My Whole30 starts today, and my hopes are up!

[Annalisa Hooper]

Today, I hope to start on the journey to life-long health. I am 31and have battled being overweight for most of my life. I have tried many crash diets and calorie-restricting plans in the past and was met with a lot of short term success and weight loss, but none of those attempts lasted long term. I gained the most control over my eating habits with a point/calorie based plan about 5 years ago and lost about 90 lbs and found myself active, ran my first full marathon, and felt on top of the world. But then, I began struggling with the stress of grad school, crippling depression, and a crumbling self esteem because the efforts I went through to achieve my weight loss weren't sustainable. I again found myself turning to my old friend food for comfort or punishment with how I was feeling. With calorie counting, I had never addressed WHAT to eat to fuel my body or confront my unhealthy relationship with food...so when I stopped the act of calorie-counting, I reverted back to my old ways.  In the last five years, I have gained back those 90 lbs, plus about 15 more. I have been battling depression, IBS, lack of energy and motivation, and a stunningly low sense of self worth. I've had some amazing times in these years as well (getting married, getting promoted, buying my first home), but even the highs have been met with this fog of not feeling fully present and healthy for my life. In our first year of marriage, we suffered a 10 week miscarriage and I've found it hard to recover. The weight has piled on, and I feel unfit to try to get pregnant again until I feel healthy for fear that it will happen again...or if I do carry to term, that I'll have a miserable and medically complicated pregnancy. My husband wants children so badly and I have struggled with feeling like a failure for not being able to give him that in my current state. A friend at work told me about the Whole30 and I bought the books...and then they sat on my nightstand unopened for 2 months. After a long hard conversation with my husband about the trajectory of our lives, our future family, and our health, I finally picked up the books and started reading...and I completely devoured them. I knew this was something that I had to get serious about. I want so much more than weight loss with committing to the Whole30...I want to be the best possible version of myself in this life...for me, my future family, and for the people around me that depend on me. I want to be healthy of mind, body, and spirit and finally address my unhealthy relationship with food. I want to confront my excuses and laziness head on and finally make my health a priority...not just how I look or what number is on the scale. Reading through It Starts With Food, and The Whole 30, it has opened my eyes to how poorly I have been caring for my one and only body...and given me so much hope that I can change the trajectory of my life for the better with committing to optimizing my health. It is day one, and I am so incredibly optimistic that this will truly be a life-change and something that will finally help me achieve sustained health throughout my lifetime. I feel like I am learning so much already and am so excited to learn more about myself, about the foods that naturally fuel my body, and about the true hold those unhealthy old comfort foods had on me. I'm not normally that open about commitments like this since I've tried and failed in the past...but this feels different...I have to go public to succeed. Prayers appreciated!
 

[pearlgirl2017]

Absolutely, prayers are with you. Remember to be kind to yourself all thru the 30 days. It's definitely a learning curve to be 100% compliant, 100% of the time.  

[Rottiegirl2017]

@Annalisa Hooper - I have also fought my weight all of my life (and have some sad, deep-rooted weight/body issues from childhood).  I also can relate to the late miscarriage - I was about your age when I had mine.  I was pregnant with my second child and at 12 weeks found I had miscarried.  I was devastated, depressed, and also went down the emotional eating path.    Please remember that the loss of your angel is not a reflection of you or anything you did.  It's awesome that you want to get your body and your mind healthy and in a happier place before you go down that path again. 

I would disagree with you about your commitment ability - look at what you have accomplished:  grad school, previously lost 90lbs and you ran a marathon!  I would say you have all the ability to commit and succeed.  You can do this.  As Melissa says, "take it one bite at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time" if you need to.  YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.  You WILL do this.