Defeated before even starting

[Solo24]

I am signed up to do the Whole30 and was supposed to start on Monday. I wasn't ready (groceries, recipes, etc) so I've been tucking away the emails to read one by one when I actually start. I also ordered the book and would like to have that in hand and at least making some progress on it before I actually start the program.

I just can't shake this feeling of defeat, though, before I even get started. While my long-term goal is to get healthy and very fit, my more immediate goal is weight loss (lots) and I feel like I've tried and failed so many times that why bother anymore? One more thing to tack onto a very long list of other methods, diets, etc that I've tried and failed.

Anyone dealt with this? I'm usually a can-do kind of person but I'm, to be honest, just depressed about this!

[Kirsteen]

Ok, you're NOT defeated. You HAVEN'T failed. You've just postponed your start a bit. I know it can seem overwhelming but it is totally, totally doable. I've just finished my first W30 and have liked it so much, I've decided to extend it to a W45 (at least).

I totally know where you're coming from about having tried and failed. In the past I've tried weight watchers, Rosemary Conley, Scottish Slimmers, been at ATkid, a CADette, a Fast 5er, a raw food vegan - you name it, I've tried it. I'd got to the stage I felt totally paralysed about food and what to eat.

But W30 works. It's so simple eat this, don't eat that. When you read the book, you'll realise that the sciency stuff (as she calls it ) makes so much sense. And, honestly, nothing has ever worked better to make me stop craving food, things I shouldn't have or wandering the house looking for 'something to nibble'. I've always been an evening eater. I was always fine up til my dinner but then didn't want to stop eating til I was comatose Now, I have my dinner and honestly don't think about food until the next day. I never dreamt that could happen.

For the past 6 years I have had ME and am laid up in bed a lot. I cannot excercise at all so am extremely inactive and therefore have found it inpossible to lose weight, indeed I've been putting it on. On my W30 I lost 10lbs and I'm down a size in clothes, all without ever feeling I was 'dieting' or feeling deprived. In fact, I swear I'm eating more food than I used to.

So don't feel defeated, get your groceries organised, and jump right in and join us. The water's warm I promise

[Bridget]

Don't feel defeated-just start when you can ! I have been thru several diets, done well, then failed. As I reflected on all of that a couple of months ago, I realized they were all so short term because I never felt satisfied on any of them over the long run. Also, the tracking and specifics of so many plans are just not something I was willing to do permanently.

I finished my first Whole30 in September, and I have to say it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. It was exciting to try new things, to know I SHOULD eat and not feel hungry,and it REALLY worked ! It still is working. I have reaped many of the benefits this way of life promises to those who adhere to it.

I was encouraged every day to read my daily e-mail and check off each evening that I did it. That was enough to keep me steady some days, although it wasn't as hard to follow the guidelines as I would have thought.

This IS different-and it's worth working on. Be positive. Forget all the other stuff you've tried, and give it your best.

You CAN do this.

Also, this forum has been helpful, and at times, pretty darn entertaining !

Enjoy-and best of luck !

[Kimbee88]

I have NEVER completed (what I considered), a self-sacrificing, depriving, difficult and minimalist diet like this. I know those word are not "compliant"! The truth is that I am now on day 11 and I am finding it rather easy. I hope I don't jinx myself by writing this but I feel better physically and I am not having nearly as much difficulty staying on track as I expected I would. I even had my birthday last weekend with multiple temptations and I made it through with only a little regret over the chocolate martini. Every time I think about eating something that I know is not on the plan I just tell myself that I have made up my mind to do this for 30 days and I can do anything for 30 days. When thoughts sneak in about this not being a good idea or a little bite of something not mattering I push them out of my mind and distract myself with something non-food related. I know these tactics are unsophisticated but so far so good. I have tried and failed so many times before. Something about this is different.

[befabdaily]

It will go so much better (and be more sustainable after you're done) if you try not to think about it as being terribly hard, or depriving, or self-sacrificing. I am not depriving myself -- Whole30 has caused me to go and check out all sorts of great new food resources that my town didn't even have five years ago. That's been fun! I've been to all the farmer's markets, I've learned about a year-round CSA that I'm probably going to join, I have learned who sells the best grassfed beef liver. I am not sacrificing anything -- I'm eating great quality food that is doing something really healthy for me. It's not hard and the food's not spartan -- I just had scrambled eggs and a whole small avocado for breakfast and it took 5 minutes to put together and now I won't be hungry for hours.

It's corny but the script you have about it in your head will really affect your ability to complete the month and keep mostly paleo afterwards.

[Keri W.]

Don't stress over it. It took me a good month before I actually started my first Whole 30. I didn't feel ready, and I wanted to read the book and get more info. Also, work on changing your mind...don't view this as a diet. It is a new way of living. It is health at its best. The side effect of doing healthy things for your body is a body that starts to naturally regulate itself and work at its optimum level. This means that you will lose weight, but please don't start this way of living with the idea that you will just magically drop pounds. This lifestyle is all about being healthy...mentally and physically. I understand your concern that this will become one more diet that you will fail. The choice is yours, but speaking from personal experience...I had to change my way of thinking before ANYTHING worked for me. You are setting yourself up for failure before you even start, by worrying that you will fail. Relax. Read the book, and take time to prepare. You can do this! Best wishes!!!

[whitjm5]

People are right. Something about this IS different!

Read the book. Chapter 4 really clicked with me and explained why I was never able to stick with other plans. I never "slayed the sugar dragon." So one cookie turned into a whole sleeve (or more).

I'm on day 11. Never felt better.

[Carlaccini]

Solo,

I can identify (and so can so many others) with the inner struggle. I have had a weight issue my entire life (I'm 36 y.o). Everytime someone nagged me or pushed me to do something about my weight I would rebel and not do anything at all (Terrible, I know). But one morning I woke up from a series of horrible nights of sleep, just finished a 3 day migraine, and felt like crap. And I was just tired of it. This was back in April of this year. I had no idea what I needed to do to feel better, but I made it my goal to feel better first, and then I knew everything else would follow. And just to let you know how overweight I am (was) - I needed to lose 75 lbs.

I finished my first whole 30 on Oct 1st (actually it was a whole 40). I have never felt better in my life. I did drop 8 lbs - not a lot, but how I feel has so much more value than that number on the scale. I am continuing to eat paleo for the most part with a few off roading moments. Do I honestly miss ice cream, cheese, pasta, and bread? At times, but not really.

All of this to say - you CAN do this. There is NO failing at this. The whole 30 is a lot like oil painting. You mess up, it looks horrible, you accept it, but once the paint drys you paint right over it and nobody is any the wiser. The end product is beautiful and so worth it.

Remember - dream without action remains just that - a dream. Good luck - you can and will do this. But on your own time. We ALL have our own time.

[Renee Lee]

Practically, i'm 90% sure that you can change your start date with the W30 daily, so you can "reup" the emails. you should be able to start with Day 1

[Susan W]

Yes, you can send an email to the Daily Email people and they can change it. I actually tried to change mine to start on Sept 1 rather than Sept 4 because I started my Whole30 earlier than I thought I was going to, but it didn't work, so I simply did a Whole34. It was a holiday weekend, so I think my email just went into outer space.

[Solo24]

Thanks so much for all the encouragement! I was in a funk all day yesterday and though some of it is lingering, I'm getting to the point of lifting out of it. One of my favorite "encouragers" says, "You can be pitiful or powerful but not both." So, I choose to be powerful.

One of the reasons I like Paleo in general is that I know it works for me and I know the benefits outweigh what I "can't have" and still feel good. Kinda like a little kid stomping their foot when they don't get their way. I did a deprivation diet not long ago- lost lots and it was whole foods- but very low calorie. I lost some muscle. Not okay with me. I have about 80 more pounds to lose and I'm just coming to grips with the reality that there isn't any quick fix. Because it will be a permanent lifestyle change for me, I'm trying to take my time preparing. Also have a hubby and precious girl that I want to be healthy and happy.

I appreciate you all ahring form you perspective in very real and personal ways. It helps on this journey to know that this forum is active and there's support when needed. Hopefully, I can "pay it forward" in the near future.

-Sarah

[Susan W]

Thanks so much for all the encouragement! I was in a funk all day yesterday and though some of it is lingering, I'm getting to the point of lifting out of it. One of my favorite "encouragers" says, "You can be pitiful or powerful but not both." So, I choose to be powerful.

One of the reasons I like Paleo in general is that I know it works for me and I know the benefits outweigh what I "can't have" and still feel good. Kinda like a little kid stomping their foot when they don't get their way. I did a deprivation diet not long ago- lost lots and it was whole foods- but very low calorie. I lost some muscle. Not okay with me. I have about 80 more pounds to lose and I'm just coming to grips with the reality that there isn't any quick fix. Because it will be a permanent lifestyle change for me, I'm trying to take my time preparing. Also have a hubby and precious girl that I want to be healthy and happy.

I appreciate you all ahring form you perspective in very real and personal ways. It helps on this journey to know that this forum is active and there's support when needed. Hopefully, I can "pay it forward" in the near future.

-Sarah

I call that little kid my Inner Brat and I send her to the corner quite often. I think you will find if you eat enough protein and fat and wonderful veggies, you will not feel deprived, which I'm sure is what is scaring you.

[Carlaccini]

slw600 - I will have to remember that one - Inner Brat.... it says it all right there.

I was worried about feeling deprived as well - and there were moments when I did; but it's acknowledging what you know you are doing feels right and makes sense that sends that inner brat to the corner.

I plan to do another one come November, so if you want to do it together we can. That way you can mentally prep yourself ahead of time.

[Kirsteen]

It helps on this journey to know that this forum is active and there's support when needed. Hopefully, I can "pay it forward" in the near future

I can honestly say, this forum is the most supportive I have ever come across. Every time I've asked a question, people have taken the time and trouble to answer it. The encouragement has been fantastic. I don't think I'd find the W30 experience half as much fun if it wasn't for this forum. It (along with the daily emails) has really kept me going and it's the first site I come to every day. Good luck, you can definitely do this.

[Susan W]

I can honestly say, this forum is the most supportive I have ever come across. Every time I've asked a question, people have taken the time and trouble to answer it. The encouragement has been fantastic. I don't think I'd find the W30 experience half as much fun if it wasn't for this forum. It (along with the daily emails) has really kept me going and it's the first site I come to every day. Good luck, you can definitely do this.

I totally agree. I did my first Whole 30 last August and finished my second on on Sept 30th. I didn't know about this forum last year. This W30 has been SO much more fun.