howellymatrimony

Struggling to stay committed - Day 4

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So, it's Day 4, and I'm seriously riding the struggle bus. I'm a graduate student taking an absurd number of credits this semester, working part time, newlywed, puppy, etc. Unfortunately I'm already prone to anxiety, but generally manage well and haven't experienced anything too bad in about a year. Well, thanks to Whole 30 I'm having borderline panic attacks, having dreams about cheating, and unable to focus on my school work. I definitely used chocolate to cope with anxiety pre-program, and I think the combination of having that off the table, plus the insane number of rules and my perfectionism is just not a good combination. I'm really starting to wonder if this is actually a healthy thing for me to be doing right now. I absolutely cannot let me academic performance suffer, that would extend my education and not be worth it. Both my mom and husband are encouraging me to modify/stop. 

I'm pretty sure I'm eating enough, and honestly I can't imagine eating more without being uncomfortably full after meals. But I'm still getting hungry and having strong cravings, and it's making it very difficult to get anything done (and I have a ridiculous amount of homework). 

Typical Breakfast: 

3 eggs (cooked in ghee), sweet potato/white potato (roasted in olive oil), either peppers, spinach, or cherry tomatoes. Yesterday I also had a peach. 

Lunch: 

4 Turkey meatballs with whole fat coocnut milk curry, cauliflower rice, raw spinach 

Dinner: 

Chicken in a rich tomato/eggplant/onion sauce (also includes 1/2 cup olive oil for the recipe), kale, roasted potatoes 

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Hey there!  I'm really sorry you're struggling and feeling bad - I can 'hear' in your writing the toll it's taking.  The truth of the matter is that while the Whole30 is a great eating plan, it's not always the best time for some people to do it.  That doesn't make you a failure or a quitter, it just makes you a person that is in tune with themselves and understands their limits.  You have a LOT going on and maybe adding this to it is the straw that overwhelmes the camel.  I'm going to link an article about the Whole30 gone bad at the bottom but first, I'm going to suggest that instead of doing a strict Whole30 right now, maybe you take the principles (whole foods, 3 x a day, keep fruit and nuts on their own to a minimum) and then do something sustainable for yourself for now.  The Whole30 will always be here for you when you have the time and ability to really undertake it.

If you DO want to keep going, there are a couple of things that I can recommend you change about your meals and maybe if you try that for a few days, you might find you get relief and can keep going in a better state of mind.  It looks like you're undereating.  We generally don't count cooking fat as the 'added plated fat' because a lot of it stays in the pan or cooks off, so your breakfast and dinner are lacking in that department.  Also, we want you to fill your plate with veggies so the non starchy carb veggies in breakfast were probably not enough.  We do recommend that you start with a fist sized serving of starchy carb a day and then increase for athletes, very active people etc... so maybe half of the amount of potato in breakfast and bump up the non starchies?

Were the turkey meatballs about the size of 1-2 of your palm size (thickness x width x length)?  The curry sounds great and that would be your fat but spinach when it chews down is basically nothing so I don't know how much cauli rice you had but you may have been lacking veggies.  Take another look at the template linked in my signature below and if you want to keep going, try and make your meals match (eating the first one within an hour of waking). The fact that you're getting distractingly hungry and craving tells me that the composition of the meals needs work so I really think if you work on that for a couple days, you'll feel better but it's definitely up to you.

 If you choose to stop to save your sanity and your education, I would really still use the template as a guide, just be a little more lenient on yourself as far as maybe things like sugar in ketchup.  I would caution you not to use sweets and sugar as a coping strategy as in the longrun that actually does you more of a disservice than a service.

Here is the article I mentioned - take a read and know that whatever you choose to do, we'll definitely support you!

https://whole30.com/2012/02/whole30-gone-bad/

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16 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

Hey there!  I'm really sorry you're struggling and feeling bad - I can 'hear' in your writing the toll it's taking.  The truth of the matter is that while the Whole30 is a great eating plan, it's not always the best time for some people to do it.  That doesn't make you a failure or a quitter, it just makes you a person that is in tune with themselves and understands their limits.  You have a LOT going on and maybe adding this to it is the straw that overwhelmes the camel.  I'm going to link an article about the Whole30 gone bad at the bottom but first, I'm going to suggest that instead of doing a strict Whole30 right now, maybe you take the principles (whole foods, 3 x a day, keep fruit and nuts on their own to a minimum) and then do something sustainable for yourself for now.  The Whole30 will always be here for you when you have the time and ability to really undertake it.

If you DO want to keep going, there are a couple of things that I can recommend you change about your meals and maybe if you try that for a few days, you might find you get relief and can keep going in a better state of mind.  It looks like you're undereating.  We generally don't count cooking fat as the 'added plated fat' because a lot of it stays in the pan or cooks off, so your breakfast and dinner are lacking in that department.  Also, we want you to fill your plate with veggies so the non starchy carb veggies in breakfast were probably not enough.  We do recommend that you start with a fist sized serving of starchy carb a day and then increase for athletes, very active people etc... so maybe half of the amount of potato in breakfast and bump up the non starchies?

Were the turkey meatballs about the size of 1-2 of your palm size (thickness x width x length)?  The curry sounds great and that would be your fat but spinach when it chews down is basically nothing so I don't know how much cauli rice you had but you may have been lacking veggies.  Take another look at the template linked in my signature below and if you want to keep going, try and make your meals match (eating the first one within an hour of waking). The fact that you're getting distractingly hungry and craving tells me that the composition of the meals needs work so I really think if you work on that for a couple days, you'll feel better but it's definitely up to you.

 If you choose to stop to save your sanity and your education, I would really still use the template as a guide, just be a little more lenient on yourself as far as maybe things like sugar in ketchup.  I would caution you not to use sweets and sugar as a coping strategy as in the longrun that actually does you more of a disservice than a service.

Here is the article I mentioned - take a read and know that whatever you choose to do, we'll definitely support you!

https://whole30.com/2012/02/whole30-gone-bad/

Hi there, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I'm feeling a little less panicky this morning, afternoons seem to be the time I get the agitated on Whole 30. Probably because there's a bigger gap between lunch-dinner, than breakfast-lunch for me. Anyways, I think I'm going to have to take a "just for today" approach to Whole 30. I think it's honestly going to become more of a gf/df/no desserts/no processed carbs/eat lots of whole foods situation. My life and schedule are just too hectic right now to plan worry about whether my restaurant salad dressing has 1/2 tsp of sugar in it. We went out last night and I just couldn't bring myself to put forth the mental energy of asking what my lettuce wrapped burger was cooked in. So, some days might be true Whole 30, some days I might eat a little brown rice or regular mayo. I thinks that's just what I can handle right now.

I know according to Whole 30 I'm under eating, but I'm also torn because the book also says to listen to your body. I can't imagine putting more food in my stomach at meal times. I'm already so full after eating and don't want to be uncomfortable. But, I will try adding in more non leafy/non starchy veggies. Eating veggies for breakfast (other than leafy and starchy is super unappealing to me, but I"ll try!)

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