Cahliah's Mother/Daughter Whole30

[cahliah]

1 hour ago, Gramma Susie said:

The garlic Rosemary potatoes sound great.  What goes into that recipe?

I didn't really have a recipe, just threw it together. Red skin potatoes, cut into bite-sized pieces, tossed with a little olive oil, garlic powder, salt, and dried rosemary. I think I baked them at 425 for 40 minutes or so - until they had some color and looked a little crisp.

[cahliah]

Today just plain sucked. I really am mentally and emotionally drained, and I think I'm probably depressed, too. There was a point this evening where I was ready to throw in the towel - I was just tired of it all. The cooking and planning, the complaints, feeling like I have to keep an eye on my mom even though she's the one who wanted to do this to begin with - and, of course, there's the drama that comes with having a 13-year-old, too. (And let's not get into the drama fest that is her dad/my ex. Men!)

I talked it over with my sister and my mom, though. My sister was supportive, told me that I could do it. And my mom agreed to help me more with the cooking and planning, and to try not to complain so much. Plus, I found a thread in the forum from a couple years ago where someone was having the same issues with depression and anxiety at about the same time in their reset, and it did clear up after a couple of days, so I can hang in there for a while longer. More than halfway through (and almost 2/3!)

Dinner tonight was burgers, instead of meatloaf. My mom chopped up some green peppers and onions and put that in the meat, and I put almond butter on top of mine, which made it more edible (really was not in the mood for burgers), and I wound up cutting up a pear and adding that, too, since we didn't have bananas.

3rd meal was leftover mushrooms with some sauce stolen from yesterday's meatballs, and an Aidells chicken & apple sausage, which are on sale at Meijer this weekend (technically, I think Friday & Saturday), and an orange. Feeling a bit queasy after eating the mushrooms, and thinking I might just toss the rest out. Something about the vinegar isn't agreeing with my stomach - or my tastebuds.

Went a bit overboard with the spending last night, even if it was little, cheap things. I think I'm trying to make up for the fact that I'm not eating when I'm stressed or depressed or otherwise not so ok. Sorta grasping for anything that will make me feel better. But it didn't work, and I need to really think about what's going on, and what I can do to fix it. Before my wallet starts screaming bloody murder.

11 more days... I can do this.

[JenHZ]

sending supportive thoughts

[cahliah]

Everything was screwed up today. (Well, yesterday.)

Got maybe 1-2 hours of sleep, even though I tried for a lot more than that. Had a handful of walnuts at one point because my stomach wouldn't stop rumbling and complaining about not having food. Then, I had to get up and do my daughter's wig for the anime convention she went to today. Had another handful of walnuts after she left, because I didn't feel like a meal, but knew I had to eat something because it was almost noon. Then, I took a short nap, woke up, got dinner in the oven, and had a small meal of the last of the garlic rosemary potatoes, a couple meatballs, and a pear.

Dinner was ribs with Tessamae's bbq sauce, and celery w/ almond butter because I didn't feel like cooking any more. The sauce was alright - not something I'd seek out if we weren't doing Whole30.

A few hours after dinner, though, my "stomach issues" returned with a vengeance - just in time for my daughter to come home. So, I was sitting there, dealing with my ex and my daughter's friend (not to mention undoing all the work on that wig!), and all I really wanted to do was lock myself in the bathroom for an hour or ten until things ran their course,

I was enjoying not having these issues, and now I'm wondering what set them off. My thought is that it was the ribs - maybe the sauce, or the amount of fat, or just the giant meat bomb - no way to really know. But I won't be eating the leftovers (and there were a ton of leftovers - whole slab of ribs, and I only ate 2, and my mom only ate 2-3.)

Either way, there won't be a 3rd meal in this log. Won't be eating anything until I get some (more) sleep and give my stomach a chance to calm down.

 

Condensed log:
Snack: Walnuts
Meal 1: Greek meatballs, potatoes, pear
Meal 2: Ribs, celery, almond butter

[kirkor]

If you were already on the edge from the mushrooms yesterday, the walnuts could have done you in.  They can be pretty decent gut disruptors, especially if you've been having a lot of almond butter as well.

[JenHZ]

hope that  whatever it was gets through you and you can eat a little today.

[Guest]

I hope you feel better soon.  Fatty foods used to always be a trigger for me and I definitely can't eat ribs.  I got super sick last night too, pretty sure it was food poisoning from improperly prepared beef.  I'm scared to eat anything now.

[cahliah]

I'm pretty sure it was the ribs that did it. Usually, if I eat them, I have something starchy with them to soak up the fat or something. And I use a different sauce - not sure if that contributed or not. I know my body well enough that, once I get over the initial pain and discomfort, I usually have a general idea of what set it off.

Stomach has been queasy all day. Had a couple oranges for breakfast because they were the only thing that didn't turn my stomach. Lunch was the last of the leftover shepherd's pie, which I ate entirely because of the potatoes. Had a snack of celery & almond butter while my niece, nephew, and brother were here, because everyone else was eating pizza rolls. Including my mom. Which I'll get into tomorrow, maybe - too emotionally exhausted to go over that tonight.

Dinner was a chicken & apple sausage, with a few bites of potato. Which had its own issues but, again, I'm just not in the right place to get into it tonight. Wasn't even going to update, but if I let myself skip a night, I won't get back to it.

 

Condensed log:
Meal 1: Oranges
Meal 2: Shepherd's pie
Snack: Celery & almond butter
Meal 3: Chicken & apple sausage, potato

[cahliah]

Feeling better so far today... But I've only been up about an hour, so we'll see how long that lasts

Wound up having another meal before bed - chicken & apple sausage, celery with cashew butter, and an orange.

Yesterday, I was honestly ready to give up. My mom outright cheated - had a couple pizza rolls when everyone was here. And then she wasn't sure if she was going to keep going. I was feeling betrayed and abandoned, and like I had put so much work into this, for nothing. And it did feel like I did it all for nothing, if she doesn't keep going - none of the things I was hoping would get better have done so. My acne is still horrible, my hands still hurt, my stomach issues, apparently, aren't as gone as I thought they were (and none of the ways I normally deal with it were permissible, so I had lingering effects for longer than usual.) But my mom has been doing really well -  her blood pressure seems to have gone down, her constipation is eliminated (no pun intended), she seems like she has more energy... That, to me, is worth the time and effort, even if I'm not seeing results. But if she quits, I really don't have anything to keep me going - aside from the fact that my youngest sister, apparently, didn't think we'd make it this far.

I was in a bad place last night, and while I was making dinner, my daughter stopped the timer on my potato so she could do a timer for her mac & cheese, and I lost it. I swore, I yelled, and I cried. I apologized, and she and I talked about it, but it was my breaking point. But, through it all, I wasn't even tempted to eat something off-plan. Which is a positive. And it helped me talk to her about getting frustrated, which happens to her a lot. I told her that it wasn't her I was mad at, and that the potato was just a potato and it really didn't matter, and it wasn't worth getting upset over. And we decided that, all these little, insignificant things that stress us out... They're just potatoes. In the moment it seems like they're so important, but when you step back, you realize they aren't, and they're just stupid potatoes, and they don't matter. So, we're going to use that in the future. It's all just potatoes.

Anyways, I'm feeling better today. Got a full night of sleep, and I've got a chicken & apple sausage, celery & almond butter, and an orange in me now. Loving these oranges.

And, so far, it looks like my mom is getting back on the wagon, at least for now. She had a Lara Bar at work last night, and I decided I'm not going to push her to follow the rules or extend her 30 days. I'm not going to mention the sulfites in the jar of pickles she brought home. I'm not expecting her to do Whole30 anymore, just Whole30-ish. I'll still be finishing, though, if for no other reason than to spite my youngest sister. Who could never do something like this - don't think she could go even 2 days without alcohol!

...and, as a reward for getting through last night and not giving up, I bought myself a new swimsuit. We're going to Myrtle Beach at the end of March, and my suit is nearly as old as my now-teenage daughter! Ack!

[Guest]

I am glad you are feeling better today.  Yesterday sounds like it was really tough!  Kids and mothers, they can really push our buttons huh.  

[cahliah]

Today definitely went better than the past couple of weeks. My daughter had no homework (standardized testing week!), my mom had very few complaints about dinner, and nobody yelled or got cranky. I'm even feeling better about my decision to keep going with Whole30 for the last third.

Dinner was nice - chicken wings (just baked with salt & pepper - nothing else), potato strings (were supposed to be curly fries, but my spiralizer cuts them too small - ack!), and the best green beans I've ever had. I'm really not a fan of green beans, and I've never had fresh ones cooked in a way that I actually enjoyed... But these are good! I'm planning on hogging the leftovers. Hah!

Got some chicken & andouille gumbo going in our little slow cooker for tomorrow - Mardi Gras!!! Tomorrow night, I'm going to make shrimp & sausage jambalaya. All with cauliflower rice, which scares me a bit, but worst case, I leave out the rice, right? And, wow, this andouille I got at Whole Foods is good! I stole a bite as I was prepping the gumbo, and... wow.

Started planning out our reintroduction. I think we're going to start with dairy, because that's what my mom misses most. I'm thinking I'm going to skip the plain milk, though, and focus on cheese and yogurt - plain milk has given me problems for years, so I already know it's a no-go. Plus, we can treat ourselves to a little ice cream after dinner on day 31. Not reintroducing sugar separately - I think my mom would go crazy if we did the reintroduction any slower than I have planned. As it is, I had to do a lot of talking to get her to go along with it instead of jumping right into eating a whole sleeve of Girl Scout cookies on day 31. (Seriously - that was her plan!)

Apparently, she loved the LaraBar she had last night, so much that she wanted to get me one to try it - said it tasted like chocolate. I declined, my main reason being that I know that they spike my blood sugar way too much. And, of course, that they're supposed to be emergency food. Didn't tell her she couldn't have them, though. She's not on Whole30 anymore, just Whole30-ish. Or would it be Whole-ish30?

Anyways, work time. With more energy than I expected. Did I jump from omg crankypants to tiger blood?

[JenHZ]

I hope you found tiger blood. green bean recipe looks like a great way to use up all the bacon fat I have.  I bookmarked it.  seems like you have learned a lot even if you don't' want to eat this way forever.

[cahliah]

I wound up using half duck fat and half coconut oil in the green beans, and leaving out the red pepper because I didn't have one, but it would probably be even more amazing with the two!

And you're right... If I get nothing else out of this, I've managed to tame my sugar dragon a bit. I'll have a piece of fruit maybe once a day, sure, but it's not because I need something sweet. It's usually more, I'm wanting something fresh and not cooked, but there aren't many veggies I can eat raw (also the case with the celery & almond or cashew butter.)

I do plan on adding back dairy, legumes, and grains - sugar in reasonable amounts, but I'll be at least trying to stick to the meal template, and I'll be more selective about quality and additives. I'll also keep cooking from scratch as often as possible, though I plan to move on to freezer meals - either for the whole family, or individual meals that I can just pop in the microwave. This cooking every night thing isn't sustainable long-term for me, but 3-4 nights a week could be. Especially if one of those nights, I cook something I enjoy and don't worry about whether the picky ones will eat it. 

[cahliah]

3rd meal tonight: Chicken & sausage gumbo! This stuff is good... But it needs to cook more before I eat another bowl - the veggies are still crunchy, and I prefer my soup veggies to be... Well... Mush. And it took more work than I'd normally consider putting into a slow cooker meal - it's not one of those 'set and forget' things. But it was so worth it! I haven't had gumbo since I last visited New Orleans with my best friend in November of 2013, and we went to the Gumbo Festival. This might not be festival-worthy gumbo, but it's still nice. Next time, though, I think I'll go the traditional route and start with a roux, and cook it on the stove - wouldn't have been any more work, and would have taken less time in the end. And the veggies would have been soft.

I will say, though, the cauliflower rice is great - can't taste it at all! 

And I definitely want to grab more of this andouille if I'm ever at Whole Foods again. Yum!

 

Today's meal log:
Meal 1: Chicken & apple sausage, celery w/almond butter, orange
Meal 2: Chicken wings, potato strings, green beans
Meal 3: Homemade chicken & sausage gumbo w/ carrots, celery, onion, garlic, green peppers, tomatoes, & okra

[Guest]

You know what's really good? Fry the cauliflower rice in a pan with ghee out clarified butter. Delicious! 

Glad things are coming together for you.

[cahliah]

Woke up late, and spent a lot of today cooking, but it was worth it. Tossed last night's gumbo into a pot on the stove and cooked it again, which resulted in not-hard vegetables after about 1 1/2 hours. It also resulted in my mom yelling at me to turn on the stove vent and open a window because she didn't like the smell. But it was good, even if I had to eat a banana while it was cooking because I was hungry!

2nd meal was sausage & shrimp jambalaya. Wasn't so pleased with having to peel a pound of shrimp, but at least I didn't have to de-vein it, too. Of course, nobody liked this, either. But that's ok - it was an entirely selfish meal, and I knew they wouldn't like it (at least my daughter tried it!)

Roasted a potato for my mom, too. She was going to have the leftover wings with the potato, and some of her non-compliant pickles, but she ate one wing, didn't like it, and decided to make herself a burger. Forgetting she still had burger patties pre-cooked in the fridge - oops!

I also fried up a banana to have with my 2nd meal, because it's Mardi Gras, and if I can't have King Cake or Bananas Foster, I can at least have a fried banana. Which totally wasn't SWYPO because it was good, and I really didn't miss the other sweets.

3rd meal was early - leftover wings, potato strings, green beans, and jambalaya, with celery & cashew butter because I realized I didn't get enough fat with my other 2 meals today, hence the early 3rd meal. And I have to say, my plate was very colorful this time around, and it felt a little bit like a party because of all the different things going on. Kinda nice!

Might wind up eating again before bed, but figured I'd log this anyways.

 

Day 23(!) Meal Log
Meal 1: Banana, gumbo
Meal 2: Jambalaya, fried banana
Meal 3: Chicken wings, potato strings, green beans, jambalaya, celery w/ cashew butter

[cahliah]

Didn't have my 1st meal when I usually do. Woke up later than usual (which isn't a bad thing) and wound up just having some celery & cashew butter to tide me over until dinner time.

Roasted 2 chickens for future meals, and made Japanese Sea Salt chicken and Okonomiyaki (aka "Japanese Pizza" or "vegetable pancakes" - and not really anything like either one.) Also roasted some potatoes for my mom, who had the roast chicken and potatoes for dinner, while my daughter and I ate the happy Japanese food. Well, I did. She ate chicken, and a couple bites of okonomiyaki. She didn't hate it, but it just wasn't a taste she was used to, so she didn't want to keep eating. To me, that's progress.

Also got the meat picked from the chicken carcasses and got them in the slow cooker with a bunch of veggie scraps (mostly carrots, celery, & onions) I've been saving up, and water. I still have more bones and veggie scraps in the freezer, so I figure I'll let this go overnight, drain it into a big pot, leave the veggies & bones in the slow cooker and add the rest of my veggie scraps and bones, and cook another big pot of broth - maybe two, depending on how well the bones hold up through the 2nd batch. I'm hoping it gels this time - the last time, it didn't, but it happens. Still worked. Might let this cook longer.

Still feeling not so much boundless energy, but more than usual. So long as I have a few hours to wake up. Never been a morning person.

Oh, and my mom  had a doctor's appointment this morning. She's lost 16 lbs, her blood pressure is good, and the doctor was surprised. She's having blood work done - won't have the results on that for a bit, but I'm guessing that will have improved, too.

[cahliah]

2nd/3rd meal today was a mix of stuff - a bowl of gumbo, some potato strings, a bit of the leftover sea salt chicken, and some celery with cashew butter. Yum!!!

My chicken stock smells amazing! Much better than the last time I made it. The last time, I was questioning whether it was going to even be edible. This time, I want to bathe in it! Can't wait to taste it.

Still feeling good. Can't believe there are only five days left!!!!

 

Today's food log:
Snack: Celery & cashew butter
Meal 1: Japanese sea salt chicken, okonomiyaki
Snack: Roast chicken (had to steal some while we were picking it off the bones!)
Meal 2: Gumbo, potato strings, sea salt chicken, celery w/ cashew butter

[cahliah]

....er, my math was bad. There are six days left. Oops.

[Guest]

Congrats to your mom for her accomplishments. Maybe it will help her to stick with better eating habits to see those changes. 

Your stock sounds awesome, I need to try that. My husband tried to make bone broth with beef and it was inedible. 

[cahliah]

Not feeling very social today, but logging because, if I don't, I won't keep doing it.

Couldn't fall asleep last night, and it totally screwed with my schedule. But still had plenty of energy to cook - just been really distracted.

 

Condensed meal log:
Snack 1 (before actual sleep): Banana
Snack (after sleep, before dinner): Celery & almond butter
Meal 1: Shepherd's pie
Meal 2: Shepherd's pie, bowl of strawberries, banana, and orange slices

[cahliah]

So, my mom made the mashed potatoes for the shepherd's pie last night. When I make mashed potatoes for shepherd's pie, I roast them in the oven with some of the skin still intact, then season them with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and paprika, and use enough coconut milk to make them spreadable (or, at least, I try to) - but I leave chunks, and apparently I'm the only one who likes chunks. My mom, on the other hand, boils her fully-peeled potatoes, didn't season them, barely used any of the "gross" coconut milk, and blended them until there was no texture left. Needless to say, despite my perfectly seasoned meat & veggies, the shepherd's pie last night was pretty bland. I rarely add salt & pepper after things are cooked (unless my mom is cooking them), but this really needed it. Next time, I'll just make the potatoes myself.

Tonight's dinner was going to be butter chicken, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm the only one that's going to eat it, and we have a fridge full of leftovers that need to be eaten up, so I'm switching the menu to... Leftovers night.

Managed to get to sleep more easily last night - being exhausted probably helped. 

1st meal today was leftover shepherd's pie, and a pear that was on the verge of going bad - oops!

[cahliah]

So, the first batch of my chicken stock gelled beautifully, and I got a 2nd batch going in the same pot with the same bones & veggies from the first pot, as well as some added wing bones and another 1/2 bag of veggie scraps. No verdict on that yet, but it did smell good. 3rd is going now... My mom doesn't get it, but she's not the one doing all the cooking. This is saving us a lot of money, though, and it's not a ton of work, either.

Had a snack of celery & almond butter between my 1st and 2nd meals, then leftover sea salt chicken and green beans for my 2nd meal. Was going to have leftover potato strings and okonomiyaki, too, but I couldn't stomach even the thought of eating more vegetables, so I passed on them. Was hungry about 4 hours later and had a 3rd meal of shepherd's pie and then, about 4 hours after that, a 4th meal of leftover jambalaya and roast chicken, as well as a handful of walnuts because I knew there wasn't much fat in the rest of the meal. Got the rest of my leftovers - gumbo, jambalaya, meatballs, and the dark meat from the roast chickens - in the freezer so I don't have to eat them so quickly.

I'm realizing, if I eat fruit - even with a meal - I don't get as long between meals before I feel hungry. Thinking I'm going to have to save fruit until the last meal of the day, so it's not an issue.

4 days left (I double checked this time!) - can't believe it's almost over.

 

Today's meal log:
Meal 1: Shepherd's pie, pear
Snack: Celery & almond butter
Meal 2: Sea salt chicken, green beans
Meal 3: Shepherd's pie
Meal 4: Sausage & shrimp jambalaya, chicken, walnuts

[cahliah]

Been a long day, so just a quick run-down. Finished my chicken stock. Next time, I just do it in the big stock pot instead of the slow cooker. Easier that way, I think.

Feeling ok. Bit tired, but more of an emotional exhaustion.

Tried some pre-cooked pulled pork from Costco today. No sauce on it, though I put some bbq sauce on my plate... Didn't need it - that stuff was GOOD! Definitely on my to-buy list. Tasted like ham!

Made a sorta disgusting chicken salad for my 3rd meal, but ate it anyways. It was food... But the taste lingered, and I kept wishing I could have dessert or something just to get the taste out of my mouth.

 

Meal log:
Meal 1: Shepherd's pie
Meal 2: Pulled pork, roasted potatoes
Meal 3: Chicken salad w/ chicken, grapes, walnuts, oranges, & mayo (blech!)

[Guest]

The W30 has made me decide I really, really need a Costco membership!