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Is this how it starts?

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Day One of introduction, dairy, it was fine.

Day two is supposed to be compliant, right? And it was except for a little feta cheese I put in a salad I made after dinner.

Today, Day 3, I take my daughter to Planet Organic for some plantain chips. I pick up a bag of "Sweet Potato chips"--I've had my eye on this since about day 35 of my whole60. They only have three ingedients --sweet potatoes, salt and canola oil which is why I've waited. I had two of the chips and decided to give them to my son. They really tasted like frankenfood to me.

Oh, and we also tried out a pop--a vanilla creme soda--with cane sugar listed as the second ingredient. I took a swallow right there in the store and I said, "Oh migawd, Emma. (my daughter was with me) I haven't had sugar for two months."

A woman was just ahead of us and turned around with a kind smile on her face and she said, "Uh oh. Better watch out" (or something like that) And I looked at her and smiled and thought exactly the same thing. I had about three more sips in the car --two after I said I wouldn't have anymore.

What should I do?

I feel like what I should do is be wholly and completely strict with myself for 2 days just to prove to myself that I can be in control--(like the last 60 days did not count ?!) but I'm not sure I'm not coming from a place of punishment and I am certainly coming from a place of fear with that thought.

I could, of course, continue with reintroduction, (non gluten grains) though I just realised I'll have to go out and buy rice...and I haven't mde up my mind about whether to reintroduce it back into the house or not. (My son gorges himself on it--and we're talking white rice, he won't touch brown.)

I could forgive myself and acknowledge that I am in a "Try it and see" frame of mind and leave it at that--or is that being in denial?

In any event, the mind games have begun haven't they?

Advice? Thanks.

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I think it is the mind games and internal arguing that I did not miss the most on my whole30, and now my whole14.

Had I not been in the middle of a whole14, I would have baked my favorite cookies today. I would have eaten them, too. Then I would have argued with myself about how many is a realistic amount to have...so on and so on.

I think we all have to try though. I have "items" (I can't, in good conscience call them food) that are hard NOs for me. I don't drink soda, I haven't for 9 years. I won't eat fast food. I know that I can't have crackers in the house, as they are food without brakes, unless I have baked them myself. (When I put that much effort into cutting little perfect squares, it is easier to say STOP when I know the effort I had to put in.)

I think you will learn over time what your limits are. The next time you see that soda, you will likely remember the angst it caused you and avoid purchasing again.

You need to know when the choices you make are going to be "worth it." For me, I had to choose when I eat out, holiday celebrations and when food is not under my control as times when I relax.

If those times become frequent, I know I will have a "reset button" and go wholex in order to get "clean" again.

I would definitely forgive yourself! This is all part of the master experiment! I don't think you are in any denial at all; if you were, you would not have posted this :).

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Thanks kb. You know, as I was reading through your response it occurred to me that one of the reasons I avoided doing anything about my weight for years and years was that I was avoiding this mental arguing.(And the bargaining. ugh.) Whole new ballgame I had completely forgotten about!

Thanks for the permission to "forgive." It is all part of the learning process, isn't it--finding out where the boundaries are.

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I am exactly struggling with all of this today.

I'm on Day 6 of reintroduction and my entire family has been hit hard with sinus congestion/flu-y stuff and all I want to do is bake some cookies and order a pizza (or Chinese food). It's more about the convenience and minimal effort that I'd have to put in rather than the food, but there is also an element of the "comfort food" that I want to make me feel better.

For the last five days I've been feeling great about where I'm at--non-whole30 foods only on special occasions or social outings where I don't want to stress over seed oils or something in my food, but staying mostly compliant especially at home. But now I am exhausted and I just don't want to think about keeping the rules rigorously right now--and then I get hit with a wave of guilt because I'm not sticking to what I said I would. Gah. I hate the mental angst that I've got to work through!

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I'm sorry your family isn't feeling well, Camille.

I'm re-reading "This Year I Will" by M.J. Ryan. There's a chapter towards the end where she talks about how in times of crises (like being sick) we tend to want to do what we have done before the change to our new habits. Blame our brains. This is how we have coped in the past --our brains have carved a rut in our neural pathways.

It is well worth resisting--in order to build new neural pathways and associations that will support the change.

Have you some bone broth on hand? Can you roast a chicken? Throw in some veggies? Easy onepot meal with ingredients for soup at hand when you're done.

Hope you are all better soon.

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I feel for you Camille. I also get hit with ..I hate that it's so much effort...feeling sometimes. For me the fix is to make lots when I feel like spending the time in the kitchen, usually on my shopping day... And keep the extra in the fridge for when I can't be bothered. Alana made a really good point though. I think the whole daily said have a list on the fridge for what you can make instantly. For me it's ground beef and a packet of rainbow salad/mixed veg... Add sauces or stock, eat in lettuce cups, or in my case give to the kids with spaghetti or in rice paper rolls. I even add it to soups or eggs.

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