So Discouraged

[ereiam]

I did my Whole30 in August and finished up on August 30. I had been eating paleo for about 6 months before that but had started "cheating" a lot. The Whole30 totally put me back on track. I felt good and I lost 10 lbs. (I still have about 25 more pounds to lose.)

But I have totally gotten off track and it is only Oct. 11th. I'm so discouraged and don't really know what to do at this point. I had told myself that I would start another Whole 30 if I got off track again, but I didn't think it would be after 6 weeks. Really? I can only make it 6 weeks without blowing all the benefits of a W30?

Here's what I did: I decided to let myself cheat once a week (or treat as a better way to look at it). So I had chips and salsa and I had Hershey's kisses and then I started having wheat. I ate a burrito and I ate some pizza. And I was eating a lot of sugar, cookies cake, etc.

Somehow I only gained back 3 pounds, but I feel like crap. I think it's time to start another Whole30, but I wonder if this is just going to be it for me. Whole30, cheat, Whole30, cheat. Do I need to do a W30 for life? I felt so deprived while I was doing my W30 and kept looking forward to easing things up when I was done, but I have obviously loosened up way too much.

I am sick of being so f*ed up about food. I had sanity on the W30, just not satisfaction. Maybe I'm not going to have satisfaction. Maybe that's the price I will pay for sanity.

[Susan W]

I did my first Whole30 August 1, 2011. I had lost 84 lbs on a very strict diet (nothing like Paleo or Whole30..icky powdered meals) and thought Paleo would be a good transition. I had a bad habit of eating EXACTLY what you are eating to "treat" yourself. It would start with one thing and progress. I finally got sick of it and lost all the weight I had gained. I don't eat those things any more. Or if I do, it's very mindfully and with a lot of thought before hand. No more cheap chocolate cake from the grocery store. If I am somewhere that is serving an amazing dessert, I may or may not have it. I don't keep junky food in my house. I do not feel a bit deprived. The only thing I have when not doing a Whole30 is white rice with my sushi and that's maybe once or twice a month. No guilt involved. I, like David Sisson, just decided I would eat white rice occasionally as long as I suffer no ill affects or cravings from it. I don't. Eating white rice does not make me want to run to bread, pasta or beans.

Maybe your treats could be in a different form like a new blouse or manicure etc. I sort of think rewarding or treating with food is not a good idea in general. That's just me though. I just know if I did what you are doing, I'd slide into doing exactly what you are doing.

During both of my Whole30s, I also did a lot of mental work. What's important to me..my optimal health and self control.

[Emily]

In 2012 I've done a Whole30 every quarter (January, April, July, now October). In the eight weeks in between I've been working working riding my own bike and gradually improving, but by the last two weeks I'm often in a similar spot to where you are now.

I suggest doing another Whole30 (or a Whole14 if you think that would work), re-evaluate your plan for riding your own bike (were you really only treating yourself once a week?), and try again. It's a process.

[TrayS]

Totally agree, it's a process, and ereiam I feel your pain. I finished my W30 about a month ago (Sept 10), then my wedding was five days later and then I went to Europe for a couple weeks. Basicially, I did really well for the first several days but then I stepped on the slippery slope of wine and cake and proceeded to dive face first into the delicious bread-filled European treats and Oktoberfest beer (yum). Also, I acquired a bacterial infection and ended up on IV antibiotics in Germany, so by the time I got home I was a world away from the post-whole30 energy-filled bliss I'd experienced just a few weeks prior. Talk about discouraging.

So now I've been home for 2 weeks. Basically I'm back to paleo, but not W30. I am thinking of this time as part of learning to ride my own bike, to make mostly good choices while allowing myself to consume the things that are on my F-off scale (red wine and coconut water). But I find that I am teetering on the edge of the slippery slope that for me is wine, and may need to do a W30 or even a W14 soon if I can't maintain self control.

But I do think that is the key - maintaining self control, not by looking at it as deprivation and limiting yourself, but by consciously deciding your #1 priority is you and your health. Your mind and body have to be on the same side in order for any of this to be successful ultimately - I think that is the point of W30 and the place you need to reach before going off it even if it takes longer. Obviously it takes effort to get there. Personally I found myself there, and then not there anymore, and now I have to work to get back, which is frustrating at times but I know it's worth it in the end.

I think the most important thing to remember is that every day is a new day and each moment an opportunity to start making good choices again. Don't give up!

[MingoNW]

I am familiar with this phenomenon and have been through it. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this when I get to the end of my stretch but I know that I like structure and rules, in black and white that take the decision making, the gray area, the negotiation out of it. Once I get momentum, it's not that hard. One of the things I'm considering after my whole 45+ is going on a Primal blueprint plan for long term, which is a little less restrictive and has some structure for a little dark chocolate once in a while. But I'm not going to decide now. I'm going to see what happens at the end of the experience, after everything I learn from the support emails, after what happens with my body, etc.

So far I don't think I'm one of those people who gets obviously sick from a little dairy or grain, based on previous attempts, but we'll see what happens after the full whole 30+. Maybe I am and I don't know it.

The thing that is helping me stick to things now is that I know that the reason behind this is body chemistry, and even trace elements affect the chemistry. It's not about just losing weight, which allows for a lot of wiggle room as far as justifications (hey, I ran, I can fit in 200 calories of bread/dairy/sugar - or more if I run extra long tomorrow....)

[Renee Lee]

Do NOT be discouraged. First of all, you know exactly what you need to do to get back on track. That should be a relief.

Secondly, the hyperpalatable foods that got many of us in this position in the first place are DESIGNED to suck you back in. It will take a few times of failed experiments to figure out what you can handle and what you can't. It is a long process, even for people that have been doing this for a LONG time.

I'll be honest with you. I stress ate a bunch of mini twix bars at the office a couple of weeks ago. This set off a bunch of poor choices since then, ending with birthday cake and a banana split (hey, there were bananas and fresh strawberries in it. It's totally paleo).

Anyway, i'm not beating myself up about it. I'm actually really happy to have recognized what a trigger the stress was, coupled with the sugar bombs. I know what happened and how to avoid it in the future. For me, I don't need the rigidity of a W30 to get me back on track. You may this time.

Learn from this!

[ladyhoward]

I agree with the others. I think it's so easy for people to think that their lives will be simpler after the Whole30 - it takes time. Plus, it's not a destination that you arrive at one day and stay at forever. It's a journey - one that takes place each day. I read somewhere where someone made the analogy of our health being a spectrum and we all fall somwhere on that spectrum. Our goal should always be to move toward the healthy end of the spectrum vs. the sick end. But we don't just stay in one spot forever - we are constantly moving back and forth as we make certain decisions about our food. Some days we'll be closer to healthy, others we'll move back toward the other end. You don't need to beat yourself up about the days when you go the wrong way. Just recognize it, and move the other way. At the same time, though, you'll need to figure out what foods will move you in the right direction and what ones won't - we all have our triggers and sometimes it's just best to eliminate them completely in exchange for peace of mind. I don't think 30 days is enough time to make those determinations. The psychological pull that certain foods have cannot always be broken that soon. Keep your chin up - you'll figure it out. Be happy with the success you've had already - you should be very proud of yourself!

[ereiam]

Wow. The coolest thing about this forum is getting busy at work and coming back and finding thoughtful, helpful and kind replies. Thanks for all of the great wisdom shared.

Here's what I'm taking away from this:

It's a learning process and hopefully a process toward better and better health.

That my health is the priority.

That self control is so important, more important than selling my sanity for a cupcake.

And TrayS, you hit the nail on the head. Your mind and body have to be on the same page. I've been there and I know how to get back.

Thanks, everyone!

[anjelevil]

I did my Whole30 in August and finished up on August 30. I had been eating paleo for about 6 months before that but had started "cheating" a lot. The Whole30 totally put me back on track. I felt good and I lost 10 lbs. (I still have about 25 more pounds to lose.)

But I have totally gotten off track and it is only Oct. 11th. I'm so discouraged and don't really know what to do at this point. I had told myself that I would start another Whole 30 if I got off track again, but I didn't think it would be after 6 weeks. Really? I can only make it 6 weeks without blowing all the benefits of a W30?

Here's what I did: I decided to let myself cheat once a week (or treat as a better way to look at it). So I had chips and salsa and I had Hershey's kisses and then I started having wheat. I ate a burrito and I ate some pizza. And I was eating a lot of sugar, cookies cake, etc.

Somehow I only gained back 3 pounds, but I feel like crap. I think it's time to start another Whole30, but I wonder if this is just going to be it for me. Whole30, cheat, Whole30, cheat. Do I need to do a W30 for life? I felt so deprived while I was doing my W30 and kept looking forward to easing things up when I was done, but I have obviously loosened up way too much.

I am sick of being so f*ed up about food. I had sanity on the W30, just not satisfaction. Maybe I'm not going to have satisfaction. Maybe that's the price I will pay for sanity.

I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this.I have been in the same boat and seeing your post today made me feel better as I know it's not just me.

I lasted a lot less than 6 weeks and have been trying to restart now for about a month.I get to 5-7 days and then fall back.

I ate wheat yesterday and today I feel depressed and ill.Let's not even talk about the sugar I have been eating.

I hope things are improving and you are able to stick to it.

I think we spoke the last time and we were both saying we weren't sure if we could go back to eating other things.

I know that I can't.I am an addict and I need to get my addiction under control.

[jhmomi]

You can do this!

As I have stated before. I am a slow learner. Whole30 #1 in February followed by major continuous offroading over the summer. Whole30#2 in August. Lots of offroading the past two weeks for a number of reasons but I am seriously tired of it and ready to eat clean again. Not going to get down on myself though because I am still way better than I was in January. I will continue doing future rounds of the Whole30 until the healthy habits stick more permanently. Two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back. Still ends up in forward progress over time. I am happy to be much healthier than I was a year ago. And more content with myself in a number of ways than I have ever been before.

Never give up on your goal to get HEALTHIER and you WILL get there! Just don't give up on yourself!