Binge eating and re-starting Whole30


5280sarah

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yeah i actually was thinking about the cash thing. im gonna try that too. and this whole meal planning thing is kind of fun. i have the whole30 cookbook and tons of recipes on pinterest etc, but I never actually use them. I'm gonna try to do at least 3 this week. and I will also roast a bunch of veggies like you @hmg1993 fennel, parsnips, brussels sprouts, and some purple potatoes (I also LOVE).

Trying to eat normal today even though I am always so unsure of my hunger and fullness the day after a binge. I just feel hungover all day, but im focusing on eating 3 solid meals. Had the rest of my leftover elk tenderloin in a collard wrap this morning with guacomole, tomatoes, and jicama. Then for lunch I just had a bowl of seasoned ground chicken with broccoli, onions, and chipolte mayo sauce. Random 2nd meal, but it's just what sounded good. Now I'm off to the store to stock up on veggies for the week. And I am including a kombucha in my list because its all I want right now, and it will probably help settle my stomach anyways. Have ribs slow cooking in the oven and we are having an at home "happy hour" later for football. Feeling less "down" now after a good workout, some journaling, talking to you guys, and making a plan for my week. :D

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@Dragonslayer  Your meals look amazing and you're going to feel so much better tomorrow.  I haven't tried Kombucha yet but love seltzer water.  That and green tea keeps me awake (almost).  My meals for today follow.  I was so tempted to add up in myfitnesspal but then didn't.  One small win for me!  I follow whole30recipes for inspiration and also love nom nom paleo and therealfoodsrds.com for ideas.  Today's meals follow.   Hope everyone had a good day.  We're spending a weekend away from the city and the sky is so clear we can see the craters on the moon!

 

One jumbo egg, three whites made into an omelet with tomatoes and tandoori spice.  Half an avocado.  Green and black  tea

Salad made from shaved brussels sprouts, cabbage, slivered almonds, tomatoes, avocado with salmon on top.  Iced tea

Couple of radishes and half a tangerine.  A few bites of chicken breast while prep cooking for the week

Mashed cauliflower and butternut squash with ghee.  Pork chop and apple pan fried with coconut oil

 

 

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Good job resisting the counting! Keep it up! That’s so awesome. Your meals today sound delicious, but being totally honest, I think you might have eaten less today than you could have. Seems a little light on the caloric intake. But of course it all depends on how you feel and your hunger. I just know on days when I don’t eat enough, it comes back to bite me the next day with intense hunger and cravings. But no judgement of course, just an observation based on your Log! :)

I too love those websites, I just need to actually use the recipes more. I also LOVE PaleoRunningMomma. I use her Whole30 recipes a lot! And I’ve actually made the nom nom’s cracklin’ chicken and that was soooo good. I’m thinking I’ll try some from my Whole30 cookbook this next few days, considering I did buy it for that purpose so I might as well get my money’s worth! 

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Thanks @Dragonslayer  The strange thing is not counting makes me less hungry.  My portion sizes are pretty large and I am feeling full -- more so than usual.  But I am totally going to keep an eye on it as I have no doubt that my attempts to restrict calories have contributed to my binging.  I haven't cooked anything from the Whole Foods cookbook but i do love the Well Fed ones.  And I remembered another source of inspiration .... nocrumbsleft.net!

 

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Ooo I’ve never heard of the no crumbs one. I’ll check it out! Thanks! 

And funny that same thing actually happened to me too when I stopped counting. Less appetite, but then I started getting too obsessive about my portion sizes etc, which I still struggle with today. But all that matters is staying mindful of the hunger and fullness signals instead of counting. which I am still working on as well. 

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Hi small gang :) Happy to see you feel a little better today DS - and nice job getting back to eating 3 meals.  Taking away the restricting after a binge may also help your rational brain make the decision to not binge next time because if you don't give yourself the option to restrict you may be less likely to go overboard.   I always barely eat the day after :(  

Hmg - is this day 3 of no logging?!  Yeah!  What are you doing with your new found free time? ;)

Work day for me today.  Didn't get breakfast in like I hoped.  Ate it with lunch at noon.  Oh well.

Last of the roast beef, 1 HB egg <-- meal one, ate while pumping

Frittata with 3 eggs, salmon, onions and peppers and mayo, carrots with creamy dijon vinaigrette for dipping <-- eaten 10 min later

Dinner - I was starving... 2 zucchinis spiralized with onions, peppers, last of the leftover chicken and Rao's sauce with parmesan cheese.  Had a chunk of 5 year aged gouda while we cooked

Did a second night of the PB cups.  And I don't love them.  I used to have chocolate every night and kinda don't want to get back into that.  I have eaten dessert since I was a kid.  So I really like having something but I'm having a hard time figuring out what that something is.  If I do fruit I do too much fruit... Sometimes coconut butter but, meh, don't love it.  I want something to enjoy with a cup of tea.  But a small something.  Any ideas?

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I think it's day 4 @littleg!  And it feels good so far.  The voice in my head keeps saying "watch out, you will eat too much" but I am choosing to ignore.  Listening to it hasn't done me much good thus far.  Have you tried frozen grapes?  Sometimes they can be quite satisfying and it's hard to overdo them.  I love dried figs but like fruit in general I have a hard time just having one.  But since you can manage just one PB cup, maybe that could be an option?

Meal 1 for me was omelet again with tomatoes and tandoori spice plus a large half avocado and a tangerine (love that they're in season!)

Meal 2 was left over ahi tuna made into a nicoise salad with roasted green beans and purple potatoes, tomatoes, anchovy, a poached egg and dressing made with a dollop of my homemade mayo, lemon zest and juice and capers.  Plus a pink lady apple.

Meal 3 was my mexican chicken soup topped with avocado.  snacked on a couple of slices of turkey breast.  

Hope everyone had a good weekend.  It's so wet here I think my feet are webbed!

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Damn @hmg1993 that Niçoise salad sounds incredible! Definitely gonna try that one. Sounds like you are doing awesome this past few days! Don’t stop now you are on a roll! 

@littleg maybe homemade chocolate covered strawberries? Or something like chocolate covered almonds or ginger chunks like they have at Trader Joe’s? You could also try making a homemade ice cream with coconut milk and whatever flavors you like. Also, have you ever tried “mug cakes”? There are some great recipes on Pinterest for a bunch of different kinds and they only take 2 minutes in a coffee mug in the microwave. Some are like fudge and others like cake or cookie consistency. 

I had a great day today. Did a ton of journaling, thinking, and really dove into the reasons I want to do this, why I am struggling, how I can improve, and my goals for the future. It felt good to hash it all out. I also had some delicious meals!

Breakfast: Cobb salad with HB eggs, bacon, avocado, sautéed mushrooms and onions

pre workout: some jicama sticks with guacamole 

post workout lunch: chicken bratwurst inside a small white sweet potato (like a bun!) and a cabbage slaw. 

Pre dinner: guacamole, some salsa, veggies to dip

dinner: grilled pork loin, fried plantains, sautéed Brussels onions and peppers smothered in chipotle mayo. 

My fiancé is teaching me the “basics of lifting” tonight so I can start doing more strength training and less cardio. I’m excited!

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I love reading all your responses. It's so great to have advice tailored to this specific issue. I'm honestly so grateful to all of you for being open and honest. @Dragonslayer I just wanted to tell you that I commend you for trying to tackle this before you have kids. I have two little girls and I am acutely aware of my issues and the responsibility of trying to be a good example to them. Also I did want to tell you that during both my pregnancies I had a really acute sense of peace with my body and no bingeing urges whatsoever. It really was a time in my life where I ate very intuitively and very well and was very tuned into my hunger and fullness cues. It was a great feeling. If you ever need a Trader Joes and Whole Foods buddy I will totally come with you next time if you think it would be helpful (to everyone else - we established we live in vaguely the same area in Colorado). 

I have really had a tough time with bingeing for the past 5 months. I was binge free for 7 months prior to that which was the time that I was very committed to whole30 eating and my food freedom. In the past 4 weeks it has really clicked for me again which feels great. I can't pin point exactly why and it's a mix between physical and mental factors. Exactly as stated in the Brain Over Binge book, bingeing becomes a habit and once you break it it's easier to continue not doing it and the muscle memory becomes stronger. I also had a mental shift where I realized that I was eating junk and feeling terrible and didn't want to feel like that anymore. That sounds overly simplistic and I know it isn't that easy as I have been struggling with this for months. 

I love all of your responses and look forward to reading them. You are all giving me lots of food ideas and also tips on preventing binges so THANK YOU!

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Hey guys, I haven't chimmed in for awhile but I've still been reading all the posts.

I made it 5 days into my attempted "whole100" as we called it, and then I fell hard. I am in university full time and it's just that time of the semester when there are not enough hours in the day and stress is making my hair fall out. So I kinda decided ok I'm going to ease up a little bit and restart a strict whole30 later, but unfortunately for me there is no such thing as eating only moderately healthy. Basically I've been mini bingeing every day. I don't know if this sounds strange but basically I'm feeling very out of control. @Dragonslayer you mentioned you feeling terrible the next day after you binged on your weekly shopping trip, and that's been me every day for 4 days now! I've fallen back to habits I though I was long past, like secret eating in my car. The worst part is I still have two weeks of this crazy stress before I get a bit of a break. 

I feel so disappointed in myself. I hate that I still have these problems. I hate that I've obsessed over food for most of my life. I know I have made a lot of progress in the last year or so, but falling hard like this makes it feel like nothing.

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Just sharing a few thoughts on preventing binges. I can't claim these always work for me but they may for others.  First is when you feel the urges, start journaling how you're feeling.  And then breathe.  Practice relaxation breathing -- inhale to three counts, exhale to six etc.  If you still feel the urge tell yourself you can have anything but you have to eat it sitting down on a plate.  The other thing I try to do is uncouple stress = binging.  Instead i try to think that not binging will be my best tool during stressful times.  Really difficult I know.  Lastly, if you do binge I think self love is really important.  It's awful feeling so low and I try to say OK, that was yesterday, I'm human, now let's move on.  Just some thoughts to consider (and in my case, practice more!!)

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These meals all sound so good!  Yesterday when we were tempted to build an ark I had to work - it would have been the perfect cooking day!  

HMG - thanks for the breathing tips.  Is there something to the in 3 out 6?  I've heard that before.  Never tried it.  I will this evening after dinner when I am in the mood to eat the whole fruit section of the grocery store.  Does this happen to anyone else?  My lovely W30 meals are fulfilling (both mentally and physically) for breakfast and lunch.  But at dinner time... all.I.want.to.do.is.eat.  I tend to "graze" on carrots while cooking (too many) and then once I'm done with a serving of dinner I want more.  It is like at dinnertime eating just makes me want to eat more!  I think this is definitely the habit thing rearing its head.  I picked up that book @Dragonslayer and I'm convinced my feed back loop is stress (like normal stress, just end of the day/ I'm tired stress) --> binge (not even binge necessarily, just eating a large volume of food - even if its mostly veggies) --> feel soothed.  So I need to change that in-between behavior.  Or maybe change the result.  Like I have to force myself to eat a normal sized portion of food even if for a while it makes me feel uncomfortable to do so.

Am I alone in this feeling that I feel like dinner every day is almost a mini binge.  It is W30 food but just eaten to excess.  Like last night... I had probably 8 oz of baby carrots while cooking (about half a 1 lb bag), then for dinner I cooked up 1.5 huge bell peppers and a pretty big onion intending to take half for dinner and leave half for breakfast today and spiralized a zucchini.  I added left over chicken to half the onions and peppers, added Rao's sauce and put it on my zucchini noodles with some parmesan cheese.  It was a lovely portion - probably too big for most people :) And then I went back, spiralized another zucchini and added more sauce to the rest of the onions and peppers and ate them too... That was like 4 lbs of raw veggies.  Maybe 5.  :ph34r:  And this is every night.  It is all low calorie high volume food (which I honestly do enjoy but maybe is backfiring because it is so "safe").  Like if I sat down with a bowl of pasta last night I wouldn't have gone back for more knowing it was too calorically dense?  Feeling blah about all this because every day I know that the uncomfortable feeling of eating in the evening is coming.  Jeez.  Pity party for littleg this morning.  Sorry ladies.

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@littleg  I totally share your pain! I eat so many carrots that my palms are often orange and my fruit plates would feed a zoo! For me the first step is being conscious of the habit. The second is giving myself a slightly smaller portion and allowing myself the option of going back for more if I’m not satisfied. Lastly, I give myself an allowance of two pieces of fruit a day at anytime. Not my usual six. And after dinner my only options have to be fruits that are lower in sugar. A tart apple or maybe a few blackberries

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1 hour ago, hmg1993 said:

@littleg  I totally share your pain! I eat so many carrots that my palms are often orange and my fruit plates would feed a zoo! For me the first step is being conscious of the habit. The second is giving myself a slightly smaller portion and allowing myself the option of going back for more if I’m not satisfied. Lastly, I give myself an allowance of two pieces of fruit a day at anytime. Not my usual six. And after dinner my only options have to be fruits that are lower in sugar. A tart apple or maybe a few blackberries

My hands are orange too!  I get picked on all the time for it.  Though when I was pregnant I did't eat carrots for months and they never did get any less orange :) But maybe the Vitamin A was coming from somewhere else!

Are you sticking to your limits?  I've tried having that mindset but I stick to it for a few days, than bam.  2 lbs of grapes for dinner :/

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@5280sarah and @Alisha Alexander I'm happy you both are still following! I already feel we have built a small little community here and it's nice to know we can all share our struggles as well as our progress. @5280sarah, that is VERY re-assuring about the pregnancy thing. Not that I will use it as an excuse to continue my bad habits, but it's nice to know that someone who had a similar bingeing past was able to maintain a healthy lifestyle during that 9 months. I hope to be at the next stage of working on my food freedom by the time we decide to start trying for kids, but that is still semi far away so who knows where this journey will take me by then! I'm really happy for you doing better in the last few months. Totally agree about the muscle memory and mental shift stuff from the book. Its just all about keeping the consistency of the new habits and really trying to dismiss the old ones. I'm trying to work on some other small habits I want to change, in hopes that it helps train my brain to develop the ones more easily, which could hopefully help with the eating. For instance, I have always had a bad habit of biting my nails. I won't bite them if they are painted a dark color I have discovered, so I am keeping them black and working on building that new habit of not biting. I think just helping train your brain and strengthening that area (wherever it is!) is helpful. 

@Alisha Alexander We are/were in very similar situations. I too crashed after day 5, and the time before that, I also had a 4 day binge that was truly awful and so hard to come out of. I know the feeling of taking one step forward just to take another step back. And recently I was falling back into habits I havent done in years, and thats when I realized I needed to buck up and change. Just remind yourself that you are a strong person and although there is a part of you that wants to keep bingeing, there is an even bigger part of you that DOESN'T want to. You just have to keep trying to make that good voice louder than the binge voice. And I too have made tons of progress, which helps remind me and should remind you too that we know we can do better. The simple act of not giving up and continuing to stay on the path to food freedom is success in itself. You could just say screw it! and keep bingeing. But instead, you are coming to read this forum, staying mindful of your little "relapse" and you want to "snap out of it." The key to snapping out of it in my opinion is your attitude. You must have CONFIDENCE in yourself. Don't be scared of eating, don't question what you are eating, just make healthy choices and be confident in your choices. Continuing to binge is only going to make your stress level rise, but having even short periods of clear headed "good days" is worth the effort and will help remind you that you can still do this. Yes you may be overwhelmed and it may be too much to try the strict whole30 plan right now, but just tell yourself that you will get to that eventually, and right now, you just need to focus on getting your confidence back, making healthy choices as much as possible, and staying mindful of your thoughts and behaviors. Stay positive. Thats the key. Recovering from bingeing is not just about what you are eating. What you are thinking and saying is just as important.  And remember that recovery is NOT linear. It's not just going to get easier and better the whole time until we magically eat normal. Its an up and down process. But in the "down" times is when you learn the most. I learned so much from my recent relapse about what I know I am capable of and the steps I want to take at this point forward. Use this time as your learning experience and build on it to take yourself to the next level. You may have taken a step back, but now you can take an even bigger step forward. We always say in skiing, "If you're not falling, your not trying hard enough." I try to remember that in the hard times. 

 

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@littleg Definitely agree about the feedback loop thing. And I bet we will have the same thoughts on the "Cue-Routine-Reward" part once you get to that in the book. I will be curious if you come up with any ideas because I have only tried a few. As for the dinner thing, I am EXACTLY the same. Carrots and celery, SOO much veggies, etc. One thing I have been doing for a while and it really works (almost all of the time but of course im not perfect) is this rule: I am only allowed 1 plate of dinner food. I can put as much on the plate as I want. If I'm starving, I'll seriously load that baby up. If I'm unsure, I usually go with the whole30 portion size guide (palm size, handful, etc). I can only have that one plate and I am never allowed to go back for seconds. Realistically, if you eat a whole plate of nourishing food, you most likely don't need anymore, even if your brain thinks you do. So even when there are leftovers, I dont let myself even take one small extra bite. Only the one plate. If after an hour I still think I am hungry, I'll have a square of 100% cacao with coconut butter or something. But usually I find that once my food settles, I feel more full and the cravings subside. It's hard at first, but once you get in the habit, its way easier.

I've also been doing another thing lately to stop the snacking before dinner. Instead of munching on carrots, between 3 and 5pm I will make a small salad with a bunch of cut up veggies and a light dressing. I make myself sit down to eat it, and just mentally, it feels more satisfying because I feel like I am eating a small meal instead of a few carrots and it seems to calm my mind and my hunger. Maybe try that. I am really also focusing on ALWAYS sitting when I eat, and making sure all food is either on a plate or in a bowl. Even the carrots. I'll put them in a bowl and go sit on the couch for a minute and eat them. Of course I slip or mindlessly forget sometimes and end up snacking in the kitchen, but I am focusing on trying to NOT eat standing in the kitchen ever.

@hmg1993 I am trying to use the breathing strategies as well, but I always seem to forget about it in the moment. But there are some good apps for your phone I found for breathing and meditation. Some are just a few minutes long, and I am trying to do that here and there to get more into meditating and just slowing down to breathe when I am stressed and anxious. I am really not good at just sitting so calmly, so I know its a weakness that I need to work on and I am sure it will help my anxiety. 

To everyone, below are a few quotes I have on my phone that I try and look at daily, and in times when I want a food I am unsure about or want to binge, I try to remember to ask myself: "Is this food really worth it? Is it worth starting over? Is it worth triggering a possible binge? Is it worth the hard work you have already put in?" And then I look at these quotes:

**IF YOU HAVE TO QUESTION IT, THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NO.

** If I quit now, I will soon be back to where I started. When I started, I was desperately wishing to be where I am now.

**FOOD IS NOT A CHEAT OR TREAT, GOOD OR BAD, CLEAN OR DIRTY. FOOD DOES NOT HAVE MORALS. ONLY BENEFITS AND CONSEQUENCES.

**Do something today you will be proud of tomorrow.

**The comeback is always stronger than the setback.

 

 

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@Alisha Alexander I thought of one other thing that may help you right now that I read in a book. Feeling like you are making progress and conquering certain challenges is what helps fuel your confidence. But your goals have to be realistic. So each day, set one SMALL goal for yourself. Make it easy, slightly challenging if you want, but know that you can do it. Try and accomplish just that one goal for the day. And each day you can build on it and pick different goals over time. I did this for a while with learning to break my habit of always snacking on fruit and nut butter right after breakfast even though I wasn't hungry. So the first day I said, "Today, I will only eat half the apple with one tablespoon of almond butter, instead of the whole thing and dipping it in the jar." Then I would either do that same goal the next few days, or I would switch it up. "Today, I will eat some vegetables cooked in ghee instead of the fruit." Or "Today, I will eat an early lunch instead of any snack in between breakfast and lunch." It just can be something so simple. But accomplishing that one small goal actually ends up feeling really good. And then slowly you get more confidence in your ability to change your habits.  

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39 minutes ago, Dragonslayer said:

**FOOD IS NOT A CHEAT OR TREAT, GOOD OR BAD, CLEAN OR DIRTY. FOOD DOES NOT HAVE MORALS. ONLY BENEFITS AND CONSEQUENCES.

Amazing!!  Food is fuel... you choose how to fuel your body... 

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You ladies are the best!  So much great advice, so many great suggestions and all given in a nonjudgmental, not pushy way.  No heart shaped emoticon to put here, but I would if I could!

@Dragonslayer I'm going to try your plate rule.  I always do the opposite - I use a small plate and then refill it a bunch of times.  Tonight, I'll use a full size dinner plate and load 'er up!  And then try not to go back for more.  It sounds like you are saying being mindful of your eating (sitting down, using a serving bowl, etc) is really helping you.  And your ideas about one goal a day for a few days... really good stuff!  And I love those quotes.  It is great you have found strategies that work for you.  I'm asking purely to try to find patterns (something the habit book talked about a lot - that all these data points are what helped this field of research come along)... when these strategies do NOT work - any insight into why?  I'm going to log tonight the thoughts in my head when I can't munch on carrots or go back for fourths.  Maybe I'll figure something out :)

@hmg1993 I tried knitting!  It hurt my shoulder :(  Some posture I must have been using that wasn't great for me.  I mean who gets hurt knitting?!  I'm hoping that once the little man is old enough that he stays up past 6 PM that maybe that will help me.  You know we'll go out to play, he'll get a bath and we'll read... things like that.  Things to get me out of the friggin' kitchen.

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One thing that might help this group is something that helped me (that my sister and I have talked about... @ladyshanny)

I live alone so I always have total control over how much food I make and is left, but for some reason, going back for 'seconds' was never an option so I'd load my bowl (I eat almost everything out of a bowl) with WAY too much food... often sauteed veggies enough for two meals etc... like @littleg mentioned... and then I'd eat it all

Now when I dish up, I lean more toward the lower portion size, knowing I can go back for more if I want... otherwise I just eat everything in my bowl until it's empty regardless.  When I started doing proper portions, I found I didn't actually need to go back, but some of the anxiety was lifted because I knew I 'could'.  I also switched my bowl size :)

I think all these types of mental 'games' are so valuable in trying to teach ourselves new behaviors... they're not really 'games' tho, are they?  They're tools to help us unlearn unhealthy behaviors :)

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2 minutes ago, littleg said:

You ladies are the best!  So much great advice, so many great suggestions and all given in a nonjudgmental, not pushy way.  No heart shaped emoticon to put here, but I would if I could!

@Dragonslayer I'm going to try your plate rule.  I always do the opposite - I use a small plate and then refill it a bunch of times.  Tonight, I'll use a full size dinner plate and load 'er up!  And then try not to go back for more.  It sounds like you are saying being mindful of your eating (sitting down, using a serving bowl, etc) is really helping you.  And your ideas about one goal a day for a few days... really good stuff!  And I love those quotes.  It is great you have found strategies that work for you.  I'm asking purely to try to find patterns (something the habit book talked about a lot - that all these data points are what helped this field of research come along)... when these strategies do NOT work - any insight into why?  I'm going to log tonight the thoughts in my head when I can't munch on carrots or go back for fourths.  Maybe I'll figure something out :)

@hmg1993 I tried knitting!  It hurt my shoulder :(  Some posture I must have been using that wasn't great for me.  I mean who gets hurt knitting?!  I'm hoping that once the little man is old enough that he stays up past 6 PM that maybe that will help me.  You know we'll go out to play, he'll get a bath and we'll read... things like that.  Things to get me out of the friggin' kitchen.

Okay so I just posted totally contrary advice but everyone is different so hopefully people can take what they need from all the amazing advice flying around this thread and leave the rest.

I'm sorry you got hurt knitting!  I used to be a prolific knitter and then I stopped due to personal reasons but I just picked up crochet... I"m making a neon granny strip blanket for myself and it's awesome because you can't eat and crochet... :)

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2 hours ago, SugarcubeOD said:

Okay so I just posted totally contrary advice but everyone is different so hopefully people can take what they need from all the amazing advice flying around this thread and leave the rest.

I'm sorry you got hurt knitting!  I used to be a prolific knitter and then I stopped due to personal reasons but I just picked up crochet... I"m making a neon granny strip blanket for myself and it's awesome because you can't eat and crochet... :)

But that is the thing, everyone is different.  Bowl size and seconds works for you.  It isn't working for me.  So I'll try the opposite! :)

 

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Definitely, and @SugarcubeOD I don't think our strategies are actually that opposite. Yours is just more of the next level after mine. Like when we can master the concept of only going back for what we actually want, not just mindlessly continuing to eat and eat, then we can start doing the correct portions and learn to control our urges at that level. I do want to get to the point where I tell myself it's always ok to go back for more if I want, but just for now, this is helping with the impulsive behavior. 

@littleg I have thought about the insight as to why those strategies don't work in times when they need to, and haven't come to a complete conclusion. I do know though, like the other day at TJ and Whole Foods, my strategies DID work at TJ. I thought about it, told myself it wasn't worth it, took some deep breaths, and let the time of shopping ease my cravings. But once I got to Whole Foods, I didn't really "Let" myself use the strategies. My thoughts shifted to "maybe I can handle it. I'll just have a few plantain and siete chips and then if I feel like I won't stop, I'll just throw the bags away." (Yeah, right) And then in the car once I started with the chips, I got the sweet cravings and I didn't tell myself it wasn't worth it. I listened to the sugar dragon instead and said screw it, I need ice cream. And I went back in a second time to buy the cookies and ice cream! 

I am kinda sure of one thing though, I don't think its that the strategies aren't working, they just aren't working long enough, and my level of stress and anxiety lasts for so long and gets so intense that I can only use so many strategies so much time before I crack. It's like my brain just can't continue to work so hard to resist and it gets exhausted. But I am learning that instead of thinking about it obsessively and stressing myself out more, I need to try and just ignore the thoughts, tell myself "its not even an option so there is nothing to stress about." and stop giving myself so much anxiety by just not even considering the thoughts. It's super hard, but it works on some days, and I am hoping it gets more frequent. 

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