Depression issues

[Questforhappiness]

Hey guys,

I already have issues with depression, though I am pretty good at keeping them in check. I read someone else saying here that maybe having to deal with depression while on the Whole30 is result of not being able to eat/drink/drug my feelings, and that could be very real.

I am also coming off yesterday, which was a very bad day. I just moved into a new neighborhood with lots of breweries and good restaurants. Yesterday my fiancé and friends came over and we all went out all day. I spent all day watching my friends drink delicious cold beer on a hot day and eat good food, and I ate my compliant food at home and drank water. My fiancé was supportive but my friends, though trying to be nice, were mostly commenting on how unnecessarily restrictive the Whole30 is and even how some people they know got really sick doing the Whole30.

Not to mention, I have had a headache for the past 3 days which is not getting better. I never really have headaches so I can't help but blame this on the Whole30 and my angry sugar dragon.

Just looking for some support, shared experiences, coping mechanisms. I have spent all day sleeping and laying on the couch, while I am usually pretty active, because I don't want to do anything because I feel so restricted and depressed that I have gotten myself caught up in something that might make me more obsessed with food than if I had just tried to eat "healthier."

Thanks!

[Chana_C]

Watching your friends merrily eat and drink sounds like a setup that would make anyone miserable. Is there any way that next time, you could suggest a non-food activity instead -- a bike ride or board games or whatever thing you enjoy? Also -- I'm no stranger to depression myself and just wonder if this is a chicken-and-egg problem -- is it possible that your depression is flaring up and making you hate the Whole 30? When I am depressed I tend to zero in on an area of my life and decide that it is absolutely intolerable and the source of my misery -- but the real truth is the depression came first, and when the depression has been addressed, the problem isn't so intolerable after all. If you have a doctor or therapist, maybe make a call and let them know what's going on? In any case, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad and hope that the darkness lifts soon.

[Questforhappiness]

Hey Chana,

Thank you. I can see if I can be more pro-active about the activities next time, this time I was kind of blind sighted. But the reality is most of my social outings are around food and drinking.

I don't currently have a doctor that I'm seeing, but maybe I do want to find one. I thought about that too. But maybe it has been so long since I've had to confront my brain solo-with no food/drugs/alcohol to make it quiet down, that I wouldn't even know where to start with a doctor.

Will keep these things in mind over the next week...

Jaime

[SugarcubeOD]

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling well... It's too bad that your friends are not being supportive.  Not drinking for 30 days isn't really that 'restrictive'... I"m not really the kind of person that drinks a ton but I have enough social moments where I turn down booze because I don't want to feel badly later... Somehow that has become the outlier rather than the norm... 

We do recommend that those with mood issues ensure that they're getting at least a fist sized serving of starchy carbs per day but for you, you may want to eat some starch at every meal for a couple of days and see if that helps?  Also making sure you're salting your food and drinking enough water.

If what you have is clinical depression, rather than 'the blues' or feeling down, which are both valid as well, then you need to see a doctor because you might benefit from some meds... 

What day are you on?  Check the timeline linked in my signature below and you might find yourself right where others are... being tired when your body first realizes it's not getting easy fuel out of sugar is not uncommon and headaches and crankiness are also all in there.

Stick it out, I think you'll start to feel better.  If you would like us to take a look at your meal composition and see if there's anything you can tweak, feel free to list out a few days of your intake including portion sizes per the template, specific veggies, protein, fat and fruits as well as water consumption, sleep, stress and anything else you think could be helpful.

[jmcbn]

Hey @Questforhappiness - so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. You've already got some great advice above so I'd just add that the comments your friends made are more a reflection of how THEY feel about Whole30 & alcohol, and are more of an indication of their need  for alcohol to have fun, and that maybe they'd struggle to go without alcohol for 30 days so more power to YOU for making that commitment.

I'm from Ireland where alcohol is very much woven into our culture (I mean practically every joke starts with the line 'Paddy Irish man walks into a Bar...', right? ) and I know that it can be tough to watch your friends have a drink when you are abstaining. However, it IS do-able, and since you are prone to depression you may actually find that the alcohol has been fuelling that (or at least perpetuating it), and that once you get through the 30days that it won't feel like such a crutch for you anymore, and you MAY find that you'll not necessarily want to have a drink every time you hook up with friends, but that you have the power to pick & choose which events you deem special enough.

Believe me, I've been out socially enough times to know that people may make comments about me abstaining initially, but once I've shrugged it off and they've had a drink or two they forget all about it and I have just as good a night as they do without waking up to a hangover the next morning.

[MeadowLily]

I don't drink. My folks and siblings don't drink. We know the side effects of alcohol.  The only thing that makes me sad is watching others drink and then driving.  Everyone is looking for a way to relax but I want my eyes wide open, especially when I'm out there on the road.  I want lightning fast reflexes in case I have to dodge the drinkers as I live in a target rich environment.

[HannahNic94]

Ooh do I feel you. I also struggle with some serious depression, and while I was hoping to find some healing through eating, being in the early stages of my Whole30 has actually made things a lot worse! I've got friends and family (even a husband!) who disagree with Whole30's "restrictive" nature, and I've definitely been discouraged by the realization that 98% of my social life revolves around eating (usually) unhealthy food. However, I've tried to be really intentional about spending time with my favorite people in healthier ways. I've invited friends to go on walks with me, played board games at a local coffee shop instead of trivia night at the bar, and had cook outs full of healthy food and infused water. It's an amazing way to take control of the situation, and I feel that a lot of my relationships are actually stronger! You can get through this, we both can!

[Questforhappiness]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and support -it means a lot. SugarCubeOD (great name by the way) -I am on day 8. And yes, yesterday I did review the timeline and it seems like what I'm feeling might be normal. I am putting my eggs in the basket that my body is being kind of like a spoiled brat right now -stomping feet/shaking fists-that it cant have sugar or some of my favorite things. I am just waiting for the good feelings to start kicking in....I will get back to you SugarCubeOD with my mealplans if things don't pick up....THANK YOU!

[Lea Mint]

I just want to point out from your first post

 

 

your 'compliant' food is good food 

their 'good' food is junk that might taste great but is not GOOD for you. 

Keep that in mind.  It's 30 days  

[wag_2013]

On 4/23/2017 at 4:34 PM, Questforhappiness said:

I read someone else saying here that maybe having to deal with depression while on the Whole30 is result of not being able to eat/drink/drug my feelings, and that could be very real.

Yes, the Whole30 allows/makes us confront our feelings when we would usually eat/drink/whatever them away. It can be really scary. It can be enlightening. It can be a lot of things to really "feel" your feelings. Journaling has really helped me during my Whole30s. It would probably benefit you to start one, especially because you said you've suffered from depression in the past. Wishing you the best on your Whole30 and Food Freedom journey!

[Namaste2017]

Hi Questforhappiness,

I'm so glad you were open and honest with your struggles, because I have found myself in the same boat.  I have a history of depression and have done tons of work on this, but the whole30 is making it flare up.

For me, I think it has to do with a few things - taking out all the crutches that helped us deal with the bad feelings (alcohol, sugary treats, etc.) makes the pain come to light.  Also for me, I am a people-pleaser, so I become overly concerned with what others feel I should eat / drink and what they think about this diet.

So I'm taking this as an opportunity to look at my depression more closely, to come to understand some of the roots and some healthy ways of dealing with it (without food as a crutch).  For me, there is an underlying sense of unworthiness, that I am just not good enough.  This was something I took on as a young child because I felt unloved / unseen, but it is not true.  We can rewrite our scripts, we can see ourselves as beautiful, vibrant human beings that do not need to be perfect or "successful" in order to be valuable and loved.

I wish for you a most wonderful rest of your Whole30, may you feel whole and loved and healthy and at peace.

Lots of love,

Paula

[Questforhappiness]

Hey Namaste,

Thanks so much for that. Yes, I think my depression is rooted in self-hatred too which comes from feeling rejected at home and in school when I was young. Ugh. You'd think we could let bygones be bygones, right?

No matter how much work I do or have done, just like the sugar dragon, my self doubt creeps in sometimes unannounced and asks me "what if you're effing up everything?!" "What if you find out you've been on the wrong path this whole time and you have to start over but you can't because you're too far in?" "What if everyone knows you're crazy except you?" "What if you're operating in this separate world thinking you are coming to understand things, but you're like at least a few degrees off what everyone else is figuring out and what life is really about?"

These times suck, and variations of these questions have arisen during the Whole30. I just tell myself eventually I will feel differently so to not take it that seriously, and that lots of people eff up a lot but still seem confident in themselves and figure it out, so I will be ok.

Anyway, I know I made my friends sound bad, but mostly they have been really supportive. Especially now, I think they really respect me for holding out for what's now been tons of times going out and not drinking or eating. So...that's pretty cool. Even some people have said I am an inspiration for them -even cooler! It felt much easier even this last weekend, cause I'm kind of used to it now and it doesn't seem like this impossible hurdle, and I don't have to explain it to everyone for an hour, people are just like...."oh yeah, I forgot you're doing that thing."

If your friends are not being as supportive -why do you think that is happening? Are you willing to go to the place that they're not that good of friends? I know, for me and a lot of other people with self-worth problems I have known, sometimes we try to get the difficult people to be our friends, like us, date us, because those few times they validate us feel SO GOOD. But ultimately, its so damaging to chase after these types of people. People should be supporting you in your Whole30 and if they're not...then *&@# 'em!

And ultimately, its cool that the Whole30 is helping us look at some of these deeper issues for us...

I wish you all the best too!!

[LisaZ]

Thank you, @Questforhappiness, for posting this thread. I'm on day 12 of my second Whole30 and while it's been easier than the first (January 2016) in many ways, I'm feeling more "blue" than I remember feeling last time. Being reminded to go look at the timeline really helped! It turns out those feelings are quite the norm on days 10 and 11, and I think I'm just not quite over it yet here on day 12. I feel like I'm more aware of the foods I'm missing this time, probably because I know even more so now that my body really needs me to eat like this for good and less like I have eaten my whole life--with lots of bread (gluten-free the last few years), oats, etc. I enjoyed a full year of better digestion after my first Whole30, but certainly didn't stick to the way of eating well at all (especially with the political situation in America this year calling for lots of comfort eating). I'm so thankful for that past year of better digestion, but now my body is telling me to get back to eating better...so here I am doing another Whole30.

Anyway, I wanted to chime in here and add something about the being out with friends part. I read a great blog post by Melissa Joulwan of Well Fed fame, where she gave tips on going out. She said the first thing to do is get a club soda with lime slices and olives in your hands so that you're not left out of the "drinking" part entirely, but you're still compliant (I don't know about you, but I love club soda with lime and find it a great cocktail substitute when out--kombucha is another favorite for that). Then for the food, can you eat a burger wrapped in lettuce, with W30 compliant add-ons like pickles, mustard, onions, tomatoes, etc.? That still feels like "going out" food but it's usually compliant even when eating out. I know it's important to socialize with friends, so maybe there are other ideas for that part of it too?

Again, just thanks for starting this thread. It's good to know we're not alone!

[kalsjourney]

I am on Day 12 of my first Whole30, and the past day and a half I have been feeling depressed since yesterday afternoon - which was really weird because I woke up feeling AMAZING and even went for a walk in the sunshine! (To be fair, I didn't realize yesterday was depressive until today.) I do suffer from clinical depression and in a typical avoidance behavior, I have put off seeking help because I was feeling better (my rational brain knows better but, here I sit). I didn't associate the Timeline day 10-11 feelings with what I am feeling because I haven't been missing the foods that I used to eat, have no sadness at my change in lifestyle. It does feel a bit better knowing it is to some extent expected, even if my context is a bit different. 

My Whole30 experience has been different than I expected.  I have not been craving foods that I used to have at all and have been satisfied with the meals I have been preparing. I have been compliant with the foods I knew that I have an unhealthy relationship with food, but I was not expecting it to be this difficult. I am going to try adding more sweet potato (!!!) to my diet to see if it helps with the mood downswing, and I am making phone calls this afternoon to see someone. 

On 4/24/2017 at 4:57 PM, wag_2013 said:

Yes, the Whole30 allows/makes us confront our feelings when we would usually eat/drink/whatever them away. It can be really scary. It can be enlightening. It can be a lot of things to really "feel" your feelings. Journaling has really helped me during my Whole30s. It would probably benefit you to start one, especially because you said you've suffered from depression in the past. Wishing you the best on your Whole30 and Food Freedom journey!

This has certainly been my experience so far and while it is scary and uncomfortable, I am quite happy to be tackling these "demons" of mine. My relationship with food is not a good one, and I have taken to journaling every time I binge eat (so far I have found that being tired releases the 'bottomless pit ogre').  Hopefully I can rewrite how I respond to it, but for now I am content with reflecting on it and being kind to myself.