I can do this!

[Divachef]

*I've finally realized that I have to change the way that I speak about MYSELF.  So instead of my original title of "Enough is Enough" which is a bit of a condemnation in itself, towards myself, I've decided to use some positive affirmation. I CAN do this!*

 

Hello everyone and welcome to my very first Whole 30!!! This is Day 1 and while I had a meltdown last night about not being prepared enough for this, I'm here and I'm ready.

A bit about me: My name is GaNeane (pronounced like Janine). I'm 45 years old and I live in Northern California, though I'm originally from SoCal. However I have determined that living hundreds of miles away from home is the best way to prevent my mother from being on my couch when I get home from work!  I have 2 grown daughters, Jasmine, (24) and Kaelyn (22) and I have a bonus daughter  (we'll call her The Kid, 15) as well. I live with my partner of 2.5  years Terrie and we bought our first home 6 months ago. I"m a USN Veteran and I've been a Surgical Technologist for over 26 years. I'm also a Lyft Driver, as well. 

I'm about 70 pounds overweight and I'm only 5'2. Being in a happy, loving relationship adds weight! LOL. Plus, admitted foodie. I used to be a personal chef and I love to cook. And I love bacon. And butter. SO GLAD I can have both with this! (well, ghee, of course!) I'm currently out on medical leave for a back issue and even when I'm not exercising is not a regular part of my life. Hoping that once my eating gets on track so will my moving.

I'm an emotional eater, a bored eater, a stressed eater, an eater. I'm not a big sugar fan, as in sweets or candy or desserts, but I'm a CARB fan as in rice and potatoes and fried food. Not a huge bread person so cutting that out isn't a problem. I DO love veggies and real food. I"m also a perfectionist and in the past I've fallen off track on so many diets when I can't do it PERFECTLY. Really trying to work on that by taking this literally ONE DAY AT A TIME. I like the daily emails because if you didn't manage to stick to the program that day you just do it all over again. 

 

So, now that you know me, let's get to Day 1!

[Divachef]

Day 1: 

I was melting down last night because i was unprepared. I DID make an entire week's worth of meal planning, but I didn't go to the store. I was GOING to say that i was too lazy to go, but again, watching how I talk about MYSELF. So I simply chose NOT to go out in the middle of a rainstorm to grocery shop.  However, when I got up this morning to take The Kid to school (partner works nights and came home and crashed), I made a list for what I need TODAY and headed out to the store.

I came home and make a BLT Breakfast Salad to start and I feel pretty good about it! It's delicious too!

So, some thoughts:

1st: How in the hell do you do this on a budget? For a FAMILY? Eating healthy is expensive; Whole 30 compliant bacon is RIDICULOUSLY expensive! Not only am I feeding a family that isn't doing this with me, but I'm also on a serious budget since I'm on medical leave. This is what has me worried the most, that I won't be able to AFFORD to do the entire 30 days. I AM going to look into making my own bacon, and also I will try and drive for Lyft as much as I can to make extra money. 

2rd: I planned meals for a week, but only bought for a day. SEE: Budget. Plus, mentally I truly have to take this ONE DAY AT A TIME. I can't worry about Day 7 or Day 23. I can only worry about TODAY. Being off work means, of course that I can cook whenever I need to. This will adjust once I return. 

3th: coffee with coconut milk is an....acquired taste. I'll just leave that right there. 

IVst: my bowl is emptry and my tummy is full. Time to get my day started!

[ShannonM816]

If you Google whole30 budget, you should find past discussions about how people find ways to save money.

Bacon is really tasty, but it's not your most cost effective option.  When I do buy some, I use the bacon grease to cook in so I can get the flavor in more foods and get a little more bang for my buck -- but I honestly rarely buy it, it makes more sense to me to spend my money on other things.

Do look for less expensive cuts of meat and plan meals around them, rather than picking recipes and then buying those items regardless of price. Frozen vegetables can be cheaper than fresh at times, and are also convenient to have for those days when you don't have a meal ready to go when you need it. Go with simple meals most of the time -- you don't need things like almond flour or coconut aminos if those aren't in your budget. 

[Divachef]

1 hour ago, ShannonM816 said:

If you Google whole30 budget, you should find past discussions about how people find ways to save money.

Bacon is really tasty, but it's not your most cost effective option.  When I do buy some, I use the bacon grease to cook in so I can get the flavor in more foods and get a little more bang for my buck -- but I honestly rarely buy it, it makes more sense to me to spend my money on other things.

Do look for less expensive cuts of meat and plan meals around them, rather than picking recipes and then buying those items regardless of price. Frozen vegetables can be cheaper than fresh at times, and are also convenient to have for those days when you don't have a meal ready to go when you need it. Go with simple meals most of the time -- you don't need things like almond flour or coconut aminos if those aren't in your budget. 

Thank you and welcome! I've been saving bacon grease for years and I use it for so much. Though I did throw it all out and started a fresh, compliant batch this morning.I do tend to just find recipes I want to cook, then worry about cost later. I need to change that, though I don't want to eat chicken every day! I've been avoiding recipes with specialty stuff because ain't nobody got time for that lol or money!

[Divachef]

More Day 1 thoughts:

 

I think about food ALL THE TIME when I'm "dieting". I think about what my next meal needs to be. I think I'm hungry when I'm NOT hungry. As I was out today I was so focused on WHEN I was going to come home to make lunch. Part of that was because Terrie is sleeping and I don't want to disturb her, but I need to make lunch and dinner too. But part of this is because my mind literally can't seem to think of anything else!

I don't believe i am HUNGRY right now. I think what I am is thirsty. I'm going to down a big glass of water, maybe have some tea (no sweetener) and see how I feel.

[Divachef]

8 hours ago, Divachef said:

More Day 1 thoughts:

 

I think about food ALL THE TIME when I'm "dieting". I think about what my next meal needs to be. I think I'm hungry when I'm NOT hungry. As I was out today I was so focused on WHEN I was going to come home to make lunch. Part of that was because Terrie is sleeping and I don't want to disturb her, but I need to make lunch and dinner too. But part of this is because my mind literally can't seem to think of anything else!

I don't believe i am HUNGRY right now. I think what I am is thirsty. I'm going to down a big glass of water, maybe have some tea (no sweetener) and see how I feel.

To continue...so far, I am have confidently pushed the YES button on a totally compliant day!!

But....oh, there is a but...I am entering the danger zone. I normally work nights, 12 hour shifts. But I'm off work...and my girlfriend works nights. So I'm often just UP until the wee hours because I'm trying  to sleep at my normal times that I'm working. And also because I work nights I'm used to having lunch around 1 AM....so these nights that I'm just UP, my body ALSO expects to be eating. I will admit that my Sugar Dragon is wide awake in the middle of the night. Getting up to go grab some leftovers or something salty or sometimes even sweet is not uncommon. I really need another name, because it is rare I reach for something sweet...But you get the point. I've also gotten used to my nightly glass of wine or cocktail, so much that I tend to make it without thinking. Though, since my girl just went to nights, instead of coming home at 10 PM like before, we only have a night cap on her days off.

So I said all of that to say that I'm a bit apprehensive about THIS night. I'm truly not hungry. I've eaten today:

BLT Breakfast Salad, Bacon Chicken Salad for lunch and Chicken Fajita Bowl with Cilantro Lime Cauli-Rice for dinner. I've eaten PLENTY today. 

 

 

But Winter (nighttime) is coming.

 

But you know nothing, John Snow. I CAN DO THIS!!!

[Divachef]

Day 2

I am SO thankful for those Daily Emails! I didn't realize I hadn't read Day 0 all the way through and I'm glad that I did because it led me to the Whole 30 Timeline! Last night I had SUCH a headache, but I'm proud that I managed to distract myself from food...by watching a show ABOUT food  I binge-watched America's Worst Cooks until I fell asleep. 

So, I got a bit of a slow start today: I had physical therapy today in the pool, which, on top of the tiredness I'm already feeling had me just feeling BLAH. (I'm eating a plate of roasted banana nut squash right now). I actually didn't have breakfast until closer to noon, and even then it wasn't what I had planned BUT it was still compliant. I realize I'm not drinking enough either, so I need to work on that. I just recently got on the water bandwagon, I've always hated drinking it, but I do feel better when I'm drinking it regularly. My profession is in an operating room, so drinking a gallon a day isn't going to happen. I can't take bathroom breaks whenever I feel like it! Eventually, I did go to the store and got my planned lunch and also ingredients to make Barbacoa in the crock-pot.

I realized this morning that I am NOT that person (and neither is my household) who can just eat the same thing 5 days in a row. Boredom is a HUGE trigger for me and that includes FOOD boredom. When I thought of repeating my breakfast and lunch from yesterday I was like, um NO. Now, in the past that would of just thrown me way off track and I would of been like, well, eff it then! But I held on to my title that I CAN DO THIS. After I ate a quick meal (not nearly enough, but enough to tide me over) I went to the store and came back to prepare for dinner, etc. Took a nap, got up and ate what would of been my breakfast and I feel like I am NOW on track!

I'm still feeling a bit tired, so I'm not going to do any driving today. i'm going to do some of my strengthening exercises my therapist gave me and then ice my back and rest.

OAN: Since Terrie finally has a Friday night off for the first time since we've been together, she now has every Friday off (and I have every Thurs-Sun off each week...I know, #donthate) we've been making a point to have date night and date day. Last week we went to sip and paint and had so much fun. This week, as I was thinking of what to do, I realized that ALOT of date night ideas and things we like to do revolve around drinks and food! So I'm on the hunt to find something to do that while it may include at least drinks (for her), that I will still have options for me...like, I guess water? unsweetened iced tea? I think that is about all I can eat out!

[Divachef]

I am going to have an extraordinary day today: DAY 3

I've decided to use my daily affirmation as the title for each day of Whole 30. Methinks I may reopen my blog one day...

So today we a definite carb flu day. But what I've noticed is that the headache and tiredness tends to show up late afternoon. I seem remember that when I'm feeling like this to eat some fat, so I had me an avocado and then took a nap. GREAT ADVICE that nap, though it was pretty short, I kept needing to get up. 

I was successful on this day, so I'm happy about that! And I've come to the conclusion that I truly need an InstaPot. I didn't realize just how much you can do with them and I'm spending WAY TOO MUCH time in the kitchen! And once I go back to work this is going to be a serious issue. So it will be Amazon Prime to the rescue!

What I am MOST proud of myself on this day is that I had to go to The Habit ( a burger joint) to pick up lunch for The Kid to bring her at school. There is no drive through and they make each burger to order. So I managed to sit in there...and not order anything for myself! I kept looking at the menu, but quite frankly I knew that I couldn't guarantee and entirely Whole 30 experience, even if I could make it Paleo-ish. And I didn't want to do a reset button either! So I got her burger, and fries and strawberry shake and brought it to her without even peeking in the bag! So yes, I had an EXTRAORDINARY DAY!!

 

[Divachef]

Day 4 and 5: I LIVE A FULL LIFE

 

I totally skipped journaling yesterday. I was pretty sore and achy in my back. I also managed to get a good amount of sleep in! I needed it and I feel better for it.

I did stay on plan, despite really feeling some cravings  going on. I'm not even a big pasta person but as I was making some for the rest of the family (I have non-compliant lasagna meat sauce that I needed to use up) those spaghetti noodles looked AMAZING!! LOL I dislike zucchini so I won't be making any zoodles for me! We even went into Total Wine which is this ye GODS amazing wine and liquor superstore. Terrie wanted some tequila (which I don't drink anyway) and I told her we have to get in and get out! Before I start looking at bottles of wine and whiskey (MY drink of choice). The good thing that came out of this is that I realized that I can have OLIVES!! I love OLIVES!!! I did a quick Google search to make sure guar gum was okay (IT IS) and I thoroughly enjoyed those Habenero stuffed green olives

 

Today, Day 5, I again had physical therapy this morning and boy, that was a workout! What I'm finding is that I'm not really eating breakfast on PT days. I think it is okay. Eventually I do get at least 3 meals in by bedtime, so I don't think it matters so much. I'm combating food boredom because there are SO MANY Whole 30 blogs and sites for recipes out there! I'm really geeked about making some of this food. Today's Daily Email was EXACTLY what I needed: dealing with social situations. We are attending a fundraiser BBQ for our daughter's softball team tomorrow . Wine Tasting included EEEK!!!!! So that  email gave me so many tips. I will definitely eat beforehand, because I"m pretty sure any BBQ sauce is going to have sugar in it, if not other nono foods. And I loved the idea of a club soda with lime and olives. In fact, I'm drinking that right now! I was getting bored with plain water and I know I wasn't drinking enough, but I didn't think I had many other options other than unsweetened tea, which I do have at night. I think I need to research what we can and can't drink on this.

My other struggle is fruit. I KNOW that fruit is allowed....but I see it and immediately think SUGAR. And SUGAR BAD. (yes, I'm working on my food freedom of thought!). Plus, I don't want to be guilty of using it to tame my Dragon. I have had a couple of nights where I needed a snack of something before bed and I had a handful of grapes, which satisfied me. I hope that wasn't really just feeding my Dragon. What I've started doing it incorporating it in actual meals, and not just something to grab. Like the Salmon Veggie Power Bowl I'm eating now, which called for raspberries, but I had some frozen blueberries so I threw them in. That nice punch of sweet is great. I had apples in a breakfast salad and that worked too!

[Divachef]

I'm realize that most folks are using this as a food log, but I personally love to journal, so that's what it is for me. My Whole30 journal!

Day 6: MY POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

Another successful day and I am just AMAZED that I am actually coming up on an entire successful week! I'm so freaking proud of myself!!! Just came back from the BBQ fundraiser and did good. Drank club soda, and gave my wine tasting to someone else. All I could eat was the grilled chicken and brisket  (the sauce was on the side) and dill pickles, but that was just fine because I ate a good meal beforehand. Then stopped at the store on the way home to do some good shopping. 

I picked up some fruit cups in 100% juice, no preservatives, but they will be used VERY sparingly as I don't want to eat them when I'm craving, but rather as part of a planned meal. 

 

Today was  a great day! I'm a little wheezy, but I think because the casino is full of smoke. Other than that, no real crazy symptoms, my energy seems to be okay, though I did take a couple of naps today. Still not sure what to do about the suggestions in today's emails *shrug* 

[Divachef]

DAY 7: I AM CONFIDENT, ENTHUSIASTIC AND PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING I DO

I actually did it!! I did a whole week on Whole 30!!! Stuck to it! And even though The Kid is currently eating McDonald's in front of me I'm still so damn proud of myself! (even though those are my absolute FAVE fries!!!) I've never done ANY diet plan totally perfectly, no cheating in my LIFE. And for once, I feel like this way of eating is actually sustainable. 

I did have some moments today: I went to church and all through it you could SMELL the most delicious smell of garlic, like on garlic bread. Turns out that a chef who is a member cooked up a huge batch of focaccia for the congregation. I hightailed it out of there immediately after church lol. 

Today I made Creamy Broccoli Soup. This ended up being pretty thin, so I stirred in the leftover mashed potatoes from last night. I may need to look into approved thickeners, like arrowroot or something. 

[Divachef]

DAY 8: I HAVE THE WILLPOWER AND THE MINDPOWER TO OVERCOME MY CHALLENGES

I slept ALOT today. Didn't get up until well after noon, which really surprised me! I felt like my entire day was gone by the time I really got up and started cooking things lol. But it was a good day nevertheless. My InstaPot arrived today and while what I had planned for dinner wasn't something for it, I still used it to make a pot of Jasmine rice for The Kid and The Woman. I stuck to my delicious Curry Pineapple Rice, along with the Tandoori Chicken on the same recipe (made the chutney and totally forgot about it!)

A member here directed me to an EXCELLENT article on working nights and doing a Whole 30 or eating Paleo. It was EXTREMELY helpful for not only me, but also I've passed some of the tips and tricks on to Terrie who is relatively new to the night shift life. I'm excited to put everything into effect!

[Divachef]

DAY 9 AND 10: I MAKE TIME FOR THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST TO ME

I think I'm finally starting to feel some of those digestive issues that were promised. Nothing too severe, but I can definitely feel the rumbling in my tummy. I feel like I'm flushing alot of toxins away, so that's good. I do suffer from IBS-D, so I'm not sure if I'm having an episode or just the program working. I choose to believe the program is working.

I'm so in love with my Instant Pot! Dinner was ready in a SNAP. And I discovered  a freezer menu planning service that I believe will make things easier not only now, but once I go back to work. Terrie doesn't really cook and neither does The Kid, but if I spend a day cooking all they have to do is take it out the fridge and stick it in the InstaPot or whatever. 

A bit tired and achy today but it was also a PT day. Going to just drink some hot bone broth and relax. 

[Divachef]

Day 11 and 12: I CREATE OPPORTUNITIES FOR MYSELF TO SUCCEED

 

In an effort to combine the tips from both yesterday (exercise) and today (stress reduction) I embarked upon a 30 Days of Yoga for beginners. Other than my weekly PT visits I'm pretty sedentary while off work. At work I'm on my feet the majority of the time, pushing and pulling heavy things as well. But since I've been off, particularly if my back is achy, I'm sitting in my comfy recliner couch and not just because I can spend hours gaming, but also because the position it lets me be in is the most comfortable for my aching back, especially if I have an ice pack as well. It reclines into a 3/4 position that is more comfortable than sitting upright or even lying down. 

But I DO realize I have to get more and regular exercise in. And that will directly impact my stress level. So I'm doing 30 days of Yoga. Today was Day 1 and I actually did better than I thought I would. This instructor is great. Not too fast, not too slow, she doesn't just assume you know all of the special phrases and terms, but she also gives you space if you DO to push a movement if you are comfortable with it. I did have to modify a few poses and me and planking is nearly non-existent, but I did the entire video without giving up which is more than I can I've done before! I'm pretty proud of myself actually and I totally credit both Whole30 and my Daily Affirmations with engendering a different mindset in myself. I've even started to face and find solutions to a big non-health (well, directly) related issue I've been avoiding for years: taking control of my finances. 

Another NSV: so, we went out to dinner last night and I put on a pair of jeans that I normally find to be a bit uncomfortable around the waist band. They are nice, dark blue jeans that look rather slimming on me, but the waist can be rather tight when I'm sitting down. Well, I put them and though they weren't exactly falling of me, I did have a teensy bit more wiggle room in them than previously. The real test was how long I could sit down in them without feeling like my belt buckle was digging into my stomach. Well, we took The Kid to a volleyball game, hung out at a BBQ joint while she was there (where I had unsweetened iced tea and a side salad with oil and vinegar -- yay me!) and then afterwards we went to a boiling seafood joint (more on that later). I was completely comfortable in my pants, no digging, no need to undo the belt and/or top buttons or anything! For me, that is a definite NSV, one which I really needed because I'm so tempted to jump on a scale! There is one at PT and I eye it every single time. But I"m going to not get on it, not allow those numbers to get into my headspace.

So, an observation: once again, after eating crab out at a restaurant, I experienced bloating and some stomach distress. Last night I ordered a single Dungeness crab, steamed with NO sauce, NO butter, just steamed. And that was it. I ate 1 red potato and had a couple of whole shrimp from my partner's plate. And I had hot, unsweetened Jasmine tea to drink. As soon as dinner was over I felt bloated and gassy, so I'm wondering if the 2 places I've had what I think is plain, steamed crab is actually giving me something else in the mix that I don't want. So, no more crab while eating out, because it is obviously something I can't fully control. Whatever it is, I don't like it. I DO like how I'm able to instantly notice the inflammation happening, rather than walking around in a perpetual state of inflammation.

TMI SIDENOTE: I TOTALLY forgot the effect asparagus has on your urine! I had apsaragus for dinner the night before and then finished it off for breakfast and I apparently wasn't drinking enough water because OH MY GOD!!! I literally thought our waste drain had broken or something!! But it was me and my asparagus pee!!!

Ah well! Today will be about pampering myself, as I have my regular mani/pedi scheduled. And then I need to get out there and drive This is a potential goldmine weekend for me and Lyft!

I don't know if anyone is reading this but me, but if you are have an AWESOME day!

[Divachef]

Day 13, 14 and 15: I CAN DO WHATEVER I SET MY MIND TO

Halfway through! Let's do a check in with what's going on with me

• starting to get a little food bored, particularly with breakfast. Getting the Instant Pot has helped, now I need to work on getting some of the tools that were recommended in the daily email to make my prep time less. I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME washing dishes these days...
• some days are better than others at eating 3 actual meals. Today is a good example: I slept really long thanks to the sleep aid that I take sometimes at night (lifelong insomniac here), plus not really having anything I needed to get up for this morning. Terrie got home from work, we got The Kid to school and then we both crashed until after 2 PM. By then it was time to figure out whether or not The Kid was coming home or had softball conditioning or going to her other mother's house. Once we figured out that she was coming home for a scary movie night and to hand out candy that meant I needed to go to the store for candy and food to make nachos and tacos for her (by request). So really, my taco salad bowl was all that I ate today as it is now 10 PM. I'm not particularly hungry, which I don't know if that means anything or not. I worry that I'm not getting enough nutrients, or that I will send my body into starvation mode and so I won't actually be burning fat right now
• Sleep is prolly my biggest deal, mainly because there is no structure to my life right now, other than taking The Kid to school. Being off work has gotten me all out of wack.  Some days I have to really think about what day of the week it is!
• Cravings are in full force at times. But I don't know if it is my pride or what, but I simply REFUSE to start this 30 days over! Lately it has been for peanut butter and jelly sandwich, something I almost NEVER eat. Today was a bit of a challenge because I sorely miss cheese and I made a wonderful nacho spread and tacos for the family. But again, if nothing else, my pride won't let me take even a tiny taste! I'm determined to get through these 30 days!
• I admit, that I AM looking forward to the end of the 30 days; hopefully not to just binge and go back to what I'm doing. I'm hoping that mentally I will have reset enough or seen enough progress physically that I will be able to satisfy my craving with just a taste. Looking forward to reintroduction, that's for sure. Though I WILL continue eating Paleo and clean, because I actually like this way of eating. I just can't wait to have the option of choosing a glass of wine, or having an actual taco. 
• I THINK some weight may have been lost. Terrie thinks so. I tend to live in leggings so I don't know. I hope so. For better or worse, that number on the scale matters to me. 
• I'm proud of myself and Terrie is too! I really didn't believe I would get past the first couple of days and here I am halfway through!