Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Well, I am starting over,. I origianlly started October 15th and "fell off the wagon" on the evening of Oct 20th. Today, is day 2 (started again October 22) on my second attempt at the challenge. Below is my an account of my fall from grace It is what it is and I own the choices that I made. Now it is important to just move forward. http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/3903-starting-october-15/page__view__findpost__p__36846 When I originally started this I thought my husband was going to be following right behind me, while we did our best with our 2 girls. But he has decided to wait until after the holidays Sound familiar to anyone? To give him credit he is going to get more familiar with the "It starts with food" book and do start planning more meals so that it will be easier for him to succeed. We have used a paleo template for several months in the home (we actually live apart while I am finishing school), but when out at events, or at a friend or family member's house we didn't it was feel necessary to go out of way to follow how we ate at home. My husband asked me, "why torture yourself and be miserable because you are missing out on the foods and things you enjoy?" He is obviously not quite ready for the challenge. I did struggle with that question all weekend. When we were at my daughter's School Fall Festival on Friday my family was eating all the food provided with dinner (nachos, chili, hotdogs) plus each having a cupcake, while I picked at some pulled pork and was starving. Granted that is not how my family typically eats, but what I felt left out even though I didn't really want to eat those foods. When I am having moments of weakness that question will sneak up on me. When I am done with the challenge I will have to determine whether I want to keep going or transition all the way or part of the way to where I was prior to the challenge. Then there is the question of how do I incorporate this into my household when Brian and my philosophy is not quite matching up. We keep discussing that we need to determine our family health/eating priorities, but we never quite come to a concise decision. Should eating be this complicated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tom Denham Posted October 23, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 23, 2012 I am sorry you feel you are missing out at events. I went to an event Sunday night that was catered by a barbeque place. I had two servings of pork, two servings of chicken, four servings of coleslaw, and two bottles of water. I didn't feel like I was missing anything even though I didn't eat the baked beans, mac and cheese, peach cobbler, banana pudding, sweet tea, beer, or wine. I guess it is a matter of focus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 I was I just insulted for my lack of focus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Hi Carrie, I know how you feel. During my whole 30 a family gathering was set up for my cousin's 50th. It was at a restaurant. I thought we would be order our food accordingly so I would be able to order at least a salad. But instead my aunt pre-ordered everything. And not one thing was compliant. I landed up picking apart a rice roll just so I could eat the wee bit of chicken that was inside of it. Decided that was so wasteful and that I would just stick it out an focus on socializing rather than food. But I was soooooo hungry and those Nachos with cheese looked so good..... But then I weighed it and it just wasn't worth it. Lesson learned - if I go to an event I just need to eat a small meal a head of time so I don't go completely hungry and give into a wrong food choice. Remember eating good food is a choice. You cannot force someone to make the same food choices as you. My BF (we live togther) did not do the whole 30 with me. Infact he was completely against me doing it in the begining. But now he at least understands it and no more thinks its an "impossible diet". We eat mainly paleo type of foods at home now. But he can't give up his bread, cereal and pasta. And while I get it, and he gets it that those foods make him feel crummy afterwards - he's not ready to give them up quite yet. But he is moving in that direction. He has banished bread from the house just so he won't eat it at night. But that was his choice. IMO your husband isn't ready yet. And you can't make him ready. He will be ready, when he will be ready. In the meantime keep calm and whole 30 on....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Hi Carrie Just a quick comment re Tom's comment above. Tom is just giving you some tough love. I have been on the receiving end of it a couple of times and yes it comes accross as harsh sometimes but understand he is only trying to set you on the staright an narrow. It took me a while to realize that. (and a few times of feeling a little insulted myself) What I am getting from his post is that it is all up to choices and it is up to you to make the right decisions for you. No one is forcing you to do this. It is you who is driving the bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Thanks. When I see Tom's posts I might decide to ignore them depending on the mood I am in. j/k I also want to clearify that my husband is very supportive of my challenge and he does support the paleo approach to eating and follows it himself. I just don't think he is ready to give up dairy quite yet. He is the one that came across "It starts with food" at the ancestral health symposium this past August and introduced me to it. I can understand when he says, it will be easier when the holidays are over. Yes, it will be easier when the "holidays" are over, but there are holidays, birthdays, and family parties all year round. If I'm going to do it, then I'll do it. While I managed to keep my "focus" Friday at the school party, I made different choices Saturday night and Sunday that didn't fall within my challenge. As I mentioned previously, I own my choices. I will be forced to make those choices again this weekend at a large party where food will be served. I wll not be lacking for meat choices, I just might bring my own sides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I don't feel deprived because I am so aware of how those foods make me feel, and where the foods came from, what they are doing to the earth (sorry to get a bit hippie on you), and how (often) the animals in the foods are treated. But back to how they make me feel--it's just not worth it anymore. A moment on the lips or ... months of feeling like crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennrider Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I do the cooking in my house. My kids were very sweet about asking me if I could have such and such before offering it to me. All their dinners were W30 and they were fine with that. My husband took them out to lunch on the weekends so they ate the stuff that I stopped cooking at those times. Sometimes it was hard, not because of the food, but because I was just didn't feel like being in the kitchen. I have done a lot of streamlining in the month since I've finished so eating this way is becoming easier. As per Tom's reply, I took it to mean that it depends on what you focus on. Not a lack of focus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Carrie, I do know his point as well. I kept on putting off my start date as I just wanted one more of *this* (insert non-compliant food choice here) then one day after breakfast I said that's it I am starting now. I was ready to give it all up for 30 days. Like you said you own your food choices. That's the best place to be. But he's not there yet. Now my BF is extremely supportive (he just thinks I eat way too many eggs) as he sees what this diet has done to me. (All positives) he is just not ready to follow it 100% himself. And I have to respect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica P Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I understand your issue. The "old food" didn't even make me feel like crap. From a feeling standpoint, I don't think I'm any different on day 30 than I was on Day 1. I am happier because I'm losing weight (desperately needed to) and I look great and I enjoy the food I eat. Honestly, I couldn't do a W30 starting now because of the holidays. I eat almost W30 now....with the occasional treat. It is HARD to be at a party or other event and see the foods you like/liked. Potato chips and nachos are my weakness. I have to force myself to remember that they aren't worth the treat I'd be sacrificing. But bottom line it is your choice and in the end you will be happy, or at least, happier about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Thank you for the comments. Monica, my husband and I have never had side effects to grains or dairy either. Unless you count those times we have a large plate or bowl of heavy carbs and fat, but usually the issue is large serving size. In Sept. I had a severe allergic reaction to something (doctors could never figure out what caused it), which is why I decided I want to take complete control of my diet. I am very interested in seeing what occurs over the next 30 days. I am taking a whole life approach by attempting to decrease stress while increasing sleep. If I lost those last few pounds that I am hanging on to, then that will be icing on the cake. Speaking of cake, whether I incorporate some foods back into my diet when I am done will be interesting to see. I am looking at this as a life experiment and hope I learn a lot along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Carrie, I admire your honesty and willingness to share your story. I'm not so certain I agree with the "tough love" method. Tough love can seem a tad rude. Especially when one is just starting. You owned your choices. Many don't. I have great faith that you can do this. I'll certainly be pulling for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Thank you Grace. Tough love is a tricky thing. I have definitely used it with clients during my years of as an out patient dietitian. It can be tricky when it is written vs face to face. Either way, it's okay with me. I was just taken aback at first. I was trying to be honest and hoping to find support from the forum and not be judged. The "even a dietitian is not perfect" is a kind of a joke. Friends, family and clients always think I am judging what they are eating when actually I don't care. Well, saying "I don't care" might be extreme but I am not going to judge them for their choices that they make. I have also found through out the years that people who know I am a dietitian also judge what I have in my cart and on my plate. I am believer in practicing what you preach, but no one is perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Not sure why Tom was perceived as rude or even tough love. Trust me, I have been part of a tough love forum group and he's not even close to what they were. He's a very straight forward guy who is full of information. I think he was simply telling you what it is as he saw it. I can promise you he didn't think in his head "hey..I think I will go be rude". He is truly one of the best Moderators, but isn't into a lot of fluff. I know I always choose to believe that when he clarifies things to me, I appreciate it. I could take offense, but I know he has our best interest at heart. I think he was trying to point out to you that you can adjust your way of thinking and not see that avoiding junk food is being "left out". Eating awesome fresh and whole foods makes you doing good things for you. As far as being "left out", I think maybe that is about you and not them or what you are or are not eating. I have found that at events, when I thought people were so focused on what I was or wasn't eating..guess what..they could care less and it was all in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Maybe things have gotten out of hand. Whether Tom was tough love or not is independent and I TRUELY don't care if it was intended to be or not. It's okay people, it is just how I perceived it at first. I am sure he is a great moderator and will continue to be. Can we move on from the fact that I mentioned I had a slight feeling of being "left out" since we were not eating all the same foods as a family. I didn't want the junk food, I didn't eat the junk food, (i did however the next night eat a piece of noncompliant food) I was just mentioning what my thoughts and struggles were this past weekend. I am glad that most of you do not appear to have these internal struggles or have moved past them. I however will continue to share my conflicts and struggles as I make these behavior changes and people can have whatever opinion they want of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Maybe things have gotten out of hand. Whether Tom was tough love or not is independent and I TRUELY don't care if it was intended to be or not. It's okay people, it is just how I perceived it at first. I am sure he is a great moderator and will continue to be. Can we move on from the fact that I mentioned I had a slight feeling of being "left out" since we were not eating all the same foods as a family. I didn't want the junk food, I didn't eat the junk food, (i did however the next night eat a piece of noncompliant food) I was just mentioning what my thoughts and struggles were this past weekend. I am glad that most of you do not appear to have these internal struggles or have moved past them. I however will continue to share my conflicts and struggles as I make these behavior changes and people can have whatever opinion they want of me. Yes, please do continue to share your struggles. It truly is what this forums are about and you should consider the fact that you eat the junk food and didn't even want the junk food a win. We all have the same struggles. We maybe just express them in different ways. You are owning your struggles, but also expect to hear the other side of that from those who have sturggled like you and pushed through to the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 I do expect to hear from others and how they have dealt with it, that is what is great about the forum. All is good in the world people. Happy Eating!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 I thought I should get my goals for this journey recorded. It may not be reasonable to expect to reach these in 30 days, but like I said before, these are lifestyle changes not 30 day changes I am making. 1.) Continued improvement in my allergic rach that is still healing. Decrease itching. 2.) Decrease inflammation in my eyes 3.) Leaner appearance 4.) No specific weight or body composition goal, but it would be nice if the numbers decreased slightly. 5.) No more chronic fatigue 6.) Less Stress 7.) Sleep easily, soundly and longer (5,6, and 7 are definitely related) 8.)No more sugar/carb cravings 9.) Improved self-confidence 10.) Better concentration 11.) Better memory/recall 12.) More productive 13.) Wake feeling refreshed 14.) No mid afternoon drop in energy or need for midafternoon coffee 15.) More energy to play with my girls 16.) No longer need to eat every 2 hours. 17.) No more bloating My overall goal over the next 30 days is to focus on what I can conrol then hopefully I will see some changes in the above side effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennrider Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I think these are very realistic and attainable goals. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Thanks. When I see Tom's posts I might decide to ignore them depending on the mood I am in. j/k I also want to clearify that my husband is very supportive of my challenge and he does support the paleo approach to eating and follows it himself. I just don't think he is ready to give up dairy quite yet. He is the one that came across "It starts with food" at the ancestral health symposium this past August and introduced me to it. I can understand when he says, it will be easier when the holidays are over. Yes, it will be easier when the "holidays" are over, but there are holidays, birthdays, and family parties all year round. If I'm going to do it, then I'll do it. While I managed to keep my "focus" Friday at the school party, I made different choices Saturday night and Sunday that didn't fall within my challenge. As I mentioned previously, I own my choices. I will be forced to make those choices again this weekend at a large party where food will be served. I wll not be lacking for meat choices, I just might bring my own sides. I just wanted to clearify that where I am from, j/k is shorthand for "just kiddding". I was not calling Tom anysort of name or thinking of him in any negative format. I wanted to clearify that incase anyone was interpretting j/k as anything else. I will be more careful in the future when using abreviations of words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirsteen Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Don't worry, I'm sure nobody took it the wrong way. I admire your really clear list of goals and i love the fact that you see them as life changes not 30 day changes. I think everyone struggles with some aspect or other of the W30, it's what makes it a challenge. I love the positive attitude you have of owning your struggles, learning from them and picking yourself up and moving on. good luck to you and your family in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 I am gearing up mentally for a "Barn Party" at my brother's house Saturday night. Whenever a barn is built a party is required to take place, then a party is held every year after that to see if you can out do the previous year. Anyways, my brother built a house this past year and just finished his barn, thus, PARTY!! All the food will be provided, but BYOB. Now what are your guesses as to what will served at a Kansas Barn Party/BBQ? I will not be lacking in meat. My brother builds and sells smokers, so plenty of smoked meat (beef, pork, chicken). The sides are the tricky part. I have texted my sister-in-law to see what they will be providing. If necessary, I will be bringing my own food with me, which I know will cause questions and looks. Whatever! It could be a great conversation starter. I would really love to bring some wine but instead I will bringing some CO2 infused water (I think that sound prettier than carbonated water) with sliced lemons, limes and oranges to squeeze into it. Cheers to me being the only sober one over the age of 21 at the party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie A 'Thompson' Snyder Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 Sides for the party this weekend... Burgundy mushrooms Cheesy Corn Bake Smashed Potatoes Baked Beans ....looks like I will be packing my own goodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 You're going in prepared, good for you! Have a wonderful time!~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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