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Getting Back on Track


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Day Three Starting Off:


Slept all night without getting up.  Woke up at six and made some coffee first.  How fast I fall back into old patterns.  I did have breakfast mid way through coffee and will try to eat lunch more on time today than yesterday.  I have a headache.  I feel bleh.  :)  Could I really be just like the start of a fresh Whole30??!  One would like to think I'd just seamlessly retain my good energy from those 20 days, but nope - I threw muddy water into my pool of clean energy and this is what happens.  It's like roller skating just once down a dusty wet street and your skates no longer roll smoothly.  Or wearing your new pristine tennis shoes on a hike that takes your through brackish pockets of trail.  Or..... :) I could keep going!


I can move my knee about 20 degrees.  That number sounds so big, but when you look at how little movement that is, it's not much, but it is better than the past few days.  i figure I'll wait a solid week before considering the possibility of going to a doctor.  


It's a pretty day out.  My kids have learned to bike.  I'd like to be biking with them.


So, looming over my head is this stinking project I need to work on.  Looming.  And I spend so much energy NOT working on it and I know it wouldn't even be that hard to start and get it done and I'll have fun once I'm in it.  Much like my eating.  I spend crazy amounts of energy not eating well and avoiding the possibility and then once I start, I feel so relieved and my body and mind so much healthier.  Why the heck is this!?


Last night I read some article on cortisol levels and inflammation.  It was not a source I would rely on for information, but it did get me thinking about stress and wondering how much low grade stress I harbor.  Probably more than I realize.  Made me also realize that trying to prioritize mediation is good because that's one thing that has been shown to trigger the parasympathetic nervous system.  Inhale - so much to get done today!  :) And I'm completely happy sitting on the sofa avoiding it all!!!


Okay - I'm off.  Here's to a good day for all of us.

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Day Four


Yesterday went just fine, aside from a fairly lame dinner.  For lunch, I pulled together a spinach salad with tuna, mayo, onion, and carrots.  I think I like it better with beets, but it works and is tasty.  For dinner, I had lots of bacon and a bunch of iceberg lettuce with a couple cherry tomatoes and a few slices of cucumber.  Talk about lame.  We went to a community school dinner and all I'd made before we left was the bacon.  All I could eat at the thing was the salad.  It wasn't the template, but at least I wasn't hungry or yearning for the cake or the food.


This morning my daughter woke me up at 4:30.  I had to go to the bathroom anyway so it wasn't that big a deal, but now I can't go back to sleep so I have an early start on the day which I can start by hanging on the sofa and reading some news.  


My knee is still tender along the joint line and still doesn't move more than 20 degrees.  At one point during the night, I almost could straighten it, but it finally relaxed back into place.  


And that's it. Not much going on aside from the regular plodding along and looking forward to things picking up a bit.

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Sorry your knee still isn't feeling well, hopefully it will get better soon! Kudos for passing up the cake and other food. I know when I'm injured or sick I would always use that as an excuse to eat like crab, perfect example of how I used food to treat myself and cope emotionally. Glad to have you back! I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and you're always a great reminder for me to meditate! 

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Meditation!  I forgot to do it!  I'll write this up real quick and then take 12 minutes to get that done.  


I did two walks today on my knee.  I can walk, but I can't bend it a lick and I can feel everything hurting now. However, the walks outside were nice for myself and the kids and the dog.  But now I'm home and the house has exploded and I really think I should just elevate my knee for a while.  I'm hoping hubby is willing to cook up dinner while I try to make some sense of the xplosion.  I don't even know how it got messy.  We were barely here.


I'm also feeling like going out to eat.  We're not going to.  I already passed on some sushi rolls at work today that were offered to me.  I looked at them.  I even leaned over them.  I almost gave in.  What's a bit of rice?!  But I didn't have any.  I think I'm just tired.  I'm certainly not hungry.  A beer and burger just sounds good and relaxing and easy, but the thought of eating any of that doesn't sound good at all.  Nor does even going out.  Okay - I AM tired.  I might fall asleep during this meditation. :)


Breakfast: Bananas, spinach, eggs

Lunch: Spinach, carrots, beets, bacon

Afternoon Mini Meal after I passed on the sushi rolls: Leftover lamb chops and carrots

Dinner: Will be chicken, onions, mushrooms, sweet peppers

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Day Five 


Well, I forgot to meditate yesterday even though I intended to do it RIGHT after I finished posting.  Rolling my eyes at myself!  But today, I did it and got it done.  Phew - marked off the list! 


I was up at 5:30 to go to the bathroom and then just to find a better spot for my aching knee.  I think I got enough sleep, though another hour wouldn't have been bad.  I'm not feeling chipper and gung ho.  Soon the rest of the house will wake up and I'll need to get my act in gear.  Much needs to get done this morning and I've wasted away my first 90 minutes.  Aaaaah - this dang knee.


I also need to meal plan a bit.  I feel at risk of going off track, though not sure why.  My body is content on the inside as far as food.  Emotions, stress, way to procrastinate.....blah blah blah....probably all that stuff.  Well, good thing I meditated and gave my body that dose of good energy.

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Day Five - Four O'Clock Slump Report :)


Walked too much on my knee so now I'm home on the sofa.  Spent a bunch of time getting work done this morning.  Spent a couple hours outside.  Wish I had a whole bunch of friends on Facebook just wanting to chat right now, but I don't.  I also don't want to get up and deal with the pile of laundry that has been neglected (and growing) all week, nor dinner prep, nor prepping for work tomorrow.  I just wanna lounge, chat, and sleep.  Thankfully, my kids are feeling pretty mellow after their time outside.


Breakfast: Bananas and eggs (I really need to get back to the eggs and broccoli)

Lunch: Spinach and leftover Chicken Adobo from last night (So thankful we had leftovers in the fridge)

Dinner: Grass fed burgers, spinach, ???? sweet potato fries???  Something


Oh - I also ate a bunch of cashews after lunch.  They're so good.


My mood is still pretty bleh and a bit tired.  It will pass.

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Day Six


Woke up at 3:30.  3:30.  Ugh.  Did fall back asleep at 5 and slept till 7:30 which is great except that I wanted that morning time to prep for work today.  Now I've got three minutes before I need to hop into the shower, make breakfast for the family, and get out of here in a half hour.  Oh well.


Knee - bends a bit more, but nothing substantial.  At 3:30 when I went to let the dog out, I think it buckled on me a little and I threw my arm out and my phone (which was in my hand) went flying, and cracked - not a little crack, but the big kind where you say, "Oh my - I guess I really do need a new phone".  Luckily I was able to still transfer photos off the phone - phew!


Not loving all the costs that are coming up with my knee and now the phone.


This morning I was tired of Whole30, but at the same time I knew I wasn't.  It's the one good thing I'm doing.  I don't like the effort or slow process of getting healthy (and losing some weight), but going off track certainly won't achieve those things so I guess this is the way.  :) See - that's my mood.  Well, it was.  Now I'm feeling a bit better except for being stressed about the day.


Breakfast - Eggs, spinach, bananas

Lunch - Spinach, tuna, and something

Dinner - Something :)

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Day Six


I'm getting through it.  My meals today have been fairly pathetic.  I had enough time to make some promised pancakes for my kids, but nothing for me so I grabbed some hard boiled eggs and carrots and raced off.  I only ate one egg.  At lunch, there were Subway sandwiches.  I made a salad with iceberg lettuce, olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, my egg and carrots, but I had no dressing.  It was rather bleak.  I looked in the work fridge and there were multiple bottles of dressing - even vinegarettes, but ALL had sugar in them.  ALL.   Once home, I found myself wanting a graham cracker or something yum so I went and made a spinach salad with beets and tuna.  And now, I am not hungry.  I have no cravings.  The reason I want to go out is because it's so much easier - it's fun to go out and have a beer.  I wish there was a Whole30 restaurant in our town (there's not - there's nothing that would even come close) and I could drink soda water or kombucha and eat and visit with friends.  Ah well.


The day will soon end.  It would be nice to get some things done around the house, but I'm sitting on the sofa elevating my knee.  I was standing for five hours today and I can tell it wasn't super helpful.  I think some of the inflammation internally has gone down, but I still can't move it much.  Tomorrow will be one week and I'd really hoped it would be in better shape and something I could just put in a brace and let heal, but I suspect I'll have to do a trip to the big city and the doctor.


Grumbly stomach - I bought some digestive enzymes and think I'll get up and grab one.


All is good.  Glad I'm closer to Day 7.

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Whoa - I'm already on Day 7!  Thank goodness for that.  I could sure use some good Days 21-30 and I'm a heck of a lot closer now.  I've been so tempted to go off track, but the memory of how much better my overall energy was before I flailed last month is keeping me on board.  I don't want to ruin this for myself!  I want a clear head, better energy, and a healthier body.


I woke up at five.  Five.  Feels a bit too early and I'm yawning, but I really had to use the bathroom and so did the pup.  I know I was dreaming before I woke up so I think I probably hit the end of my sleep cycle and probably got close to eight hours of sleep - or at least a solid seven.  I'm appreciating that I'm not going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but wouldn't mind a bit more bladder allowance so I could sleep in a bit longer.  I don't even pee very much so I don't know why my system is acting like it's such a big deal.  Ah well - hopefully this will improve over time too.


My knee.  I can bend it about 45 degrees with some effort and then some sharp pain on the inside.  My overall knee feels pretty stable, but there is isolated pain and bending it continues to feel scary.  How much does one force their knee to move?  I'm I refusing to bend it because it's truly locked or because of a sensation that it's not wanting to move and will hurt like crazy if I do.  Is it okay to work through that pain?  These are the current knee questions.  I plan to call and commit to a very expensive appointment sometime in the next week or so.


Eating - Doing okay.  Mother's Day was a bit of a bleh.  I was okay with sitting on the sofa and taking it easy, but there were no great meals or barbecues.  The weather was lousy.  My husband has the stomach bug.  It was more of a mellow day and not quite what any of us had originally pictured.  The family would have loved going out to dinner, but I stuck to my guns and my honey served them up some quick and easy hot dogs instead.  I got up and seasoned a pork loin really well and I seared it and cooked it perfectly.  I'm a bit pleased at how well I did that.  I also ate my regular tuna salads and I biffed my mayo.  I got a little cocky and thought, after making it just fine, that I could add another egg to give it some more volume.  Mayo doesn't work like that - no adding in latecomers!  So now I have more of a mayo dressing which works okay too.


The kids did make some paleo chocolate chip cookies that got a thumb's up from them and my husband.  That was fun for them and I like having the paleo baked goods around instead of the others.  We'll definitely keep that recipe.


And that's it.  I'm yawning and yawning.  Hahah - I just paused and looked up the Whole30 timeline.  Today is, "I just want to nap" day!  Well, right now I can picture that!  Okay - light at the end of the tunnel.  Tomorrow and day after are tight pants which isn't a big deal and then wanting to quit - I can handle that I think.  But it's this next week energy should start improving.  I'm looking forward to that.

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Joint injuries are weird. I think depending on the problem you either benefit or suffer greatly from "working through the pain". I had a tendon issue in my thumb that I thought I just needed to work through. The doc laughed and said I was lucky I had come in because I would likely have needed surgery if I kept abusing it like that. Sigh. Hopefully you see some marked improvement and don't need the doc. But maybe the doc will just tell you to keep on taking it easy.


My kids keep begging for pancakes. I haven't been making any floury things for them, just buying stuff. We usually make pancakes, bread, pasta and crackers every week. I don't like that I'm feeding them all store bought things but I can't handle making pancakes from scratch and not getting any!

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Day Eight

Joint injuries are weird and I get lots of them, though I've never had anything like a frozen shoulder where you have to work through the pain.  Most of mine have been things where I need to lay low and let things heal - or get a steroid shot - or accept it's a part of life.  I have beginning osteo arthritis though I don't really know what that will entail since it hasn't been anything I've noticed yet, but my doc noticed last year when I had a different knee injury.


So, Day Eight - I woke up at three coughing away.  I think there must have been some spice or something in my dinner that triggered the coughing.  My knee was also aching.  I took some more ibuprofen, moved to the sofa, and fell asleep an hour later and slept till seven so I got enough hours, but this morning I feel gluggy and my hands feel a little puffy.  I think it was the dinner.


My daughter found a New Orleans cookbook and so we have been making things from that.  We made a mac and cheese dish that looked really, really good - the sliced pieces of cheddar were immensely seductive, but I resisted.   We also made a gumbo that was great!  It wasn't too spicy, but had a nice little burn, and it had sausage, shrimp, chicken and all the veggies.  It was good, but something didn't set right.  There are a lot of leftovers, but my husband has already claimed them for his lunches so I'll go back to other things.  Maybe just the spice factor triggered the coughing and maybe there was more salt than we realized and that has the puffy thing going.  I don't know - ohhhh - we had roasted sweet potatoes and they were heavily salted I bet.  Today we're making cornbread and a chocolate cake.  And right now I feel so full and poofy that those don't sound tempting at all which is good.


So, Day Eight.  My energy was so much better yesterday.  I got a lot done!  I got a lot of telephone work done in the morning while sitting on the sofa bending my knee back and forth and in the afternoon, I got a lot done around the house in a quick time.  My head was feeling cleaner I think.  Amazing how it makes a difference.  I didn't feel manic or full of Tiger Blood, but nor did I feel like a blob unable to deal with the mess in front of me.  I felt capable of tackling things and afterwards I appreciated how easy it is for houses to get messy and how much effort it takes to keep up with them - especially the things like cleaning the bottoms of cabinet doors and just those details that are totally ignored with little kids in the house, but seem to add up and add up and contribute to an overall feeling of clutter and dinginess.  


We're in the pre-beginning stages of preparing to move so I'm also busy noticing how much we have and feeling a bit of overwhelm at where to start and what to do first to make it a good process.  I do like the process of packing up, but this will be pre-packing and organizing in order to make our current house presentable to sell.  I am SO thankful I'm doing Whole30 because I need my body and mind working with me.   I also just have to keep remembering this:


I want to be a healthy parent for my kids

I want to have the energy to do the things that need to get done

I want to have the energy to do the things I want to do

I want to have the energy to have fun

I want to feel good and look good


These things don't seem to happen when I'm eating my junky ways.  Perhaps there is an in between where I eat clean, but not Whole30 level, but I don't seem to be able to stick to it so well - or without effort.  I should post my, "I wants' in monster sized font on my door to remind me when I think of going off track.  And yet, I know I'm going to have sushi rolls post Whole30 - but maybe I could use coconut aminos - or maybe soy isn't an issue for me.  I've never done a proper reintroduction.  Maybe now it's time to actually do so, so I can tell what foods are okay and what foods trigger the addictive food seeking behaviors and low energy.


I'm full of words this morning! :)


I can bend my knee up and down to 45 degrees pretty smoothly once I warm it up.  Otherwise I can bend and straighten it very slowly to change position.  I'll try pushing it a little further today.  It's still sore on the side.  I have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist next week.


So now, off to sit a bit more, drink some coffee, then take a shower and get some energy rolling.

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Moving is going to be a several month process!  We're going to travel this next week to hopefully find a place and then deal with living here and packing and prepping - all the logistical stuff.   I think I might be talking about this a lot in the upcoming months! :)


I realize I haven't meditated.  Now better time than right now before I fully respond and reflect on the day so far....


I did it!  Hard, hard, hard.  My brain was all over the place, but that's part of the process and exactly why I want to be doing this.  When it ended, I found I had a headache that I didn't have before.  Hmmm - maybe my body would rather go back to that zone!  Or maybe I was working really hard or relaxing ;)


So, for lunch today, I cooked up some ground pork with a lot of garlic and ginger and then mixed it with dark greens and a sweet potato.  As I added some homemade mayo, I got a drop on my finger so I licked it and thought, "Sweet!"   Now, what the heck could be in mayo that makes it seem sweet???!  Was it just that it was cold?  The lemon?  Egg?  Olive oil?  Vinegar?  Mustard?  Nothing!  Yet it registered as sweet.  


Breakfast was pork loin and carrots.  Lunch was nicely balanced.  Dinner will be crab and....roasted carrots maybe?  I also made cornbread and chocolate cake this morning and did that without too much envy.  The cornbread cooked in the cast iron pan and looked perfectly perfect when I took it out. I don't even love cornbread, but I do appreciate the soft warm middle with the just-right-crunchy edges.  Sigh.  


I AM worried about an upcoming trip to the city with the family for three days.  We will hit up our favorite restaurants and I will be sorely tempted to make good choices that are still not Whole30 choices.  Hard!  I have to think about my goals and the reasons for doing this and that in the long term, my momentary unhappiness at missing out on my choice meals will not really impact me.  But still - bleh! 


Energy today is okay.  Not awesome.  I'm sitting right now.  But okay.  I did get some things done and I have plans to get more done so that's better than the alternative.


Knee isn't going past 45 degrees and now is achy and my ankle is achy and my other knee is being odd - all those things that happen when one joint isn't working as it should and everything else is thrown a bit out of wack.  I'm going to pop some more ibuprofen and get headed to an appointment.

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Day Nine


Slept okay.  Woke up at six.  Tonight we have to meet someone at a restaurant that doesn't really have anything that complies with Whole30.  I think I am best just eating ahead and not eating at the restaurant, but ugh - so not fun - not why we go to restaurants!  Tricky situations.  Last night in bed, I tried tasting pepperoni pizza in my head and found I didn't want it.  That surprised me a bit.  Surprised me to just have times where I don't want certain foods.  Really, more and more, I think it's not so much my will power around foods, but something going on at a deeper level that dictates things.  I'm pretty certain that if I reintroduced a few key things (not sure which key things), then I'd lose this space where my body is content not to be constantly grazing.


Wish my husband would come back to Whole30.  He's tired and stressed and claims to be eating well, but he's not.  He just doesn't notice how much the post work cornbread or tiny breakfasts impact his mood.  Ah well.  We're each on our own path. 


i read an article today on Mindfulness that just helps reinforce for me that the daily meditation is a good thing - it will pay off in huge ways if I stick to it.  http://www.mindful.org/how-taming-the-mind-is-like-riding-a-horse/?utm_source=Mindful+Newsletter&utm_campaign=2aa576b42e-MF_Weekly_may_10_20164_10_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d03e8c02c-2aa576b42e-21742585#

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I had a really difficult time meditating today too.  Just a really active mind that I couldn't calm down.  Monkey Mind!  I have also started to notice very mild headaches during meditation.  I don't think it's the meditation itself, but that when I sit and focus on the present, I may notice the undercurrent of 'headache' that I was just too busy to notice before. 


Thanks for posting the article - I'm going to read it today :)

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Day 10 - I had a rough go of things yesterday.  I wanted to graze, find something to eat, eat out....I don't think I actually wanted any of those things, but I found myself not happily content.  My energy was low too and I wonder if I'm battling a bit of the stomach bug that others have had in the family.  Hard to tell when doing Whole30 if what is coming out is Whole30 or due to something else ;)  However, I went through the day and did fine.  I took my Coconut Aminos to dinner and had sashimi and things went well.  It is good to be out with people.  I slept well last night and woke up at 5:30, but I think I didn't fall asleep till 11:00 so I coulda used another 90 minute sleep cycle in there, but once I'm up in the morning, it's hard to go back to sleep.


I did meditate and will hopefully do so today.  My kids were in the room yesterday when I was and I heard one of them say, "Mommy's meditating a REALLY long time".  It was only 12 minutes, but it did seem like a long time.



Breakfast: Bananas, eggs, nuts 

Lunch: Mixed greens, beets, onion, pork tenderloin, mayo

Dinner: Sashimi - No veggies or fats!


Not my most template like eating yesterday.  I thought my lunch was really good and really big, but right when I finished it, I wanted something sweet.  It hit me out of the blue and surprised me.  I had a few cashews and left the kitchen and the chocolate cake with sour cream frosting that was sitting on the counter.


On a good note, I think my jacket is sitting a little looser around my hips.  I'd like that trend to continue.

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Day 10 - I totally wanted to cheat.  I caught myself saying, "I can just have a bite of that chocolate cake.  Nobody will know."  Then I remembered it's day ten and day ten is the day most people mess up according to the timeline.  I didn't have a bite.  I don't even actually want one.  It just looked good and I wanted something.


Breakfast - Heaping plate full of broccoli and eggs

Lunch - Monster salad of mixed greens, beets, and tuna fish and then a handful of cashews


I'm eating the big portions.  My stomach is still telling me it is hungry.  My head is tired.  I'm not hungry.  I feel full.  I am just starting my second cup of coffee hours after I normally have it.  I'm TIRED of not being able to move around well or go for a walk or a hike.  The weather is gray and rainy and the best thing to combat that is to just be outside in it.


Exhale with resignation - part of the process.  The days of eating well feel so long and yet in the scheme of things, they are barely anything compared to all the days of eating poorly I have done.  Just keep plugging along and trying to get things done.

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:) Yeah, it was well done.  


So, I was just procrastinating and having fun reading through the medical question posts and came across the FODMAP and histamine questions and it makes me wonder.  I have no desire to entertain the idea of having more issues, but there's a little bug in the back of my head wondering.


My gut is a disaster this week.  It could be the stomach bug plus Whole30 is creating something even worse since the stomach bug did pass through our home.  And it could be that I am aggravating things all by myself.  I've been eating almonds every day.  And cashews.  I've been loading the garlic powder on my breakfasts and lunches and dinners.  I eat three eggs almost every morning along with a banana many days.  I eat cabbage and onions.  I avoid tomatoes.  I eat lots of sweet potatoes.  I have lots of food sensitivities that I am ignorant of until I get sick and then my body is loud and clear that what I am eating is totally uncool.  I have food allergies to fruits and vegetables when they are raw.  I know that eating clean minimizes my reaction to things after I've been eating well for a number of months, but right now I've only been eating clean a number of days and I don't think my meals are very FODMAP or histamine free.  Could this be my poor gut issue?  Groaning - quite maybe.  No more almonds and cashews for me.  No more dousing everything in a thick layer of garlic.  I'll keep the eggs and my main foods, but see if that helps settle things down.


Okay - I'm done procrastinating.  Me and my upset stomach and foggy head are gonna get back to work.

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Day 11 - I slept all night again and was up before six.  I had to go to the bathroom and so did the pup.  I was even dreaming about bathrooms!  It has been so nice to just go to sleep and sleep all night.  I like this no peeing in the middle of the night gig, but I think a lot of it might have to do with the ibuprofen I've been taking.  And really, my body has been feeling not so slender.  I know I'm probably losing weight, but I'm feeling pretty puffy.  My balance is off internally.  It's been off a long time so this is nothing new - just a new version of it.


Last night we had Hawaiian sweet potatoes because one of my kids proposed a Hawaiian evening.  I roasted the potatoes, scooped out the flesh and mixed it with onion, bacon, and pineapple, and then refilled the skins.  It was really good and not our usual fare.  There are also some leftovers - yay!

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Day 12 - Plugging along.  Slept well.  Woke up at six.  I like this sleeping all night thing.  Busy day ahead, travel, and doctor appointment.  


Meals for Today:

Breakfast: Sweet potato hash leftovers with ground pork

Lunch: Ground turkey with Subway salad fixings

Dinner: Roasted carrots, ground bison, whatever else is in the fridge


Had a food dream last night - was eating pork tenderloin :) 

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That's a nice food dream!  You don't have to wake up feeling so guilty!


Looks like you are getting over the difficult hump .. just keep on plugging away .. a meal at a time!


Hope you are feeling better!

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Doing okay.  Still going, but not with any kind of grace or elegance.  We traveled to go to the doctor and I ate lots and lots and lots, though I think it was all legitimate, but it was a lot and I'm feeling it.  We are now back home.  It feels like I was gone forever, but it was really only a few days.  The ligament in my knee is sprained.  The meniscus is fine.  There's a stress fracture and I have some thinning cartilage so there are issues, but nothing that time, ice, and painful stretching won't take care of.  It's good to know that I can try to bend it and that the pain isn't the kind that causes damage.  Today is a gray rainy day and the dog won't stop pacing.  It's driving me batty.  I plan to go declutter and organize the bathroom this morning and then this afternoon will do some work and see about cooking up a healthy dinner - hoping some inspiration hits.  We're definitely moving so lots of transition and unknowns in the air.

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