Binge eating and re-starting Whole30


5280sarah

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@littleg Yep! With the yellow cover and red writing. I still try to implement strategies from that book into my daily life and they seem to align really well with the Whole30. Also, I noticed you said you did/do cross fit... I am currently considering getting into cross fit type workouts. I already do a lot of HIIT/Tabata type workouts, Power Yoga, and Running, but I find my body gets so ravenous after lots of cardio and thats when the cravings hit. When I do more weight and strength type workouts I do better with the food. But I am learning I need to regulate my carbs better with the cardio. What is your average carb intake (and what foods) with doing crossfit? Im trying to eat at least 1 sweet potato per day plus another starchy veg like squash or parsnips, but with trying to avoid fruit because of my sugar triggers, I'm finding it a little difficult. 

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@Dragonslayer Perfect!  The library has it.  Little man and I will walk down tomorrow to pick it up.  Amazon lets you read a few pages for free... I'm reading the story about Lisa the former smoker who turned into a marathoner and that brain imaging showed plasticity of her brain.  Pretty cool.  I'm familiar with neural plasticity but not much more than having heard of it.  Looking forward to the book!  

In terms of workouts... do you read Marksdailyapple?  He posted a study on there a year or so ago about marathon training and weight loss.  The results: there is none.  My husband, a man who lost 25 lbs in 30 days on the W30 trained for a marathon while very much not W30ing.  Lost: 0 lbs.  Burning lots of calories makes you... eat more.  My binge eating was pretty bad in my triathlete days because I was so.damn.hungry all the time and eating basically low fat/ high carb.  Paleo was what made me stop the chronic cardio - I really bought into the data suggesting it doesn't help with weight loss nor does it really seem to actually be all that good for you.  I did really enjoy running so I did a few 3-5 mile runs here and there but that was it.  I honestly never thought a whole lot about carbs aside from the post WO snack when doing CF.  I was pretty into it during a W30 I logged on here.  

https://forum.whole30.com/topic/32336-littlegs-post-nano-log/

I just skimmed the first few pages and it looks like I ate a lot of kabocha squash :) And drank a lot of kombucha.  Oh and carrots.  My hands are orange because I eat so many!  Do you eat regular potatoes?  I know some people find them to be a food with no breaks.  Beets are good - anti W30 but those Just Beet chips from TJ are pretty good.  $$ but good.  And if you are not doing a W30 rice or beans.  

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@littleg thats so weird you say that, I literally just read that post he had about it yesterday! I just started checking out his website recently. Seems like a good resource. I totally see the reasoning in the cardio thing. And I have been trying to get away from it and do more weight lifting and strength conditioning, but I do really love the feeling of a good cardio session every once in a while. I also ski and bike for a living (not anything super intense, but its definitely an active job) so I'm just trying to find my balance of everything, working out, eating to fuel my job and life, and stop bingeing. It feels so complicated sometimes! But I think I may chill on the cardio for the next few weeks because I wont be working my normal active job for a few weeks and maybe ill learn some things. 

I will eat regular potatoes, I was avoiding them for a while, but maybe I should start to eat more of them now. They are usually only a food without brakes in restaurant fry form or chips so I should be ok to incorporate more. 

Thanks for your advice! 

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@littleg and @Dragonslayer  I so appreciate the support and advice and it's also helpful to read the exchange on exercise. So I didn't log today!  Feels strange but I am going with it at least for now.  As for the 1400 calories.  I am 5'8" and weigh about 150. Today I ate:

Broccoli with 2 eggs and half an avocado

Salmon fillet with roasted fennel, eggplant, carrot and parsnip

Beef tenderloin, fingerling potatoes and artichoke.  Orange

I do 30 minutes treadmill five days a week; get an average of 12K steps a day and 2-3 pilates sessions a week. I have been very curious about crossfit but am intimidated and hate any kind of group cardio:)

Hope everyone had a good day!  Can't wait for the weekend.  I tend to plan my menus for the week then and do some food prep.  I find this really helps  me

 

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Looks like pretty good (and delicious!) meals to me. Since you exercise though, maybe you would want to consider adding in a pre/post workout snack/small meal. I usually end up eating more like 4 meals per day bc of my exercise and it has seemed to help my energy levels and cravings. I guess it all depends on if you are hungry for more food or not. Just to compare, I’ll list what I had today. It’s interesting to see other people’s food logs I think. Especially people with similar binge issues. 

Breakfast: 2 egg scramble with kale, chopped Brussels sprouts, and onions (cooked in ghee) with a salmon filet (maybe 1/4 pound size, not sure)

1st lunch: romaine salad with elk tenderloin (palm size portion), half a diced sweet potato, leftover roasted broccoli, and a creamy Dijon vinaigrette made with avocado mayo. Then ate the other half of the potato with some sea salt and cinnamon because I’m trying to up my carb intake (and I was still a bit hungry)

Post workout “2nd lunch”: a huge plate of spaghetti squash with sugar snap peas in a sesame garlic sauce. Then ate a small handful of shredded coconut. 

Dinner: didn’t feel like cooking so I had leftovers: elk tenderloin again (palm size portion), buffalo cauliflower bites with creamy ranch dip, and some roasted Brussels sprouts. 

I went for a 4 mile run and had a pretty lazy day otherwise. 

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Yeah definitely try to keep up the not logging and then if you recap with us we can all give advice and you can see your eating patterns over the days. 

The elk- I’m lucky. I live in the mountains and my fiancé is a hunter. So we always have a freezer stocked full of venison and elk. But you can find farm raised elk and bison at some good health food stores I think. 

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@Dragonslayer the good thing about potatoes is that you can't go back for more if you only cook a portion of them!  You know unlike raisins or something.  I make fries in the oven - a fist size potato, peel it, slice it and put it on parchment paper, spray on some oil and bake at 425 for 15 min or so.  I'll admit they are tasty and I could eat 10x what I make... but once those fries are gone, all I've got left are raw potatoes :) 

And I've got to know.. what the heck do you do for a living that is biking and skiing?  You probably live somewhere amazing too.  I'm just a bit jealous!  And lastly, I saw a recipe for buffalo cauliflower - did it turn out good?  

@hmg1993 Your meals look great!  And you certainly seem to be at a normal weight... I would bet that your arbitrary 1400 is too low though and IF you could stop logging and just concentrate on nourishing... I bet you'd end up getting closer to your goals.  Just a hunch.  Good for you taking one day off from logging.  How did you feel mentally doing that?  I only ask because it was super hard for me.  I think I felt more anxious for a bit before suddenly I was like... hey, look, I can do this!  

Here is what I ate yesterday

M1 -  coffee with coconut cream and pumpkin pie spice (the full fat stuff, literally solid chunks!  love it :) ), 3 eggs scrambled with a chunk of smoked salmon thrown in at the end + 1/2 large onion and large bell pepper sautéed in some coconut oil

M2 - left over beef roast (definitely more than a palm sized portion...), Moroccan spiced roasted veggies (cauliflower, broccoli, pepper, onion, carrots), creamed spinach (onions, spinach, coconut milk)

Snack - HB egg with mayo

M3 - more beef (this was a 5 lb roast!), 4 of those cauliflower/broccoli patties from TJ, creamed spinach, munched on carrots with creamy dijon for dipping while I was cooking.  2 Justin's white chocolate PB cups with tea for dessert.  Which worked surprisingly well.  We'll see how I do having a few packs around in the house when I lose my shit because the little guy decides to boycott a nap :lol:

I walked 1 mile with baby on my back and 3 with him in the stroller.  No lifting or anything yesterday except for my feeble attempts to get pull ups - I hang on the pull up bar in the kitchen when I'm in there!

 

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@littleg Thanks for the encouragement. Your meals look great too. As to how I feel...definitely anxious and my brain definitely wants to default to adding up calories. But what’s dawning on me is that I’ve been doing this for umpteen years and have really nothing to show for it other than deepening food and body issues. So, I really can’t come up with any good reasons not to try this approach. It’s super helpful to have this support mechanism as I make this transition and be able to post my meals. I am sure you’re right about the 1400 being too low. Just so I am adding some value to the mix, I do love to cook and so will plan to share my weekly meal plans and recipes in the event they inspire! Happy Friday!

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@hmg1993 Definitely share your recipes! I’m obsessed with cooking and new ideas so I will love to see what you come up with! And yeah the anxiety will be there for a while but it definitely goes away. Soon you will get that empowered feeling of being proud and not even caring about the numbers anymore! 

@littleg I live in Colorado and am a ski and bike Patroller at a ski resort. (Basically an EMT on skis) My life definitely feels like a semi permanent vacation sometimes :P. It’s exhausting though! And I Don’t make a lot of money, so choosing to eat this way has been a bit tough to figure out, but I’m finding lots of good ways to save money. If you guys have never heard of or tried it, Thrive Market online is so amazing. Check it out! And yes, definitely love the homemade fries, sweet potato ones too are my fav. But you are so right. I have found that once they are gone, I am not gonna take the time to make more, and by then, I won’t want them anymore anyways probably! 

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Today's unlogged (:)) foods follow:

 

One egg and three egg whites scrambled with zucchini and fingerling potatoes with curry powder

 

Salad comprising arugula, chicken breast, sweet potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, cauliflower, avocado with balsamic vinegar

 

Half cup of grapes and 6 pistachios while cooking

 

Grilled Ahi Tuna with roasted parsnips and asparagus.  I may have an apple later if I am hungry.

 

So strange to have no clue on calories but I kind of don't care.  Hope everyone had a good day!   

 

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@hmg1993 that’s so awesome! Keep up the not counting. Your meals seem really great and right on track with a healthy amount. 

While you are making awesome progress, I am very upset and embarrassed to say I am not. Today was not good. I went to the city for my monthly stock up on all the groceries and other stuff I don’t have access to in my small mountain town. Historically, my city trips often turned into binges because I was so overwhelmed by all the amazing restaurants and foods I never have at home and I would just go crazy. I stopped making those trips as often or tried not to go by myself for a while, and I was able to control myself better for many months. But for some reason today, I just lost it. I was in Trader Joe’s and just started craving all the amazing pumpkin spice treats, chocolate covered everything they have, etc. I didn’t buy anything, but then I went to Whole Foods. I totally lost my strong mindful state, and ended up buying a to go hot dinner AND plantain chips, siete cassava  tortilla chips, coconut ice cream, and Tate’s gluten free chocolate chip cookies. My hour and a half drive home was a mindless binge and now I’m at home feeling so sick and just so pissed at myself. I’m not sad or depressed, just mad. I know I could have resisted, and I just didn’t use any strategies I know I could have. This is the 2nd failure I’ve had at my whole30 now this month. I just can’t seem to get past the 1st week. Both times it’s been around day 6 or 7. I debating sharing this because I feel guilty committing to this with you guys and then breaking my promise to not only you all, but also to myself. Especially when I’m pretty sure I started the idea of the whole100 on here. But then I decided the only way I can keep learning and growing and improving is to share my struggles and ask for support and guidance. 

So I’m back to trying again tomorrow. And by the end of this week, I would really love any advice and support you all could give on how I can get past that rough point. I feel so good the first 5 days or so. And then it just gets so hard. It wasn’t this bad my first time doing whole30. I don’t know why I am struggling so much this time around. 

Anyways, sorry for the rant, but I admire you all for still staying strong and I’m not giving up! 

Grateful to be able to come here and vent, and I hope you all use my upsetting experience as fuel to keep staying strong in your own journeys. 

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1 hour ago, Dragonslayer said:

@hmg1993 that’s so awesome! Keep up the not counting. Your meals seem really great and right on track with a healthy amount. 

While you are making awesome progress, I am very upset and embarrassed to say I am not. Today was not good. I went to the city for my monthly stock up on all the groceries and other stuff I don’t have access to in my small mountain town. Historically, my city trips often turned into binges because I was so overwhelmed by all the amazing restaurants and foods I never have at home and I would just go crazy. I stopped making those trips as often or tried not to go by myself for a while, and I was able to control myself better for many months. But for some reason today, I just lost it. I was in Trader Joe’s and just started craving all the amazing pumpkin spice treats, chocolate covered everything they have, etc. I didn’t buy anything, but then I went to Whole Foods. I totally lost my strong mindful state, and ended up buying a to go hot dinner AND plantain chips, siete cassava  tortilla chips, coconut ice cream, and Tate’s gluten free chocolate chip cookies. My hour and a half drive home was a mindless binge and now I’m at home feeling so sick and just so pissed at myself. I’m not sad or depressed, just mad. I know I could have resisted, and I just didn’t use any strategies I know I could have. This is the 2nd failure I’ve had at my whole30 now this month. I just can’t seem to get past the 1st week. Both times it’s been around day 6 or 7. I debating sharing this because I feel guilty committing to this with you guys and then breaking my promise to not only you all, but also to myself. Especially when I’m pretty sure I started the idea of the whole100 on here. But then I decided the only way I can keep learning and growing and improving is to share my struggles and ask for support and guidance. 

So I’m back to trying again tomorrow. And by the end of this week, I would really love any advice and support you all could give on how I can get past that rough point. I feel so good the first 5 days or so. And then it just gets so hard. It wasn’t this bad my first time doing whole30. I don’t know why I am struggling so much this time around. 

Anyways, sorry for the rant, but I admire you all for still staying strong and I’m not giving up! 

Grateful to be able to come here and vent, and I hope you all use my upsetting experience as fuel to keep staying strong in your own journeys. 

Did you eat a proper template meal before going into those stores?  maybe try that next time?  Also, maybe try making a list or budget and then not getting anything not on the list or outside the budget... the budget one is super helpful to me... I can't have xyz becasuse then I won't be able to get abc off my list due to budget.... it doesn't have to all be sheer willpower, you can use tricky strategies like this for getting around the tough times.

it's not a failure btw... it's you living your life and trying to figure out your own food freedom and strategies for how you're going to build healthy habits where unhealthy ones have stood before... 

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@Dragonslayer  So not a failure and although it might not feel that way to you, what you ate is really not that bad in the scheme of things.  I am trying (and not always succeeding) to not label foods as bad or good. Thanks to W30 i know what bothers me and what I can do without. Don't think of it as success or failure.  Think of it as learning.  It's natural if you don't have regular access to those foods that you will crave them.  Maybe next time allow yourself to buy one "treat" item to enjoy.  Something that you really, really want.   Sorry of like @littleg's peanut butter cup.  Also don't ever feel guilty.  This isn't about perfection.  It's about slowly but surely getting better.

 

I'm on Day three I think and slept so well last night, which is not always the case.  Planning my weekly menus that i will share in a little bit

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Sorry @Dragonslayer :( If you have ever had people around who know *exactly* what you felt before and during the binge and what you feel in the aftermath its us... sucky feeling for sure.  I think sugarcube's advice about eating before shopping is good and so is making a list as were your ideas about going with someone (because we all know we'd never eat this way in front of someone else).  I have TJ and WF a few miles away and not all that long ago was triggered into a binge at WF and then went to TJ to continue.  BUT a few times when I'm on the edge a kombucha will help.  Its so bubbly and tasty that I find it really does fill me up and get me through the rough moment that may have actually been started by some hunger.  Sometimes fruit too - I'll buy a giant apple and a seltzer or something and once the liter of seltzer is finished I'm too full to want stuff.  

I also have wondered something for a while...my husband knows about my ED and always tells me to call him if I'm about to binge to try to pull the rational me back into the midst :) But I never do.  Because then I might not binge.  And I *want* to binge.  But I've always wondered if I'd ever call someone who knows what is like.  One of my husband's aunts is a binge eater and we talked about trying to support each other but she backed out saying she just wanted to keep binge eating.  Do you think you'd ever call a safe person who gets it (like in AA they have sponsors)?  I'd be happy to exchange cell #s if you wanted to try it... As I write this I don't know that I'd every be "brave enough" to call you either - but I might!  Though if I ever called you you'd probably be swishing down some glades or something and couldn't answer anyway :lol:

@hmg1993 Day 2 of not logging?!  Keep going :)  And try 3 eggs instead of 1 whole egg and egg whites for breakfast.  Remember, fat isn't bad for you.  Eggs are nature's perfect meal.  Enjoy eating the yolks.  Really, they taste good.  Can you buy eggs from healthy pastured hens?  Then eggs are like taking a vitamin!  And your meals are still low in fat - it looks like the avocado was the only added fat (besides cooking fat - which unless you are using tons doesn't really count towards fat intake).  You *may* find once you give your body the fat it needs (and the access to fat soluble vitamins and other metabolic processes that healthy fat helps with) that you feel less binge-y.  Think of it this way - if you are maintaining your weight with binge eating... you will probably also maintain your weight with more extra nutrition (calories from GOOD food) and fewer binges!  I know it is so hard to get your head ok with eating fat.  It took me a while years ago when I started eating paleo - I did the egg white thing too :) But every time I have done a W30 or W60 (there have been a few now) my daily nutrient intake goes up (as does my fat intake) but my binge intake goes down and I get leaner.   

 

 

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Here's my menu plan and some recipes for the week:

Today we will have pork chops with mashed cauliflower

Tomorrow, it's Chicken Lime Soup -- I bake chicken breasts using this method

https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/baked-chicken-breast/

and then shred them.  I always make extra breasts for lunches.  Then I saute lots of onion (cut into semi circles), carrots and celery in a large pot and then add about 4-6 cups of compliant chicken broth.  In goes the shredded chicken (usually from two large breasts) and then I reduce heat to simmer until veggies are cooked.  At the end I add in lots of chopped cilantro and juice of one lime.  I top with chopped avocado.  My soup is more stew in that I have more substance than liquid!

Monday night I will make this and serve with green beans and Japanese sweet potatoes (love)

http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-southwestern-spiced-pork-tenderloin-weeknight-dinner-recipes-from-the-kitchn-125314

On Wednesday I am going to try the Butternut Squash bake from the Whole30 recipes instagram feed this week.  It looks delicious and I will make it ahead tomorrow.  In addition to the above I will roast lots of vegetables -- my favorite combo right now is carrot, parsnip and fennel with smoked paprika -- and have those for my lunch box with my leftover chicken or pork.  Plus I make a batch of mayo always for added fat.  My husband cooks on Tuesdays and Thursdays -- a recent and very welcome development as we both work really long hours (we're also newly empty nesters with our baby off at college) and he always grills fish or meat plus has veggies so super easy for me.

What's on your plan for the week?  Would love to hear and thank you again for all of the support.    

 

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@SugarcubeOD and @hmg1993 thanks both of you for your advice and kind words. Food wise, yes I packed a lunch and snack so that I wouldn’t buy anything, and then even before I binged I ate a dinner of sweet potato, salad, and turkey from Whole Foods. I did also have a budget list, but at that point, all sensible controlled thoughts were not happening. But I know I could have done better, because I did use that strategy and talked myself through not doing it at trade joes, and actually felt great after that. So it can happen. I just have to stay consistent and keep practicing.

i think I really need to work on the portioning of the meals. I’m learning that part of the habit and cravings I’m dealing with are for just simply overeating in general, regardless of the foods. So I start Healthy, but then my blood sugar rises and I start to get the bad cravings. I think my body is just so used to getting that weekly overload of food that it almost expects it now. I dunno. 

No surprise I got no sleep, and this morning my body is so sore and achy from all the sugar and carb overload . (Ever happen to anyone else?) I’m swollen and nauscious and once again reminded why I am trying to hard to stop this behavior. I feel so bad that I’m making my body work so hard to digest and get rid of all that junk, I know it can’t be good for my system. After reading so many books, I know the risk I am putting on myself for heart disease, diabetes, etc and that is another huge reason for me to continue working at this as much as possible. I’m getting married this coming June and we are already talking about kids. My biggest fear is that I will still be dealing with this when we start trying to get pregnant, because I absolutely refuse to continue this behavior with a baby growing in me. I want them to develop in a healthy and balanced body. I guess I need to keep reminding myself of reasons like that that are so incredibly important the next time I think “oh it will be fine just one”. 

Anyways, sorry for such a long post. Woke up to these messages and just got emotional and had to vent. I really appreciate your responses. Having support is so helpful. Especially today when I’ll be on a blood sugar roller coaster and trying to get back on track. 

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@littleg  You are right about the eggs and it's actually not a fat thing, i think they're fluffier that way.  Good point on the extra fat and I need to make up a batch of my mayo and I can dollop that on.  I have to say that I am really loving this conscious not counting approach.  Before I would only do it when I binged as I didn't want to see the awful truth but now I find it calming and I am less stressed about thinking "only 1000 calories" left, etc. etc.  

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2 minutes ago, Dragonslayer said:

@SugarcubeOD and @hmg1993 thanks both of you for your advice and kind words. Food wise, yes I packed a lunch and snack so that I wouldn’t buy anything, and then even before I binged I ate a dinner of sweet potato, salad, and turkey from Whole Foods. I did also have a budget list, but at that point, all sensible controlled thoughts were not happening. But I know I could have done better, because I did use that strategy and talked myself through not doing it at trade joes, and actually felt great after that. So it can happen. I just have to stay consistent and keep practicing.

i think I really need to work on the portioning of the meals. I’m learning that part of the habit and cravings I’m dealing with are for just simply overeating in general, regardless of the foods. So I start Healthy, but then my blood sugar rises and I start to get the bad cravings. I think my body is just so used to getting that weekly overload of food that it almost expects it now. I dunno. 

No surprise I got no sleep, and this morning my body is so sore and achy from all the sugar and carb overload . (Ever happen to anyone else?) I’m swollen and nauscious and once again reminded why I am trying to hard to stop this behavior. I feel so bad that I’m making my body work so hard to digest and get rid of all that junk, I know it can’t be good for my system. After reading so many books, I know the risk I am putting on myself for heart disease, diabetes, etc and that is another huge reason for me to continue working at this as much as possible. I’m getting married this coming June and we are already talking about kids. My biggest fear is that I will still be dealing with this when we start trying to get pregnant, because I absolutely refuse to continue this behavior with a baby growing in me. I want them to develop in a healthy and balanced body. I guess I need to keep reminding myself of reasons like that that are so incredibly important the next time I think “oh it will be fine just one”. 

Anyways, sorry for such a long post. Woke up to these messages and just got emotional and had to vent. I really appreciate your responses. Having support is so helpful. Especially today when I’ll be on a blood sugar roller coaster and trying to get back on track. 

@Dragonslayer The day after a binge can feel like a hangover to me (and I don't really drink) and I know exactly what you mean with the aches.  The worst part for me though is the mental feeling as I feel bad.  But don't.  Breathe.  That was yesterday and it's done with and over.  You can only control today.  Be kind to yourself.  You sound like such an amazing person and what lovely things you have ahead with a wedding (congratulations) and starting a family.  Focus on all of that good.  So you ate too much yesterday?  So what?  (Trust me, I really struggle too so am not always good about seeing it that way).  And your healthy habits I am sure far outweigh the bad.  Even with my binges (probably about 10 really bad ones a year but maybe more) I have low cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure.  I think exercise helps a lot as does being able to connect with people who can relate.  I don't know about you but the binging makes me feel so isolated.  Everything else in my life seems together and I have this "secret" problem. Which is why this group is so helpful for me.  

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@littleg I did do the apple yesterday at Trader Joe’s and that definitely helped for a while. And I love kombucha but i try not to buy it because it’s so pricey. But maybe I’ll let that be my “treat” to enjoy in those moments. 

 I have the exact same issue with my fiancé. I never tell him in the moment, and then I always tell After and he’s like “whAt so you were lying to me?!” I feel so bad but it’s that same “wanting” to binge feeling. Honestly, I don’t know if I would be brave enough to call, but I do know I would be much more likely to call you than my fiancé. Strange since we have never met, but it’s just so different talking to someone who truly understands. So maybe if you don’t mind we could exchange numbers. I think it would definitely be worth the try and if it never happens then no big deal! Thanks for the offer, it’s very kind for basically being a stranger. 

@hmg1993 your post just gave me an idea. I have never planned out my meals like that. I usually just get to lunch and think “ok what do I want?” Maybe if I plan ahead everything so that I don’t have the option to stray from the plan, that would help. I’ll try it this week and plan my meals today. And I will try to be easy on myself. I am definitely getting better at it. It’s just frustrating to have to start over again. But you are right. The healthy choices definitely out weigh the bad. So I’ll just keep working on it. 

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3 hours ago, Dragonslayer said:

I did do the apple yesterday at Trader Joe’s and that definitely helped for a while. And I love kombucha but i try not to buy it because it’s so pricey. But maybe I’ll let that be my “treat” to enjoy in those moments. 

Sorry the apple didn't work.  But the $$ of kombucha can work with sugarcube's advice to budget.  Maybe only bring cash with you... that way you can't buy the crap because then you'll have no food for the week...

 

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