Binge eating and re-starting Whole30

[littleg]

@hmg1993 Oh vacation... !  is it a relaxing destination or an activity destination?  

@Dragonslayer yeah for a good day.  Hopefully they will start stacking up soon!  Unfortunately though, despite doing so well with that W60 and then afterwords (I didn't mention that then my mom passed away unexpectedly... and I totally did NOT eat my way through that, despite living out of hotels and traveling all the time), I'm back in a struggling point.  I guess what I have come to realize though, is that this is an addiction, so I hate myself a little less these days for giving in to the urges.  Before I really thought of myself as weak when I did.  I have learned so much from this thread though and I have certainly not given in to urges more in these last few months then ever before because of the ways of thinking I've learned on here.  So thanks ladies  

Poop is a little behind schedule this morning... I hear grunting so I better go

[Guest]

@hmg1993 have such a fun and relaxing vacation! Where are you going? And prebiotics are supposed to be eaten as a good compliment with probiotics because they help them digest and work more effectively (something like that, I read a long time ago can’t remember) but some good pre-foods are jicama, onions, garlic, asparagus, chicory root (never had), and Jerusalem artichoke (don’t think I’ve ever had). 

@littleg it’s amazing despite the insane list of hardships you have gone through in the past few years that you are still on here working towards recovering and not giving in. You obviously have a very strong and determined mind, which can only get stronger over time if you continue to work on all these things. You are an inspiration to me especially knowing that you got through such depressing periods and came out stronger. And tell the little man I feel his pain. I always get irregular a few days in to jumping back on the Whole30 train . 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer and @littleg. I think being kind and gentle to ourselves is half the battle.  I was about to beat myself up today because I had way too many nuts.  But then I thought, I get up at 4, exercise, head to office and 6 and get home at 8.  Long and stressful days and today more so with lots of people issues.  So yes, I ate my body weight in almonds but bite me.  NBG!  I won't tomorrow.  

I'm heading to Hawaii on vacation this weekend.  I feel so lucky to be able to go.  Lots of hiking ahead.  And I will feast on prebiotics!  Its so funny but the foods listed are my favorites (other than garlic, ick).

[Guest]

@hmg1993 Hawaii im soooo jealous! total opposite of my upcoming week... dropping to highs in the single digits here! Enjoy the beautiful scenery and have an amazing time. Hawaii is such an incredible place. I DO NOT recommend the "spam wasubi" (spam sushi)... dont know if you have been to hawaii before but spam is EVERYWHERE. But maybe its just me... i think its disgusting. and very not whole30 haha. 

Trying to stay mindful and accountable tonight. I am not sure how I feel about my situation right now so I'll ask advice... My fiance sprung an unexpected "we are going to dinner at friends house tonight." I normally need some time to mentally prepare for these social situations, especially with my anxiety (non food related as well.) I immediately panicked because I had another great day today and don't want to bring any negative or risky eating situations into my life right now. He told me they were having a taco night, and I knew with my level of tiredness and hunger on the way home that it would not go well. I told him I was way too exhausted and needed to stay home. As soon as he left I made a huge meal of everything I was craving. Leftover frittata, a sweet potato with ghee, and a spinach salad with tomatoes, onions, and ranch dressing. I was thinking the whole time (and still am) that maybe I did the wrong thing here. I don't want to turn into someone who can never handle social situations like that. Maybe I should have gone and practiced staying in control and trying to pick options that are closest to my plan? My guilt started making me feel anxious, which then caused a sweet craving. I didn't even think about it and grabbed an apple to eat. Afterwards, I realized I was on the path to losing control, because my dinner was already way huge and I am definitely full. I stopped, told myself "what is the point of not going if you are just going to end up bingeing here anyways?!" I took some breaths and sat down to type this. I'm also having some lavender tea. At the moment, I feel like this was the best decision for me, and I am also practicing controlling myself right now bc being home alone is always a trigger too. So I don't feel like I would rather be there at all, but I have this guilt and don't want to feel like I have to turn into a hermit. But honestly, hermit life for the next month is really what I want! I am not a super social person as it is, definitely a home body, and get major social anxiety, but im wondering if working on that issue would help me in situations where it causes my triggers and cravings. 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer Go with what feels right to you.  I totally get the hermit thing but sometimes you have to be selfish to look after you.  At the same time though you do want to test your boundaries so that you're more comfortable with going beyond the safety zone.  But that only comes with time.  I haven't pulled it off yet.  Roger that on the spam.  I am dreaming of the pineapples!  Hope staying home means a quiet evening for you.  Do you like to take baths? Maybe a lavender bath?

[Guest]

Well now I feel like I should have gone, bc the night ended up being not so stellar. Stayed strong for a while, but then got tired and got all the cravings while watching food network. That was obviously a bad channel to pick but it’s my fav! Ate all the (Whole30 only) things, and then went to bed full and wondering why I had just given in when I could have Totally and probably fairly easily controlled myself. I’m happy I only ate Whole30, but my stomach is still a nauscious wreck this morning. Maybe next time I’ll choose to go. At least being around my fiancé would have helped me make better non bingy choices. Oh well. Lesson learned! It’s  my Friday today (woo hoo!) and my parents get into town tomorrow morning for a week. Should be great family time and I’m hoping getting to see and spend time with my mom helps clear my head a little and reduce my stress. 

Today I have nothing left in the fridge (bc I ate it all last night! ) but I’m cooking a sheet pan of leftover Brussels, green beans, and my rutabaga that I’ve never tried before work right now. Random assortment but I’ll just pour some mayo dressing all over to make it delicious Because... mayo on everything. Also have a chicken thigh, avocado, and then some venison green Chile and eggs for breakfast. 

Hope everyone has a great day! 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer If you were an alcoholic would you feel bad saying to your fiancé that you'd rather skip the bar tonight?  That is the way I think about these situations.  Sometimes you know in your gut that you can handle it and sometimes you know that you can't (tired, hungry, stressed, cookie exchange party, whatever ).   Next time stay off of Food TV.  Geez, talk about self flagellation!  At least watch the house flipping show  

So I need some advice.  I mentioned on here I've been having some mild/mod non resolving pain for almost 2 months now.  It is muscular/tendon like pain (you know the way you feel sort of tight after a long hike/run... that is how I feel all the time).  I was doing some reading about the AIP protocol and I'm wondering if I should eliminate the two biggies on the list - eggs and nightshades.  I eat up to 6 eggs some days (all pasture raised, but still) and probably 1-2 large peppers a day.  I've been not having white potatoes much these days but we had pretty much given up sweet potatoes for white potatoes about year ago.  And don't get me started on tomatoes.  I'll eat a whole pint as a snack.  Anyway, lots of nightshades.  Lots of eggs.  Honestly, nightshades I think I could do, there are other veggies but losing eggs means practically no condiments.  No mayo (AAAAH!), no dressings that are emulsified... I was thinking of trying 7 days to see if I felt *any* different.  And then maybe try another 7 if I think I could.  But, lord knows restrictive meal plans are not good for binge eaters.  What do you guys think?

And on this topic - either of you have any AIP recipes you've tried and liked?  Here is what I ate today:

last of the leftover turkey, sautéed broccoli, half a big avocado

can of smoked oysters over arugula with caramelized onions, sweet potato with some coconut butter (<--- all you @Dragonslayer, I'd never tried that)

So... not the most appetizing.  I already miss mayo.

I stocked up on grassfed beef and liver at the store, got a bunch of tins of oysters and may go back to the store to see if the beef heart is still there... I am going to make some gelatin gummies too.  Basically I'm going to try going totally nutrient dense to see if it helps with this chronic pain.

[hmg1993]

@littleg I don't know much about AIP but I have seen some really good recipes so will ponder and share when I am stationed on the Lanai!  I can't imagine life without eggs though so I am likely not your best cheerleader.  I also wonder if you're lacking a vitamin or something?  I will read more about it before I opine further,  I have never tried Coconut butter but clearly need to try.  I love smoked oysters but have never had a raw one.  Have you?  Just doesn't appeal!

 

How are you feeling @Dragonslayer?

[Guest]

@littleg I've done a lot of reading about AIP, as I have had some strange symptoms as well. I have been too afraid to try the AIP diet bc I cant imagine not eating eggs, peppers, potatoes, etc, but I too am curious if it would help me as well. I know for sure I do not respond well to tomatoes, and I've read those are usually the key vegetable you want to cut out. Peppers are supposed to be the one veggie you can try to keep in your diet, and I've also read that eggplant is just as "bad" as tomatoes. I tried cutting out only tomatoes for a while and actually did notice a difference. When I had them for the first time after 2 weeks, holy moly it was so obvious. And eggs I have read and confirmed for me that I don't have the symptoms as much when the yolks are cooked all the way through. hard boiled and scrambled are apparently better than runny. No idea why. So maybe try those small changes first and see if anything changes? I have a feeling you are right about it though, with the pain you are describing. Sounds like its something in your diet. Also just from going so long without dairy and then bingeing on ice cream etc lately, I learned that the symptoms are also bad with cheese and milk/yogurt for me. I know you eat some cheeses, so maybe try going without that for a week too. But yeah, the thought of AIP seems so insanely hard. Whole30 is hard enough. 

@hmg1993 I'm ok but could be better. I cracked again today. We literally had a feast of free baked goods, grilled cheese, chocolate bars, and pizza all donated to us from a local restaurant and it was just sitting on the tables everywhere I went today. It's that time of the month for me and that did not make my craving situation any easier at all. (But its also no excuse.) I totally lost control and ate all the things. Called my fiance and told him, and then stopped, but at that point I had already been bingeing for hours. I went 5 days without sugar/refined foods though, so I guess its a small victory. My parents come tomorrow and we will be cooking and eating every meal together, so I know I will be much more in control for at least the week they are here. I do still believe though that trying to eat some "treats" here and there is just not what will ever work for me. Ive always been an all or nothing type, and I need clear and defined rules, in all areas of life, so I think the absolutely no sugar (aka whole30 or very close to it) is what is best for me for at least the future until I get to a next level of recovery. I like to tell myself on these tough days "well maybe you can handle it this time. Try just having one and then stop. It could be a good practice." Thats BS though and just my dragon tricking me. Never in my life has 1 cookie been enough for me. Even as a child. I am just going to keep trying every day until hopefully the days of good choices start getting longer and longer. I do feel like my mind is slowly coming out of my foggy funk from the past few weeks, so maybe time with my parents (and 4 days off in a row- so excited!) will be a good way to clear my head and help build my confidence and mental strength for when I get back to work. 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer  Don't think of it as cracking.  I would also be unable to resist tables laden with goodies.  It's really difficult and particularly if you have cravings, are tired and PMSy.  I am with you on the one cookie is never enough.  I just can't do it where sugar is concerned.  Maybe that will change one day but not now.  I hope you have a lovely time with your family and that you are able to relax.

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer This time of year is so hard!  I wish I had something profound to say, but I live it too and there just isn't anything to make this time of year any easier.  Besides maybe kombucha  Fill yourself up with expensive fermented bubbles

I caved last night too... I had... mayo.  I just couldn't stop myself  If you don't mind me asking - what are your symptoms to these kinds of foods?  I was convinced a few months ago I was having a problem with white potatoes and I was eating a lot for the resistant starch because after the baby my body decided it no longer felt like pooping and when it did decide to let go, well, I'll spare you the details, but it looked like a massacre in the bathroom :/  So LOTS of cooked and cooled potatoes.  For months.  Every day.  Anyway, I don't even remember anymore what I thought was wrong (I have a finger that randomly swells up sometimes, maybe it was that?) but nothing changed.  And when I added them back in, nothing changed.  Despite doing a few W30s I've never actually done the reintroduction... so maybe I just don't know how to look for subtle changes?  

Also, I recently had blood work done and my inflammatory markers are all really low.  I read that Hashimotos won't be picked up with CRP or Sed Rate but I figure if I were eating a food that were really problematic for me my labs would show some kind of disturbance?  I'm not sure.  

So, I made pate yesterday.  It came out (I can't believe I'm going to say this) Good.  Like good good.  Like I'd eat it even if it weren't good for me.  https://autoimmunewellness.com/bacon-beef-liver-pate-with-rosemary-and-thyme/

@hmg1993 Have a WONDERFUL trip.  Hawaii is on our bucket list - maybe in 5 more years for our 10th anniversary and Robby is old enough to leave behind... so take notes and give me some suggestions!  

[Guest]

@littleg my brothers name is Robby! More in common . So my symptoms have changed over the last 2 years, and I also have never properly re- introduced so I don’t know the subtle things to look for either, with the exception of gluten/dairy and tomatoes. Symptoms started out with numbness and tingling in my fingers for a few hours every morning. Also, achy and swollen joints constantly, constipation/diarrhea issues everyday, malabsorption (TMI but I would poop out Whole Foods that weren’t digested at all constantly), and the most annoying symptom was always after i would exercise, I would get so sick/nauscious and it would last for days... until I binged. And then it would go away. (Serious Mind F**k there!) After my successful whole60, I ate dairy, and all the symptoms came back. Some immediately, others after a week or so. But I learned the exercise thing was very much bc of dairy. Also sugar related though possibly, bc a nutritionist told me it could also be my stomach acid build up and oxygen released during exercise, and when you have too much candida or other bacteria, it hates the oxygen and wants to feed off sugar... hence the binges helped. (My food of choice was always ice cream back then). 

The soreness and achy joints and muscles is from the gluten for me too. It’s just become obvious recently bc I went a really long time (maybe 4 months) without gluten, and now that I’ve been eating it recently for about a month, I’m sore and In pain every day. 

The tomatoes is more a digestive issue. When I reintroduced those after 2 weeks, I had horrible cramps, stomach pain, weird gurgling, constipation, and just overall very uncomfortable for hours. Peppers seem to be fine though. My tingling went away when I started eating more real foods with nutrients and less pretzels and Diet Coke (I used to live off both). So that could have been just needing more vitamins etc. not sure. But I’ve always had issues in the bathroom and thought it was IBS or other stuff, but after my whole60 and taking a new probiotic (Garden of Life Dr Formulated One Women’s Daily), it was a total game changer. I just became more aware of what foods I thought were causing issues during the end of the whole60, and I felt like eggs and tomatoes were not responding well with me. Now that I’ve been off the whole60 train, it’s hard to pinpoint anything, but I’m hoping to get back on it and work to find out what the foods truly are. So I too am still in the dark, but have a feeling there are certain foods I need to test out eventually eliminating. 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer Thanks.  Funny about Robby!  And you'll never guess what I used to live off... pretzels and Coke Zero.  I was a teacher at the time and the kids even made fun of all the 2L bottles gathered in my giant Hefty bag that I would use to bring them back for my 5 cent deposit.  When I met my husband I was subsisting on those ice-cream dots, fat free Reddi Whip, Caramello bars and these giant Reese's family size bars.  It makes me laugh to even think back to that!  Geez.  Interestingly, I did binge, but not as bad back then.  

 

Anyway, thanks for the info.  I've never noticed anything as extreme as that.  Definitely pooped out whole, undigested foods from time to time (have you ever been to a Hibachi restaurant - they always used to have birthday parties there when I was a teenager - anyway, even back then something about the oil there (maybe) went through my system in an hour).  So I have experienced for sure THIS IS NOT OK FOR ME TO EAT but never consistently like it sounds you have.  I really should do a W30 and then do a real reintroduction.  But what if it were eggs...?

[Guest]

I was also a teacher during that time! Crazy! My candy of choice was butterfingers and sour patch kids. And fat free wheat thins with fat free cream cheese, corn flakes with honey, and anything dipped in reduced fat peanut butter. (All sound so gross now looking back on that time!) I really should do a proper reintroduction too. All I want (for Xmas ) is to stick to the strict mindset of Whole30. I know it’s not working for me recently, but I just want a full clean 30 days (plus more probably) and I am almost positive I can’t do that successfully without the strict rules. In 2 days my wedding will be exactly 6 months away, and I’ve promised myself since I set the date that by then I will be in a better place where I won’t have to stress or care about what I’m eating on my special day, bc that should be the last thing on my mind. I feel like the 6 month goal of some kind of improvements is a good idea, but I can’t decide how to structure it to be successful. Also although I’m truly not worried about what my body weight is, I have gained 20 pounds in the past few months and I would like to be at my regular natural weight that I have been at for years In my dress. So there’s that too. I’m gonna talk it out with my mom and maybe we can make a plan together, bc she’s still trying to develop a new Healthy eating plan for chemo too. Any suggestions welcome though. I’ve never been one to “crash diet” or anything, so I’m not doing that just to fit into a dress, but I just want to feel my best, be at my Healthy natural size, and be sugar free and have tiger blood for my day! That’s truly what I want the most, so I figure that’s what I should be working towards from now on. Regardless of whether I seem to be able to stick to it right now. It’s all in my head.

As my habit book says (and I believe is so true), change means being responsible. But break down the word... Response-Able. I am able to choose my response to cravings, etc. and I need to choose to respond to my VALUES and not my FEELINGS. Feelings are the habits, values are the real me. It also talks about how when you are trying to develop new habits, you should “begin with the end in mind.” There is a chapter where it makes you envision going to your own funeral in 3 years and makes you write down all the characteristics and things you would hope your friends and family speak about remembering you by. And then everyday practice trying to live by those qualities. I think I am going to try and do that, but instead of “the end” being my funeral in 3 years, I’m going to think of it as “the end of this stage of my recovery” in 6 months at my wedding. Maybe it will help me be more proactive and I will write down the way I want everyone to see me and how I want to see myself on that day... just overflowing with tiger blood and confidence. 

Anyways, ranting again. But that’s what I want, so that’s what I’m continuing to work towards. I just need to figure out a plan.

[Guest]

Also @littleg there’s an egg less mayo recipe in the Whole30 cookbook. Ever tried it? 

[hmg1993]

@littleg and @Dragonslayer  I've tried the mayo made with flax and it's good!  Challenge accepted @littleg on Hawaii!.  Hope you both had a good day.  The symptoms you describe sound very familiar.  I've had intestinal distress for so long it's normal!  And the W30 does make it better but not 100%.  Maybe i need to read about AIP too!  

Top of my reading list for vacation is the seven habits of highly effective people.  On it!

[Guest]

Good morning! Had a long talk with my fiancé yesterday. And a real slap in the face sort of moment. He told me he thinks I need to go back to strict Whole30. This coming from the guy who is always so supportive, BUT has never once told me anything like that. Normally it’s “I just don’t understand why you are doing this or that, but I’ll support whatever you do.” We talked for a while about everything in our lives lately and I could sense his true concern. It was a very honest talk on both ends and he wants to play a very proactive role in helping me now. So he’s going gluten free again, and said he will eat only Whole30 in the house with me. I think hearing from the person I love the most and who knows me the best that he thinks this is best for me was a necessary reassurance right now. We discussed all the reasons it’s crucial for me right now, and I wrote out a plan for the next 6 months. So after a long day of talking, mentally prepping, planning, and having what felt like good “closure”, I’m going to attempt Whole30 again starting today. I’ve got the support of my fiancé, my dad, and brother (we talked too), and I feel like I have a good team to help me now. Yesterday I got my very favorite homemade cookie ice cream sandwich from a local shop, took a picture, enjoyed every bite slowly, and the whole time thought this is the last bites of sugar and junk food I will have for a VERY long time. It felt good and very right this time. We cleared out the apartment of all tempting foods, wrote some meal plans, and Everything feels more real and more purposeful now. Im not going to say “this is really the last time I restart”, but it definitely feels different today than the last few times I’ve tried. Im going to tell everyone at work, put it on social media, and do everything possible so people around me know my intentions and keep me accountable. I’m honestly excited today, which is not how I felt the last few times I tried. Before it was more of a “I HAVE to do this” and now it’s a WANTing feeling. So here I go again!

Today: Mexican veggie scramble, steak salad, leftover veggie and sweet potato hash, and then not sure dinner yet. (Parents still in town, maybe a quick sheet pan meal when I get home from work.) 

hope everyone has a great holiday! 

[littleg]

@Dragonslayer Sounds like you've got the second best (or at least tied with @hmg1993) partner out there.  I've got dibs on the best   Sounds like you've got a different mindset now and lots of support from him so I hope you get your groove going for this soon!  I can't wait to see you post about day 11 or - make it over that 1 week hump!  

Hubs and I were thinking the same but just a little down the road.  We will hopefully be moving soon (the work on the new house is taking longer than we thought it would) and we both want to shape up a bit.  He still hasn't lost the baby weight  The new house has a detached barn/garage and 1/3 of it will be a workout space so we are hoping that he can get into a schedule with the baby to start working out again (he hasn't worked out in almost a year now), the new house is also 15 min from a grocery store so no more 6 PM grape runs for me! and lastly we are going to try to start doing family dinners (so baby will have to go down after we all eat rather than before hubs and I eat) once we get there so I'll have to go do something after dinner rather than just continue to graze.  Seems like totally wishful thinking that a change like this will miraculously change my patterns, but it may help   Years ago he was really successful with a W30 and lost 25 lbs.  He has done one more since then and lost about 10-12 and a few 7-14 day ones with minimal weight loss so he is a little frustrated that he can't replicate that first one.  The only difference is white potatoes are now ok but I'm not sure that could make the difference.  We got Mark Sisson's Keto book because I thought some really quick weight loss for him might be a good motivator and also help him metabolically a little.  He puts on the most dangerous kind of fat distribution (all visceral) and is a pretty big beer drinker so I'm not so sure his liver is in the best shape... so part of me hopes he can try it for a metabolic "clean up".  But, gosh, it is so hard to cut out carbs!  

Anyway, you guys will be half way through and @hmg1993 will be on day 50 or so by the time we start but wouldn't it be great to all start 2018 feeling really good about our choices?!

[Guest]

@littleg yes it would feel so great to start the new year already feeling good! I’m at work taking a break and it’s already so different in my head. Today people brought in peanut butter brittle, muffins, donuts, cookies, AND chocolate. It was almost unbelievable how much food there is. But Im not phased at all today. I don’t want it and have no desire (at least so far) to even think about it. Much better than everyday this past week. Hopefully i keep a strong mind all through the New Years treats too! 

And sounds like a great plan for you and hubs. Having support at home is so helpful. And I think your new ideas sound great. Changes are always good for the mind and body I think. 

@hmg1993 I hope you are having an amazing time in Hawaii! It’s dumping snow here and I’m freezing thinking about you and your pineapples on the beach 

[hmg1993]

Alas I have been stuck on the tarmac for five hours and will miss connection to Maui. But making the best of it and heading to la today in hopes we will get out tomorrow. Managed not to eat my stress so consider that a minor win!

[Guest]

Oh no! That sucks @hmg1993. Definitely a win! Eating will not put you on the beach. Just find the good in it all and don’t stress... it’s vacation! At least you aren’t at work! 

[hmg1993]

Greetings from half way there!  I am so ready to start 2018 in a healthy zone and so sign me up to keep on chugging with you.  My goal for next year is to transition to where we started around setting my own food freedom rules and shaking up my exercise routine more.  I want to build more muscle and think the classes I do aren't getting me there.  Also I may need to lean into my least favorite thing .... cardio.  Has anyone done spin?!  I tried it once and thought i was going to stroke out.....!

[littleg]

@hmg1993 I hope by the time you read this you are on a beach with your pineapples!  Do you read NomNomPaleo - she goes to Hawaii a lot and has lots of posts about eating paleo-ish on the Islands!  In terms of exercise... I think for bodycomp changes lifting is the way to go.  Chronic cardio isn't good for weight loss (there are now studies supporting this) - so unless you *love* spin classes they probably aren't the best for helping you meet your goals.  HIIT, lots of natural movement (walking, chore like activity, etc) and weights are probably the best thing for changing the actual look of your body.  

@Dragonslayer We are having our first white Christmas here for a long time!  5" or so on the ground right now.  Probably nothing exciting for you though - it is always white where you are

Have a Merry Christmas ladies!  

[Guest]

Merry Christmas from the hospital in Denver. My mom went downhill quick after arriving in the mountains, and we had a good scare yesterday, but she’s doing much better now that we are back at a lower altitude and good hospital in Denver. Haven’t thought much about myself or food until this afternoon, but Im struggling now. She’s been sleeping almost all day and I’ve just been sitting here alone while family is out for a bit, running off no sleep and cravings hit hard. They actually have some ok options here in the cafeteria but I also threw some emergency food in my bag before we left in case. I’ve surprisingly only wanted the healthiest foods all day, but I still have the urge to overeat right now. I know it’s all the stress and exhaustion hitting me, but don’t want to use that as an excuse. There’s a muffin yelling at me from across the room, but I’m not letting myself look at it. I’ve been eating all the snacks I brought (nuts, guac, flax seed crackers), way too many oven roasted sweet potato fries, too many pieces of fruit, and my regular breakfast and lunch. I stopped before going downstairs for more to write this post and try to snap out of this little moment. After watching her suffering and seeing the pain that her and everyone else in the hospital is going through, I am very much aware of the fact/reminder that I need to stay strong and be kind and care for my body. I know I won’t break Whole 30 today but just want to stop eating so I don’t get to the point of sickness and learn to stop and recognize my behavior and make a change. I’m planning on trying to get some better sleep tonight and I’ve ruined my Xmas dinner but I doubt it would be a very special one anyways. 

So just here to stay accountable and share my thoughts for a minute. Hope everyone had a great day and got lots of lovely family time. Although this is not the ideal place to be, it’s actually been an amazing hospital crew and good to just have our family all together. 

Not sure what the next week or so will bring but I’ll be staying focused and doing everything possible to eat Whole30 so I am clear headed, strong, and healing myself.

 

[hmg1993]

@Dragonslayer thinking of you and sending hugs. You’re so strong!

Still not on Maui. Flight was cancelled yesterday and today we got half way there only for flight to turn around back to airport because of technical issue. Good news is too tired to overeat!