FoodAddict Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Day One- Already feeling urge to quite. Don't worry I'm not going to, but wow does food have a hold on me. I come from a family of large overeaters. I think I've been overweight since birth, and am now at an all-time high of 338lbs at 32 years old. When I first went away to college I actually lost weight while everyone else gained the freshman 15 and was at my healthiest adult weight ever when I was 21. The secret back then was eating on my own schedule instead of that of my family, eating mostly salads because it was easy and I didn't want to take the time to cook. Mostly though, I think it was that about 4 nights a week we would slam back a bunch of shots and then go dance at the bar for about 4 hours straight. My body had never experienced that level of fitness! Of course then I got a boyfriend, became more serious about studying, gained it all back and haven't really stopped gaining since. I am a fairly logical person, so the idea of a diet never made sense to me because they usually don't actually sound very healthy (nothing but grapefruit for how many days?) or just plain stupid (I'm not going to eat something because cavemen didn't? Well maybe if they had fire they would have!), and what happens when you stop dieting anyways? So instead, I would read tons of nutritional information in books and online, and then make non-committal proclamations about how I would "try" to eat less of certain foods, or I would "reduce" the frequency of eating out, or "limit" by heavy carbs. Of course this never worked because if you don't set specific boundaries, it's really easy to break them. Before long I was once again putting whatever tastes good in my mouth without giving it too much thought, and eating until it hurt. Now I am at a point where I weight twice as much as a healthy person, I am tired all the time, have limited focus and motivation, plantar fasciitis, chronic ear aches and allergies, low-back pain, and lymphedema (severe swelling in the legs and feet due to circulation issues). My husband and I are talking about starting a family soon, so I know that now is the time to take action to improve my health and habits. I am 100% committed to this nutrition plan, unlike any other attempt at change I've ever made, and yet... like I said, it's 9:30pm on day 1 and I'm dreading having to go in the kitchen in a minute to prep food for tomorrow. All I want to do is eat ice cream in front of the TV and stop for a bagel on the way to work in the morning instead of prepping a stir fry and eggs tonight like I planned. It really shouldn't be hard, but I've had to admit to myself that I really am addicted to sugar, to pastries, to grains, and to coffee. So like any addiction, the only real way to beat it is to go cold turkey. (I wonder where that saying came from) Hello, my name is Rachel, and I am a food addict. I'm hoping that if I keep reminding myself, that it will help keep me on course. Day 1 is almost over. I can do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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