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abi2001

Day 11...and I'm feeling it! Help me stay on track--PLEASE!

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I am proud to now be more than 1/3 the way through my Whole30 experience...and although this isn't hard, it truly is challenging!

 

Today was the day I thought I was going to give up. Seriously. For whatever reason, I've been super cranky pretty much all day. I talked like a sailor and really just wanted to curl up in a hole so everything and everyone would just leave me alone.

 

More than anything, I wanted a glass of wine!

 

Then I went to the grocery store for mostly Whole30-compliant foods (my sons and husband aren't on the program; just myself). I bought bananas, apples, apricots, avocado oil, pork, tomatoes, cashews... Also on my list were milk, bread, and beer (obviously not for my consumption).

 

I almost broke down. Literally. Right there in the grocery store!

 

The last 10 days have been okay. Ups and downs, but for the most part doable. Today has been the hardest day EVER!

 

I got home from the grocery store and my husband sensed the tension. Well, either he sensed it or flat-out knew by my every word just dripping with disdain.

 

He lovingly took over unpacking the groceries and cooking dinner, being careful to follow the cheat sheets that I have posted on the refrigerator, and he shooed me into another room.

 

I opened up my laptop and pulled up the Whole30 website. I was determined to find that I've screwed up somehow and that's why I feel the way that I do. Convinced I was off-track without knowing it, the first thing I looked up was the timeline of what to expect during the Whole30.

 

Then I realized: Nope, it's expected that I feel THIS way and on THIS day.

 

I was both relieved and disappointed. I was relieved that I'm on track, but I was disappointed that I didn't have an excuse to run to the corner store for a bottle of merlot.

 

So here I sit now, seeking support and reassurance. I thought I was stronger than this. Now I'm just hoping I can last the remaining 19 days.

 

To boot, we're going to my in-laws this weekend for two days. My MIL is the most difficult woman I've ever known in my life (my husband says this about his own mother, so don't think I'm one of "those" daughter-in-laws). She's negative, nit-picky, rude, and downright mean. My husband has informed her ahead of time that we (yes, he said "we" so hopefully she'll actually listen and respect my new eating habits, despite he's not doing the program but will for my sake this weekend) are doing a 30-day detox diet of sorts and are not eating sweets, dairy, or breads nor are we drinking any alcohol (they always have wines, ports, etc.). I have NO idea how I'm going to survive the weekend when visits to their condo are some of the most stressful that I ever have all year long...

 

HELP!

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Hey there!

First, good for you for not going off plan! I know you said you were disappointed that you couldn't go get the bottle of merlot, but that baby will be there for you when you're done! There's nothing about merlot that's going to make this better, believe me.

Your hubby sounds AMAZING! Make sure you give him some snuggles when you're feeling a little less stabby because he sounds great.

I'm really sorry to hear that you have to go to your MIL's during this... well, I"m sorry you have to go there at all if she sucks :(

What types of things do you think you can do or come up with with your hubby to manage?

I'll start with some suggestions and maybe they'll help you brainstorm or others, because food and alcohol aren't the only way we can cope and this program is just as much about learning to cope without food as it is about what's on your plate.

Come up with a secret code that you and your hubby only know that means you sneak out to the garage for a hug and pep talk.

Focus on the positive... I know she's a pain but she gave birth to your hubby so there must be SOMETHING good about her... think of what it is now and then focus on that when she's dancing around on your last nerve.

Do they have an enormous bath tub or a hot tub or a shower with an awesome shower head? Make use of it!

Go for a walk in their neighbourhood (either with or without them) and take one awesome picture to post back here when you're back.

Come HERE for a pep talk while you're there! You must have a tablet or iPhone or the like to be able to check in with us.

Make a running list of all the moments you're overcoming while there.

And finally... go inside yourself and pull out your feeling of virtuousness. YOU are doing THIS and it's HARD. And she's not going to derail you, no sireebob! You are going to smile inside every time you pass up something and walk away with a smile on your face because you're investing in you... I mean, really, in this day and age, how often can we say that we're doing something ONLY for ourselves... not often, so celebrate this!!

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I have no better advice to give than SugarCube, but just wanted to say you're doing AWESOME, and I definitely second giving your man some snuggle time, because WOW, what a supportive and loving partner you got!

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Thank you both so much! Today I feel better, and I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I refrained from buying wine. Thinking about it this morning upset even me because I was so close to caving...and I would have regretted it terribly! (It seemed like such a good idea at the time...LOL)

 

Yes, I have an amazing husband...and I can happily say that after us being together almost 17 years (married for 15 in June). He sends me text messages during the day to keep encouraging me, and he helps as much as possible. And he's an amazing cuddler! :D He feels guilty when he opens up a beer in my presence, but I don't want to stop him because he doesn't drink much and I want him to have it as a thank-you from me (I know, it's not supposed to be a reward, but he's not doing the program...yet) for working so hard and helping me through this. Besides, it helps make me stronger the more I resist too.  ;)

 

SugarCubeOD, I like the tips on how to handle my MIL. My husband is definitely her best feature, and I'm so glad he's nothing like her. His dad is technically his step-father, but he never knew his real dad and his step-father is the dad he never had. But I'm grateful he's nothing like his step-father too because he curtainly has his own moments...

 

They're a retired, rich, condo-living couple, and we're a camping, RVing, easy-going, thrift-store-shopping family. We see eye-to-eye on nothing. I can't walk in their neighborhood because it's near a crowded beach, high-rises, and a concrete jungle. The closest lake or wilderness of any kind to them is salt water and swampy, and you can't walk near it because it stinks and is a haven for horseflies and mosquitoes. It's not a nice area at all, but they're in a 20th-floor penthouse and keep to themselves because (to them) even everybody else in both towers of the condo is below them and not worthy of their time.

 

Yup, they're tough to get a handle on.

 

But my hubby and I are working on plans to make do. I like the secret code idea to exit gracefully. The problem is that not even our sons (5 and 7) like being around them, so we can't even leave our kids with them because our boys go nuts. I homeschool because we travel so much (my husband travels for work sometimes and we tag along; homeschooling was a great solution for both hands-on education and them not missing their daddy) and the school system in our state is a nightmare, and my in-laws are constantly testing our kids and berrating us for "ruining our kids' childhood." (Side note, my kids are years ahead on both science and math and where expected with reading/writing for boys their age.)

 

And you're right, we don't do much for ourselves and I'm doing this for me. And when I'm improved, I'll be that much better of a mom and wife. I will get through this! Besides, I'm even posting my progress on FB so my friends are also helping me stay accountable. I plastered my dedication to the Whole30 as loudly as I possibly could so everyone would know and ask and pester me about it...so I HAVE to stick with it.  ^_^

 

Thank you both again so much! "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little longer..."

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PS: Yesterday was actually my Day 12. I was so worked up yesterday that I didn't realize I was actually further ahead! So today I'm at Day 13! Whoop, whoop!  B)

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Will your in-laws let you cook in their house? I would just take over making meals all weekend and spend lots of time in the kitchen ;) 

 

I have discovered that while most people do not cook veggies for breakfast, when I have been visiting people and they see what I'm making for breakfast -- scrambled eggs with mashed butternut squash mixed in and green beans and carrots on the side -- they always want some.

 

Good luck! 

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SpunkyBug--actually, my husband insisted we cook while visiting, that way my routine wasn't a pain or hindrance to anyone. ;)

And I just had to report that everything went well! Despite that my husband asked his mom not to buy sweets, wine, etc. I swear she deliberately stocked up on as much of what he said I couldn't eat as she possibly could.

But...it didn't faze me! She kept shoving a cake, cheese, and wine in my face, but I can honestly say that I was able decline it all without effort. I actually didn't even want it! Last week I would have curled up in a corner somewhere and cried because I would have wanted it. This weekend--my Day 14 and 15--was such an awakening!

Thank you all for the support! Today is Day 15! I'm halfway there and killing it! :D

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