Mariaviquez Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Hello! My my name is Maria. Summary: My goal is food freedom and fat loss. Last 2 years I was a bikini competitor (bodybuilding) and I quit because I was really unbalanced in every way with my diets and overtraining. I've been 100% complaint I'm in day 13 now I exercise 6 to 7 days a week (4 weights and 3 days of 1 hour of intense cardio) I follow the template and recommendations I've been eating healthy for years I haven't felt a difference except headache, bloating and WEIGHT GAIN :(... I'm freaked out.... This is my story: (please guide me I'd really appreciate the help) I started the whole30 to be honest because of 2 main reasons, loose bodyfat and food freedom. I'm in day 13 today and I have gained so much weight that my shorts are SOO tight I cannot wear them anymore. For me this is Big and I'm really frustrated... I feel nothing is working on my body... And I've been feeling so stuck, and tryed sooo many things... I'm really sad and confused... I feel I have no clue and I'm becoming desperate by now... The thing is... For the last 2 years also I've been a bikini competitor. I consider myself a "nerd"... Or overachiever and I'm very disciplined, so I do always things by the book and have a lot of will power. Although I looked better than ever and I was a champion and my carrear was ramping up like crazy in this which I considered a hobbie I decided to stop because of how unhappy I was while doing this.... You see, Since I started dieting for competitions my hormones went crazy even leaving me without my period for 6 months one time, and the psicological effects of competing for me where devastating, to a point where I was really questioning my own existence, and that's when my partner who was suffering my depression and mood swings also, and me, decided to quit our diets and competitions. The negative effects of competing and taking all the suplements, shakes and fat burners for bodybuilding for me where amongst others: -depression, obsession with food and my body, loss of self confidence and self esteem, extreme mood swings -extreme cravings for things I've never craved before, crazy weigh gain after my competitions, hungry all the time (so much that I could not sustain my diets any more) -developed an intolerance to dairy, eggs and other food and a really low intestinal movement wich made me constipated so much that I was bloated ALL the time. So....Most of the last 2 years I've avoided alcohol, sugar and baked or processed foods (besides quest bars and protein shakes)... And it's been impossible for me until now to sustain a fit look, every time I binge back it's worse. I'm used to excersice 6 to 7 days a week combining intense or heavy weights with hiit with cardio. I stoped the weight for the last 2 months and got into a vegan diet combined with 5 to 6 days of intense cardio after my last binge... Because I even stoped enjoying the gym... But now with starting the whole 30 I came back again and I'm really over that, I'm enjoying the weight a lot again... (My last competition was this March 2016) From January 2015 until now I lost 15 pounds in 10 months, gained them back in 2 months, lost them again in 10 weeks and gained even more in the following 4 months (going up and down in this last 4 and ending up where I'm now, worse than Jan 2015... And really confused) my height is just 1.57 m so weight is easy to be noticed in my height. I love nutrition and to learn but right now I'm overwhelmed with learning and nothing seems to be a sustainable way to eat, feel and look good. I either feel or look, never both... So, I don't know if I'm eating too much although I'm following the template and I'm eating just 3 times plus post workout, I've been sleeping 7 to 8 hours, I always drink water, I retired from work young (I'm 32 years young) so I'm not stressed or running and I'm reading the book for the second time....I'm freaked out because I really don't know how to be healthier or if I even don't want to be and prefer to be fit... Because it seems not possible to me to do both. Id really appreciate your support, I don't know if I'm a weird case but I do feel like I need help to figure this out... Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staggolee41 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Hi Maria! First off, welcome! I hope we can provide the support and answers you need. As far as your shorts getting tighter/being worried about gaining weight, a few things to consider: This is not a weight loss diet... many people lose weight as a side effect, but the goal is to reset your body with healthy, good, wholesome food Many people experience bloating - this would make your shorts tighter for sure Many people experience a... reappropriation? Not a word, but it seems right... a reappropriation of body weight - ie, not really an increase in weight, just a different shape It sounds like your body has been through some intense extremes, and with that, it will take time for your gut to heal - give your body time Depression/anxiety/emotional factors come out in full force during Whole30 if you ever used food as a crutch for these things (I did! My demons did a big ol' roll call within the first 10-11 days)... these will take extra time and effort to work out, and doing so can cause extra stress, which can then lead to your body not functioning optimally As I said above, this is about hitting the reset button - you need to establish a healthy baseline for your body, which might mean gaining a little weight in the short term; once you establish this baseline, you can move it, but until then, it's being determined by factors outside of your control - genetics, environment, choices made by you in the past All in all, I'm glad you're here - it sounds like you do need to hit the reset button. The plan is 30 days, which is a drop in the bucket when you think about all the time you spent doing things you now realize were unhealthy. Give it a shot, and give yourself a little breathing room with it. It's okay to allow some changes to occur while you're resetting. I can tell you really want to be your absolute best, which sometimes means taking a deep breath and just letting your body do its natural thing (which might be whatever it needs at that time). **If you'd like - post a couple of days' worth of meals, with amounts included, and we'll be happy to take a look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staggolee41 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I also meant to reassure you a bit, that things like this do happen, and you're not the only one. Every person on this forum has a unique story when it comes to his or her personal relationship with the body, food, and fitness. I'm just floored at how much you work out - I couldn't have lifted a dumbbell that first week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcbn Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Hey @Mariaviquez and welcome to Whole30 I'm sorry to hear you're struggling a little... Staggolee has made some valid points above, but I'd just like to reiterate here that the diet you have been following for competing has (as you admitted yourself) played havoc with your hormones, and it will likely take more than 30days to fix that. I know a lot of people who compete. I've see how restrictive the diet can be at times. I've seen how they can bloat and gain weight in the days following a competition. Even when 'off season' there are still restrictions for those who are as dedicated as you sould to have been. And all of that has your body in turmoil - will I be getting carbs today? where is the food? Oooooh, peanut butter....!! wait, what, no carbs again?? Hmmm. MORE chicken & spinach.... Yep, I know the drill Right now your body is adjusting to the new food regime, and wondering if it can trust you, wondering if this is a permanent change, and wondering perhaps if it should hold on to all this delicious food because in a day or two (if history is anything to go by) you might start restricting again. Like any relationship it takes a while to build up the trust, and your body hasn't learned to trust you yet. Many people find that it takes much longer than the thirty days for that trust to come, for their body to find that 'happy place' (which incidentally may be about 5 pounds heavier than you would like/think it should be) which is why so many people extend to 45 or even 60 days. And of course this is a 30 day program - you're only on day 13 - many people don't see or feel the magic until the latter stages of the program. Also worth bearing in mind is that many people who have come from a background of over-restriction, or counting macros etc, sub-conciously limit their portions, and since you are training 6-7 times a week it's quite possible that you are under-eating, which is counter productive as your metabolism will slow so as to burn less fuel. That's difficult to tell without actually knowing what you're eating though, so it would be helpful to see a few days worth of your food log, along side activity levels. The bloat can come from a number of things - off the top of my head nuts/nut butters/dried fruit, larabars, seltzer, cruciferous veg, too much raw veg, raw cruciferous veg (double whammy!!), or foods that you are sensitive too such as high FODMAPs (think avocado, onions, garlic, sweet potato, again nuts & fruit....) The food log would helpful here to identify any such issues. Furthermore, you say you sleep well and are not at all stressed (& yet you are stressng about your weight), but training is a stress to the body in and of itself, and the fact that you are training 6-7 times a week may be stressing your body more than you realise. I assume you factor in rest &recovery days? Lastly, this is not about weightloss, although weightloss is often a pleasant side effect. This is about resetting your gut & being kind to your body, by providing it with the nutritious, wholesome fuel that it needs to be the healthiest version of you. Your history of dieting has been the antithesis of that - it's been all take take take, pushing your body to it's limits. Now it's time for you to give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liz517 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Hi Maria! I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I can only speak from my personal experience - I too, used to be obsessed with working out and my diet. I was drastically under eating, and I also lost my period for over a year. Once I stopped restricting and started eating to my body's content, I gained a LOT of weight. But I also got my period back. Like the moderator stated, I think our bodies need to be assured we will not starve them again. As long as you are following the template and nourishing your body with nutrients, TRUSTING it and what it's telling you, everything will fall into place! Yes, I did gain a lot of weight to get my period back, but my hormones are finally starting to normalize and I'm dropping weight without trying. I wish you all the best - keep your chin up, it WILL get better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariaviquez Posted August 14, 2016 Author Share Posted August 14, 2016 Hi there! I'm glad to be here and after your answers I'm a lot more glad that I wrote! So thank you thank you thank you!! Thank you from my hole being for your kindness and support, you really made my day last night when I read the comments! Now. I understand that it's not a weight loss diet, but sooner or later I look forward to loose the extra fat I'm carrying right now. Of course I understand I'm not going to look like I did for competition but I look forward for a more fit look, it's so important to me (I know it sounds dumb but it has always been like this for me)........... You see, every time I've bounced back I feel like such a a failure honestly and I really really want and need this lifestyle change also for my body composition to stabilize. Which I now understand could take some extra time given the damage I've done to my metabolism with all my past lifestyle choices........ So, ok, now I got it and this was a big one for me... My body needs my compassion and time to trust again.... I understand and agree 100%........ Now my question is if the whole 30 Kind of eating can take my body to a fitter look eventually when my hormones are healed.... Because this yes, would help me Thru the whole 30 or 60 or more given that I would never ever have to diet again, wich I really don't want to do ever... Cause it has harmed me so much. I tell you guys this.... This whole process has already been so much more than food for me... Now I'm asking myself what is the lesson here hidden as a gift for me, and what's the reason for my struggle with my bodyweight and this extra kilos that keep coming back, because I somehow believe everything in life has a purpose and maybe this all happened for me to get some kind of message.... I don't know. This is a self love process.. It's beautiful from that perspective, and thank you for reminding that to me. Thanks for the comment on the time of the whole 30 compared to the time I've done crazy diets all this years... It certainly gave me a reality check and a better perspective to have compassion and patience since 14 days is nothing compared...... Tomorrow I'll start posting my food for you to see and guide me... But to be honest I think I might be overeating instead of under.... This past dieting left me in a kind of starvation mode that I'm almost always sooo hungry, I'm getting used to 3 meals + post workout and trying to discover the portions that work for me, but sometimes I'd be even embarrassed to post how much I eat... But I'll do it for my own benefit. I think I'm getting closer to that balanced portion sizes, I have a dilemma because my mind tells me it's too much, but somehow I can perfectly eat it. I'm also enjoying so much to be able to have some fruit and "good fat" but I'm not used to it, so I might be overdoing it... But I don't know, I have a dilemma because if I start restricting myself then I'd be again repeating old patterns, so I try to stay with the template suggestions and from there eat peacefully enjoying food... But yes there still that program at the back of my head afraid to eat this things and portions because it might be too much... Most importantly you guys give me a lot of hope with your own experiences and that helps my mind specially to stay trusting and stay on track, given that not only my body but the whole me maybe had lost this trust in my own good judgement, it's time to get all that back... Have a lovely time thank you! And I appreciate your guide thru this process, I'm open to any other valuable comments you would like to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staggolee41 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Don't be embarrassed to post how much you eat. Every body is different, but the knowledgeable moderators around here will be happy to make suggestions if you need them, based on your body's reaction. To be honest, I came into this thinking it was a clean eating/weight loss fad. I never thought I'd finish it, but I had seen that a friend of my sister's had done it and looked and felt better, so I figured I'd dip my toes in and see what happened. What I got was a self-care revelation. Pre-W30, I think my head was spinning from all of life's demands, and I made many personal sacrifices - some times, I was cognizant of the sacrifice being made; others, not. Post-W30, I kmow that I have to take care of myself better, which will allow me to meet some of those family/work/society demands without making sacrifices. I also know that I can't possibly respond to all of those demands without going crazy. I have to make choices. There's a theme in what you've said about your past, body, food, and W30 experience - that there is an intense concern around what others might think of you. By all means, be proud of the hard work you've done, and how far you've come, but recognize that there is no shame in food. No shame in clothing sizes. No shame in failing. No shame in admitting a mistake. There are choices. You're an adult, and you have to make these choices as they pertain to you. Work to be fit because it shows how amazing of a thing your body is. Eat, and eat well, but choose to give your body the right fuel. Fail. Choose to get back up. Make a mistake. Choose to learn from it. This plan is asking you to listen to your body - not what others have to say about your body or food. Before I beat this point to death... Know that we are here to support you. We know, from experience, that every body is unique, weird, and beautiful in its own right. You will find loads of helpful people here. Post with abandon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariaviquez Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 You're such a sweetheart, each one of your words are full of wisdom, you're totally right and thank you for the amazing insights!! Hahaha... It's something I'd like to post in every wall so that I don't forget. Lol. Maria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariaviquez Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 You guys inspired me and I just posted my yesterday's and today's food here. The name is Maria's whole 30 food log http://forum.whole30.com/profile/98475-mariaviquez/ I appreciate your support. Maria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcbn Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 @Mariaviquez - I've commented on your food log Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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