Binge eating and re-starting Whole30

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer  Sorry about your mom  Glad she is doing better at only 5000 ft  Will she be discharged today? 

@hmg1993 - I sure hope the airline is going to compensate you in some way!  What a bummer!  Is there bad weather or something that the flights are being cancelled?

So, after 3 days of food galore - work and then family gatherings where I was able to keep control, yesterday (day 4) didn't go very well.  All the cookies.  And I got so angry about it too.  I talked to my husband before the Christmas Eve family stuff and said, I don't want to binge, I'm so tired of losing days to the "day after", tired of being achey and sore the next day, everything, I hate it.  And then Christmas Eve went fine.  I ate right before going up, my MIL had some fruit and kombucha for me and all was good, came home and ate the biggest big ass salad I've ever had and went to bed feeling so happy that I hadn't eaten 4 dozen cookies.  Then yesterday when we were at the next family thing I said to him "I'm going to eat cookies", which granted wasn't really much of a call for help, but it was a small one... and he said "ok".  When we got home, after the little guy was asleep I just lost it.  It was the first time I've ever been angry after a binge, it was sort of weird.  But I realized, and said to my husband, that when I want to binge I can't be treated like an adult - I lie, I sneak, etc.  I asked him if I were addicted to heroin and said to him "hey, I'm just gonna go shoot up, I really want to" would he just say "sure, ok"?  He responded that it is different because I won't die from eating.  But the urges are the same.  The behaviors to get what one wants are the same.  Argh.  I'm just so frustrated.  I read about some brain-pulse therapy or something they are using for narcotic addicts in Italy with really high success rates.  I'm ready.  It said it is being tested on other addictions around the world.  Maybe I can sign up.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/09/the-addicted-brain/

[Guest]

@hmg1993 I can’t believe you are still not there! Sounds like the ultimate traveling nightmare. Hang in there. I really believe everything happens for a reason so there has to be some kind of light at the end of this vacation tunnel! 

@littleg the holidays are the hardest time for people like us. I would say it’s good you are angry, but also just remind yourself that baby steps are what is important to focus on. The binges won’t just stop. They may get better (or worse sometimes), but we all just have to keep making small adjustments and work towards small goals. I would say you did great the day before and that should be celebrated. The next day was probably your brain just tired from all the resisting before. You’ve learned your lesson and can move on to practice new strategies now. We don’t learn unless we fail sometimes. But the most important question, were the cookies good enough to be “worth it?” Or at least in the future would 1 of them be worth it? I try to ask myself which foods were worth it after a binge and remember that for the next time so I at least choose foods I truly love. Small baby steps. 

I made it through yesterday. Didn’t eat dinner which was good bc I was still so full. Drove back for work today. Very sad to leave my parents there bc they aren’t leaving until Thursday, but I’m going to be flying home next week to help care for her for a while, so I have to work as much as possible this week to make up for it. Feeling like this whole experience is making me a much stronger person already in many areas of life. Learning to be more positive despite the sadness, learning to appreciate the very little things, learning to multi task, stay calm under pressure, be patient, kind instead of angry, and most importantly the thing I’ve never been good at, functioning with very little sleep. Coffee has doubled but thank god for it. If that becomes my new addiction I’ll take it over cookies. 

Feeling strong this morning and ready to push through whatever 2018 has in store for me. 

[Guest]

Early and long work day for me today. I’ve got my meals packed and feel strong still. Got a little better sleep last night so I don’t feel like a zombie. I’ve kind of lost track of days and time, but I’m pretty sure I’m on day 5 today! I’ve been trying to journal everyday (about food stuff and life stuff) to stay mindful and keep track of my thoughts, feelings, sleep, eating patterns, etc. it’s helping a lot to combine my emotions and my behaviors into written form as a way of venting/stress relief, and also to remind myself of healthy ways to deal with my emotions and how much better I feel when I handle it in a responsible way. I think this first 4 days has honestly been so successful bc food is just not the first thing on my mind at the moment, which is good, but being away from my mom now and back to work means I just need to keep my focus and not get complacent like I tend to on the dreaded day 7 or so. I still feel very different about this time though, and have some new plans of action in case I go into binge mode.

I discovered the cafeteria next to our Patrol building has pre- cooked baked potatoes hot in foil at lunch, and the store at the base has packets of wholly guacamole, bags of carrots, raw almonds, and pistachios. So if I start getting the urges, I promised myself I will only buy those foods. And I actually let myself keep some cash in my jacket this week, bc I’m feeling like in that moment last time, if I had the money to choose a better option than the cookies on the table, I might have. Also, cash runs out and a card is unlimited, so it’s safer. So I’m gonna give it a try. Yesterday on the table was chocolate covered peanut butter Rice Krispie treats, coconut and chocolate fudge, puppy chow, and a tray of cheese and crackers. If it was day 7 I probably would have panicked. It didn’t phase me at all luckily, but the smells were pretty unreal. I know the treats won’t stop coming until after New Years, so I’m preparing myself mentally every morning. I joked yesterday and said “What would happen if I brought in a huge veggie tray I wonder?” And surprisingly people said, “I think we all would thank you and be greatful.” It was nice knowing that not everyone enjoys having this stuff around constantly. 

My parents are scheduled to fly out tomorrow, assuming she stays stable today. Hoping the traveling doesn’t send her back to the hospital, but I kind of have a feeling it will. My dad is basically planning to go straight there from the airport, but honestly I think it’s easier for him right now when she is there getting quality constant care bc he’s definitely overwhelmed and stressed when he’s alone with her. 

Anyways, that’s my update. @hmg1993 you better be eating pineapple for breakfast today or you need a serious refund on this trip. 

@littleg you getting back on track? I didn’t get a chance to read that article yet but am planning on it today at work. I’m the dispatcher today so I’ll be doing lots of sitting at the computer. Sounds interesting. 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer  Back on track.  A friend from work wants to do a W30 and hubs wants to do one for 21 days and then try keto after the holidays so I think I'm just going to get started tomorrow.  Just like you I feel a little different after this last binge.  And then yesterday at pelvic floor PT the therapist told me that in her opinion the worst thing one can do for chronic types of pain is to eat inflammatory foods because the tissues get "sticky" due to cellular dehydration (more related to pH and other cellular signals than how much water you drink - so you can't just undo inflammation with more water ).  I know I've heard that drinking water can help with fascial pliability before (maybe from an article from MDA, not sure) so I believe her - I need my muscles and fascia to just slip and slide  So, for so many reasons I think a W30 might be good for me now.  Plus its so cold out and there are so many good W30 soup/stew recipes out there.  

Sounds like some good finds for mountain food... though I sure hope you get an employee discount because I bet that potato costs $10!  Where is all this food at work?  In a break room kind of setting?  Do you have to spend time there?  In the hospital the food is usually in the break room (sometimes it is out on the unit this time of year though) and I always thought it sort of unavoidable but there was a success story on the W30 blog about an RN and she used to just go someplace besides the break room to eat so she didn't have to sit in front of a plates of the stuff you described everyday.  Kind of sucks to have to isolate yourself but could that be an option?  And I think you should totally bring in a veggie tray!  Make some dump ranch or something to go with it and at least you'll always have a snack around if you get hungry!  

Sorry to hear that the holidays were tough on your mom and dad.  I hope once she is back home she settles back into her routine and has no more scares!  How is she doing with her diet change?  When my mom had cancer she went back and forth between f-it - I'm eating what I want and trying to eat healthy.  Totally normal response I think  

@hmg1993 - I sure hope you just have no wifi on the beach and that is the reason for no posts!  Thinking (jealously) of you

 

 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer and @littleg  Sorry for the silence.  Finally here, albeit three days later!  The final fun happened when our flight had to turn around half way there and go back to LAX because of a technical issue!  But all worth it in the end as it's warm and so peaceful here.  Sitting out on the Lanai reading so heaven! @Dragonslayer  I hope your mom is doing better.  Sending hugs

 

Off to whole foods today to stock up on healthy foods.  So far have managed not to put head in fridge and feeling very calm and focused.  Looking forward to going into new years with you and finally getting to grips with this beast!

 

 

[Guest]

@littleg my work situation is unfortunately totally unavoidable. We are all stationed in a hut (small house type building) at the top of the mountain. It’s a big room with a few tables, some lockers, 2 fridges, a sink, stove, a computer, and phone. We all stay there all day unless we are dispatched to specific areas to help people, etc. I can pretty much leave whenever I want assuming we have enough other people up there to help, but all the food just sits either on the tables in the room or in the fridge. It’s around us all day, and our only chairs to sit in when we are having down time are at those tables. I try to just leave and go ski a run when I get urges. But it’s hard when you just have to come right back to the table of treats. I’m getting more and more used to ignoring it though, it’s just something I have to keep working on and looking as a good challenge to make me more mentally strong. And yes the food at the mountain is expensive but I usually get a discount. Still not ideal to spend money there too much though. 

Good day for me today. Feeling munchy now that I’m home from work but I stopped after some fruit and leftover potatoes to write this and will make a proper small plate now. I’m not too hungry but I think just having something on a plate will help me mentally. 

@hmg1993 yay for finally getting there! Send updates about the hot surfer men. 

@littleg sounds like an ideal situation with your friend and hubs getting on board too! And I’ve read similar stuff about the inflammation and agree. And I noticed a huge difference after just a few weeks on Whole30 last time. Hoping I get to that point soon bc I’m still so bloated and inflamed everywhere from my months of bingeing. Let us know if you decide to start tomorrow! I’m excited for you if so! (And for me/us to have another accountabilibuddy!) 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer  I will try hard to bag and tag one for you!  Perhaps when my husband isn't looking   I am not much of an aquatic creature but like to sit on the beach and watch the waves.  It's super calming.  I don't know why but it's so much easier not overeating on vacation, ergo stress is definitely my biggest trigger.  So obviously the answer is that i need to stay on vacation!  And win the lottery while I am at it.

Great idea to put stuff on a plate even if you're snacking.  I think it makes us so much more aware of what we're consuming. @littleg  Glugging down water like it's my job!

 

 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer I didn't realize ski patrol was so sedentary  I figured you guys were out all day long, more of patrolling rather than waiting to be called.  I can see being stuck in a hut with all that food would be hard.  I give you so much credit for doing as well as you are!  

@hmg1993 Interesting insight about stress and overeating.  We always take really active vacations so I always figured all the sun, movement and endorphins were why I was always less urge-y on vacation.  Maybe stress plays a bigger role than I realize!  Well, enjoy your relaxing ocean waves and pineapples and sun and everything really - what isn't there to enjoy in Hawaii! 

So I'm doing a W30.  Today is day 1.  It is like the world is helping me.  I was at my regular PT yesterday (it is bad when I have to categorize my physical therapists...) and some how the topic of crappy food came up and he said that despite his profession (he does all manual PT so a lot of hard work with his hands) his hands never "hurt".  They get tired but he doesn't have real pain... unless (wait for it...) he eats sugar.  I've had this random swollen knuckle on my middle finger for almost a month now (this is what prompted me to look into AIP - my grandmother had really bad RA and my mom was going down that path when she passed away).  After a few days of no nightshades it felt better - but looking back I now realize that was also like 8 days of W30ish eating.  The day after Christmas, and all the cookies, my pointer finger started hurting too.  So, this W30 isn't about weight loss or binge eating, this is about trying to make some headway with pain.  I'm not going to do AIP but I am going to try to limit the big nightshades: peppers, tomatoes, white potatoes.  There goes about 30% of my diet  I'll probably start a log so I don't pollute this one with my personal ramblings!

Grunting and squirting noises.  Just on time  Just wait @Dragonslayer pretty soon your days are going to be filled with poop and snot too!

[Guest]

@hmg1993 totally agree about the vacation thing too. I’m always great while I’m gone, but as soon as I get home from a trip is when the urges hit, probably from the stress of returning to normal life and binges. Stress sucks. It makes everything worse! I actually read somewhere that something like 90% of all illness are either completely or initially caused by stress! 

@littleg yay for day 1! And trying to figure out this pain thing. I hope you get some positive results. And I have a feeling if you do, that will only help your mindset to binge less bc you will see the positive effects of the good foods and want to continue with those. And I guess I made my job sound a little more sedentary than it is. It’s not really at all. We are constantly doing things and moving, BUT it’s all dependent on the day, how busy we are, and the mood we are personally in, bc basically all the work we do is self motivated. If I wanted to stay in the hut all day and eat all the foods, I totally could, and not many people would notice. But if I want to stay active and outside almost all day, I can totally do that too. We just have to “check in” at the hut after each mission or job and we do, So it’s all me learning to stay motivated and getting out when I know I need to in those moments. 

last night was an improvement for me, but still a binge. Made a plate of food, but then made another plate, and then another bowl, and then too many small cups of almonds with salt and melted coconut butter later, I found myself saying “what did I just do?!” It was semi mindful, and I was telling myself, “at least it’s all Whole30.” And it’s true. It was a big improvement, and when I had the urge to go to the store, I went to bed instead. (It was a hockey night so I was alone again... big trigger always!) so I’m happy I stayed Whole30 and didn’t go shop for all the bad foods, but I need to work on the being alone panicked feeling, as well as my constant issue of munching when I get home from work. 

I was thinking about something last night that is strange to me and I’m not sure why it changed... when I was in the peak of my bingeing with little to no control a few years ago, my urges almost always started after breakfast and went through lunch time. And nighttime was when I was strongest. I could come home starving and still be able to wait hours for dinner... IF I had a glass of wine. It helped me wind down and was a big comfort for me bc it kind of reduced my appetite, settled my stomach a bit, and obviously made me slightly tipsy but never too much (there was always the fine line between controlled tipsy and binge tipsy). Anyways, when I stopped drinking for Whole30, it totally switched. Now I’m always strongest in the morning, and weakest at night. It’s weird to have to have this shift now bc it’s pretty new and different after literally years of always being super controlled at dinner. I don’t want to start drinking again, but I guess I will keep trying the tea thing after work. Maybe I just need something that I know is mentally calming in my hand to help. The challenge will be now to make the tea before I open the fridge! 

Anyways, just thought that was kind of a weird change and not sure why.

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer  I wonder if you made yourself a seltzer water with fruit or something that would feel a little more like a special drink if that would help?  Evenings are my kryptonite too and I try to get around it by planning and prepping my dinners at the weekend so dinner is relatively quick to come together and then i try to stay away from the kitchen after dinner.

 

@littleg  Feasting on pineapple.  It's so good and a lot less sweet that what we get on the mainland!  The vacation no stress approach is real but then I do tend to eat like a wild wildebeest when i get back from a trip.  It's definitely the stress of reentry, which I am going to try and avoid this go around.  Congratulations on day 1 (or 2 now i think?)!

 

Starting to think about new years resolutions.  Being kinder to myself will be one big one!

[littleg]

I was thinking of you last night @hmg1993 I made yucca root.  And most of it went in the trash.  Perfect a recipe for me and then give me some very specific directions ok?!

@Dragonslayer I was going to suggest kombucha.  Or heck, go back to wine.  A glass a day is better for you than binge eating for sure!  I was also thinking of suggesting a little mini dance party  I was driving home and "Feeling a Little Lonely Tonight" came on the radio.  I love that song!  And was immediately in a better mood singing out loud in a very embarrassing voice.  I'm going to add this to my strategies - put on happy song, turn up volume when urges come.

Day 1 in the books.  Day 2 in the works.

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer Totally agree with @littleg on having the glass of wine.  In the scheme of things it's better than the alternatives.  And if you can find organic wine it doesn't have a lot of sugar.  Or have a vodka and soda with a lime.  Very low sugar.  I know in my food freedom I will definitely enjoy both in moderation, which for me is probably 2-3 drinks a week, sometimes less.

 

So funny @littleg.  I bought taro root here and tried to cook up and it ended up in the same place as your yucca.  And it smelled yucca. But challenge accepted and I will report back! 

[littleg]

@hmg1993 The recipe I found said to boil for 8-10 min.  They weren't cut into even pieces (our fault) and some were mush and some were hard.  The ones that were just right got put in a pan with some oil to fry.  They tasted like fried, I don't know, air maybe?  Not much flavor nor consistency I thought.  Oh well

[Guest]

@hmg1993 and @littleg your probably right about the wine. But I do want to get through the true whole 30 days first, so I’m gonna keep practicing using other techniques. Yesterday I didn’t feel hungry for lunch so I waited to eat the rest of it until 3:30. Then I wasn’t starving at home so that helped. I have a habit of thinking I need to eat every few hours and I’m trying to get rid of that mindset, especially with the Whole30 and fat burning concept. I’m gettimg better, but learning to listen to my hunger signals has always been hard so it’s just taking lots of practice! 

About the yucca... I’ve cooked it twice. Once in fries that I boiled for 10 minutes and then baked at 450. Those turned out pretty great actually. Some were weird consistency or hard, but if you get the similar size cut it does help. I put salt and smoked paprika on mine. Helps with the “air” flavor  the 2nd time was a funny story. I totally forgot you are supposed to boil them that time and just cut them and put them in the oven like potatoes. An hour later I was confused why they were still so hard but decided “I guess maybe they will be good crispy.” I was wrong. We ate some that had seemed to get a little softer, but most were terrible. Then I did some googling and found out that yucca can be very poisonous if you eat it without cooking/boiling thoroughly! I freaked out and ended up doing hours of googling “can you die from eating baked yucca that wasn’t boiled” type searches haha. My fiancé was freaked out too, and we both kept waking up that night saying “we are still alive and not sick!” We never got ill thank god, but he has refused to let me buy it since then, despite the fact that I will never forget to boil it again! 

i found that the rutabaga I cooked recently had the “air” taste too. I want to try again in a different way, but I love parsnips so much and know how to use those to may just stick to that. 

Day 8 for me! Doing really well. I feel so different mentally still, and I’m finally clear headed and feel detoxed from all the sugar and gluten in my system. I have less inflammation, less joint pain, more energy, and last night was the first night in months I’ve slept all the way through without waking up to pee multiple times! (Sugar always does that too me). I’m feeling happy again instead of constantly defeated, and happy is saying a lot considering what my mom is going through right now and the stress and sadness I’m fighting. Its so much easier to handle in a healthy way when I feel good and eat good. 

Today is Mexican egg scramble, leftover salmon with a loaded salad, chicken sausage with sautéed cabbage and leeks, and unknown yet for dinner. My fiancé has been doing all the “chores” this week for me since I haven’t had a day or night off to do anything for a while. He did laundry and grocery shopping yesterday which was a god send and it was actually really nice to come home and see what he picked for food instead of me being in charge of it.

hope day 3 goes well @littleg! And how long are you basking in pineapples and sunshine @hmg1993? 

[littleg]

I have recipes!

 

https://www.scatteredthoughtsofacraftymom.com/how-to-cook-brisket-in-the-pressure-cooker/  <-- holy moly, this was good, I think I could have eaten the whole 2.5 lb brisket

https://www.marksdailyapple.com/beef-stroganoff/  <-- skip the cream and the butter, I used ground beef and onions instead of shallots and steak

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer  I find that smoked paprika added to any vegetable makes it taste divine.  Perhaps it will work for Yucca too.  Heading to the farmers market here tomorrow so will look out for some.  Planning a new year's eve dinner for us -- probably this greens recipe (for luck) https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/aromatic-wilted-greens-with-coconut-milk and some pork loin (if i can find it)  And potatoes.  Never wrong.  No taro thank you!  Congratulations on day 8!  And I hear you on the wine.  I am only now thinking about including it in my repertoire but it's only because I feel more confident  about my choices with a good stretch behind me.

 

@littleg  those recipes look so good.  I have been wondering about getting a slow cooker or an insta-pot or a pressure cooker.  What do you all think?  Worth it?  We're both gone from early morning until late evening so wondering how that would all work.

Five more days of sun filled morning hikes and reading books and then back to the frozen north.  Savoring every moment!!

[littleg]

@hmg1993 If I were rich I'd give everyone I know an InstantPot.  I LOVE mine.  And it clears out the appliance storage a bit - you can donate your slow cooker, your yogurt maker, your rice cooker (if you have these things).  It makes things easier because it is quick (that brisket - 80 min last night vs 3 hours in the oven) and it saves on cleaning a bit because you can sauté in it as well - so the brisket got browned in the IP and I didn't need to clean a pan too.  During a real W30 I'll bang out three recipes in a row with just a quick rinse between them - so I'd do the brisket, rinse the pot, do a broccoli soup, rinse the pot, then do chicken broth or something all in just one day.  And you can buy tougher (cheaper) cuts of meat - I always get beef shank from our beef farmer instead of more expensive cuts because it comes out so good in the IP!  Honestly, best appliance (besides a stick blender) for eating paleo IMO.  Oh, and thanks to you... my husband now eats parsnips!  I couldn't believe it  He... requested... them.  I nearly fainted.  

Maybe your flights home will be delayed too... it is so cold here!  Never seems to work that way though does it ? 

@Dragonslayer Ok, really, we are the same person.  I've been having the peeing issue too!  I never made the connection to sugar.... Not that Robby would ever let me sleep through the night but it would at least be nice to make it from 8 (I mean, um, 10, like a real adult) until 3 or 4 when he gets up without getting up to pee!  My husband is actually the good cook in the family.  He used to cook all the time but now that I'm doing the stay at home mom thing it is all me for shopping, cooking, etc.  It was always nice to just come home and not have to think, there was just some healthy food there for me  

Day 3 has come and gone.  Got stuck at my in-laws in the early afternoon  (after eating breakfast on time for the first time in... a year) with ALL THE CHRISTMAS candy.  There was literally nothing compliant in the house (the only cooked meat was Christmas ham with sugar and all sorts of no-nos).  So I did eat fruit for lunch but still came home and had a real dinner - despite the fact that our fridge is now the garage because our refrigerator is 55 degrees.  Boo.  But hey, if its gotta be -10 I guess it might as well be now!  

 

[Guest]

We are all reading each other’s minds! @hmg1993 I’ve been wanting an instant pot for months and finally pushed purchase last night on amazon! I can’t wait! My friend at work who is allergic to every food imaginable eats basically paleo/just plain weird, but says she tried a Whole30 and the pot saved her life. She uses it 3-4 times a week now! I was explaining it to my fiancé who responded with “sounds like some weird space age stuff. Is it safe?”  I showed him a picture of a pressure cooker from 1890 and then he said “ok I guess it sounds cool then.” Really he just wants me to stop spending money, but this was just “necessary” (like everything else I buy of course... )

@littleg first, I’m definitely trying the stroganoff this week. Sounds so delicious. Second, the pee thing I’m certain at this point is the sugar. It got so much better when I did my whole60. Like completely went away by the end and I was sleeping like a baby. Everyone always said it was because I have a fast metabolism, but I don’t think that’s the reason. Third, my fiancé used to do all the cooking too! He is pretty much food network worthy, but now that he got his manager job this past summer, it’s been all me all the time too. I’m used to it now, but I wish we could split the shopping/cooking nights up a little more once he gets in the swing of things and has more time. Fourth, I’m confused, do you mean you ended up eating all the candy yesterday? Or you only ate fruit? 

Day 9 for me and yesterday/last night was a learning experience. I felt nauseous after breakfast all day and didn’t understand why. It was like a horrible hungover feeling, which led me to believe eating would help me feel better. But everytime I ate part of my salad or meat etc, I felt worse! Then I had an apple and my potatoes from lunch and didn’t feel worse. I didn’t realize it right then but I was definitely just having sugar/carb withdrawal and the classic symptoms of starting a Whole30, but I guess I’m my head I assumed that wasn’t it bc I haven’t had that nauseous feeling for that reason since like a year or two ago when I first started my slow sugar detox. Anyways, after work I went straight to the new market in town (that has all the goods so I don’t have to go to the city now!  But is very expensive so I’ll probably still make TJ/WF runs here and there) to get a kombucha. I figured that would help. Then all the sudden I got all the cravings and lost control for a bit. I could have stopped myself but just didn’t. I just wanted to feel better and new the snacky foods would do the trick. Not good behavior. I stayed technically Whole30 (kind of) but definitely spent the rest of the drive home eating a whole bag of sweet potato chips, then at home had an rx bar, a bag of apple chips, a bag of cacao coconut chunks, a banana, an apple, some leftover potatoes, and way way too many almonds drizzled with coconut butter, salt, and cinnamon. How I came up with that combo I have no idea, my binge mind was just on a roll, but it was dangerously good. Obviously feel not great this morning, but it’s definitely not as bad as a sugar binge by far. No soreness, no foggy head, just stomach upset and still very full feeling. 

Anyways, lesson learned. And if it happens again I’ll know better and hopefully be able to anticipate my response better. 

Hope everyone has a great New Years! There’s the smallest chance I’ll make it to see the east coast ball drop (2 hours ahead) but I doubt even that haha. I’ve never been into this holiday, minus the resolution part. I’ve always taken those pretty seriously and surprisingly stuck to most of them. Mine this year is obvious... finish my Whole30! And then keep going! 

 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer Nope, no candy  I should have taken pictures though - it was EVERYWHERE!  Bowls in the kitchen, dining room, living room, on the mail table... you know, just in case as one walks the 50 ft from the kitchen to the living room they need more candy - they have 4 options along the way. 

[Guest]

Ha sounds like my work scene lately. Good for you! Keep it going! 

[hmg1993]

Okay!  InstantPot for the win.  Can I ask what model you have/bought?  There's quite an array of choices on amazon and not sure what to opt for.  

I am excited to go into the new year with healthy intentions and great company thanks to this board.  Unlike previous years I am making resolutions that are kinder and more qualitative.  Typically mine would be lots of "lose 10lbs", "exercise 7 days a week" etc. etc. Sometimes from these resolutions I have developed healthier habits.  I don't exercise 7 days but i do get more than 12K steps a day and that feels good.  But more often than not I feel disappointed when the scales haven't budged or I am on the binging rollercoaster.   So, for 2018 it will be things like no weighing or counting calories (haven't done so since the brilliant steer by you all), read more books (forgot how much i like this), set better boundaries at work (they could consume me 24/7) and pursue healthy and fun hobbies.  Oh, and be kinder to me and others.  Plus I want to spend less and save more.  That will a major lifestyle change for me!

Wishing you a very happy new year.  We have a while to go with the time difference and are off to hike the lava hills!

[SugarcubeOD]

I just caught up on this thread and you guys are all so lovely to eachother!  I really enjoy reading this thread and hearing how you're working out how to manage struggles and celebrate victories!  I can't tag you guys in what I"m going to say because I forgot who said what someone said something about wine after work and switching for tea.  I can be (haven't had for a few weeks now) a big time binger and before Christmas I bought myself a really pretty tea latte mug from a potter here in town... cream colored with 18k gold dots.  It's so amazingly soft and fits perfectly in my hand that drinking a nice black tea with coconut milk out of it is one of my current greatest pleasures... If I feel like I want to go around the bend and binge, I make myself some tea in my teacup... I think it hits the same pleasure sensors in my brain as binging but doesn't feel disgusting after and it's much healthier... 

And about goal setting... I do it every year, call it my Journey Plan and try and get everything listed down that I want for the year, right down to 'brush teeth before bed'.  It's all divided up into categories and every year is a new chapter in the same leather notebook I have... this year, along with those 'tickable' goals are going to be thoughts about connection; something I have a very tough time with... I'm not calling them goals because working toward connection and a more grounded and feeling me cannot be a goal I can fail... so they're thoughts... I just wanted to share that because binging isn't about food, it's definitely about deeper things like power, control, feelings, connection...  and maybe this year is the year that we (collective we) figure out what that is and deal with it so that the food is entirely a symptom... 

I hope you all have a very happy new year and all the things you hope and dream are available to you in 2018. I'll be here for all of you for whatever you need

 

[Guest]

@SugarcubeOD very thoughtful and refreshing post. I too will be trying to work on similar goals. I’ve learned more and more each day/week/month why I binge and the deep down reasons for it. Yes I do have a sugar addiction, but beyond that is eating from stress, sadness, anxiety, and boredom. Those are my main triggers and I am going to try and write down my goals on how I want to better handle those feelings in 2018. I know I already have a tough year coming up with my moms Health going downhill, but it’s all the more reason to focus on how I will choose to respond to my feelings. Instead of hurting myself and turning to food, I will try and find things that actually make me feel better the next day so that I can keep my body and mind as healthy as possible. I know it won’t happen every time, and I know it will be an uphill battle, but being more aware of the reasons is a huge improvement and working towards new responses is the next chapter in recovery. 

Speaking of all this, I had another unfortunate response to my stress and sadness tonight, but I just didn’t try hard enough to use another technique because I was tired, on the phone hearing bad news, and just not focused on what I was putting in my mouth. Stayed Whole30, but very similar situation to last night except worse this time. Still learning and growing, and being kind to myself and saying it’s ok. The fact that I didn’t turn to ice cream and cookies is an improvement for me. And perfection is not realistic or my goal. Baby steps. Tomorrow is a new year and I plan on working to make it my strongest year ever. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

[hmg1993]

@SugarcubeOD  Love your perspective.  I think too that rituals like tea in a favorite cup really matter.  Because it's evidence of self care with binging being the opposite.  Your approach to goals is great too because too often we go for perfection and I know where that always ends.

@Dragonslayer  Not feasting on ice cream or cookies is a victory.  You're baby stepping your way into a great year.  Happy new year and here's to a great 2018!

Sending alohas to you and @littleg from our little perch up in the Maui hills.....

[Guest]

Happy 2018! It’s the dreaded day 10, the days when I struggle most (as seen already by my past 2 days of night binges), but I actually am not dreading any of it this time. It’s kind of ironic that it falls on the first day of this year. A new year and a new way to approach and get past day 10. With confidence and kindness this time. I couldn’t sleep much last night but spent the time thinking about my resolutions and found it very therapeutic to determine what my true and most important values are that I want to work on. As the book I’m reading states, we should live by our values, not by our feelings. Our feelings are not us. And a lot of them are actually the opposite of us. They just developed into a bad little habit and we have to learn to focus on what we truly want long term and not how we feel right this second. A good quote... “If you focus on ways to win the war, you will have more triumph in the battles.” 

Going off of Melissa’s “year of strong and bendy” on instagram, this will be My “Year of Strong and Balanced” Resolutions, divided into the areas I want to work on most:

1. Strength: Work on mental, physical, and emotional strength through confidence, self love, and movement. Get back into yoga as it is a good compliment to all the skiing, enjoy a hot cup of tea after work to wind down, and tell myself daily my intentions and why I know I can achieve my goals.

2. Balance: Practice maintaining a balanced lifestyle. This involves food, family, friends, work, play, sleep, social media, reading, writing, and traveling. Find balance through setting small daily goals, making weekly plans, following through, and working towards my ideal healthy and happy lifestyle. 

3. Health: Keep doing Whole30 and use it as a tool to help achieve 1 and 2. Stay active to help with positive mindset and fueling those endorphins. This will not be hard seeing as it is a requirement for my career . 

4. Self Love: Practice new ways of handling stress, anxiety, sadness, and boredom. Tea, reading, writing, breathing, skiing, meditation, yoga. Also, Remind myself of my values each week through journaling and ways I’m working towards recovery and improvement. Get back into writing your book and use it as a therapeutic tool and way to stay mindful and attentive of changes. (Did I tell you guys I’m writing a book? Started a long time ago but lost the drive about a year ago. It’s about my life. More details later.) 

5. Discipline: Be the change you want and know you can be. Don’t keep reliving days 1 through 10. Have the confidence and discipline to work towards exploring days 100 through 110!