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Binge eating and re-starting Whole30


5280sarah

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@littleg  I will ask.  I know she did Kegels to beat the band and that it did resolve itself but took about six-eight months before she felt back to normal.  On it.  I hate to fly which is funny as I have to travel a ton for work.  I try not to drink myself through it but sometimes it's the only thing that will calm me down.  I don't want to take anything.  I keep thinking of that scene from Bridesmaids ... !

 

@Dragonslayer I hope your mom (and dad) is feeling better and that you're getting a little time to relax.  I read an amazing book on vacation that I highly recommend .. The comet seekers .  Lovely story!

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@hmg1993 woah that blueberry salmon... 100% trying that tonight. My mom thinks it sounds gross but she’s become the most picky eater in the world so I’ll call this some self care and eat what I want and make 2 meals tonight. 

Rough couple of days on my end. Lost sight of taking care of myself and was totally consumed with my mom for a bit, which is fine bc it was needed, but today I will try to do a little more for me. Just trying to find the balance. It’s a learning process. Not putting the Whole30 pressure on myself, but still trying when I can to eat as clean as possible. Will start the official count on Thursday when I leave. My dad and I discussed getting a home/nurse aide bc after being here I’ve learned it’s simply necessary at this point. He agreed, which took a huge weight and stress off me all the sudden, knowing he won’t have to be left to do all this by himself when I’m gone. I have moments where I think “I just can’t leave” but then I realize I also can’t just leave my whole life in Colorado for an unknown amount of time. Maybe later when it gets more obvious of the “time left”, but right now I just have to accept the fact that it sucks im far away but can make trips back when I can. Sorry to talk so much about it, it just helps to write it out as a way to process my thoughts and vent. 

Still have the passion more than ever to continue with my Whole30 though, and giving myself a big “it’s ok” for relapsing the other day based on the extenuating circumstances. I’m still learning and growing and that’s all that matters.

Now I’m off to stock up on healthy snacks/protein drinks for her to have while I’m gone as “emergency food” (she’s basically responding very similar to a diabetic with her eating/blood sugar now), so any recommendations would be great! I’m thinking protein bars like rx, maybe clif if little sugar, then some purely Elizabeth granola, maybe some larabars, and will check the ingredients on other brands, and then I’m foreign to the protein shakes but figured Whole Foods may have some good ones. She’s loving ensure and I refuse to let her continue. It has nothing but sugar and crap in it so I’m hoping to find a similar alternative. 

 

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@Dragonslayer What is your/her goal for food?  Easy?  High protein?  Low sugar?  Liquid?  Just curious so maybe I could give you some ideas!  Does she have an appetite? Mouth sores from chemo?  If she does, have her ask her doc about Miles Magic (thats what we call it, I'm actually not sure of the real name, but anyone in oncology will know what she is talking about).  Glad to hear about the home care - so hard on you and your dad so this will be huge.  Home nurses were great for my mom... and she loved having a new face around, it was a good change of pace for her I think.  

I'm also just going to toss this out there having been down this road.  She is the one with a really bad diagnosis right now.  She has limited reserves for coping.  If she likes Ensure I'd let her have it.  Unless you can find one that she really likes (and you present it as - oh, I found this new one!  What do you think? vs Ensure is crap mom, have this one instead) just let it go.  If she doesn't *want* to think about nutrition right now that is ok, she just got a cancer diagnosis.  Also, there are so many levels to this - her doctors tell her to drink the Ensure, she trusts her doctors for her cancer care so by default they must be giving her the best advice about what to eat too... so telling her Ensure is bad also tells her that her docs may be wrong about her care too.  Does that make any sense?  I'm not sure I'm right  but I went through this with my mom soooo many times.  She had a not very aggressive cancer so she was "ok" for quite a while and would oscillate between thinking paleo was really the way to go and wanting to just eat what she wanted and what her docs said to eat (all the grains!  all the low fat food!) and so I've had a lot of time to think about what was really going on with her decisions.  Just mentioning it - think about it and go with what you think is best.  Hugs.  Again.  

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@littleg you are so right about everything. My goal is just finding easy food that my dad doesn’t have to worry about cooking for when she needs a quick pick me up. And foods that pack a lot of protein and fat in a small amount. She does have an appetite but only wants very small portions. And she’s basically responding like a diabetic and needs constant fuel every few hours or she crashes. The sugar gives her quick energy but she actually doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth so she isn’t enjoying the smoothies, fruit, etc I’m trying, except in the morning. So far avocado toast is a hit, as well as clif bars, bananas, Vega protein shakes, and instant mashed potatoes. Trying roasted salted nuts, corn chips and dip, and a few other more salty things today. 

But yeah I had that revelation today actually about just letting her have what she wants. She does want to work on picking healthier options which is good, so I’m just gonna roll with her cravings and try to alter with healthy choices whenever she’s cool with it. I’m just happy if she’s eating anything right now, bc she’s been basically going into what seems like a diabetic coma every few hours, and then snaps out of it when she eats. So I’m learning how to keep her more balanced. Seems like protein is key. 

As for me, I cancelled dinner plans tonight and tomorrow with my aunt and close family friend. I just decided it’s too much and I would rather be at home making wholesome meals that help make me feel good, bc I’m learning that me feeling good is almost as important as her feeling good when it comes to my care and energy. So I’m focusing on what’s best for me too for the next few days. And being in my happy Whole30 kitchen zone is where I want to be. Prepping (non Whole30) food for my mom to freeze and making meals that work for all of us. I’m also seriously considering bringing wine back in my life every so often bc I really feel like it will help my stress/anxiety every once in a while. 

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Happy Wednesday.  Exhausted already after three days back at work. Clearly I need to win lottery.  Stress has already sent me on a mini binge or "minge" involving handfuls of nuts.  Need to breathe and get some rest.  @Dragonslayer  If you can do it only occasionally I do find the odd glass helps.  

 

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Morning! I’m back in Colorado and it was sooooo nice to sleep in my own bed instead of a couch. I’m tired and jet lagged but we are up early to go to steamboat for the day to ski together (me and the man) since we haven’t seen each other in a week and we have the day off together. It’s exactly what I want/need after a week of doing more sitting and not exercising than maybe ever before! I managed to stay Totally whole 30 for the last 4 days of my trip, so although I was going to restart today, I figure I can just call today day 5 now, right?! I wasn’t thinking about the pressure of the days at all, and that actually was really good for me, so I will continue to not focus on what day I’m on and just think with the same mindset. Left my dad with lots of food and other stuff to help him, and she was pretty stable, so although I feel terrible for having to leave, I also got a little bit of closure knowing I helped a lot for the week, did what I could, and will return in the near future. Getting a home aide hopefully next week too, which is a huge weight off all our shoulders and will help me worry less. 

So relatively speaking, I’m doing well, happy to be back in the mountain air, and actually looking forward to getting back to work! This week was a great time of reflection and getting my head straight in a lot of ways so I’m feeling good about my intentions and where I want to go from here. 

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Welcome home @Dragonslayer.  Great to hear that you mama is doing better. I am a great believer in not focusing too much on what day it is in terms of 4, 5 or 12.  I would just focus on how you feel and it sounds like you feel great! 

I'll post menus for the week tomorrow as I need some new meals to make me excited and get me out of the nuts!  TGIF to the max!

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Hi there.  It's strangely warm here this morning and then temperatures will plummet.  So my menus this week definitely highlight comfort food!

 

Tonight I am making

https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/paleo-shepherds-pie-whole30-dairy-free/

Tomorrow night I will grill salmon and vegetables

Monday I am trying this recipe

https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/pork-chops-apples-paleo-whole30/

and on Wednesday night, I will try this.  My husband cooks on Tuesday's and Thursdays so I don't have to plan for those.  For my lunches I will likely make a frittata and then roast some veggies ...

 

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@hmg1993 great minds think alike! Just last night I told my fiancé “tomorrow I want to make this Whole30 Shepard’s pie recipe I found” (from paleo running mamma!) BUT, I just got my instant pot yesterday (can’t contain the excitement!!!) and really want to try it tonight after work. I’m wondering if I can do the Shepard’s pie in it?! @littleg ever tried this or something similar? 

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Good morning friends! Holy instant deliciousness, this IP is going to be a total after Work dinner game changer! Last night I tried it for the first time and think I did pretty well! I made rosemary garlic lamb shoulder chops with roasted baby gold potatoes and Dijon roasted green beans. It was so delicious. I ate one chop and my fiancé ate all 4 others! He loved it obviously! :D Recipe below: 

3 lb lamb shoulder chops

3 Cloves garlic minced

2 shallots (or onions if you don’t have) chopped 

1 cup beef broth

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 tablespoons butter

1 teaspoon salt

pepper to taste

1-2 tablespoons rosemary (+fresh sprig if you have it- I just used dried and it was still great)

Season chops with rosemary and salt and let sit. Set IP to sauté on high. When preheated, put butter and olive oil in and brown Chops on each side a few minutes in batches (I did 2 at a time bc that’s what fit in mine). 

After they are browned, add onions and garlic and let cook for 1 minute. Then add tomato paste. Once paste is browned (1-2 minutes), add broth to deglaze.  Then add chops back in and set pressure cooker for 4 minutes. (This was the time for the recipe I used. I think longer would have resulted in more tender meat if you want.) use instant steam release when done. 

For the potatoes: Just roasted whole baby gold potatoes with olive oil, salt, pepper, and dried parsley at 450 for 55 minutes in a cast iron. 

Green beans: roasted them at 450 for 20-25 minutes with glaze of 2 teaspoons olive oil, 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard, 1-2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar, and salt to taste. 

 

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Wow @Dragonslayer.  That sounds amazing!!  I have green beans and am totally trying your roasting recipe.  

I have yet to order the IP.  My husband is grousing about the counter space it will take up as we have a tiny kitchen.  Grr.  Yesterday was not great either.  I ate an entire bag of dried apples (do not try that at home ) and felt like I was going to explode.  A good look.  Also ate way to many nuts.  Was too full to make the shepherds pie but managed to stuff down compliant take out (we have a place near us where I can get plain grilled fish, steamed veggies etc.).  I think it's being back at work, feeling stressed out, the length of my to-do list etc etc.  Need to get a grip and that's what I plan to do today.

 

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Happy MLK day! Most people are not working today but for me it’s one of the busiest days of the season! (Actually yesterday was worse, but still gonna be a crazy one). It’s good though. I love the busy days. Still doing well, although last night I broke my “no food after the 1 dinner plate” rule, and it came back to bite me as per usual. Ending up munching all through the rest of the night, but a much smaller scale compliant binge due to the helpful fact that we have no nuts, nut butter, dried fruit, or any of the dangerous snack stuff in the house right now! I realized how much of a difference it made when I wanted it but we didn’t have it. I just said, “well, I guess I just have to stop eating now and go watch tv.” So I will continue to make sure those foods stay away from my pantry bc it made a huge difference! Also, the kombucha after work is Totally my new thing. I pour it in a nice glass and sip on it while I’m cooking like I used to with wine. Really gonna focus on making it a habit. Found a delicious marinade I used on some chicken thighs and potatoes for a sheet pan last night. The brand is “The New Primal” And they have a bunch of different sauces and marinades. If I remember not all are Whole30, but I’m pretty sure they are all at least paleo. I used the “classic marinade and just poured a little over the thighs and let it spill onto the pan for the potatoes to soak in. (I cut them into very small bite size pieces) Roasted at 450 for 55 minutes with onions and garlic and then some smoked paprika on the thigh skins. My fiancé said they were the best potatoes he’s ever had. You can get the sauces on Thrive Market online for pretty cheap if you want to try. It’s a quick and easy flavor bomb! 

I’m a week in and the hard days are coming but I did it last time so I have way more confidence now. 

@hmg1993 are you reintroducing yet?

and what day are you and the hubs on @littleg I’m assuming he’s doing great and losing 5 lbs a day as all men do ;)

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Hi guys!  Its been a busy few days so I've been off the forums for a bit... I'm plugging along at day 17 now.  I've had a few days with too much fruit and/nut butter (gosh my stomach so does not like almonds) but nothing too bad.  Hubs is 5 days behind and doing well too.  He is trying to go a little lower carb to see if that helps with weight loss.  We'll see!  

@Dragonslayer Those recipes look great.  I'll check out those marinades on Thrive.  Glad you like the kombucha habit.  I just bought 2 cases at WF... :/  I wish I could make my own taste good - but it never really did.

@hmg1993 Tell your husband you'll throw out some appliances - you won't need a slow cooker anymore for sure!  Sorry that the return to real life has been stressful... as an outsider it makes me wonder if you can trim down your to-do list.  I have no idea what you do for a living but you sure do work a lot - is there a way to limit all those long days?    I know sometimes people really can NOT change all they have to do.  I know a few friends at the hospital always feel obligated to pick up extra shifts whenever they are asked - and work 60+ hrs a week.  Which is great (yeah $!) until it isn't great and they eat a bag of dried apples ;) <-- which PS, is often my hiking food, along with a block of cheese!

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@littleg  Yup on the clearing other appliances.  Despite the fact that he's the only coffee drinker, almost half the counter space is dominated by an elaborate coffee machine that i think will also file your taxes.  One day.  You're right on the trimming down the to-do list.  Alas work isn't something I can completely control.  I run a large team and am in a sector where the action never stops.  I can however control how I react to that action and I can definitely control access to dried apples,  My stomach is still recovering from that one!    Congrats on day 17!!!  That's amazing!!

Not really on the reintroduction @Dragonslayer.  I know already that legumes, soy and wheat are not my friends.  Wheat makes me bloated and is a major trigger for me .. like sugar.  Dairy is OK but for some reason right now I don't want it at all.  And we already know about wine.  Ahem!  So I guess right now I am largely riding my own bike which again is largely W30.  I definitely stick to the template meals as I feel a lot better and fuller if I do.  And for a life long calorie counter and restricter, it's healthy for me to consciously think about adding fat to my meals.

 

I made this amazing frittata for my lunches this week.  Didn't include the bacon (as I didn't have any).  Also used ground pork that I seasoned with fennel seed, italian seasoning, paprika and salt.   So good.  Roasted up a tray of veggies to have alongside -- fennel, carrots, aubergine and brussels sprouts with a mustard, balsamic glaze.  

 

 

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"and you have a cartoon of eggs that are about to expire" - yeah, like that ever happens when doing the W30 :lol:  Our little family of 2.12 goes through 4 dozen a week.  Sometimes more.  Last Sunday I bought 3 dozen.  We ran out by Thursday :/  

@hmg1993 hope that apple stomach ache ends soon!  Buy your husband this.  We love ours (and it makes plastic-free coffee, if you are into that sort of stuff).  It probably won't do your taxes though.   And honest, it makes an amazing cup of coffee.   More counter space for the IP ;)  Which, by the way, today I have used twice.  First I made Nomnompaleo's Kalua pork (with virtually no clean up since the bacon was cooked in the IP), I rinsed the pot then tossed in the bones of the chicken we roasted for dinner (on the grill) with some celery, onions and carrot so I'll have bone broth by tomorrow.  Then tomorrow after little man and I walk to the grocery store in the morning to buy a roast I'll also make some sort of roast in there.  So I'll do all that cooking with just one appliance and so far no dishes!  

These recipes you guys are posting all sound so good!  Have either of you tried the tri color roasted carrots that come frozen at TJ?  They are pricey (3 or 4$ for only a lb) and compliant.  So of course I bought them.  And they were good.  But then I realized I could cut my own carrot coins and toss them in oil and add salt, pepper and thyme.  So we did for dinner tonight.  Roasted at 400 until browned.  Holy yummy.  For 0.79$ instead :)

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OK @littleg  I am on it.  And, he drinks iced coffee, so I bet it tastes better!  Clearly I need the IP.  I have always wanted to try the Kalua pork.  I don't have a Trader Joe's near me alas but I buy the 5lb pack of carrots from WF and then roast my own.  I like cutting the into sticks and tossing with fennel seed and coconut oil.  Next time I will try thyme!   I agree on the eggs.  They're such the perfect food and I never get sick of them!

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I will be making that same frittata tomorrow seeing as I bought ground pork the other day and couldn't figure out what to do with it! Looks delicious. I use a french press (not plastic) for coffee and I think it's the best appliance I have. So simple, cheap, and makes the most delicious tasting coffee. Only takes about 5 minutes and hardly any space on the counter! Also another option to consider. 

I lost it today. Things are going downhill quick with my mom and getting the news at work just sent me into a total freak out. I didn't know how to handle the stress and went straight for the cookie on the counter which then led to all the things sugar and salt. Trying to just get through this day and start over tomorrow because I feel awful physically and emotionally now. I'm much better tonight after talking through it all with my fiance, but it was not a good day. I'm not upset with myself. I just couldn't be focused on that today. I know it actually ends up making me feel worse, but for those few initial moments of panic, stress, and sadness, I did actually feel some relief after eating. I am still learning how to find other ways of coping and I am making improvements, but perfection just isn't going to happen right now.  I'm proud I made it 8 days and I will keep going doing it as many days as I can without counting. Learning to manage this kind of stress and work through these feelings is so hard. So I know it won't happen overnight. I just need to learn how to react in those immediate moments when I don't let myself talk through my feelings as much. Sorry to bring some negative energy. I feel embarrassed sometimes that I can't seem to get past the 10 day mark for so long and I never want to post about it when it happens, but then I want to continue staying honest and accountable and you guys are always so supportive and understand my feelings.  With all this other stuff going on in my life, I am giving myself a little grace and just continuing to chug along doing my best and working to be as healthy as possible through this hard time because I know it's what I need and want. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes after many days of a good streak and when I start to feel great again, I almost feel guilty that my mind is so clear and in a happier place, bc part of me thinks I should never be feeling good during this hard time. But then the other side of me knows that is crazy and that keeping myself as healthy and happy as I can is the best way to get through this. It's just a weird feeling and I don't know  to handle it sometimes.

Anyways, going to bed and try to sleep all this off. Sorry again for the venting, but it just helps to write out my feelings. 

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The illness of a parent (especially coming on so suddenly and unexpected) is so hard and it doesn't help that she is so far away.  Do what you need to for yourself right now, and do NOT worry at all about us judging you!  This is a safe place for all of us to come to about using cookies, dried apple slices or spoonfuls of almond butter without judgment from a group of people who understand how that can even happen.  We are here for you no matter what!  Prayers for mom and hugs for you.  

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@hmg1993 The kalua pork is possibly the #1 reason to buy the IP.  It is like crack.  Not kidding.  I could eat a whole 3lb roast in one sitting.  Well, I guess for a binge eater that isn't too impressive but it is good ;)

 

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