Making My Own Happiness

[Julia.S.D]

For as long as I can remember in my 24 years, food and I have not been good friends. I have always regretted everything I ate, whether it was too many portions of the healthiest food or a single portion of the least healthiest. And yet despite how conscious I was about it or how much grief and shame I felt, my snacking habits were (are) uncontrollable. I started counteracting it with exercise, especially weight lifting, but this only made my snacking worse because I started telling myself it was ok and that I needed the calories. Then whenever I would get into an exercise rut, I would still be eating the same way. It was like something or someone was forcing me to stand up, walk to the kitchen, and grab a handful of cereal, even though I knew I didn't need it or want it. I would fall into a downward spiral of depression filled with shame and self-deprecation. I knew what I was doing was wrong and yet I couldn't get myself to stop, which ultimately made the negative feelings a thousand times worse.

So I'm done. I'm done feeling disheartened, disillusioned, disgusted. I'm done constantly worrying about every calorie that I put in my body. I'm done looking in the mirror and calling myself names because I ate too many servings of squash or popcorn. I'm done mopping around wishing things were better yet not doing anything about it.

And here I am. I'm on my third day of Whole30 and things are going well so far. I actually don't mind black coffee (definitely easier than battling cancer). But even though things feel good now, I can already tell my willpower is going to shrink soon and I'm hoping to find a support system that will keep it from disintegrating completely.

I want this (happiness, health, satisfaction, pride, etc.) so badly and I am finally realizing it's up to me to make it happen. I want this to be not just a lifestyle and diet change, but also a lesson in discipline and self-motivation that will carry-on for the rest of my life. I'm excited to finally start taking these steps and can't wait to meet all of you making the same journey!  

[ArtFossil]

You are wise beyond your years. 

There are lots of great resources here and lots of help. Follow the meal template and you will feel so well nourished and satisfied you won't need willpower. 

[kirkor]

46 minutes ago, Julia.S.D said:

I want this (happiness, health, satisfaction, pride, etc.) so badly and I am finally realizing it's up to me to make it happen. I want this to be not just a lifestyle and diet change, but also a lesson in discipline and self-motivation that will carry-on for the rest of my life. 

Type this up big and display it prominently.