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Kirbz's Whole30 Log


kirbz

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ROUND 2 Day 5: Friday, November 30

Sleep Last Night: 9 hours 51 minutes (1:29 deep; 6:32 light; 1:50 REM; 0:06 awake)

Wakeup: 7:30 am 

Meal 1 (9:30 am): snack pack of compliant turkey (I could not bring myself to eat another meal of the breakfast casserole I’d been eating all week and I didn’t have anything else to eat)

Meal 2 (4:45 pm): three over-easy eggs cooked in leftover bacon fat; served over small spiralized sweet potato and small spiralized russet potato cooked in ghee with salt, pepper, and Spice Cave Land seasoning; 3 slices compliant bacon

Snack (8:00 pm):  Numi Organic Embrace tea with 1.5 scoop collagen powder

Meal 3 (9:00 pm): ribeye steak grilled on the BBQ with spicy seasoning; can of sliced white potatoes pan-cooked in ghee

Supplement(s): Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides

Water Intake: ~60 oz

Steps: 6,498

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • N/A

Thoughts/Reflections: I made it through another day. That’s pretty much it for today. I didn’t eat what I would consider to be particularly healthy meals, but they tasted delicious and I needed that today.

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ROUND 2 Day 6: Saturday, December 1

I'm not as good at keeping track of what I eat on the weekend so this will be more of a summary... 

I only ate two meals again today. I don't recall why. 

  • Meal 1: three over-easy eggs cooked in leftover bacon fat; served over small spiralized sweet potato and small spiralized russet potato cooked in ghee with salt, pepper, and Spice Cave Land seasoning; 2 slices compliant bacon
  • Meal 2: chicken pan-cooked in avocado oil with BBQ sauce, salt, and pepper; sweet potato pan-cooked in avocado oil with seasonings 

Shawn and I also went climbing in the evening. I did a couple of easier climbs and then worked on a V4 project. 

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ROUND 2 Day 7: Sunday, December 2

Here's another summary... 

My meals were more balanced today and I was more excited about what I ate. So that's good progress! 

  • Meal 1: three over-easy eggs cooked in leftover bacon fat; served over small spiralized sweet potato and small spiralized russet potato cooked in ghee with salt, pepper, and Spice Cave Land seasoning; 2 slices compliant bacon
  • Meal 2: one tin of sardines pan-dried in coconut oil with seasonings (Well Fed 2 Pan-Friend Sardines); small side salad of spinach and arugula with Primal Kitchen Caesar dressing 
  • Meal 3: six salisbury steak meatballs served with generous portion of gravy; ~1 cup mashed potatoes served with generous portion of gravy (Paleo Running Momma Salisbury Steak Meatballs)

Shawn and I went climbing in the evening again. I did a V0, V1, V2, V3, and V4. It was my first-ever V3 and my first-ever V4! 

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ROUND 2 Day 8: Monday, December 3

Sleep Last Night: 6 hours 36 minutes (1:19 deep; 3:41 light; 1:36 REM; 0:08 awake)

Wakeup: 6:00 am 

Meal 1 (6:45 am): 1.5 chicken apple sausage pan-cooked in avocado oil; ~1 cup green beans pan-cooked in ghee with salt and pepper; spoonful of kraut (I was only able to eat about 1/3 of this meal due to lack of appetite)  

Snack (9:30 am): Gaia Liver Cleanse tea with one scoop of collagen powder

Exercise (12:30-1:00 pm): 40-minute walk during my lunch break

Meal 2 (1:30 pm): one medium acorn squash stuffed with sausage, onion, celery, apples, pecans, and cranberries (Paleo Running Momma Stuffed Acorn Squash)

Snack (6:45 pm): one soft boiled egg

Exercise (7:10-7:30 pm): 500-meter lap swim (120 average HR; 155 max HR)

Meal 3 (8:00 pm): six salisbury steak meatballs served with generous portion of gravy; ~1 cup mashed potatoes served with generous portion of gravy (Paleo Running Momma Salisbury Steak Meatballs)

Supplement(s): Primal Kitchen Collagen Peptides

Water Intake: ~100 oz

Steps: 11,664

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • Stomach feels slightly flatter
  • More in control of cravings
  • Still struggle to eat early in the morning

Thoughts/Reflections: I’m feeling much better about this week. I think maybe I just didn’t like the batch meals I prepared last week. So I turned to some trusty favorites and am actually excited about the food I’m eating again. I would like to be eating more vegetables though. A lot more. Particularly leafy greens. I’m definitely over-relying on potatoes and starchy vegetables right now (I am on my period though, so I’m giving myself a break).

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ROUND 2 Day 9: Tuesday, December 4

Sleep Last Night: 8 hours 17 minutes (0:49 deep; 4:40 light; 2:48 REM; 0:13 awake)

Wakeup: 6:00 am 

Pre-Workout Meal (5:45 am): one soft boiled egg + small handful of coconut flakes

Exercise (7:00-8:00 am): cross-training class (148 average HR; 184 max HR)

Post-Workout Meal (8:15 am): couple bites of peppered chicken breast + couple bites of sweet potato

Meal 1 (9:30 am): three small chicken tenders pan-cooked in avocado oil with mustard BBQ sauce, salt and pepper; ~3/4 cup sweet potatoes pan-cooked in avocado oil with spices

Snack (11:30 am): Gaia Liver Cleanse tea with one scoop of collagen powder

Exercise (12:15-1:00 pm): 45-minute walk during my lunch break

Meal 2 (1:45 pm): half large acorn squash stuffed with sausage, onion, celery, apples, pecans, and cranberries (Paleo Running Momma Stuffed Acorn Squash)

Meal 3 (8:00 pm): one large-ish bowl of pork stir fry with carrots, broccoli, sugar snap peas, mushrooms, onion, and probably some other vegetables

Supplement(s): Primal Kitchen Collagen Peptides

Water Intake: ~110 oz

Steps: 16,497

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • Felt extremely tired in the afternoon (like, I almost went out to my car to nap)
  • Resting heart rate has decreased (from 62 to 56)

Thoughts/Reflections: Nothing significant to report today. Except that I really miss Lucky Charms and ice cream…

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ROUND 2 Day 10: Wednesday, December 5

Sleep Last Night: 8 hours 16 minutes (0:26 deep; 4:57 light; 2:53 REM; 0:08 awake)

Wakeup: 7:00 am 

Meal 1 (7:30 am): four eggs scrambled in ghee with a splash of coconut milk and seasoned with salt, and pepper  

Exercise (12:15-1:00 pm): 45-minute walk during my lunch break

Meal 2 (1:15 pm): five salisbury steak meatballs served with generous portion of gravy; ~1/2 cup mashed potatoes served with generous portion of gravy (Paleo Running Momma Salisbury Steak Meatballs)

Exercise (7:00-8:15 pm): indoor top rope climbing (~6 wall attempts, including my first 5.10b and 5.10c) (129 average HR; 179 max HR)

Meal 3 (9:00 pm): half large acorn squash stuffed with sausage, onion, celery, apples, pecans, and cranberries (Paleo Running Momma Stuffed Acorn Squash); large handful of mixed arugula and spinach with Primal Kitchen Caesar dressing 

Supplement(s): none

Water Intake: ~100 oz

Steps: 12,908

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • N/A

Thoughts/Reflections: I’m definitely prioritizing exercise over eating. I’m not sure that’s the right answer, but it’s what I’m doing and I’m so proud of how active I have been!

Going forward, I’m going to try and eat less starchy vegetables and try to only eat them at night. I spoke with a couple of friends recently and both have had positive experiences with eating carbs in the evenings. For me, this means I’ll eat starchy vegetable in the evening. This also happily aligns with recommendations I see here on the forum and will most likely lead to me eating more leafy greens!  So, we’ll see how that goes!

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On 11/27/2018 at 10:04 AM, kirbz said:

So I ate a Big Mac. Honestly, it didn't even taste that good. And I never thought I would say that. 

Oh my gosh, I am such a sucker for fast food so I hear you! Although that must have been a good feeling in some ways, to eat something that would normally be such a bad but loved food and not find that same satisfaction in it ... making future cravings easier to shut down!

I browsed through a few of your posts and I love them, I am so impressed you were able to start around the holidays, more power to you! I hope this new round 2 is everything you want. I'll def revisit for some inspiration when I start my first (well first real round) in January! I did like 20 days in the summer but didn't manage to see it through. 

Also I was wondering, what are you using to track your sleep?

Thanks for all your sharing! 

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@rollyourownway Thanks! I’m glad you find some inspiration in my posts! And I wish you the very best on your upcoming Whole30! 

So I wear a Garmin Fenix 5s all the time. I purchased it to track my outdoor workouts but it also tracks my heart rate throughout the day and my sleep. So I get my sleep metrics from my Garmin. I think there are likely cheaper models that will track a lot of the same information! 

Anyway, best wishes and happy holidays! 

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ROUND 2 Day 11: Thursday, December 6

Sleep Last Night: 8 hours 08 minutes (1:14 deep; 5:17 light; 1:37 REM; 0:01 awake)

Wakeup: 6:30 am 

Pre-Workout Meal (5:45 am):  small handful of coconut flakes

Exercise (7:00-8:00 am): cross-training class (138 average HR; 178 max HR)

Post-Workout Meal (8:10 am): couple bites of peppered chicken breast

Meal 1 (9:30 am): four small chicken tenders pan-cooked in avocado oil with mustard BBQ sauce, salt and pepper; ~1/2 cup sweet potatoes pan-cooked in avocado oil with spices

Exercise (12:45-1:30 pm): 45-minute walk during my lunch break

Meal 2 (1:45 pm): one large bowl of pork stir fry with carrots, broccoli, sugar snap peas, mushrooms, onion, and probably some other vegetables

Snack (5:30 pm): Blueberry RXBar

Meal 3 (7:45 pm): large sirloin steak grilled on the BBQ with spicy seasoning; sweet potato fries cooked in the air fryer with garlic  

Supplement(s): none

Water Intake: ~120 oz

Steps: 15,486

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • N/A

Thoughts/Reflections: Nothing to report today.  

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ROUND 2 Day 12-14: Friday, December 7 to Sunday, December 9 

I'm definitely being lazy about keeping a log... 

For food, I did pretty poorly this weekend. I skipped several meals (I know I only had two meals on Saturday and two on Sunday; I don't remember Friday), didn't eat very many vegetables, ate too much red meat, and relied heavily on white potatoes. But I stayed compliant so that's that. Three more days down. 15 to go. 

For exercise, I did great! I'm continuing to prioritize exercise over meal planning and prep, which doesn't bode well for eating more vegetables but I'm super proud of myself on my fitness! On Saturday, I did a snow hike with the pups and on Sunday, I climbed at Sugarloaf. I did a climb I had done less than two months ago and the progress was HUGE! 

And... I continue to struggle with why I'm doing this. I know I'm losing weight, and that's fantastic because I have a lot of weight to lose in order to climb. But, I also want this to kick-start long-term eating habits but I don't want to eat this way for the long-term. I desperately wanted a PB&J sandwich while I was at the crag and I just can't convince myself that that's a bad thing... 

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ROUND 2 Day 15: Monday, December 7

Sleep Last Night: 7 hours 32 minutes (0:38 deep; 4:59 light; 1:55 REM; 0:29 awake)

Wakeup: 5:30 am 

Meal 1: none

Meal 2 (1:15 pm): bowl of chicken soup with bone broth, celery, carrots, onion, and potatoes; 1/2 snack pack of coconut butter

Snack (5:45 pm): Blueberry RXBar

Meal 3 (7:30 pm): two round steaks cooked in canned whole tomatoes with salt and pepper; medium baked potato with ghee; fresh herb salad with 1/3 orange bell pepper, 2/3 cucumber, and Primal Kitchen Caesar dressing

Supplement(s): none

Water Intake: ~70 oz

Steps: 6,953

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • Clearer skin (my colleague commented that my skin is “glowing”)

Thoughts/Reflections: I was starving most of the day. Nothing sounds good. At least not that I can eat. Why am I doing this?

The interesting thing about the things I yearn for lately is that I just want simple-to-prepare foods. I want wholesome oatmeal I can quickly make and eat at my desk. I want a simple sandwich that I can quickly make and eat anywhere. I’m so tired of the planning, the prep, the cleanup, and even the effort to eat this food. Guh. Why am I doing this?

Also, I’m disappointed that I didn’t exercise today. Or even move very much. Less than 7,000 steps! Yikes!

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ROUND 2 Day 16: Tuesday, December 8

Sleep Last Night: 9 hours 42 minutes (0:52 deep; 5:52 light; 2:58 REM; 0:06 awake)

Wakeup: 7:15 am 

Meal 1: none

Snack (9:30 pm): Numi Organic Embrace tea with 1.5 scoops collagen powder

Exercise (12:30-1:15 pm): 45-minute walk during my lunch break

Meal 2 (1:15 pm): two round steaks cooked in canned whole tomatoes with salt and pepper; medium baked potato with ghee

Meal 3 (7:30 pm): Blueberry RXBar

Supplement(s): Primal Kitchen Collagen Peptides

Water Intake: ~80 oz

Steps: 10,929

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • N/A

Thoughts/Reflections: It was a crappy day.

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ROUND 2 Day 17: Wednesday, December 12

Sleep Last Night: 8 hours 07 minutes (1:16 deep; 5:27 light; 1:24 REM; 0:04 awake)

Wakeup: 6:15 am 

Meal 1: none

Snack (9:30 am): Traditional Medicinals Nighty Night tea with 1.5 scoops collagen powder

Meal 2 (12:30 pm): bowl of chicken soup with bone broth, celery, carrots, onion, and potatoes

Snack (6:00 pm): Wild Zora Curry Turkey meat and veggie bar + snack pack of coconut butter

Exercise (6:45-8:00 pm): indoor bouldering (completed a handful of V0-V2 climbs and then worked on a V3 boulder problem) (105 average HR; 149 max HR)

Meal 3 (8:30 pm): Chipotle salad bowl with carnitas, pico de gallo, tomatillo salsa, guacamole and extra lettuce  

Supplement(s): Primal Kitchen Collagen Peptides

Water Intake: ~80 oz

Steps: 6,892

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • N/A

Thoughts/Reflections: Nothing significant to report today. 

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ROUND 2 Day 17-21: Thursday, December 13 to Sunday, December 16

And, once again, I was rather lazy with keeping a food log. So here's a quick summary. 

On most days (if not all of them), I did not eat three whole meals and I did not do a pre- or post-workout meal. In short, I haven't been eating enough. And I'm not eating in the morning pretty much at all. Most of my meals start around noon. But, eating has really just been a chore. I don't like the planning. I don't like the prep. I don't like the eating. And I don't like the cleanup. So yeah, not great for getting all the meals in that I should be eating. 

But, I did stay compliant. 

And I made up a bunch of new recipes to hopefully change my perspective! My favorites were Mel Joulwan's Golden Cauliflower Soup and an online recipe I found for Paleo lasagna. Oh. My. Goodness. They were both delicious! I also tried some chocolate chili, some Instant Pot sweet and sour chicken, and some zucchini soup. So, at least I revived my interest in eating! 

I didn't do so great at the exercise thing either. I did a short hike with the pups on Sunday and a short climbing session with Shawn, but that was about it. 

Oh, and I didn't drink nearly enough water. Nor did I do any collagen supplements. 

So, on to the next week! This week will be better! 

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Oh, and sadly, I think it is very probable that I ate some non-compliant food on Thursday. We went out to a restaurant, and while I ate from the gluten-free/dairy-free menu, and asked a number of questions about ingredients and added sugar, I'm sure something slipped through. Because I could have asked even more questions but I didn't want to be a complete nuisance (i.e,, asking specific ingredients in the spice blend and balsamic).

This is why I don't eat out on Whole30. But we were celebrating a milestone for one of my team members and I was hosting and paying, so I went. Oh well. 

I did have a bit of a stomache ache for the rest of the day, but nothing serious. And I'm not sure if that was real or more related to the stress of having maybe eating something non-compliant. 

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ROUND 2 Day 22: Monday, December 17

Sleep Last Night: 7 hours 47 minutes (0:45 deep; 4:21 light; 2:40 REM; 0:05 awake)

Wakeup: 6:00 am 

Meal 1: none

Meal 2 (12:30 pm): bowl of sweet and sour chicken with carrots, red bell pepper, and pineapple (Paleo Running Momma Sweet and Sour Chicken); large serving of steamed broccoli (equal to two small heads)

Snack (5:30 pm): small bowl of chocolate chili (Mel Joulwan Chocolate Chili); small bowl of zucchini soup (Mel Joulwan Silky Gingered Zucchini Soup)

Exercise (7:25-7:50 pm): 600-meter lap swim (118 average HR; 147 max HR)

Meal 3 (8:30 pm): large portion of lasagna with zucchini noodles, mushrooms, spinach and cashew “cream cheese, and a sausage and beef meat sauce  

Supplement(s): none

Water Intake: ~80 oz

Steps: 10,048

Symptoms/NSVs:

  • Diarrhea
  • Nasty stomach ache (which was relieved once I released all that diarrhea)

Thoughts/Reflections: Today was a good day. I didn’t eat or drink enough, but I enjoyed the  meals that I did eat. So I call that a win. I feel like my standards for myself have declined since previous Whole30 attempts, but I’m really just trying to make it through this one. So here I am.

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  • 2 weeks later...

ROUND 2 Day 23-31: Tuesday, December 18 to Thursday, December 27

Well, clearly I've been terrible at keeping a food log. But I'm still here and I'm still plugging along. 

I even stayed compliant through a camping/climbing trip in Bishop. It was hard. Really hard. I didn't realize how many food rituals I associated with camping. For example, we ALWAYS have salami, cheese and crackers. But I couldn't have that. And it was hard. I brought a lot of leftover soups and chilis in mason jars and ate a lot of that. I also skipped some meals entirely and even made up a meal with an RXBar, a meat stick, and coconut butter. 

Unfortunately, I've been eating only two meals a day on many days. It's mostly due to poor planning and just straight-up not wanting to prep, plan, cook, and clean up. And I've been eating too many potatoes and not enough vegetables. 

But, I'm still here. 

On a good note, this is starting to feel like something I can sustain longer term. Because I finally found a breakfast option that I really enjoy! Scrambled eggs and soup! 

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Alright, as I'm officially done, here are my results! Though I do plan to continue my Whole30 through the end of the week. I may then try reintroducing some legumes, or I may stay Whole30 a bit longer...  

Weight Loss: 15.0 lbs

NSVs: 

  • Clearer, glowing skin with fewer blemishes
  • Leaner appearance and flatter tummy 
  • Less painful joints 
  • Fewer sugar cravings 
  • Healthier relationship with food
  • More nutrition in my diet 
  • Energy levels are slightly more stable throughout the day 
  • Learned new recipes and cooking skills (and tried new cooking gadgets) 

General Thoughts:

I'm starting to think that a Paleo-ish lifestyle can be sustainable for me. Breakfast was honestly one of my biggest hangups, but I finally figured out something that works! Scrambled eggs and a mason jar of soup (which will be a rotation of Mel Joulwan soups)! Yay! 

There are a lot of things I wish I had done better. I didn't eat three full meals on many days. I didn't eat within an hour of waking on most days. I ate too many potatoes and not enough vegetables. And I didn't eat pre- and post-workout meals for the latter half of my Whole30.

But, despite all this, I learned a lot about what can be sustainable for me, which is honestly more important than the NSVs, so I'm trying to be gentle with myself.  And what I have been eating, even with the flaws, is light years better than what I was eating before so I still call this one a raving success. 

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 Congratulations @kirbz ! What a huge accomplishment. I'm only on day two, but your logs have given me inspiration. My hope is to gain some of the insights that you managed to. 30 days is just the beginning for me. It's applying the learnings after the 30 days that I'm most excited about!

I'd love to hear about your reintroduction!

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@HappyPlace Thank you! I'm glad you've found some inspiration here! I wish you the very best! 

I'm not posting much right now because I'm still maintaining Whole30, but I definitely plan to thoroughly document my reintroductions, which I will do formally as recommended in the book. So more to come in reintros! 

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Though I'm officially done with my Whole30, I'm not sure exactly when I plan to start my reintroductions. I'm feeling good with Whole30 for now, so I plan to continue for at least a few more days. Regardless of the when, I do plan to do the formal, structured reintroduction as outlined in the book. I want to know how different foods affect me as I refine what I want my long-term eating to look like.

Here's what I want to reintroduce to see how they affect me (i.e., these are the foods I'd be most inclined to eat on occasion): 

  • Legumes: garbanzo beans (because hummus), peanut butter (because PB&J) 
  • Non-Gluten Grains: white rice, gluten-free bread (see above), gluten-free oats (because overnight oats) 
  • Dairy: cheese, yogurt, sour cream 
  • Gluten-Containing Grains: hamburger bun (because Red Robin)
  • Sugars: honey, maple syrup, coconut palm sugar (because Paleo desserts) 

I honestly may reintroduce sugars first, because we're planning another camping trip for New Years and I really, really want to make some hot chocolate! The ingredients are simply coconut milk, cacao, maple syrup, and vanilla powder (compliant), so I don't think it'll be overly disruptive. But I really want it and I'm curious to see if it awakens my sleeping sugar dragon. I also plan to make and take banana bread with me. The ingredients are 100% compliant, but it is bread. I'll then probably start formal reintroductions, beginning with legumes, the week of January 6. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

ROUND 2 Day 31-41: Wednesday, December 26 to Saturday, January 5 

I continued Whole30 for another ten days. I didn't end up making hot chocolate or banana bread for our New Years camping trip. I stayed fully compliant and actually ate meals much closer to the meal template this time around. It was a proud moment for me. 

I'm also feeling more confident that I can sustain a healthy, whole food, Paleo based diet for the long term. I've learned how to pull together very quick meals. I've learned how to keep my house stocked with supplies that mean I can often try new recipes without having to purchase any ingredients I don't have on hand. I've figure out breakfast. And I'm enjoying the food. 

I'm so proud of this round. It wasn't as perfect as my first round. But it set me up for establishing long-term habits. And that's worth more than I could say! 

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ROUND 2 REINTRODUCTION Day 1: Sunday, January 6

Foods Reintroduced Today: "bread" (though no non-compliant ingredients)

How I Felt: Great! I ate three large pieces of banana bread in lieu of dinner last night because I felt like it and I don't feel bad about it at all and I don't feel poorly in any way. 

Thoughts/Reflections: I officially ended my Whole41 today because I made banana bread. The ingredients were 100% compliant, but it's bread, so I can no longer claim to be continuing my Whole30. I feel good about my decision.

Honestly, I'm kind of struggling to start reintroductions because I'm no longer sure what I want. And because it's difficult to reintroduce only one food group at a time. For example, I want to start with peanut butter and hummus, but how am I supposed to eat hummus without bread? I thought I wanted hummus to be a part of my life but maybe not. Because I really want it with the bread and I don't want that to be a common part of my food future. Sure, I can have it with carrots, but then I'm not sure I really want it to be a part of my life. But, I'll still try it and see how it makes me feel. I hope to do those two food items this week. And then continue on to the next food group later this week or next

I mostly just want to start reintroducing a larger variety of Paleo foods, including breads and pancakes and desserts. Because I do want those to be a part of my long-term Food Freedom. But, reintroductions are a huge part of the benefit of this program, and I missed out on that last time, so I am determined to see the formal reintroductions through first! 

I also pulled out my never-read copy of Food Freedom Forever and plan to start reading that. I think I already have ideas for what my Food Freedom will look like, but I shouldn't pass up the opportunity to perhaps learn something new from the wisdom of those who inspired this journey in the first place. 

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What about hummus with paleo breads/crackers? I know you said carrots are meh for you but what about other veggies like cucumbers, peppers, radish, jicama? I personally love humus on a baked potato. 

 

Also, hummus may be less of an irritant if you make it yourself as there won't be the same types of additives/preservatives and you can really soak the beans before you make it. 

Good luck! I'm on day 9 of my first W30 and am excited to find out how foods will impact me afterwards hope this reintro phase gives you the information you're looking for :)

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ROUND 2 REINTRODUCTION Day 4: Wednesday, January 9

Foods Reintroduced Today: legumes (garbanzo beans) 

How I Felt: No symptoms. I ate a fairly sizable portion of hummus with my shawarma last night and I didn't have any negative side effects. It tasted delicious, I felt fine afterward and the next morning, and I did not feel overly full, despite the large meal. 

Thoughts/Reflections: I'm happy that I don't have any side effects from hummus, as it's something I really love. However, it definitely takes something away from it to not be able to pair it with some delicious Middle Eastern bread. But... that's okay. Even if I decide not to eat it, at least I know. 

I will continue my legume introduction tomorrow morning with peanut butter. Because that, I really do want in my life! 

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