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ChangingWay71's Whole 30 Round 2


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Yes keep posting. And keep yourself focused on what you really want out of this.

When you are trying something new whether it be Zumba, Crossfit, or just going to the gym the first time in many, many years - don't expect to be at the same level as everyone else. This is something I really need to learn as well (working on it). The competitive side of me says I can do it and be the same as others even though I have never done it before. My body on the other hand knows better and knows that I can't. So don't strive to be perfect. Shut out the demons that tell you that you have to be otherwise. Learn and enjoy the experience. And know that you will be a little more experienced (and maybe better) next time that you do it. But do be patient with yourself.

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Thank you all for your posts they really mean a lot.

Today was a different day. I don't want to say it was good or bad. But it's not what I was hoping for or expecting.

I feel like I went way back in my relationship with food by 20+ years. It seems to be getting too hard emotionally so I just didn't eat (much) today.

My choices were

M1 1 Apple, 1 black coffee

Morning tea - Latte sachet, 5 grapes

M2 - nothing

Afternoon tea - small Latte from the coffee shop

M3 - (yet to be eaten) I'm opting for 1 large chicken breast, 2 cups of sautéed veggies fried in ghee

Emotionally

I really don't know where I am emotionally other than it all just in the too hard basket right now. Such a long way away from where I was this time a month ago. :(

Physically

Jittery, vacant/foggy minded but walking around working as normal, cleaning house as normal but temperamental with my sons (11 and 18) :(

Focus

Getting through the next 2 weeks for a break from work.

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Yes keep posting. And keep yourself focused on what you really want out of this.

When you are trying something new whether it be Zumba, Crossfit, or just going to the gym the first time in many, many years - don't expect to be at the same level as everyone else. This is something I really need to learn as well (working on it). The competitive side of me says I can do it and be the same as others even though I have never done it before. My body on the other hand knows better and knows that I can't. So don't strive to be perfect. Shut out the demons that tell you that you have to be otherwise. Learn and enjoy the experience. And know that you will be a little more experienced (and maybe better) next time that you do it. But do be patient with yourself.

Hi There,

Thanks for your post. Yes, I think my 20 year old body (whom used to LOVE to dance and did every chance she got) couldn't believe that my 40 year old body was SO un-coordinated (un-co)! I reminded myself of my un-co grandmother and mother! How did I get so INHIBITED?!!? what happened to the me that believed in letting it all go and doing what felt good! :'( I don't think it's what my body couldn't do but what my mind believed was in appropriate to do :( Bugger, bugger, bugger!!

Zumba is a tough workout! Good for you for showing up. Really, you can be proud of yourself gor having the gumption to try!

Thanks Alana, yes today I felt good about just showing up at the class. My best girlfriend sent me a lovely text message saying "Instead of feeling bad about what you didn't do or weren't how about you celebrate what you did! You got out of your comfort zone, you exercised, had fun, supported a friend and tried something new! Pretty impressive hours work there! xo" I'm lucky to have such a positive open minded friend like her :)
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It's like when my 80 year uncle who used to be an avid gardner (now he can barely move) "The mind is there - but the body can't quite follow."

I have always been scarily unco-ordinated. So I have always accepted it to be a fact of my life. In fact I've gotten quite good at making fun of myself. I've gotten passed the embarassment (somewhat). It always took me a lot longer to figure out to move my body just so and get the wanted outcomes.

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Thank you all for your posts they really mean a lot.

Today was a different day. I don't want to say it was good or bad. But it's not what I was hoping for or expecting.

I feel like I went way back in my relationship with food by 20+ years. It seems to be getting too hard emotionally so I just didn't eat (much) today.

My choices were

M1 1 Apple, 1 black coffee

Morning tea - Latte sachet, 5 grapes

M2 - nothing

Afternoon tea - small Latte from the coffee shop

M3 - (yet to be eaten) I'm opting for 1 large chicken breast, 2 cups of sautéed veggies fried in ghee

Emotionally

I really don't know where I am emotionally other than it all just in the too hard basket right now. Such a long way away from where I was this time a month ago. :(

Physically

Jittery, vacant/foggy minded but walking around working as normal, cleaning house as normal but temperamental with my sons (11 and 18) :(

Focus

Getting through the next 2 weeks for a break from work.

No wonder you were jittery, and vacant/foggy! What a crap eating day.

Why?

Why are you punishing yourself?

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I'm still floating around.

Yesterday, I was back on track with the exception of a muesli bar. At 515pm I laid down because I had just had enough and was exhausted. I got up and ate it and I felt better after about an hour or so.

I'm hoping to find an alternative to this as well as gum. I chew sugar free at work (about 3 pieces a day) but it's always been something that worried me.

Today was a good day. Still had a coffee sachet though.

Down another 1.2 kilos but wish I were totally on track.

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Hi all,

Yesterday was a highly emotional day for our family, namely my son (18 yo) and myself. As all 18 year olds do, he is struggling with being 18, living at home, being asked to help out around the house and wanting to stay out with this friends 24/7, and holding down an apprenticeship. After 2 years of struggling with this I finally asked him to move out. Anyway, long story, but he is back home now. I was proud of myself that I was not hysterically emotional, I was sad, very, he is my baby. However, he is home, we still love each other and like each other. But through it all, when I very much could have turned to cookies, cakes, soda pop, etc I didn't.

This morning I woke up feeling a sense of gaining control of myself and more importantly I felt happy about being awake, facing the day, and I had motivation to get up.

So yesterday I was fully compliant and today I've made preparations of trying new things (I bought 100% pure Organic coconut flour). I organised myself with beautiful veggies, fruits, eggs, fish and chicken. I'm looking forward to a healthful week.

Tonight is dinner out with the girls at a new restaurant and I'm shooting for a nice piece of steak or the grilled fish.

You are spending far too much time beating yourself up!

Today, instead of focusing on your food choices, focus on being nice to yourself. Practicing that on a daily basis may make the food choices easier later on!

Yes I'm going to be nice to myself today, avoid berating myself and just be gentle with me.

Thank you all again for being here. xxoo

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Hi all,

Last night I went out to dinner with the girls at a new place that had just opened up. I had been compliant all day and had every intention of staying compliant then too. I ordered the reef and beef that came with carrots and green beans with garlic sauce. I asked for the sauce on the side and didn't plan on eating the green beans. Sorted.

When my meal arrived it was smothered in garlic sauce!!! I told the server that I had ordered it on the side and asked her to take it back. She said the "the chef said it couldn't be put on the side." :o Another girl at our table spoke up and said "No they can't it must be pre made." !!! WTH!?!! Anyway, I let it go, scrapped off as much of the sauce (also mixed with mash potato) that I could and ate it.

When paying, I asked again why it was that the sauce couldn't have been put on the side and the casher went to ask the chef why it couldn't be put on the side. Come to find out, the girl who taken and served my order never asked for it to be put on the side. She has lied. They still expected for me to pay for it. $35. I'm not happy and I won't be going back there again any time soon. :angry:

If I had not been there with 15 close/good friends/family, I would have left, without paying.

Anyway, today was a good day, 100% completely compliant. Tomorrow is looking good too, I have scary zumba on the cards again. LOL :)

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****Warning. Emotional post to follow***

Hi all,

Today was really a WTF day. I don't use that term lightly either but really it was. I got a call at 630am from my mother who lives in the US saying really random and off the wall things.

It's not completely unlike her to have random delusional behaviours but I really thought that we had gotten past that when she finished menopause.

I spent 30 minutes trying to "talk her away from the edge" while I was trying to wake up, wake the kids up, and get them and myself sorted out for a full day of work and after school Christmas events.

She thinks I've taken out an AVO/restraining order on her because, in a previous conversation two days ago, she insisted/demanded that I be the one to bring my father "back to Jesus" it was "my calling" what I was "put on this earth to do this" when I rejected the idea the primal screaming started up and I agreed not to challenge her demands but accept that she was having a moment just to appease her and agreed. It's not up to me to bring him to Jesus, it's up to him to bring himself to Jesus. (He is ill and possibly dying. But he can still smoke and take himself out of coffee everyday)

For the last 30 years she has talked trash about my father since they were divorced 25 or so years ago, and he about her.

It's not what I thought my day would start off like.

I spent the day with the conversation close at hand in my mind and even rang a councillor to talk about it with which helped but it seems I'm still processing it.

I don't like processing it, I want to be over it.

M1

blueberries and coconut cream, Full cream latte

Morning Tea

Banana and black tea

M2

chicken and salad with tinned beetroot

Afternoon Tea

black tea and small handful of almonds

M3

steak, salad, orange

I did a small amount of angry eating dairy, sugar, wheat but the total combined was less than 2 tablespoons if that.

Trying to avoid angry eating and eat compliant Bo Kho and Guacamole.

Emotionally

I'm feeling anger, frustration, resentment, sadness and confusion

Physically

My back hurts like a mother as I pulled it getting out of bed this morning racing to the phone.

Mentally

50% - 75% focused on taking care of me

Work

Kids

Christmas

Husband

Friend

I'll see how I go tomorrow.

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I know something about having a mother who is not, ahem, exactly mothering. I'm sorry to hear your father is doing poorly.

That's a lot of stress to deal with! I'm glad you called a counselor. And if you are still processing it, you're still processing it. That's life. I'm sure you have a lot of issues about your relationships with your parents. The only road to the other side is getting through it.

Here's to being loving and kind and generous to yourself. And better day tomorrow.

Oh and goodjob speaking up at the resteraunt! Much better than the lst time you went on the whole30! (PS, I believe green beans are fine.)

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Sending you a virtual hug! I was really happy seeing the earlier post from you. You seemed v. happy and content. Basically in a good place.

Parents - may we loosely call them that - sometimes are not the parents that we would chose for ourselves. We can either accept to deal with them, or leave them out our life for the most part. Dealing with parents (especially ones who gave away their parent card) is stressful. Even dealing with good parents is stressful some days. That being said - you are right to say that your father is responsible for his own actions. Because he is. Just like your mom is. Best way to deal with it is let it go in one ear and out the other. And when the conversation gets to angry and unhealthy - just say - "Well it's nice talking to you - I have such and such to do" Hang up and leave it like that. This works fine for me and my dad who has a tendency to focus on a lot of negativty. Some days he's good, and somedays he's just aweful. The days that he is good. I will talk with him. The days that he rants and raves so much - I cut the phone call short. It has cut a lot of stress out of my life. I don't want to go there. It has nothing to do with me.

You have had a lot of stress going on your life lately - so no kidding you will do some angry eating. We all do this. But in the end we are only beating ourselves up more. Some angry Zumba would work in getting stress out of the system (raw emotions). I used to kick box - this was awesome for getting our stress in my life. Kicking the sh*t out of a bag was kind of empowering. But everyone has there thing that brings stress levels down.

Best thing to do is: realize tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it.

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I know something about having a mother who is not, ahem, exactly mothering. I'm sorry to hear your father is doing poorly.

That's a lot of stress to deal with! I'm glad you called a counselor. And if you are still processing it, you're still processing it. That's life. I'm sure you have a lot of issues about your relationships with your parents. The only road to the other side is getting through it.

Here's to being loving and kind and generous to yourself. And better day tomorrow.

Oh and goodjob speaking up at the resteraunt! Much better than the lst time you went on the whole30! (PS, I believe green beans are fine.)

Hey Alana :), I am feeling better today than I was last night when I last posted. Just tired (I didn't go to bed until after 1am) I'm more at peace with myself and the situation. I just feel guarded more than ever from my mother at the moment. I still love her of course, I'm just more aware everyday of her behaviour.

Sending you a virtual hug! I was really happy seeing the earlier post from you. You seemed v. happy and content. Basically in a good place.

Parents - may we loosely call them that - sometimes are not the parents that we would chose for ourselves. We can either accept to deal with them, or leave them out our life for the most part. Dealing with parents (especially ones who gave away their parent card) is stressful. Even dealing with good parents is stressful some days. That being said - you are right to say that your father is responsible for his own actions. Because he is. Just like your mom is. Best way to deal with it is let it go in one ear and out the other. And when the conversation gets to angry and unhealthy - just say - "Well it's nice talking to you - I have such and such to do" Hang up and leave it like that. This works fine for me and my dad who has a tendency to focus on a lot of negativty. Some days he's good, and somedays he's just aweful. The days that he is good. I will talk with him. The days that he rants and raves so much - I cut the phone call short. It has cut a lot of stress out of my life. I don't want to go there. It has nothing to do with me.

You have had a lot of stress going on your life lately - so no kidding you will do some angry eating. We all do this. But in the end we are only beating ourselves up more. Some angry Zumba would work in getting stress out of the system (raw emotions). I used to kick box - this was awesome for getting our stress in my life. Kicking the sh*t out of a bag was kind of empowering. But everyone has there thing that brings stress levels down.

Best thing to do is: realize tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it.

Hi Carlaccini thanks for your post. I'm glad you get that I did some angry eating but I also get that angry exercise is so much better. I've just committed myself to a 6am swim with my DH. I'm looking forward to that. I'd really like to learn how to run though. I'm really looking forward to distancing myself from yesterday, recognising it for what it was/is and eagerly pushing ahead to a better moment. :)

I am so sorry to hear of these difficulties in your life. I can't imagine the stress it is adding. Sending you hugs. Take care of You!

Thanks Kb0426 :) I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to another uninhibited Whole 30 at the start of the year. But I haven't given up on this one by any means.

So my day went like this

*today I was in a work meeting from 10am to 330pm

M1

two eggs, zucchini, mushrooms, onions, 1/2 chorizo, black coffee

Morning Tea

Banana and tea with a spot of full cream milk in it. (work only offered mini meat pies, sausage rolls and lamingtons I brought my own fruit, Go me! :)

M2

Caesar Salad (lettuce, eggs, bacon, chicken fingers, croutons) a plate of various fruits, tea with full cream milk

Afternoon tea

Orange

M3

Stir fry Chicken with veggies with 1 TBS oyster sauce and fish sauce, banana

Emotionally

I'm feeling calm and relaxed

Physically

Tired and a little bit of a sore throat like 5%

Mentally

focused on bed and sleeping

Night all :)

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Dear Juzbo,

Thanks for your post. I'll do my best not to put my non-compliance in red. :)

On the road today to fulfill the Christmas wishes of my beautiful clan. Taking a mummy time out as well as catching up with the girls.

Returning to regularly scheduled programming on Monday!

Hope you are all safe and well!

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Having a great girls weekend. Have had some eaters remorse twice but only eating 1/2 of what I used to eat previously.

Learning that I feel I do not belong in those shops that have size 16/18's. But I do!! I'm down from a size 24.

Can say that I'm eagerly looking forward to starting over tomorrow with a clean slate.

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Hi all,

I'm still floating around, I just haven't posted lately.

After coming back from my girls weekend and having had eaters remorse, the sugar dragon has been hard to put back in her box.

Every day I have managed to fall back off the wagon than get back on but interestingly enough every breakfast and dinner I'm happily going back to my "Whole 30 norm"

I'm keen on the veggies and protein.

I exercised on Monday and Tuesday however Wednesday and Thursday have been another story.

I'm needing to get back on the wagon and stay there.

Last day of work tomorrow for 2 weeks and I for one am glad. WOrk is stressful at the moment meeting dead lines.

Over the 2 weeks off work I believe I will be flying back to the US to see my father as he is not in a good way. The doctors have found a tumour on his lung (3/4 of which was previously removed) he is too scared to go to the doctor and found out if it's cancer. I'm not sure where to go from there but I feel like it's best to go and see him before anything happens.

So tomorrow I will try again to muster up the "will do" spirit to stay off all sugar, dairy and grains.

Wish me luck! :)

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I do wish you luck in all of the issues with your dad.

I say because of the stress you make the best choices you can, and stop beating yourself up if you feel like you offroaded. Just let go of the whole30 concept, and focus on the choices that make you more healthy for now. If you have less healthy choices, then you have them. As you said, you are already making great choices at breakfast and dinner. Your LIFE may not be whole30 ALL the time. How can it?

Happy holidays to you, and safe travels.

My best,

Kel

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Hi all,

Thank you for your posts, they really are motivating, thoughtful and keep me going.

As far as my father goes, I'm going to try and wait until March, I know it may sound silly but, there are several factors on this reasoning.

And it may sound terrible to some but he has been known to cry wolf frequently and for a very long time, I'm getting no feedback from the doctor because he wouldn't stay to see him (I think he is scared and it's a valid reason) and the price of tickets in March are $2000 cheaper than they are to go in January, also the predicted snow fall for his area is 22". I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

As far as my eating, I'm feeling pretty good about it. My work load has come to a halt because we are on holidays now. So I'm not stressing as much as I have been.

Yesterday was

M1

2 eggs, chorizo, wombok, onion, capsicum and zuchinni, black tea

Morning tea

-

M2

Lipton chai Latte Sachet

(I felt Sick as sick so will give them away to a friend who likes them)

Afternoon tea

Orange

M3

2 pieces of grilled fish, Salad, beets, balsamic vinegar dressing

A little more

2 chocolate straw biscuits

Dh and I went for a walk yesterday too

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Big post - eaten :( LOL

As I was saying...

I'm technically at the end of my Whole 30 Round 2.

This is what I've learned.

I've learned that:

  • even though I off-roaded a lot, I still made better food choices than I have in the past
  • Dairy is not my friend and I need to learn to adjust my vegetable choices to include items that will provide more calcium for me.
  • I have a lot of stories I tell myself why I shouldn't eat Whole 30 - none are viable.
  • I actually CAN run for 1 full minute without dying
  • coffee and tea are not my friend either, I tell myself I NEED milk and sugar in them or I DESERVE it.
  • I no longer hyperventilate when I run
  • coffe and tea = wee when I try to run
  • I'm strongly considering deleting coffee and tea from my diet
  • I actually DO like water!
  • I prefer to eat my vegetables first because I like them so much
  • I've been able to start exercising on this round :)
  • I still need to be aware of my portion sizes but it's not rocket science either
  • I need to create a game plan for myself to allow myself to be successful for my next round
  • I'm strongly considering a Round 3 on 1/1/13 but Im worried it's too soon - or is that a story I'm telling myself?

Thanks everyone for your support, I'm looking forward to finding out what's next for me! :)

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