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Wildorchid Log Day 11...I went bathing suit shopping today......yeah...


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So yeah, I went bathing suit shopping today. Day 11. It was as bad as you might imagine. I had never seen the back fat rolls on my body as I did in the double mirror of the dressing room. I knew I was overweight but hadn't really accepted or seen the reality of what I look like. It made me want to shove ice cream in my face to numb out and cope. BUT I DIDN'T!!!  I was loving to myself, I tried on 15 different suits and found not one, but three that look good on THIS body I have now. It was an act of courageous love to not bully myself and say negative things about the state of weight and health. I am where I am because of choices I made and how I dealt with stresses. Just the fact that I was able to walk out of the store with beautiful clothes is a sign of health and good self care. I had a meal of a lettuce wrap burger with avocado and bacon with, yes, sweet potato fries. I did have sweet potato fries but in the past I would have had two pints of ice cream. I'm not perfect but I am progressing. And I stayed on the whole 30.


I've done the whole 30 for five months once. But a move and lots of stresses....well, stressed me out and I choose to eat "convenience" foods and gained back the 15lbs I had lost. Now I am back to battle for my health. 


Before I got of the whole 30 last time I felt so good. The inflammation of my stomach was gone, I had energy, I felt strong. I went on a date and my date told me that I looked "stunning". I remembered that today, looking in the mirror....I could have sooo easily sought the comfort of my old choices...but I want to look and feel stunning again. And planting my face in a pint of ice cream IS. NOT. GOING. TO. MAKE. THAT. HAPPEN. 



So today is done. Thank God. 


Be well y'all.




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