mother bear is a stumbling block for me


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long story short. I still live at home. I'm on day 5 of my w30.

 

Last night I came home from work to my mum saying "oh I've made you some mashed potato" 

sweet, none the less (it could have been mashed with just coconut/olive oil after all and handy for dinner veggies!)

 

"oh thanks! what's in it?" "goats butter, and lactofree milk."

 

My heart sunk. The problem is, I really struggle to tell her when I'm doing something like the whole30 as she freaks out that I'm on some crazy weight loss routine and gets a bit snarky about it. 

 

So this morning I found myself feeding the cold mashed potato to the dogs before she woke up....

 

Anyone been in a similar situation?

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In a similar situation, my mom buys foods "but they're labeled all natural... Why not.?!" So yeah, been there with foods that are for me but not going IN me. 

Lots of negative emotion in your post  stumbling, struggling, heart sinking, freaking, snarking. The freaking and snarling is her problem, let it go.  The others are on you, and I say that with hard experience behind me. 

My honest advice here is just roll with it. Smile, give thanks, feed the dog. Otherwise can you make specific recipe and meal suggestions? 

 

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It's hard to give advice as everyone's family dynamic and relationships are different, but based on my experience I'd recommend focusing on the elimination diet/health angle, which people seem to respect more than weight loss. I don't live at home but I had a few family meals during my W30 where I knew I'd get questions about why I wasn't eating certain things. I gave a very brief description of W30 and emphasized that it was an elimination diet to try and figure out some minor stomach/digestive issues I was having (substitute "stomach/digestive issues" with whatever you're hoping to address by doing W30). I also said, truthfully, that my doctor had recommended an elimination diet. 

If she's going to keep making food for you that you can't eat, I think you should go ahead and explain what you're doing and that you won't be eating these foods - sneaking a bunch of food to the dogs is probably not sustainable for 30 days, and I'd expect her to notice that she never actually sees you eating the food.

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  • 1 month later...

I don't have any advice for you, just understanding.  My mom critiques pretty much what everyone except my dad and my husband eat.  (my dad, because, well, she's the one cooking for him and my husband because he wouldn't stand for it and she knows it) 
I finally realized after our last visit when she fussed at my niece, my practically grown boys and me that it wasn't about us its about her.  Our healthy choices make her uncomfortable with her unhealthy choices even though we are all just eating what we want and no one is commenting on their food, just enjoying it and being together.

She has been know to say things like, "oh, I know you don't want any, after all, you're too good to eat bread."-(This is now a standing joke in our house, because yep, I'm too good to eat bread, gee!)  Or "All you eat is meat/fat, that is so bad for you."  And, the next meal, "Is that all you're eating?  Don't you want some meat to go with that eggplant dish?  You need to eat more protein"

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  • 4 months later...

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