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So this is happening... again. W30R2


kellyfoss

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Missed a couple of update days. I did go on Monday for the gallbladder test...2 hours! Basically they light it up with radioactive fluid to see if everything is flowing properly...then they give you some sort of hormone that makes the gallbladdder contract...so you can see if it's working the way it should.

Something about that test really wiped me out and I came home and slept for 2 hrs. Then a full night's sleep. Today I feel like I have my energy back but man have I lost motivation to work out! I don't have the results yet and I just want to know what the heck is going on.

i know what's going on if I really think about it...I am very worried that I'll get on the scale at the end of this thing and the number won't be what I hoped. I know, I should not think this way! But years of worrying about that number is hard to erase. After my first whole30 I'd made a goal to lose at least 10 lbs...well I lost 8 and I was really disappointed. Yes I know this is ridiculous, it was still a win for me. But this is how my mind works and I need to change it. In the words of Ricky Bobby's dad..."if you're not first you're last"...that is supposed to be FUNNY but I seriously think that way. So I feel like I am mentally preparing myself for disappointment. How stupid!!! I hate it. 

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Dang this log really exploded into a thing I wasn't expecting, ha! I know I've been AWOL for a couple of weeks now, mostly because I had several social obligations that were just easier to do off-plan, so I have moved into a method of eating Whole30 compliant during the week and letting things be a bit lax on the weekends. In other words, don't do what I'm doing until after you've found your Food Freedom! I'm assuming I'll do another complete Whole30 at some point in the upcoming months (especially because WE ARE GETTING A DISHWASHER SOON OMG you don't understand how much of a difference that will make!), but mentally/physically it just wasn't happening for me this time. I kinda knew it from the beginning but was hoping I was wrong. Meh, what can you do. Glad to see you are all going strong still, though! Mad props to you for sticking to it, especially when going through emotional trauma. In some ways I find it oddly comforting to have the routine and process of a W30 when my life is in turmoil. Like something you can rely on and control when it feels like everything else is in a whirlwind.

I hope to jump back in and join you again soon! In the meantime, best of luck to everyone. <3

P.S. For anyone who cares, stray preggers kitty is now safely at a very nice, clean local pet shelter! She has been spayed and updated on her shots and is eagerly awaiting her forever home. I check their website daily to see if she's still there. I'm glad she is being well cared for, and I hope she gets adopted quickly and has an awesome life. :)

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1 hour ago, kellyfoss said:

 In some ways I find it oddly comforting to have the routine and process of a W30 when my life is in turmoil. Like something you can rely on and control when it feels like everything else is in a whirlwind.

so so true.

so...I assume preggers kitty had her babies??  

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1 hour ago, cashnic72 said:

so so true.

so...I assume preggers kitty had her babies??  

Sadly no, they had to terminate them. :( When I took her to the shelter their initial examination determined that they would most likely not be born healthy and would pose a risk to their mom's life (because she is such a small cat and something about an oddly shaped uterus?). They told me I could take her elsewhere, but most other shelters would say the same. I just told them to do what was best for her. Sad, but she looks really happy in their latest photos! She has filled out a bit and her fur is all shiny. So I think it all worked out.

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2 hours ago, kellyfoss said:

Sadly no, they had to terminate them. :( When I took her to the shelter their initial examination determined that they would most likely not be born healthy and would pose a risk to their mom's life (because she is such a small cat and something about an oddly shaped uterus?). They told me I could take her elsewhere, but most other shelters would say the same. I just told them to do what was best for her. Sad, but she looks really happy in their latest photos! She has filled out a bit and her fur is all shiny. So I think it all worked out.

yes sad but she was so little.  I don't think she was ready for babies yet.  Yes I'm sure it worked out for the better. Thanks for the update though.

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No-longer-preggers kitty was adopted an hour ago by a very nice family. :) I love happy endings! I hope she has a wonderful life and I'm glad we were able to help her.

Meanwhile, I'm starting my planning way in advance for my next (successful!) W30! Spreadsheets and all.

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16 minutes ago, kellyfoss said:

No-longer-preggers kitty was adopted an hour ago by a very nice family. :) I love happy endings! I hope she has a wonderful life and I'm glad we were able to help her.

Meanwhile, I'm starting my planning way in advance for my next (successful!) W30! Spreadsheets and all.

Great news!! I know it's such a big relief for you.

I'm a big fan of spreadsheets! I didn't get to that granular level of planning but I definitely had more of a plan this go around than my last. I had a good Pinterest page of easy recipes, pre-made my lunches (that was KEY), ate basically the same breakfast everyday and kept the dinners very simple with grilled meats and some sort of veggie side. Then I just threw in treats here and there (whole30 diehards may not like this)...cutie orange, apples, Kombucha, and cashews. Oh and nutpods coffee creamer! 

I love all the recipes but it really starts to overwhelm me when I try to plan. Like you said in an earlier post, the routine part of basically having the same thing each day made it easy to follow. That definitely has become boring here toward the end but at least kept me on track :) 

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So close to the end...

so I had discussed trying to stick to this plan on July 4th since it's my last day. Well, I have made a very mindful decision :) to stop on July 3. My husband has been in China for 2 weeks and I really want to enjoy that day with my friends and family. Since we BBQ quite a bit, I don't think the food will be much of an issue. I'm not really a sweets person, but as I have mentioned before, I likes my wine and/or cocktails! So, I'm going to wrap it up July 3rd and enjoy a drink with my friends and family. And really will not feel guilty about it. 

Today I went out for lunch for someone last day at work...had the MOST UNSATISFYING grilled shrimp (over cooked and bland), and cooked veggies which I am certain were just boiled and that's it. Ugh I could not salt them enough to create any taste.

so here is sit thinking about what to make for dinner, I have emergency pasta sauce, ground venison, and zoodles ready to go. Anything will be better than that tasteless lunch today. I really missed the lunch I've been bringing this week! Chicken salad w compliant mayo, diced apples, pickle relish, eggs; handful of blueberries, handful of cashews and some grape tomatoes. And I got one of this cool bento box thingys...so fun to eat out of that thing for some reason. It's sort of like how I fee about "fun size" or "travel size" stuff...so cute and tiny.

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So today is my Day 27 and honestly? I love this. I could do this pretty much forever. There have been a few days where I have really really wanted some ice cream, but apart from that... nah. I have Mel Joulwan's cookbooks and could eat for years without getting bored. I have kombucha and flavored seltzer and while I really fucking miss wine and beer (and being buzzed), I don't miss feeling bloated, hungover, tired, and fat as a result of imbibing. 

As of yesterday, I'm starting another 30 days of Whole30 plus a non-negotiable NO SNACKING rule. My sugar dragon is not as big a deal as my snack dragon. There is something about mindlessly snacking that I just. Freaking. Love. For no good reason. I obviously do not do it every day, but I really want to be 100% in control of this. So the next 30 days are all about eating three compliant meals and no snacks after dinner or between meals. This is going to be hard, but I've already come so far -- why not up the ante? My ab definition has started to pop and I think a no-snacking rule is the key to achieving this super vain but ultimately pretty satisfying achievement. 

I've found myself getting really anxious about stepping on a scale. Like, I know I look and feel leaner, so why do I care? I was so ready to let the number on the scale on day 31 define my success or failure, but you know what? EFF THAT. If it still has that much power over me, I need to go another 30 days without weighing myself. It's that simple. I still feel like it has a ton of influence over my mood and self-worth and the whole point is to get to a mental place where it does not. So ... screw the scale.

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On 6/29/2017 at 3:49 PM, kellyfoss said:

No-longer-preggers kitty was adopted an hour ago by a very nice family. :) I love happy endings! I hope she has a wonderful life and I'm glad we were able to help her.

Meanwhile, I'm starting my planning way in advance for my next (successful!) W30! Spreadsheets and all.

Yay I am glad she's safe and happy!!

And I'll be here for your next Whole30, I ain't going nowhere yet lol. (I need at least a Whole60 to undo the serious amounts of crap I have put myself through in the past... bad habits die hard.)

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