5280sarah

Binge eating and re-starting Whole30

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@littleg you can totally do just one egg! I know you can. Sounds like you have been in a great place for a while, so don’t doubt yourself! And maybe you could buy an organic ketchup like Annie’s? Slightly better ingredients I think? I know the feeling though. I’ve been doing a bi-weekly event at work recently where we do free food giveaways and my boss straight up told me, “they aren’t ready for the healthy stuff. Just give them what you know they want.” So I’ve been in a similar shopping boat. 

As for me, it’s day 5 of my 2nd round of Whole30, and day 9 of my 30for30 challenge. I decided to just keep track of both since they are pretty different goal wise. I decided I’m not going to introduce beans yet (I was considering it before), I think I need one more month of strict Whole30, and I just have no desire to eat them. Doing really well with the 4 meals on plates so far. And I haven’t had any fruit, nuts, or potatoes either! It’s so much easier when in my head I know they just aren’t allowed at all. I plan to finish this 2nd Whole30 and then consider doing some small re-introductions for my next one, but I know my reset requires a lot longer than 30 (and even 60) days, so I won’t make any decisions until I really feel ready. Doing really well right now though so I’m feeling hopeful and strong! 

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Yeah.  But what I'm most curious about are the pushups!  I'm working on getting back to strict ones too!  I'm up to 3 in a row.  27 more to go!

About the eggs though - you know what, I don't really want ONE egg.  I want the binge.  So I'm going to just try not to do it... 

Also, do you have a good ketchup recipe?  I've been making my own that I actually think is really good (though not W30...).  But maybe for down the road?  1 6 oz can tomato paste, 1 can's worth of water, 1 tbsp maple syrup, 1 tbsp cider vinegar, onion powder, garlic powder, allspice, salt.  I don't measure the spices... maybe 1/4-1/2 tsp of onion and garlic and 1/8 allspice?  Simmer for a few minutes then jar.  Super easy and I think quite tasty!  We had some TJ ketchup around so I'll just put that out on Sunday.  But its the principle of it.  You get it, but not too many people do :)

 

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That recipe sounds great! I have made a similar one without the maple syrup and it did the job but I’m sure it’s much more “ketchupy” with the hint of sweet. I had a really great positive week. But unforunately let the dragons win last night. After 10 days I caved and had a compliant binge but ate fruit, dates, dried apples, way too much meat, and many more things. Feel terrible this morning and even after only 10 days, I significantly notice the effects of the sugar. Probably mostly from the dried fruit.I had/have cramps in my feet all night, heart palpitations, and lots of other weird and concerning symptoms. Lesson learned and this morning although I am pissed that I let the dragon win, I’m also proud that I went a whole 10 days and will continue on this path of working to not eat fruit nuts or potatoes at all and to only have my 4 meals on plates. Not expecting perfection. Just improvements, and I’m on that path so I’m staying positive and getting back on track today. Hope everyone had a good weekend! 

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Oh and the 30 for 30 challenge with exercises etc is going well! I can do 20 push-ups in a row now and then break before finishing the other 10. I can do 1 pull-up (pathetic!) but more if they are assisted on the machine at the gym. And my ab reps feel easier and easier every time! Handstand progression is slow but I’m trying to use some yoga moves to help with that. And I’m meditating much more often and it’s really helpful for me. That’s what I should have done that last night instead of going for the fridge. Lesson learned! 

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20 pushups!  Wow!  And don't know even just one pull up - they are hard!  I used to be able to do 5 strict in a row but not anymore :) I'm working my way back.  I'm using a band and can do 5 with a less supportive band than I started with.  By the end of the summer I'd like to back to a few strict ones!  What kind of handstand are you working towards?  Just a static one - like a yoga one?  

Bummer about the fruit binge last night.  I get crazy leg cramps too when I overdo sugar - even natural sugar - like grapes for dinner (you know, 2 lbs of grapes...).  I never knew why.  Any ideas?  And I get them in weird places - like my peroneus which doesn't actually allow you to stretch it because it pretty much runs along your fibula and doesn't really cross a joint with much movement potential (it everts the foot)... and MAN does that hurt.  

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Im trying yoga style handstands as well as just regular. Just trying to build my arm and core strength anyway I can. I was doing a lot of yoga head/shoulder stands, but got a horrible pain in my neck for like a week and couldnt turn to either side, so I took a break for a few days. All I know about the sugar is that when you over do it, the excess floods to your blood cells and gets filled all over your body because it has no where else to go and cant be processed by your organs. No idea why the pain happens in certain areas. I always get it in my neck, chest, and legs. No idea why. 

Super bummed because I find myself back at a Day 1 tomorrow. For some reason yesterday, after 42 days of success, I let my dragon totally take over again and when someone offered me a cookie yesterday, I took it and let myself think, "I can handle this now. I deserve it." Well that was the worst decision ever. I was already struggling after my fruit binge from the day before, and I just caved without even stopping to think about it. The cookie led to a total panicked craving afterwards and i ended up having a full on binge of all things sugar and gluten, not only yesterday, but then continued into today! So upset that I let my own brain trick me so easily after doing so well for so long. I know I will now feel even worse tomorrow, but I have spent a lot of time working through my thoughts, why I did it, journaling about my goals from tomorrow on, and what I need to do now to get on track, so I am hopeful that although I know tomorrow will suck, I will get through it. I'm just looking at it as a learning experience, knowing that I am still not even close to being able to enjoy sugary treats in moderation yet. Mentally I still have a lot of work to do, and I can't let my dragon trick me when I am starting to feel good. So now after making it 42 days, my next goal is to go 66 days, which as I have mentioned before is the time it takes for a habit to technically "set in." Same plan as before, and totally bummed that I am back at a Day 1, but I know I can progress even further now, and I am staying positive. 

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@Dragonslayer  You can so do this.  You're stronger than ever before and Day 66 will be here before you know it.  Focus on how good you will feel when you put the sugar cravings in the rear view mirror.  I have had to nix dried fruit from my life because it's such a dragon alarm for me.  Can't go there although i am tempted a lot.  

 

@littleg  I hadn't put together the whole sugar cramp thing before you mentioned it but I did used to get terrible leg cramps, particularly when in the grip of the binge cycle. Now I know.  Thank you 

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@Dragonslayer Hope you've found your grove again!

@hmg1993 Haven't heard much from you lately - hope things are going ok :)

Just popping in.  Things are going ok.  I'm a little nervous for tomorrow.  All the food at family gathering... bowls of jelly beans, chocolates, etc just sitting around waiting to be eaten - not to mention all the baked goods, chips, dips, etc.  I wish I had a family where they were like "hey, its a big holiday - lets go hiking! skiing! play flag football!".  Do those families exist?  

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@littleg I think those families are only in the movies haha! I immediately thought of the football scene in wedding crashers. I’m not worried about you at all! You got this. You’ve been doing so well. No reason to be nervous. That’s just the old you trying to poke it’s head out. Stay strong and confident in your decisions! 

I had 3 days of unfortunate bingeing but now I find myself on day 3 of Whole30 again. I can still feel the effects of  all the sugar, gluten, etc but I’m staying Strong. It’s exactly 12 weeks until the wedding and for some reason knowing that number is really keeping me focused right now on getting back on track and losing some of this extra weight. Hoping the ridiculous cravings end soon bc it’s been a brutal 3 days so far, but I know it will get better. Working out has helped, and I’m stocked up on a bunch of good food at home so I have no excuses! It’s amazinf how just 3 days off track can throw my mind back into the bad habits, but I’m just trying to remind myself it’s the habit talking and not my true self. Looking forward to the Easter candy being gone from work and hopeful that this will be a good week! 

 

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Happy weekend everyone!  I'm doing OK following my own version of W30 which is basically 80 percent rules plus a little dairy and oats and quinoa.  So far so good but the major focus now is trying to lose the weight I gained from all of the back and forth binging.  I don't know if you find this but every time is harder because I think somehow your metabolism gets messed up.  Do you think that's right or just theory? Anyway, I slog on because I know that for sure the alternative doesn't work!  Done that.  Hope you all have a lovely Easter or passover or whatever you celebrate.....

 

Dreaming about hot cross buns.  shan't have them though!

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Made it :) Enjoyed a pretty big glass of wine (the "small plate" thing is my go to for alcohol too... and it doesn't work - too many refills :) So yesterday I got a big glass, filled it 75% of the way (probably 6-8 oz) and drank that).  Played with the kiddos and just avoided the food.  Got some snarky comments for saying no to giving the baby jello jigglers in the shape of eggs (WHY DO PEOPLE THINK 15 MONTH OLDS NEED RED #40, BLUE # 1, YELLOW #6 AND SUGAR?!) but besides that it was a lovely Easter dinner.  Well that isn't entirely true - I was pretty pissed off about the snarky comments so maybe I ended up in a little bit of a bad mood... ;)

I hope both of you find some success with some weight loss - I've always found that just really sticking to the W30 is what does it - not just the "rules" but the recommendations - meal 1 early and substantial, no snacking, no after dinner "oh its mango and coconut milk and raisins" shit... then the weight comes off.  Never much, but I do usually find myself happy with the results because the body shape changes always seem more substantial than the number on the scale.

I think this is it for candy focused holidays for a while right...?  I can't even imagine what the stores will put into the seasonal aisle now?  Marshmallows I guess for smores?  

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@littleg, totally agree with the not into giving kids red #40, ETC. So messed up. I worry if I become a parent I will be way too obsessive about not exposing my child to stuff like that, but maybe thats not a bad thing? i dunno, moderation is good for them to learn I guess, but that's gonna be something I know I will struggle with.  Glad you made it through the day successfully! 

I've been doing ok, but not great. Finished my first whole30 and then went off the wagon a bit. I had a bad week of bingeing last week, but have once again (hopefully) gotten back on track now. I am trying something new with this whole30. I find I think a lot of the time I end of caving or breaking my whole30 and spiraling into a binge is because of my "all or nothing" mindset. I panic in the tough times and if I have even one small slip, I immediately go into the mode of "ugh I failed again. well now i should just binge." So this time around, although it is not in the essence of a true whole30, I am adding in a new rule. I call it the "It Never Happened Rule." I definitely do not plan on cheating or slipping at all still, BUT, if a "make or break" situation arises and I end up making the unfortunate choice to eat something not compliant, instead of thinking "thats it, i have to start over, i might as well just go crazy now", I will instead instate a 3 bite rule. If I am able to stop eating with 3 or less bites of whatever the food is, then I will try and regain mental control, get back on track, and pretend that the slip "never happened." I will then continue on with whole30 life for the day (hopefully) and try to eliminate the all or nothing behavior. I haven't had a chance to test this out yet, which is good, and i am only planning on using it if i really feel a "failure" coming on, but I just figure it may help change by binge behavior and mental attitude a bit. And for me, even if the whole 30 ends up having a few slips, in my recovery right now, that would be a huge step in the right direction, and much better than 6 days of perfect whole30 with 1 day of terrible bingeing every week. So Im gonna give it a try and see how it goes. Ill let you know, but hopefully I don't have to test this out for a long time! 

 

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@Dragonslayer  As much as I think the integrity of a W30 and all 30 is important,  I do think it's called W30 for a reason in that we're not supposed to go beyond 30 days unless of course we feel like we need the extra days to address cravings.  What I have observed is that after a "perfect" W90 or so,  I got into a cycle of 4 "good days" and then binge .. back and forth.  My view now is that the binges were addressing the restrictions and stress of  meeting the program requirements.  I've relaxed things now to my own rules that enable a little diary (greek yogurt, some cheese), Oatmeal, quinoa, Almond Milk, and overall less label watching.  I still say no to sugar, wheat and nuts (the latter is just because it's zero brakes).  I also gave myself a wine allowance of three glasses a week, which I have yet to use any of but mentally having it there if i want to have a drink with a friend is so much better than feeling that I can't.  This approach seems more doable for me right now and is definitely controlling the binges because I don't have that all or nothing mindset......

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@Dragonslayer That is an interesting idea.  I've got the same issue... sometimes I keep binge eating just because I started... not because I really want to keep going!  How stupid is that?!  But the "oh, I'll be good tomorrow" means I have to cram it all in.  Let us know how it goes.  

@hmg1993 Sounds like you've got a good plan in place.  Life is just easier with wine and cheese :)  I've been finding that it is easier lately to say no to the stuff I really don't agree with (mostly processed foods) because I truly think they are not compatible with health.  But it really isn't a good way to live to say no to the entire W30 list all the time.  I think coming up with rules that really matter to us are the key in the long run.  Like "I don't eat food coloring" or "refined sugar" or "nuts" or whatever.  

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