, salmon spread - and it was all made using things I could eat.  It was great.  There were also potato chips and cake and I tell ya, I just wanted to munch on those things too.  I ate quite a bit of the proteins.  I ate no veggies aside from a few slices of onion and tomato.  It was not ideal and I had no actual hunger pangs and if I had, I was aware that I was eating past any type or satiation factors.  However, I stuck to the clean foods and that counts for a lot.  My stomach is also not grumbly as I prepare for bed.   So, tonight was a success - not the kind to write home about - not one to use as an example of good Whole30ing, but a good honest got-through-a-tempting party and still within boundaries success.

 

And now on to tomorrow.  

[beckerj88]

That's great about resisting the tempting foods. I wouldn't worry too much about not eating exactly the meal template because stuff happens. Life isn't always going to be super structured where we can plan out every little detail so it's really good to learn how to adapt. Plus you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for being around those things and not eating them! I was at a baseball game last night (minor league not major) but I always crave hotdogs, and peanuts when I'm at a game. Yesterday was no exception, but I snuck some almonds in just in case and I'm delighted to say I didn't eat any! I was able to just sit back and watch the game and enjoy the company of my fiancee. What a joy! 

 

I feel like today might be the day I get some tiger blood! Today is day 14, can't believe it's already been 2 whole weeks!

[madness]

I have a crawfish boil and a happy hour to attend next weekend. Not looking forward to the temptations! Glad you guys navigated it so well. I'm sure I'll make it through, but I bet I won't be happy! 

[Emma]

Hot dogs at a ball game and a happy hour crawfish crawl - aye - those are big temptations!

 

Right now those hot dogs, crawfish, and whatever I can imagine at a crawfish crawl sound pretty good.  Pretty good in my mouth, but my body itself doesn't really want anything.  I suppose that's good.  I have yet to have an actual hunger pang, though I do see myself getting dumb in the head at times to eat.

 

Breakfast: bananas, eggs, carrots

Lunch: tuna, spinach, mayo, onions, beets, cashews

Dinner: moose, bell peppers, onions, cabbage

 

No snacking and I ate mindfully for my three meals.  It's really not so bad, but I just itch to be reading or doing something at the same time.  I did notice also when I sat down to read during the 4:00 hour that I really associate relaxing with ingesting food.  It's easy enough to keep things good for these 30 days, but I think it will be really hard to actually change those patterns consistently once this is over.  We'll see.

 

Oh - sleep last night was pretty good.  I had to get up to go to the bathroom at three.  I really wish that would end, but I do appreciate when I can fall back asleep afterwards and I woke up on my own.  My dreams the last week have been very vivid and odd.  

 

Day 12 finished.

 

Hmmm - I started on the 5th.  Today is the 17th.  I do believe I messed up my counting along the way.  This is Day 13.

[madness]

Do you eat as a family? For breakfast and dinner we do and that makes it easy to put down anything distracting. For lunch, alone, I do often have to make an effort not to pick up my phone "to check something". It can wait!!!

[Emma]

Madness - We eat dinner as a family, but not at a table.  We're in a really small house so the table is more of a desk.  It's a dream that one day we'll have a house with room for a table and a table/desk for all our projects.  Breakfast and lunch are done on our own.  The family wakes up at different times so the kids eat oatmeal when they get up that I prepare when I'm up (I'm always the first one up) and lunch, my kids make their own meal exactly at noon no waiting a minute past for the parents.  I grew up with a family table so I'm feeling a little guilty about this, but we are always in the same space so we get loads and loads of family time - just not time at a table eating together.

 

Day 14 - Got up once last night, but went back to sleep.  Woke up when my husband's alarm went off and wished I could have still slept, but I had to go to the bathroom.  I'm usually the earliest riser so it's interesting that I was going to keep sleeping.  Wasn't hungry, but I did make my breakfast and ate it mindfully on the sofa next to my boy.  Now I've got coffee going and I'm hoping to have a productive morning, but so far, I'm not feeling it.  I really do depend on the coffee to get me going.

[Emma]

Day 14 - i was a grump today.  And I also was not super productive.  Everything I did, I did halfheartedly.  But this evening, my mood seems better and I feel cleaner in my head.  If I didn't have to go to bed, I'd be a bit in the mood to get things done.  Instead, I'm hoping that tomorrow I wake up on fire.

 

Breakfast - Eggs, broccoli, garlic, onions, mushrooms

Lunch - Pork, sauerkraut, cashews, olives

Dinner - Moose, sweet potato fries, olives, carrots

 

Not the best eating today.  Breakfast started good and everything was on board, but lunch and dinner was all rather hastily scraped together.  That will happen.  I did print off three recipes I want to try and I picked up some of the ingredients.  The store was out of some basics like fresh and frozen cauliflower and cilantro so that helps decide what I try to make tomorrow.  The store also had a sale on tri tip which I bought.  We live fairly remote and food prices are ridiculous so sales are always exciting.

 

My stomach is major grumbly tonight.  I think my entire digestive system is just thrown for a loop.  I'm soaking some whole flax seeds in water this evening with the tentative plan of drinking that down tomorrow morning.  I read a post by someone in the forum who suggested that and I figure I could try and see.  The magnesium tea has made things so pleasant for so long and now I'm really annoyed by my current digestive woes.  Has anyone else done the whole flax seed thing?

 

And that's it.  Day 14 was fine.  Nothing to write home about, but also not in a slump.

 

Goals:

Eat Whole30 - doing it

Meditate every day - doing it

Eat Mindfully - doing it

 

Next:

Switching to tea - I don't know if I'm on board with this one yet

Really putting my social media checking in check - I think I should

Exercising or just plain getting outside by myself - I really think I should.  I think that's part of my bad mood today.  The caveat is that I'd have to wake up before everybody else and get out of the house and back.  There are no other times I get to myself.  So, perhaps as sleep improves I'll begin waking up early again.

[HedyF]

4pm is the worst for me, too! I'm still working but based on when I last ate, I should be eating soon but by the time I come home and finished cooking it will be closer to 6;30/7:00. I think I will try to eat a mini meal between lunch and dinner and see how it goes. 

[Emma]

Gosh Hedy, Just this morning I was thinking I should just have dinner at 4:00 and then not eat with the family which isn't till 6:30.  In your case, at work, a mini meal sounds like a good idea.

 

Day 15 - 

Woke up once to go to the bathroom.  Slept till 6:50 and woke up knowing it was time to wake up, but not feeling energized.  Really feeling sluggy today.   Feeling so sluggy that I even was arguing in my head against the idea of eating breakfast first, but I did eat breakfast and am now having my coffee, but I am sluggy - and not just in a non-coffee way.  My kids are sluggy too and one napped in the middle of the day on Sunday which is unheard of so maybe we're all just fighting off some mild virus.  I do have a swollen lymph node under my left ear and a stiff neck and now that I think about it, my daughter complained of a sore neck on Sunday.  Well, then - that could have something to do with this energy level.

 

But it is Monday and I do love Mondays because it's my Get Things Done Day and that always feels good.  I'm going to have this coffee, do a bit of easy work, and then kick into high gear for the first half of the day.

 

Last night I took a couple digestive enzymes and that helped my stomach.  I also spent time googling digestive enzymes, probiotics, bitters, and whole flax seeds before I went to sleep.  I have no plan, but I think I'll start trying to read up on gut health and figure out what I should be doing.

[madness]

I'm usually good in the digestion department so I haven't tried flax seeds for that. But I have used them for psoriasis and I love to use them in dishes. Sprinkled on deviled eggs, toss into a smoothie for a nutty taste, in salads, etc. You could probably do that with the soaked ones as well. I hope you get the digestion figured out. When I do have the occasional issue, it makes me a pretty unhappy camper.

[Emma]

Madness - you used them for psoriasis?  Like ingesting them and it helped that?  One of my kiddos has eczema which we believe is triggered by garlic (such a bummer!) and by stress, but we have yet to discover what really helps things.  I know eczema and psoriasis are different, but I've never thought of flax seeds.  I'm off to google!

[madness]

Psoriasis is helped by omega-3s. When I was about 20, I had a SEVERE outbreak, 15-20% of my body. I ate omega-3's in every way I could. Flax seed, primrose oil, fish oil, actual fish (I was a vegetarian and always hated fish but I choked it down!). I basically put omega-3 containing substances in every single bite that went into my mouth! And I ended up loving flax seeds so still eat them. Fish? Not so much! 

[Chellesdoingr8]

Hi Emma,

 

I was reading through your posts and noticed you meditated also.  I meditate each morning, and have been doing so for awhile, before I go to work (5:00 am).  On weekends, I do it a bit later.  I have to say that I believe the mediation has been really helping me, along with the tiger's blood feeling. 

 

How have you been doing so far?

 

Michelle

[Emma]

My daughter and I both really liked drinking the flax seeds in the soaked water.  It was weird and gel-like, but also good.  My internal system felt pretty good all day though I never went #2 which is totally not normal.  I had two tablespoons over the course of the day, finishing up tonight.  Hopefully I didn't overdo it and won't end up with some seed lodged in my appendix or something unpleasant.    

 

My stomach was grumbly a bit after dinner, but then settled down on its own.

I started off in a really low energy way, but overall, I got a lot done today and my energy was much more consistent than it has been.  I just kind of stayed busy getting things done.  It's not manic, but steady (I wouldn't mind a good dose of manic, but strong and steady is probably better).

 

My husband is coming down with a cold and my neck is still sore to the touch, but hopefully things just pass through quickly.

 

Breakfast:  Eggs, mushrooms, spinach

Lunch: Nom Nom Paleo's spicy tuna cakes and canned beets (the tuna cakes were really good)

Dinner: Tri tip seasoned really well, asparagus, spaghetti squash with olive tapenade (blech).  The tri tip seasoning was great, but the entire searing for five minutes on each side created some pretty crazy smoke in our house so I'm not sure if we'll repeat that.

 

The kids really are impressing me.  They are eating whatever I make with no complaints.  Well, they groaned at the asparagus, but they did choke it down without questioning why it had to be on their plate.  They also added mustard to their spaghetti squash which is their go-to condiment for making things palatable.  Tomorrow we are going to have whole chicken in the crock pot so I need to come up with something to spice that up and to go along with it.

 

AND, this weekend is the final class for a community class I've been taking and we're supposed to have a mini potluck.  WHAT can I bring???  I want it to be something easy, something I can eat, and something other people will like.  I thought about deviled eggs, but I'm looking for other ideas.  Anything come to mind??

 

And Michelle - Yes, I have been meditating, but not really the good rich stuff I've done a bit in the past.  I'm meditating with my kids at their bedtime using the CD Sitting Like a Frog which is aimed for kids.  It's been great because the kids totally want to do it, but it's kind of short.  I really do want to start doing a bit more during the daytime - that and exercise - but fitting it in and making things happen takes some energy I'm not sure I have just yet.  Yet, of course, doing those things helps create the energy.  Dang!  It's on my tentative goal list!  How long are you meditating and what are you doing?

 

Day 15 - Good night.  Thanks for a decently productive day and the hint that things will continue to improve.

[Pockystickz]

Wow Emma you are awesome girl!! You inspire me to not give in to those temprations that come my way!!

[Emma]

Day 16 - I'm up ridiculously early thanks to the dog who licked my lips (ewww) to tell me she had to go out.  However, I'm up early and my head is clear.  I read for a bit on the sofa and then heated up some of Nom Nom's spicy tuna cakes.  I also went to the bathroom (yay) and am now drinking some coffee.  My stomach is grumbling and rumbling, but not in a bad bloated way - just in a "we're getting ready to move things along way".  I love knowing that things are actually working in there.  When I think back to two days ago (pre whole flax seed experiment), nothing was staying in me or certainly wasn't getting a chance to be absorbed.  I'm going to drink the flax seed again today because yesterday my stomach did feel more content, but I am open for thoughts, personal experiences, or websites that anyone might know of!  Last night I googled whole versus ground flax seed and how much flax seed and I thought, "Oh my - did I just mess things up" but so far, so good.  I am prone to inflammation and get tendonitis super easily and have beginning signs of arthritis during a bone scan so the flax seed seems appealing at helping to address that.

 

Okay - Day 16 again - I am chatty!  I do like being up before the family!!!  I like having my head clear!  I don't like that I slept lousy last night, but that wasn't because of my body - it was because I was sharing a single bed with my daughter and dog and neither were willing to make more space and since my daughter has a cold and the dog is old, I just let them have their space and instead I worked on sleeping comfortably while not falling off the bed.   The lymph nodes in my neck are still sore to the touch, but no worse than yesterday.  Woohoooo!  

 

I'm hopeful and optimistic that I can get lots done today.  I need too, but mainly, I want to.  Being up early helps set the tone.  I also think I will try to meditate this morning, stay away from my computer and phone except for specific times (Just like my eating, I graze constantly on the computer), and I won't exercise  Getting closer - getting closer.