itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Hi! I'm a food/carbohydrate/sugar addict. I'm also a binge eater, emotional eater, and boredom eater. Food has taken over me and my life and I need to free myself from it. Since I'm going to be traveling and studying for the next few weeks and it's hard for me to do a complete 180 all of a sudden, I won't be able to keep myself completely Whole30 compliant. So, I'm going to do the next best thing and use these days as a way to 'prep' myself for the Whole30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 Ever since I can remember, I've always been an eater. I've been stuffing myself with food since long before my teens. Food is the center of my existence. I can't go a few hours without stuffing myself with some sort of junk. Carbs are like a drug to me. My whole day is planned around my meals. 'Meals' that have no beginning and no end. I eat an entire day's worth of calories in 15 minutes. I can't enjoy anything without eating something. Watching TV, reading, studying, talking, walking, grocery shopping, you name it. I've spent more money on food than on anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 My health is deteriorating. My doctor told me I'm a high risk for diabetes and heart disease. My self esteem, body image, relationships, studies, and all other aspects of myself and my life are suffering because of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 I get cranky and irritable just thinking of not being able to eat the foods I like. The world becomes bleak and boring. I find no joy in the things that people normally find happiness in. I've tried many times to 'fix' myself. Countless times over the years. I just never harnessed enough willpower. I know that I do have the willpower to do this. I know I WILL do this. Starting now. It's all about jumping into it and riding out the storm until things become calm again. It's never easy to come out of one's comfort zone and do the things that one absolutely loathes. It's never easy to break old habits and make new ones. It's never easy but it's also never impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 5.7.16 I had my last binge yesterday, and I'm still stuffed from it. That's why I didn't have breakfast or lunch. I know that i shouldn't be skipping meals, but i'm allowing myself this just for today. I'm going to be going out to eat with some friends later in the evening, so I am going to have to make some healthy choices and call upon my 'power' to stop me from eating things I shouldn't be. The first day is always the easiest for me, because I'm usually stuffed from a binge right before it. It's the second day onward that gets tougher as the days go by. I've never made it past day 5, so i know things will get better if I just stick to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 I woke up ravenously hungry. I couldn't help myself - no I could, but I didn't - so I reached for the box of cashews next to my bed. I counted out one ounce and promised myself that that would be it. I ended up eating 4 ounces. That amounts to 640 calories. I also ate them while reading something on my laptop. These are two things that I need to work on. On the bright side, I'm happy that I didn't eat more than that and controlled myself as I began to feel full. But, I have to absolutely stop eating as part of my entertainment, though. I know that the Whole30 isn't about calorie counting, but I need to know how much I'm eating so I can prevent a binge from happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itisi Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 I went out to eat and it was good! I had salad that I made myself eat first (I usually skip salads altogther), roast beef (it came with a slice of potato that was temptung, but I resisted), and parmesan chicken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Have you read the book It Starts With Food or looked at the Whole30 food template? I know for myself that once I actually started I felt a sense of relief and I didn't worry about how many calories I ate. I had big portions that carried me over to the next meal and over time I stopped wanting such big portions. I also remember that the first time we did the Whole30 we cleared out our fridge and pantry and gave SO many foods away to neighbors. When I walked into the kitchen in the morning, it felt freeing because I knew I could eat absolutely anything that was there. Right now I'm the only one do Whole30 and I have to bypass the amazing rye bread and granola bars and hotdogs and buns. It's easier with a cleaned out kitchen. Whole30 has been a good process for me and taught me a lot about how to eat the foods that actually nourish my body. It's so worth the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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