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unreasonable comment re weight loss


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My other half said to me yesterday "if you lose any more weight you'll look unwell." For a fact I am not underweight; I am 5ft11 and circa 11st 7. I have recently lost some weight as a by-product of my whole30. I have slimmed down but am gaining muscle from training and feeling better.

How do you deal with comments when you know they're not particularly rational?

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That's really difficult, especially considering it is your other half who should know what it is you're doing to be healthy.

It if was a stranger, or a family member, or a coworker, I'd smile and say, "My body is not your concern, thanks." (I have low tolerance for people commenting on my body at all.)

If my husband said that, I'd take a few days to calm down. Then I'd sit him down for a conversation that would go something like: You know in the past few months/years I've been working on being physically healthier. I've started thinking about what I eat and trying to eat whole foods that nourish my body. I've also started a training regimen. These things together have contributed to my losing fat and gaining muscle. I also feel amazing. I was hurt by your comment a few days ago about if I lost any more weight I'd look unwell. The way I look actually has very little to do with how I feel, or my actual health. If you don't like the way I look, I'm afraid that's on you. I won't stop doing the things that make me feel good to please your aesthetic sense of what a woman's body should be. You can either support me in my ongoing health efforts, or you can keep your unkind comments to yourself. If you can't do that, then you can leave.

Like I said, low tolerance for that nonsense. 

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