Death of the Dragon - 30 days of carnage (July 25)

[emilyelowe]

10 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

You're such an idiot, why would you eat that? I can eat whatever I want. I deserve it. You deserve to be healthy and feel good. You're a loser.  You have no self control. You have LOTS of self control you just DECIDED to eat it.  It wasn't a DECISION if I ate an entire pint of ice cream, that was a compulsion... 

I have also totally had this conversation. I wish I knew the secret to emotional Food Freedom, too! Here's to trying to find it.

Again, sorry about your Face Invaders. Does pain medication help at all or anything?  

[emilyelowe]

Wise words, @NoneOtherThanAmy! 

[emilyelowe]

Day 8 and feeling much better today. Period officially came, so that is probably helpful. I was also just in the BEST mood yesterday when I got out of work - it's amazing what a little grocery shopping can do.  I had the best grocery experience - I got deals on Tessemae's dressings and mayo (excited to try! - I was using Primal Kitchen before), I found 2 kombuchas and one water kefir to try, I found individual sale LaCroix so I can try new flavors, and I stayed within budget! *happy dance* Started with Guava kombucha yesterday (no added sugar, just guava puree!) and it was a success. I finished the second serving this morning.

Last night we had chicken thighs with zoodles and pesto. It wasn't over the top delicious but very satisfying and different than what we normally eat. We have always eating a lot of chicken breast so the crispy thighs were delightful! I'm having leftovers for lunch as well. Also brought along some cucumbers and blackberries since the leftovers were minimal. I assumed the pesto counted as the fat and I just used all of what it made, not 1/4 cup like the recipe said. 

Pre-WO this morning was HB egg + chipotle mayo and Post-WO was HB egg white. (Btw, if you had told me two years ago that I would be eating a HB egg with MAYONNAISE at 5:30 in the morning, I would have rolled my eyes across the floor in your direction). Breakfast this morning was sweet potatoes, peppers, 3 eggs, and ranch/hot sauce. It doesn't seem like a lot, but it keeps me satisfied.

That's one thing the hubby and I were discussing this morning - I definitely haven't been feeling hungry. I've just been eating because it's routine. I think that's pretty normal, but I haven't historically been one of the people who isn't hungry at all. I don't feel gross or overfull after I eat, though, so I just hope I am eating an appropriate amount and not overdoing it because the food is all so good. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm having random THE FAT IS GOING TO MAKE ME FAT panic attacks like some sort of crazy person. Someone mentioned earlier that as you do additional Whole30s, you have certain expectations and make assumptions, which I definitely think I am doing. My last W30 was my best one yet, thanks very much in part to this forum and people like @NoneOtherThanAmy and @Susabella627, so I think I am just so ready/anxious to feel and look the way I did on Day 25 or whatever of the last one that I am losing sight of the fact that it is only Day 8 and this process does start over once you decide to eat cookies on the daily.  

Energy is good - I am becoming alert more quickly and not getting frighteningly sleepy in the car on the way to work (cars put me right to sleep, even when I'm driving ). I'm not sleeping particularly well, but I think that is in part related to some neck pain I've been having since I got that bad massage, which also has me wondering if that is related to the headaches and not the magnesium. Also upped the amount of magnesium up a bit last night so hopefully that + kombucha + good food will get things moving along.  

Dinner tonight will be chicken fingers and potato salad from Blue Apron - I looked at the ingredient list last night and figured out what needed to be swapped with compliant things we have at home, so hopefully that works out. We'll need to add some other veggie, so we'll probably end up having green beans or okra as well. 

I think that's all I've got. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

[Susabella627]

Hi Slayers, 

Just checking in ... so much to catch up on and so much useful information in this thread! I love it!

@SugarcubeOD that conversation was so spot on that I think you might be in my head lol. And for me in the past if I let the "your an idiot" side win it usually results in a downward spiral because "why bother, you've already messed up" kicks in. Really thrying to change that sound track.

Thank you @NoneOtherThanAmy for that perspective, that is the convo I want to have in my head from now on and "only one meal away from getting back on track" is the mantra to live by!

 

@emilyelowe Getting personal, Sorry you weren't feeling your best with the bloating and all, but do you think your bloating is caused from the constipation? I ask because I used to have horrible issues with bloating etc.. and it was mostly all because of constipation. One thing I found that works great for me is my daily Coconut oil that I whip into my morning  coffee. It has been the best regulator I have ever found. That and the increased daily water intake.  Edited to add: just read your above post, so glad your feeling better and thank you, the feeling is mutual 

@diamonds422 Great NSV on your beach weekend. 

@Delicacious I just love your menu ideas and recipes, keep em coming please. 

To everyone here slaying your demons and dragons Keep up the good work YOU GOT THIS!! 

 

 

 

 

 

[SugarcubeOD]

4 hours ago, NoneOtherThanAmy said:

Thanks for posting this SugarCubeOD! It reminded me that I had a very similar track playing in my head before the whole30. Thinking back on it, I haven't had any of those thoughts in a while. Huge NSV for me! 

Something that has helped me quiet the track in my head: Brene Brown (who is one of my favorite speakers and authors) talks about the difference between shame (I am bad) vs. guilt (I did something bad). When we use shame in our self-talk, there's no growth and nothing to learn because that's just the way things are, "I am bad, end of story". When we use guilt, we can analyze the situation more logically and perhaps learn something. I firmly believe that everyone is doing the best they can given their circumstances and level of knowledge, so what was it about the circumstances that caused the bad decision? Looking at my food choices that way has really helped solidify why I off-road and has helped take the emotional aspect out of it when I do off-road, which has made it easier to jump right back to eating the way that makes me feel good.  

Ooh, I LOVE Brene Brown!  She was actually instrumental in my journey through the last year... thank you for your perspective, that's super helpful and reminds me that since i HAVE her books, maybe a read through them again wouldn't be such a bad idea... gotta keep getting those good habits in the head and heart until they stick!

[emilyelowe]

@Susabella627 It's hard to say exactly because I have kind of always been constipated (like as long as I can remember thinking about poo, I didn't poo as often or as comfortably as everybody else) but the bloating is more recent - the last couple years. The bloating didn't really start until I started cleaning up my diet, though, so it's possible it was there underneath the constipation all along and my gut was just so mutilated I never actually had the symptom. 

The coconut oil is interesting! I cook with it but I wonder if there are different benefits to it in the raw form? I don't drink coffee so not sure where to put it. I don't think I could just eat it, that would be weird. I will have to think about that! Thanks! 

[SugarcubeOD]

1 minute ago, emilyelowe said:

@Susabella627 It's hard to say exactly because I have kind of always been constipated (like as long as I can remember thinking about poo, I didn't poo as often or as comfortably as everybody else) but the bloating is more recent - the last couple years. The bloating didn't really start until I started cleaning up my diet, though, so it's possible it was there underneath the constipation all along and my gut was just so mutilated I never actually had the symptom. 

 

Oh man do I ever feel for you... I was actually JUST thinking about poop last night and feeling so grateful that I have hardly ever had a problem...I really hope you find relief with the natural calm and the kombucha...

[diamonds422]

2 hours ago, emilyelowe said:

I have also totally had this conversation. I wish I knew the secret to emotional Food Freedom, too! Here's to trying to find it.

Man, do I feel that. I think I really need to bite the bullet and buy "Food Freedom Forever." Doing a Whole30 is way easier than riding my own bike. I have also read Melissa saying that with each Whole30 completed, choosing to eat nourishing foods becomes more and more natural and less of a struggle outside of the program. Here's hoping! But I think the book will really help me. Eating my feelings has never done my any favors!

[Jim4884]

56 minutes ago, SugarcubeOD said:

Ooh, I LOVE Brene Brown!  She was actually instrumental in my journey through the last year... thank you for your perspective, that's super helpful and reminds me that since i HAVE her books, maybe a read through them again wouldn't be such a bad idea... gotta keep getting those good habits in the head and heart until they stick!

This got me thinking, why do we often need reminders about the good messages we hear, believe and tell ourselves?  I think that when we read or hear something that we connect with, the more it's an "a-ha!" moment, the more it resonates, it becomes SO OBVIOUS, that we know that we have it now, and unconsciously decide we never need to hear it again (because it makes so much sense!)   When the reality is, that is ONE positive message, versus the negative tapes we play over and over again regardless of origin.  What a great idea to go back and revisit those positive messages that make sense for us!

[ldmcniel]

@SugarcubeOD thanks for the tips! I was planning on printing the template and putting it on my fridge and never did, so I'll do that today.  I've also been planning on making pesto so maybe I'll do that today. I'm unfortunately not a huge fan of extra oils on anything, but I do have access to some salad dressings I can get soon. 

[SugarcubeOD]

3 minutes ago, Jim4884 said:

This got me thinking, why do we often need reminders about the good messages we hear, believe and tell ourselves?  I think that when we read or hear something that we connect with, the more it's an "a-ha!" moment, the more it resonates, it becomes SO OBVIOUS, that we know that we have it now, and unconsciously decide we never need to hear it again (because it makes so much sense!)   When the reality is, that is ONE positive message, versus the negative tapes we play over and over again regardless of origin.  What a great idea to go back and revisit those positive messages that make sense for us!

This is really meaningful conversation and I'm so glad that we're having it.  You're right that even subconsiously we are constantly battling the negative tapes and it takes constant reminding and practice to get those positive tapes to play louder.  I dont' have kids and I'm not having them but it does make me wonder if there was even a way to learn at a young age to prioritize the positive affirmations and tapes over the negative ones, or if having to battle negativity in your own mind is a part of the human condition... interesting thought...

Something my mom used to say has always stuck with me:  A lesson is repeated until it is learned.  That links in with the premise of Food Freedom... it's a practice to get to a place where you are confident in your decisions... 

[emilyelowe]

2 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

This is really meaningful conversation and I'm so glad that we're having it.  You're right that even subconsiously we are constantly battling the negative tapes and it takes constant reminding and practice to get those positive tapes to play louder.  I dont' have kids and I'm not having them but it does make me wonder if there was even a way to learn at a young age to prioritize the positive affirmations and tapes over the negative ones, or if having to battle negativity in your own mind is a part of the human condition... interesting thought...

Something my mom used to say has always stuck with me:  A lesson is repeated until it is learned.  That links in with the premise of Food Freedom... it's a practice to get to a place where you are confident in your decisions... 

Such an interesting topic, which I'm sure everyone can resonate with on some level, even those of us who are naturally pretty positive or confident people. I think it is part of the human condition. I'm currently reading "Searching for God Knows What," and the author basically starts the book by recognizing that, as a human, he is wired to have things outside of himself define him. It's how we're built because, originally, that was a good thing. Because of that inherent thing, I think we are constantly receiving and absorbing information from outside of us about our value and worth and, even when we think we are self-assured and confident, we can't really have completely independent thoughts about ourselves. So the negative tapes are then created by all the feedback we've received because we're searching for something outside of us to give us value. I think that makes it extra important to surround ourselves with positivity (<-- apparently that's not a word?) and truth because, ultimately, those things are kind of permanently placed in/on us. I have also read "Made to Crave," which is a great book in trying to learn how to define yourself how God sees you instead of how the world (and your food) has told you to think, but it all comes back to the same issue - looking outside of your own self to find meaning puts us at risk if we're not looking to the right things to define us. 

That's my take, anyway. It's so interesting how the conversations here align so well with the other non-food things going on in my life!

[SugarcubeOD]

16 minutes ago, emilyelowe said:

Such an interesting topic, which I'm sure everyone can resonate with on some level, even those of us who are naturally pretty positive or confident people. I think it is part of the human condition. I'm currently reading "Searching for God Knows What," and the author basically starts the book by recognizing that, as a human, he is wired to have things outside of himself define him. It's how we're built because, originally, that was a good thing. Because of that inherent thing, I think we are constantly receiving and absorbing information from outside of us about our value and worth and, even when we think we are self-assured and confident, we can't really have completely independent thoughts about ourselves. So the negative tapes are then created by all the feedback we've received because we're searching for something outside of us to give us value. I think that makes it extra important to surround ourselves with positivity (<-- apparently that's not a word?) and truth because, ultimately, those things are kind of permanently placed in/on us. I have also read "Made to Crave," which is a great book in trying to learn how to define yourself how God sees you instead of how the world (and your food) has told you to think, but it all comes back to the same issue - looking outside of your own self to find meaning puts us at risk if we're not looking to the right things to define us. 

That's my take, anyway. It's so interesting how the conversations here align so well with the other non-food things going on in my life!

First, thank you for two book recommendations! Second, I absolutely agree!  i am in general I find a positive person (and I'm positive positivity is a word!) but it is extremely tough to live in the world and not judge your own worthiness by what other people think/say/do.  I think it's even harder in the world these days with social media... snapshots of 'the perfect' parts of people's lives... no indication of the struggle, the trial and error, the nights in the dark doubting... we all have that and I think we would all be so much stronger and healthier and well adjusted if everyone just fessed up that life isn't easy.. it's worth struggling for, it's worth working on but it's not a Facebook status update or a snapchat length story...it's dirty, ugly and hard just as much as it's beautiful, peaceful and amazing... it absolutely has to be both... which I think in relation to the Food Freedom struggle is really important... I honestly believe that learning your way out of the negative tapes and the outside feedback is what makes the positive changes stick and what makes them more valuable.  For food its incredibly frustrating because it can be a really hard hole to dig out of but so worth it to do the work! 

[ldmcniel]

 

4 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

First, thank you for two book recommendations! Second, I absolutely agree!  i am in general I find a positive person (and I'm positive positivity is a word!) but it is extremely tough to live in the world and not judge your own worthiness by what other people think/say/do.  I think it's even harder in the world these days with social media... snapshots of 'the perfect' parts of people's lives... no indication of the struggle, the trial and error, the nights in the dark doubting... we all have that and I think we would all be so much stronger and healthier and well adjusted if everyone just fessed up that life isn't easy.. it's worth struggling for, it's worth working on but it's not a Facebook status update or a snapchat length story...it's dirty, ugly and hard just as much as it's beautiful, peaceful and amazing... it absolutely has to be both... which I think in relation to the Food Freedom struggle is really important... I honestly believe that learning your way out of the negative tapes and the outside feedback is what makes the positive changes stick and what makes them more valuable.  For food its incredibly frustrating because it can be a really hard hole to dig out of but so worth it to do the work! 

 

Wow, I love this conversation. I used to feel like I was a really positive person, but as I've gotten older I've isolated myself a lot. Part of that was going from college to working to being a mom...part of it was self esteem and probably a bit of social anxiety. As I've isolated myself, I've gotten very caught up in my own thoughts, my own doubts. On top of that, before I became a mom, the people I saw were co-workers, many of whom were stressed about work and pretty negative about it --> so I became very negative about it and stressed about it (on top of my natural state of being - a people (boss) pleaser). Becoming a mom has brought me out of my shell again and forced me to find positive people to be around (thanks postpartum depression). In reality, being diagnosed with postpartum depression was a huge blessing on my life. I ended up in counseling and around people that I ENJOYED. So, I've become more positive and more willing to work on myself and to look at myself and at God for my value, rather than a scale or other people or my jobs status or, or, or...

ANYWAY, that was a huge tangent. But this idea that we need to constantly remind ourselves of the positive messages is so good and so accurate. There is so much negative in the world. From keyboard warriors to those "perfect" snapshots of people's very messy lives...it's hard to know what is reality and what is true about yourself. The ONLY reason I am on this journey to Food Freedom is because I realized that I matter. That I need to take care of myself. That I DESERVE to feel better on a daily basis. That my family deserves to see me happy and thriving.

Just my two cents. I'm really enjoying everyone's perspectives here.  

[Delicacious]

@Susabella627 I post my daily meals (and ingredients) on my instagram @delicacious. Feel free to get some ideas from there!

I'm at a Science workshop today and the other presenter was speaking about how low fat is getting us fat, and about the sugar industry. Ha! He shared this video, about sugar and fats. Hilarious and very apt for this phase I'm going through. Day 8 today, energies have gone up a little though I still feel abit bloated. I'm thinking about this whole notion of food freedom. Ironically, it feels that I'm not free to eat anything! Like at tea breaks at workshops, birthday celebrations etc, or even finding food outside. I guess eventually, food freedom is, as Melissa puts it, "feeling in control of the food that you eat, instead of food controlling you." I think I still have a long way to go.  @ldmcniel, I love what you wrote about the reasons you are on this journey to food freedom. I agree that it's a journey to loving myself more. 

[SugarcubeOD]

So I've been thinking some more about this positivity vs negative self talk... I love love LOVE a good analogy... my therapist started writing them down cause I made up so many... so I was tryinig to think of an analogy as to why we have to seemingly continuously pour positive thoughts into ourselves... and i thought... well we drink water... that's not a one and done thing.  We drink water every day because it is healthy, its required for good bodily function and it keeps us alive.  But it must happen ever day... hourly even!  If we don't drink water on a consistent basis, our body turns toxic, our bodily functions don't work properly and eventually, things start to die.  Not much different than positivity... Not a one and done thing... those books that inspire us (Hello Brene!), the food that fuels us, the people that bring out the positive and the growth in us... that's not one and done either... it's not a meme on instagram that touches you for a second and a half, it's a constant practice to choose a better tape in our heads...

Anyway, those are my thoughts... anyone else have a good analogy?  I LOVE a good analogy... if I didn't mention that

[NoneOtherThanAmy]

19 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

Ooh, I LOVE Brene Brown!  She was actually instrumental in my journey through the last year... thank you for your perspective, that's super helpful and reminds me that since i HAVE her books, maybe a read through them again wouldn't be such a bad idea... gotta keep getting those good habits in the head and heart until they stick!

 I need to read her books again too. I should really make a commitment to find time to sit down and read for 15 mins each day. I'm so behind on my personal reading list...I'm still trying to find time to finish Food Freedom Forever, which I started about 2 months ago. If you haven't already heard it and can find it, I'd highly recommend "The Power of Vulernability" as an audiobook. It's a recording of Brene Brown speaking live over a weekend to an audience and she is such an excellent speaker that it makes all the concepts in her early books come to life. I find it easier to find time to listen to lectures or audio books, because I can do it on my commute and sometimes while I'm in the lab, depending on what I'm doing (doesn't work so well when I'm trying to write ). I listen to it 3 or 4 times a year, and I swear I immediately calm down about anything that is worrying me as soon as I start listening to it. 

As to the rest of the conversation...I agree that it is incredibly important to surround ourselves with people who bring positivity and encouragement into our lives. I've been very fortunate to meet a few absolutely wonderful people in grad school and they have really helped me through the last few years.  It's amazing how strange it is when I am forced to have prolonged contact with people who are less positive and are highly critical of others. Even if they aren't critical of me (to my face, anyway) I always struggle because it's just not a positive environment. We all need space to make errors, none of us are perfect, we're all human. It has been a 2 or 3 year struggle to get myself to accept that concept and I think I'm finally getting there.  

[Mooie]

Good morning! I have been MIA for the past few days, (huge project)

lots going on here.  What I noticed most as I did a quick catch up of the past posts....what an amazing army of support!

how great to feel vonurable and heard, then supported.  So grateful I found you all.

im on day 10....I've had a few struggles, days 7 and 8 were the hardest so far.  

i made a beef soup and that has been my go to for the last 3 days, my project is time consuming and mentally exhausting.

so I'm ok with boring right now.  Simple is good!

i am buying farm fresh eggs from a friend....game changer right now for me.  They just taste better to me for some reason.

i cut back to maybe 1.5 fruits a day....I enjoyed a peach the other day....so yummy!

I've upped my veggies, I want to go to our Minneapolis farmers market Saturday morning....I can spend hours getting lost there.

my struggles are just this high stress right now, I haven't really even left the house in days.  I am getting g my hair colored today and a blow out! Such a treat!!! 

I appreciate all the sharing and caring!  Helps me over my hurdles!

have a wonderful day!

Mooie

 

 

 

[Mooie]

52 minutes ago, NoneOtherThanAmy said:

 I need to read her books again too. I should really make a commitment to find time to sit down and read for 15 mins each day. I'm so behind on my personal reading list...I'm still trying to find time to finish Food Freedom Forever, which I started about 2 months ago. If you haven't already heard it and can find it, I'd highly recommend "The Power of Vulernability" as an audiobook. It's a recording of Brene Brown speaking live over a weekend to an audience and she is such an excellent speaker that it makes all the concepts in her early books come to life. I find it easier to find time to listen to lectures or audio books, because I can do it on my commute and sometimes while I'm in the lab, depending on what I'm doing (doesn't work so well when I'm trying to write ). I listen to it 3 or 4 times a year, and I swear I immediately calm down about anything that is worrying me as soon as I start listening to it. 

As to the rest of the conversation...I agree that it is incredibly important to surround ourselves with people who bring positivity and encouragement into our lives. I've been very fortunate to meet a few absolutely wonderful people in grad school and they have really helped me through the last few years.  It's amazing how strange it is when I am forced to have prolonged contact with people who are less positive and are highly critical of others. Even if they aren't critical of me (to my face, anyway) I always struggle because it's just not a positive environment. We all need space to make errors, none of us are perfect, we're all human. It has been a 2 or 3 year struggle to get myself to accept that concept and I think I'm finally getting there.  

I am going to download or find the podcast for this None Other! Can't wait! Thanks!

[Mooie]

Breakfast:

bortabella mushroom cap with a farm fresh soft eggs and walnut basil pesto.

 

[emilyelowe]

I am just having ALL THE FEELS right now about these posts.  

For a more basic update, I got in a real big fight with the dishes yesterday. I threatened to throw them out - it was all very dramatic inside my head.  

But in all seriousness, I was a bit of a mess when I got home yesterday. Since we're past KILL ALL THE THINGS, it's probably just that TOM, but I hate that it has that affect on me. It's so dumb. Blue Apron didn't come in time to make it for dinner, so we ended up making the eggplant lasagna we had planned for Friday. I was quite excited. I come home from my haircut and hubby has dinner in progress so of course the whole place is a mess (it would be if I had been cooking, too, it just seems less crazy when you're in it, you know?)  so that may have been what set me off - not sure. I started making some additional zucchini, squash, and onion we had to go with the lasagna, since the recipe was really just beef, eggplant, and sauce. I'm in a mood at this point and not sure why but I figure I'm just hungry. Dinner finally gets done at 7 o'clock (an hour later than we normally eat) and it's SO SALTY I COULD DIE.  The recipe was terrible. So, there goes 2 hours of my hubby's time and 2 pounds of grass-fed, grass-finished beef. (OK, not really "there it goes," because my husband said he will eat it, but that's what it felt like to me because there is no way I am eating any more of it). It just kept getting saltier and saltier with every bite until I just couldn't eat it. So dinner was super lame and I ended up super frustrated, plus I think all that salt set off the Sugar Dragon. Then of course I find out my husband also didn't even use two of the spices I specifically purchased for this recipe because he "couldn't find them." #facepalm Now it's time to clean up and the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, but I can't bear the thought of emptying the dishwasher AGAIN, so I think, "I'll just wash them by hand." MISTAKE. SO MUCH MISTAKE. It took me like an hour. THERE ARE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE. Once they were all done, I was pretty much fine, which is why I said I got in a fight with the dishes. Such a mess. 

At that point, it was my bedtime, so thank God for my husband, who being the darling that he is , had already made my sweet potatoes for breakfast today and had chicken marinating for lunch today. Plus we had extra beef from the lasagna, so he grilled two burgers for lunches while he had the chicken on. Phew. I packed my lunch and called it a day (except for that part where I accidentally spent 45 minutes on social media and only 10 in my Bible because #thestruggleissorealrightnow). Hopefully this evening is better, since I get to go straight home from work! Hopefully my attitude will be better too because (1) reflection and (2) I thought of @Delicacious this morning as I was thinking about all this and realized the dishes in her house must be RIDICULOUS, so I should probably just count my blessings. 

Luckily, I do think there are some things I can take away from all this. (1) I need to meal prep, even if we plan to cook dinners together. This means I won't always be stressing about lunch, I won't have to cook and clean so much during the week, and I will always have a back-up plan, in case the lasagna takes a dive into the Dead Sea again. (2) Salt is a Sugar Dragon kickstarter. This totally makes sense, but it was interesting to see it right there in all it's annoying glory. 

I'm feeling much, much better today in general. Good workout, no bloating, some mild cramping this morning but that's not food related. I slept really well even without the magnesium so wondering if I need to either take a break from that, or if I need to drink it earlier. I think I'm drinking it too close to bed time and it is causing me to pee in the middle of the night which is messing up my sleep. Last night was the first night in a while I didn't wake to pee in the middle of the night. I also switched my pillow, so that could have also been a factor in why I slept better and feel better this morning. 

Day 9 for me... 

Pre-WO: HB egg and mayo

Post-WO: HB egg white

M1: sweet potatoes, peppers, avocado, 3 eggs. I made a point today to have the same amount of peppers as potatoes because I know I need to focus more on the less starchy veg, and they were a struggle, so I may need to switch up the morning routine a bit or do something different with the peppers at least. They were not great. 

M2: grilled chicken marinated in Tessemae's Caesar dressing, sweet potato noodle bun, garlic mayo, green beans and I may try Passionfruit LaCroix!

M3: One of the Blue Apron meals, modified to be made compliant

Have a great day, Team Dragon Slayer!

[SugarcubeOD]

1 hour ago, emilyelowe said:

I am just having ALL THE FEELS right now about these posts.  

For a more basic update, I got in a real big fight with the dishes yesterday. I threatened to throw them out - it was all very dramatic inside my head.  

But in all seriousness, I was a bit of a mess when I got home yesterday. Since we're past KILL ALL THE THINGS, it's probably just that TOM, but I hate that it has that affect on me. It's so dumb. Blue Apron didn't come in time to make it for dinner, so we ended up making the eggplant lasagna we had planned for Friday. I was quite excited. I come home from my haircut and hubby has dinner in progress so of course the whole place is a mess (it would be if I had been cooking, too, it just seems less crazy when you're in it, you know?)  so that may have been what set me off - not sure. I started making some additional zucchini, squash, and onion we had to go with the lasagna, since the recipe was really just beef, eggplant, and sauce. I'm in a mood at this point and not sure why but I figure I'm just hungry. Dinner finally gets done at 7 o'clock (an hour later than we normally eat) and it's SO SALTY I COULD DIE.  The recipe was terrible. So, there goes 2 hours of my hubby's time and 2 pounds of grass-fed, grass-finished beef. (OK, not really "there it goes," because my husband said he will eat it, but that's what it felt like to me because there is no way I am eating any more of it). It just kept getting saltier and saltier with every bite until I just couldn't eat it. So dinner was super lame and I ended up super frustrated, plus I think all that salt set off the Sugar Dragon. Then of course I find out my husband also didn't even use two of the spices I specifically purchased for this recipe because he "couldn't find them." #facepalm Now it's time to clean up and the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, but I can't bear the thought of emptying the dishwasher AGAIN, so I think, "I'll just wash them by hand." MISTAKE. SO MUCH MISTAKE. It took me like an hour. THERE ARE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE. Once they were all done, I was pretty much fine, which is why I said I got in a fight with the dishes. Such a mess. 

At that point, it was my bedtime, so thank God for my husband, who being the darling that he is , had already made my sweet potatoes for breakfast today and had chicken marinating for lunch today. Plus we had extra beef from the lasagna, so he grilled two burgers for lunches while he had the chicken on. Phew. I packed my lunch and called it a day (except for that part where I accidentally spent 45 minutes on social media and only 10 in my Bible because #thestruggleissorealrightnow). Hopefully this evening is better, since I get to go straight home from work! Hopefully my attitude will be better too because (1) reflection and (2) I thought of @Delicacious this morning as I was thinking about all this and realized the dishes in her house must be RIDICULOUS, so I should probably just count my blessings. 

Luckily, I do think there are some things I can take away from all this. (1) I need to meal prep, even if we plan to cook dinners together. This means I won't always be stressing about lunch, I won't have to cook and clean so much during the week, and I will always have a back-up plan, in case the lasagna takes a dive into the Dead Sea again. (2) Salt is a Sugar Dragon kickstarter. This totally makes sense, but it was interesting to see it right there in all it's annoying glory. 

I'm feeling much, much better today in general. Good workout, no bloating, some mild cramping this morning but that's not food related. I slept really well even without the magnesium so wondering if I need to either take a break from that, or if I need to drink it earlier. I think I'm drinking it too close to bed time and it is causing me to pee in the middle of the night which is messing up my sleep. Last night was the first night in a while I didn't wake to pee in the middle of the night. I also switched my pillow, so that could have also been a factor in why I slept better and feel better this morning. 

Day 9 for me... 

Pre-WO: HB egg and mayo

Post-WO: HB egg white

M1: sweet potatoes, peppers, avocado, 3 eggs. I made a point today to have the same amount of peppers as potatoes because I know I need to focus more on the less starchy veg, and they were a struggle, so I may need to switch up the morning routine a bit or do something different with the peppers at least. They were not great. 

M2: grilled chicken marinated in Tessemae's Caesar dressing, sweet potato noodle bun, garlic mayo, green beans and I may try Passionfruit LaCroix!

M3: One of the Blue Apron meals, modified to be made compliant

Have a great day, Team Dragon Slayer!

I'm not laughing AT you I"m laughing WITH you... I could FEEL the frustration seething out of you in certain parts... altho I did make a face when you thought instead of unloading the dishwasher you'd wash the dishes... LOL... that's one of those 'seemed like a great idea at the time'  moments!  I have no dishwasher and if I did, I would do double duty in some other environmental impact zone jUST so I could load that sucker up and run it every day regardless of whether it was full or not.. I would never wash another dish as long as I lived... 38 years and I'll consider my life a success when I live in an apartment/house with a dishwasher!

I"m so sorry about the Dead Sea Lasagne!  That's happened to me before with recipes and I"ve forced them down beccause I refuse to waste food so the silver lining is your hubby will take care of that for you!

I hope you have a great day today!  Oh, and how's the hair?  Good cut?

[emilyelowe]

Glad somebody is laughing with me today, @SugarcubeOD because last night there was nothing to laugh about. Hahaha... I apologized to my poor husband for my sour mood and he just goes, "Well, you're not mad at me, right?" LOL. 

"the Dead Sea Lasagne," Hahahahahahaha... Literally sitting here at work giggling uncontrollably in my chair. 

Hair cut is good! I'm growing it out so you can't really tell the difference but I'm sure it was worth it. 

[SugarcubeOD]

1 minute ago, emilyelowe said:

Glad somebody is laughing with me today, @SugarcubeOD because last night there was nothing to laugh about. Hahaha... I apologized to my poor husband for my sour mood and he just goes, "Well, you're not mad at me, right?" LOL. 

"the Dead Sea Lasagne," Hahahahahahaha... Literally sitting here at work giggling uncontrollably in my chair. 

Hair cut is good! I'm growing it out so you can't really tell the difference but I'm sure it was worth it. 

Oh man, I love a good giggle!  I learned the hard way that the only way to protect and prolong a good giggle is to NEVER try and explain it to the person sitting next to you becasue they won't get it... I've been known to read or think of something funny at work and HOWL at my desk... my coworkers (there are 11 of us in one large office) have just stopped asking and ignore me now!

[Mooie]

Emily....I felt your frustration!  That was a lot in a short period of time.  I'm curious on when the disherwasher got unloaded?

 It wasn't pretty but you got through it! Bravo! ⭐️ 

 

im struggling today, I'm craving sugar! Anything sweet....something! I just finished a delish diner:

speghetti sauce over 1/2 a yam with ground beef and zucchini 's . I'm full, I just had this nagging sugar dragon!

i found this (thanks sugarcube for always listing the links!)

"The key here is to redefine your idea of reward.  Think long and hard about the foods you’re grieving and ask yourself what need you’re expecting them to fulfill.  Are you feeling anxious and looking for reassurance?  Are you feeling sad, and looking for something to cheer you up? Are you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier to self-sabotage than fail? Remind yourself that food cannot fill that void for you—cannot make you feel truly accomplished, comforted, calm, happy, beautiful. Then, find another way to fill that need that does not involve those foods. Prepare yourselves for these days, knowing that all you have to do is see them through to the other side before things get much, much easier."

 

i will be looking really deep into my unhealthy relationship with food....hoping answers some swiftly.